Every good club eventually becomes a wasteland, and TBT has officially reached that point. Much like Marquee post 30 Rock, the club is now for wannabes and nice girls. Sorry, but it’s true. Here’s why.
TBT started as an occasional excuse to post skinny photos of yourself to be extra. Key word is occasional. Like a gift to your faithful audience, the TBT was meant to reward your friends with a preview of who you were before they knew you, or for the lucky lifelong friends, a reminder of how awesome it is being friends with you. Like, remember how long you’ve known me for? Yeah, I’m pretty fun.
Unfortunately, TBT has become a near daily ritual now, and we’re pretty sure we know how every single one of our friends looked as a fetus now. We’ve seen baby photos, bat mitzvah photos, prom photos, every single Halloween photo, and even the most embarrassing braces photos of all of our friends. Sorry, but we’re bored. TBT doesn’t even happen on Thursdays anymore, it’s just something people throw onto a photo when they want more attention for being a freak in middle school. It’s like, the goth makeup didn’t make you popular then, and it’s not going to now.
We (sometimes) go to yoga and meditate and we’ve learned that it’s all about living in the moment. The throwback photos are exhausting because of course every single photo of us in the past is worth sharing, just like every single photo we take now is worth sharing. But what are you going to show at your wedding slideshow if everyone’s already seen the greatest hits of your entire childhood? We’d love to eat ice cream for breakfast everyday but we learned to have control, and posting a TBT photo every week is like eating junk food after you’ve gone to the gym. Your feed is getting fat, and not in the good way.
Obvs we’re not saying you can never post a TBT. There are still special circumstances reserved for posting a throwback, but consider yourself on a diet. Exceptions to posting a TBT are if you were once a fat kid, met a celebrity, or were a child celebrity, then you’re allowed to post one of each of these things once a year. But honestly, looking in your past is over. We’re not interested in seeing what happened on this day 5 years ago anymore, because Facebook and Timehop have made TBT as boring as hearing about somebody’s dream.
Speaking of Timehop, if you must check the app because
you’re obsessed with yourself you enjoy back-stalking your own life, you can still send TBT photos but only on group chats and in private messages. Nobody wants to see the picture of you on your 22nd birthday for the 4th time. We’ve all seen it. Send it to your friends that are also in the picture, and then move the fuck on.
Much like something becomes uncool when your parents and their friends start doing it, TBT has become more than basic, it’s just common now. If brands are posting TBT to get you to buy their shit, you know it’s officially over. Maybe we’ll start a new hashtag… Move on Monday… as in, post a picture of some goal you have, like becoming president or marrying Ryan Gosling, with the caption “future me is ballin, I’m moving the fuck on”.