Presented by Paramount Pictures
Let’s be honest: this time of year is rough. It’s cold AF outside, you’re still broke from buying holiday gifts for everyone in your life, and your New Year’s Resolutions have probably already gone out the window. You’ve gotta get things back on track, and luckily, there’s a hilarious new movie that will make you laugh until you cry, but also give you the motivation to get back on your boss sh*t and make it through the winter in one piece. Let’s talk about why Like A Boss is the must-see comedy of the season.
As best friends-turned-business partners Mel and Mia, Rose Byrne and Tiffany Haddish are the comedy duo you never knew you needed. Obviously, you know and love them from movies like Bridesmaids and Girls Trip, and they’re at their best here—it totally feels like they’ve been best friends for 20 years, and you and your friends might even relate to their relationship a little too much. And on the other side of the story, we have Salma Hayek as Claire Luna, a beauty mogul who’s basically like Miranda Priestly, but even more… fiercst (it’ll make sense once you see the movie). Claire Luna is a bad b*tch, and I’m both scared of her and obsessed with her at the same time. As if those Tiffany, Rose, and Salma weren’t enough, Billy Porter and Jennifer Coolidge round out the Like A Boss cast as Mel and Mia’s hilarious employees.
When we first meet Mel and Mia, their startup beauty brand is struggling to turn a profit, but their prospects take a turn when they strike a major deal with Claire Luna. As you can probably guess, things don’t go super smooth after that, and our two best friends are forced to navigate some tough times in their personal and professional relationships. With Claire Luna constantly trying to come between them, Mel and Mia don’t always see eye to eye, and what ensues is a wild, R-rated comedy about what it means to be a best friend.
But along with being motivated to like, start a business or whatever, Like A Boss will also make you laugh. A lot. Like A Boss is all about dealing with your friends through the good, the bad, and the really ugly, and it’s the ultimate movie to see with a group of girlfriends. Get ready for the group text to blow up about how you guys are literally Mel and Mia. If you’re the kind of friends who would sneak upstairs during a baby shower to smoke weed (same, babies are weird), then yeah, you need to go see Like A Boss ASAP. You’ll laugh a lot, probably cover your eyes for some parts, and hey, you might even cry a little—I don’t know what place you’re in emotionally.
Instead of rolling your eyes through another boring dinner party with your married friends, go laugh at Tiffany Haddish, Rose Byrne, Salma Hayek, Billy Porter, and Jennifer Coolidge doing what they do best. You won’t regret it. If you want to start your 2020 off on a funny note, with maybe a side of business inspo, grab your friends and go see Like A Boss. You’ll like it way more than that business seminar your mom keeps texting you about, I promise.
It’s been less than a year since Tiffany Haddish rose to fame in Girls Trip, but she’s wasted no time giving us some incredible Hollywood stories. In a new interview with GQ, she spilled the tea on Beyoncé allegedly getting bit in the face at a party by a deranged actress, and I need so much more information. Obviously the A-list stars aren’t going to snitch on each other, so I’m taking it upon myself to speculate wildly as to who bit Beyoncé in the face.
Let’s go over what we know. According to Tiffany, the whole incident went down at the afterparty for one of Jay-Z’s concerts. The biter in question was allegedly on drugs, and she was annoying people all over the party. She even told Tiffany to stop dancing—the fucking nerve! Tiffany posted an Instagram selfie of her and Beyoncé on December 22, meaning that all of this drama must have taken place after the concert in Inglewood, CA on December 21. Call me Olivia Benson, I’m a fucking detective.
There’s no way to know every single famous person who was at this party, but the internet has put together a decent list. Here’s who we know was there: James Franco, Rihanna, Sanaa Lathan, Queen Latifah, Sara Foster, G-Eazy, French Montana, Diddy, and Jen Meyer. This is an eclectic mix, so let’s do some analysis to make sense of it.
First of all, Tiffany said it was an actress, so that narrows it down a bit. Rihanna, Queen Latifah, Sara Foster, and Sanaa Lathan, congratulations, you are still in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Biter. So first of all, I think we can rule out Rihanna. Yes, she’s been in movies, but is there really anyone who would refer to her as an actress? She’s solidly in the “singer who acts” category, but definitely a singer first. Rihanna, you’re out, auf wiedersehen.
And then there were three. Honestly, I don’t believe that it was Queen Latifah. She is a poised, mature woman, and she seems far beyond the point of casually biting Beyoncé. I hereby eliminate her from consideration in the who bit Beyoncé mystery. So that leaves us with Sanaa Lathan and Sara Foster, two C-list actresses who could definitely benefit from getting their names in the press a little. Sara Foster is best known for a recurring role on 90210, while Sanaa Lathan has spent most of her career playing supporting roles in mediocre movies. Oh, and Love & Basketball.
Both of these women have responded on social media to their names coming up in the biting scandal. Sara Foster laughed at the thought that she could get that close to Beyoncé, while Sanaa Lathan denied the biting, and said that if anything it would have been a love bite. Sweetie, that’s called a hickey.
Chrissy Teigen got involved in the story by tweeting about it, saying that there was only one person who she could imagine being to blame. Later, Chrissy found out the actual culprit, and it wasn’t who she thought. Chrissy’s Twitter account is often a source of humor, but right now I need it to be a source of information. Does Chrissy Teigen think Sanaa Lathan is the worst? Does this mean Sanaa didn’t do the biting??? Or maybe our two confirmed guests aren’t to blame at all. Maybe it was someone else. So WHO BIT BEYONCE?? The world needs answers.
I AM NEVER TELLING I’m scared I’ve said too much KNOWLEDGE IS A CURSE!
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 26, 2018
Twitter was quick to come up with a wide range of ideas, and some are better than others. Taraji P. Henson was an early favorite, but Tiffany Haddish shut that down, responding to a tweet saying it wasn’t her. Thank god, now I can sleep at night. People also suggested Jennifer Lawrence, but it’s confirmed that she was in New York, not LA, when the biting occurred. I’m also going to go out on a limb and say that it probably wasn’t Chrissy Teigen, unless she was completely blacked out and is now subtweeting herself. Honestly, stranger things have happened. Gwyneth Paltrow was another popular guess, and I can sort of get behind that. Gwyneth seems like the sort of tightly-wound person who could so some drugs and just go fucking nuts for a few hours. I’m not saying she did it, but it seems like a possibility.
Unless Tiffany or Chrissy decide to open up about the biting, the identity of who bit Beyoncé in the face will probably remain a mystery. Unfortunately, there’s just no way to know exactly which actress did some drugs on December 21 and went to Jay-Z’s party and ended up biting Beyoncé in the face. But whoever you are, please be advised that you are immediately and permanently canceled, and you better not show your fucking face in America ever again. Also, I’m pretty sure Tiffany Haddish will never be allowed near Beyoncé again. I hope she enjoyed it while it lasted.
Update: Multiple sources have confirmed to TMZ that Sanaa Lathan is, in fact, the one who bit Beyoncé. Damning information includes: Sanaa is an actress (as Tiffany Haddish described the biter to be), she was reportedly at Jay-Z’s 4:44 after-party in December where the bite took place, and Beyoncé and Sanaa are friends, meaning she’d be able to get close enough to commit the alleged biting. Though Sanaa Lathan sort of denied it on Twitter earlier this week (but really, that denial sounded more like an admission of guilt to me), we’re still standing by awaiting orders from our Overlord, Queen Bey. Bey, just say the word and we will… flood her IG comments with bee emojis, or whatever it is people do as retaliation in these situations.
Images: @tiffanyhaddish / Instagram; Chrissy Teigen / Twitter; Giphy (2)
Congratulations! If you’re reading this, it means you made it through another Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year when it’s basically a requirement that you sit down and watch sports. Even though your mind was probably on Kylie Jenner having her baby, you still had to like, be in the room while football was happening. But everyone really only watches the Super Bowl for three things: delicious junk food, the half time show, and the commercials. We can’t physically send you food through your computer screen, and we’re kind of sick of talking about Justin Timberlake, but let’s talk shit about commercials.
This year, a 30-second ad during the Super Bowl cost about $5 million, so all these companies better fucking hope they didn’t waste their coins on a lame commercial. Really, there are probably like six ad teams around the country just waiting to be fired today once their boss sees that their commercial flopped. We’re looking at you, Dodge commercial that tried to use a Martin Luther King speech to sell trucks. Come on guys, not a good look. So while you were busy shoving your face with seven-layer dip and escaping to the bathroom with your girlfriends, we came up with our ranking of the best Super Bowl commercials this year. And yeah, we probably missed some, it’s really not that serious.
10. Michelob Ultra
Chris Pratt is funny and adorable and also very hot when shirtless, and he brings a lot to the table in this commercial. We’re not sure who actually drinks Michelob Ultra, but nevertheless Chris is very excited about it.
I can barely get the wifi in my apartment to work, so I’m a little pissed that Keanu Reeves is apparently able to seamlessly build a website in the middle of the desert, but otherwise this is amazing. Am I like, turned on by Keanu Reeves?
While teenagers are busy eating Tide pods, the actual people who work there were hard at work making this epic commercial. Stranger Things star David Harbour makes the case that every ad is a Tide ad, and we kind of almost believe him by the end. It’s a Tide ad.
7. Winter Olympics
While we’re a little disappointed that we haven’t moved past the un-ironic use of “Girl on Fire,” we fucking love the Olympics. This series of ads highlights some of the top Team USA athletes, so you’ll know who to pay attention to.
6. Jack in the Box
I’ve never eaten at Jack in the Box, but when someone says the words “Martha Stewart feud” I usually appear within 10 seconds. Martha and Jack have some serious beef (or chicken, I guess) over their new sandwich, and when she takes off her earrings, you know it’s serious.
Was being in this commercial the Giants’ punishment for having one of the worst seasons ever? That’s unclear, and it’s also unclear why the NFL needs a commercial while 100 million people are *currently* watching an NFL game, but we’re here for the dancing.
Tiffany Haddish is a national treasure and she must be protected at all costs. Tiffany dismisses the haters that say using Groupon makes her cheap, because who has time for that kind of negativity? We need to go to a spa with her ASAP.
Pepsi flawlessly rebounds from last year’s Kendall Jenner fiasco with a nod to its historic commercials throughout the years. We see Cindy Crawford, Michael Jackson, and our lord and savior Britney Spears, and it’s all narrated by Jimmy Fallon. Four for you Pepsi, you go Pepsi.
2. Amazon Alexa
If Amazon is going to take over the world, please let it be like this. In this ad, Alexa loses her voice and is replaced by a bunch of celebrities, including Cardi B and Rebel Wilson. Fuck country music, you’re listening to “Bodak Yellow” tonight.
1. Doritos & Mountain Dew
Add this to the list of things we never knew we needed. Morgan Freeman and Peter Dinklage engage in a rap battle and we are literally screaming the whole time. If you spent all of ninth grade trying to memorize the Busta Rhymes verse in “Look At Me Now,” prepare to be jealous because Peter Dinklage still knows the whole thing. Brb watching this on repeat for the next seven hours.