Is anyone actually surprised that it was America’s own future presidential candidate, Kanye West, who first declared oversized sunglasses out, and tiny sunglasses in? According to an episode of KUWTK that aired earlier this year, Kim says that Kanye emailed her and told her that her signature oversize Kim K sunnies were out, and that tiny sunglasses were the new “it girl” accessory. And well, as I sit here shopping for my own pair of Matrix-esque sunnies, I definitely can’t say Kanye was wrong. In fact, it kind of makes you wonder: which came first, the chicken or the egg? Did tiny sunnies only become a trend because the Kardashians and Jenners wore them? Or were they already becoming a trend so the Kardashians and Jenners wore them? Real brain teaser, I know.
Just look to any of your fav ‘90s Blockbusters (ugh, Blockbuster R.I.P) and you’ll quickly see exactly where and how the tiny sunglasses trend first originated. Our young adolescent selves first saw them in movies like The Matrix, Cruel Intentions and, probably the most iconic of them all, Billboard muther fuckin’ Dad. Like, have the Olsens ALWAYS been this cool? Fuck Kanye, I’m starting a campaign for those two to be president and VP.
So then what sparked the current revival of miniscule sunnies, which seem to be plaguing Urban Outfitters and Barneys alike, today? This ‘90s trend was re-ignited by none other than Demna Gvasalia, Balenciaga’s creative director, who presented a style of tiny shades during his Spring/Summer 2017 show, and then further promoted the trend during his Fall 2017 show.
Of course, it should come as no surprise then that “it girls” such as Rihanna, Bella Hadid, Selena Gomez, and Kendall Jenner all started wearing this trend last May. Yes, as in a full year ago. But, with all things fashion, this trend only recently trickled down to the masses and into your local mall, where you can now get your own pair for only $14 from Icing or wherever. I mean, at this point there’s no need to go blow money on a designer version of these trendy shades—you’re already too late to the trend, so investing in a nice pair would just be stupid. Like, by now the Kardashians are probs already back in their oversize shades with their oversize salads in their oversize clear bowls.
But, since I’m going to safely assume you’re not a celeb since you’re even reading this article (and if you are, then show me some love and hit this article with a retweet) then you might as well bandwagon onto the trend and get yourself a pair of these Insta-worthy sunnies. Pro tip: Wear them on the bridge of your nose to look effortlessly cool, and not like a try-hard, fashion inept loser. Like, don’t try to actually wear them as a means of UV protection. They’re a useless, yet stylish accessory.
Here are a few cheap styles of tiny sunglasses to shop, all inspired by the celebs who made them cool for you to wear in the first place.
1. Cat Eye
This cat eye version of tiny sunnies is definitely my personal fav. This style is easily the most universally flattering and least ridiculous looking. These similar-looking versions won’t break the bank.
The rectangle style seems to be the go-to choice for the Kardashians and Jenners. This is the style that most resembles those iconic shades from the Matrix. Tiny rectangle shades are definitely the most edgy, and really give off a cool and mysterious vibe.
This style of tiny shades is pretty much owned by Bella Hadid. Like, if Bella isn’t in the most miniature circle shades you’ve ever seen then you should definitely assume something is wrong. Maybe he ditched her weird ass for Selena again. I know I would.
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Recently, celebrities have been wearing tiny oval sunglasses and I have a lot of mixed feelings about it. Normally, I’m into almost anything Rihanna or Bella Hadid does, but I’m having a hard time warming up to this eyewear trend. I feel like it’s mostly due to the fact that this style of sunnies won’t cover much of my face, which could be problematic when I’m hungover or drunk in an inappropriate setting. (Which is always.)
However, Kylie Jenner and Jordyn Woods wore some tiny shades to Panda Express during the first weekend of Coachella. I’m coming up with exactly zero reasons as to why Kylie Jenner and Jordyn Woods would ever be at Panda Express during Coachella if they weren’t a) hungover or b) day drunk, so I’m assuming these sunglasses are somewhat functional.
Here are a few pairs of weird, small oval sunglasses that you may enjoy if you think you’re pretty enough and interesting enough to wear ugly shit. Or if you just want to look like a meme. Up to you.
SUMMER Cateye Sunglasses, Topshop
I know like, absolutely nothing about video games. If I did, I’m sure I could come up with some clever comparison of these sunglasses to a video game character. IDK. Anyway, I spent my high school years drinking Four Loko and hanging out with actual human beings, so you’re going to have to get creative here. Sorry. (Not really.)
Sadie Slim Oval Sunglasses, Urban Outfitters
If you don’t get hundreds of likes on an Instagram of a fake-artsy Polaroid photo, you can always convince people that you do by simply dressing like a Tumblr girl. These should do the trick.
Replay Vintage Sunglasses, Forever 21
Apparently, Forever 21 is now selling vintage sunglasses. Replay Vintage is a brand of dead-stock, limited edition sunglasses from the 70s through the 90s. Basically, that just means that they were manufactured a long time ago, but have never been sold or worn. So no, these glasses weren’t anyone’s mom’s in the 80s. That’s actually kind of cool, but personally, I’d be more impressed if Forever 21 could just like, stop ruining decent clothing with phrases like “trouble maker” and “nice is the new cool.”
Lorelle 53mm Cat Eye Sunglasses, Kate Spade New York
You can’t really see all of the red flags that the fuckboy you’ve been “hanging out with” has been waving at you if you’re wearing rose tinted lenses, so slide these babies on, crush a box of wine all by yourself and text him three more times even though he already left you on read. You two obviously have a really bright future ahead of you, so it’s a good thing these sunnies offer 100% UV protection!
Oval Flat Lenses, Ray-Ban
These Ray-Bans really reminded me of The Matrix, which was initially a total turnoff. I’ve only seen that movie once and I didn’t finish it because it was two and a half hours long and I started to get bored and hungry, but I’m pretty sure that it’s about taking pills and a girl who wears a lot of leather and can hack into computers to learn other people’s secrets. Again, I never finished it, but when I think about it, that sounds pretty betchy to me.
Read: The 5 Sneakers You Should Be Wearing Instead Of Basic Adidas Superstars