What We Know About Kendall Jenner’s Obscene Halloween Party

Guys, serious question. Why the f*ck do the Kardashians keep having parties? Hot on the heels of Kim’s ill-advised 40th birthday trip, Kendall decided to host her own 25th birthday/Halloween party on Harriet’s Rooftop at Hotel 1 in West Hollywood. That’s right, friends, while you were dropping candy down a chute to a kindergartener wearing a hazmat suit, the Kardashians & Co. were getting their aerosols all up in each other’s tightly costumed business.

The guest list was reported to be around 100 people, with attendees including Jaden Smith, Justin Bieber, The Weeknd, Winnie Harlow, Doja Cat, and 95 other people that I assume I hate. Kendall dressed up as Pamela Anderson and posted her costume on Instagram:

 

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“don’t call me babe” happy halloween! GO VOTE!!! me as Pamela Anderson in Barb Wire 📸 by my angel @amberasaly

A post shared by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on

Look, I’m not going to deny she looks great. But can all these idiots who run around obviously flouting the rules and keeping us in this state of lockdown stop telling me to vote? I already did, and I don’t need your hypocritical ass telling me to do so. Thanks!!

Not only did Kendall throw a huge party, but she clearly knew it was wrong, telling her guests not to post on social media. Of all the rules people should be following right now, THAT’S the one she wanted to enforce at this party??! Also, Kendall, that’s a sweet idea, but you invited people who literally make their living posting on social media. You really think they’re not going to post? That’s like throwing a raw steak at a lion and asking it not to eat it. Even Kendall’s own sister posted the party all over her stories. Intentional sabotage or honest (drunken) mistake?

Lest you all think I am being dramatic (me? never!) and critical of Kendall for no reason, let’s give her the benefit of the doubt! I’m going to take a look at some of the CDC recommendations for gatherings and see how well they were followed at this party.  

Currently, the CDC recommends that people wear masks when they are less than six feet away from other people.

 

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Kendall via @xxbridge Instagram Story 🔥 @kendalljenner #kendalljenner #kourtneykardashian #kourtneykardashian #bellahadid #kendalljennersnapchat #kendallstyle #kendall #kendalljennerfans #kenginews #follow4follow #kendalljennerrp #kendalljennerlook #kendalltattoos #gigihadid #kardashian #kourtneykardashian #khloekardashian #kimkardashian #krisjenner #kyliejennerlips #jenners #kardashian

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Hmmm okay, so I guess that one’s a fail. Unless full body makeup counts?! I have a call out to Dr. Fauci, so if he calls me back and says this one is fine, I’ll update you!! 

The CDC also suggests guests bring their own food, and limit the amount of people where food is being handled. Let’s see how they did on that one:

 

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Kendall celebrating her 25th birthday! 🎉🎃🔥 #happybirthday #kendalljennerhappybirthday #happybirthday25 @kendalljenner #kendalljenner #kourtneykardashian #kourtneykardashian #bellahadid #kendalljennersnapchat #kendallstyle #kendall #kendalljennerfans #kenginews #follow4follow #kendalljennerrp #kendalljennerlook #kendalltattoos #gigihadid #kardashian #kourtneykardashian #khloekardashian #kimkardashian #krisjenner #kyliejennerlips #jenners #kardashian

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SHE BLEW OUT CANDLES!! That wasn’t even sanitary BEFORE people were dying from other people’s spit! I hope that coronavirus was at least buttercream. 

And finally, they recommend that guests minimize gestures that promote close contact. For example, don’t shake hands, do elbow bumps, or give hugs. Instead wave and verbally greet them.

 

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Kendall vía @kyliejenner Instagram Story 🔥 @kendalljenner #kendalljenner #kourtneykardashian #kourtneykardashian #bellahadid #kendalljennersnapchat #kendallstyle #kendall #kendalljennerfans #kenginews #follow4follow #kendalljennerrp #kendalljennerlook #kendalltattoos #gigihadid #kardashian #kourtneykardashian #khloekardashian #kimkardashian #krisjenner #kyliejennerlips #jenners #kardashian

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Does groping count? I really wish they had been more specific about butt contact. I can’t be the only one with this question. 

ET reports that they rapid tested everyone at the door, and only people who tested negative were allowed to go up. That’s at least something, I guess, but who was doing this testing? A doctor?  Or were they just hazing some low-tier Tik Tok star who was willing to demean themselves by sticking Q-tips up popstars’ noses for a precious invite? My money’s on that one. 

Also, this testing is imperfect! A negative rapid test is not an all-access pass to straddle a dude dressed as the Nutty Professor. It’s just not. 

And I’m not the only one who’s pissed. Naturally, the internet went crazy over this party. 

I think the fact that anyone would call this a “super safe” party just shows what a truly skewed view of reality celebrities have right now (and always).

So now I have another question for you. Where are the consequences for the Kardashians? Morgan Wallen got dumped from SNL for partying without a mask, and the NFL has fined teams and coaches for not wearing masks. But it seems that things that stick to others never seem to stick to this family. I think there needs to be a larger conversation about why it’s time for us as a country to be done with the Kardashian/Jenners and their problematic behavior, but in the meantime I would like to see some sort of consequence for how they’ve acted throughout this whole global crisis. Kendall has yet to respond to backlash, but I’m not holding my breath for anything remotely apologetic.

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Images: DFree / Shutterstock.com; kendalljenner, kendalljenner_official__ (3)/Instagram; repaotd, lolzlindz, sixthirtyagbs,harrysgrovvy/Twitter

Is The Weeknd Releasing A Song About Selena Gomez? The Evidence

Right off the heels of Selena Gomez releasing a song about Justin Bieber (okay, so like, a few weeks), it seems like another member of the Justin/Selena/Hailey/Bella/Weeknd/Selena/wait-where-am-I love triangle is releasing a breakup anthem of their own. According to the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers, The Weeknd registered a song titled “Like Selena”. E! News initially found this out, and honestly, these people need an award because I didn’t even know the ASCAP was a thing, and I worked in the music industry for over two years after I graduated college. Okay, so maybe this is more of a personal problem. In any case, this was a great find.

So, it seems like Abel is back on his bullsh*t, because literally, what else could a song called “Like Selena” be about? Adding fuel to the fire are his recent Instagram story and post. Yesterday, he put up an extremely blurry photo with the caption “the fall starts tomorrow night”, which nobody has really bothered to explain why or how this points to a definite Selena diss track, but probably is loosely related to the fact that The Weeknd has a song called “The Fall”, a song called “King of the Fall”, and his 2014 tour bore the same name. Safe to say, this dude is really clumsy!

 

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the fall starts tomorrow night.

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The Weeknd also posted the same picture to his stories, captioning it, “tomorrow night we start again.” We hear ya, Abel. It is going down tonight! We will keep our ears to the ground and Spotify memberships ready.

If the song really is about Gomez, it wouldn’t be the first time The Weeknd has talked about their relationship. His 2018 album My Dear Melancholy included what people think are clear references to Selena, with lyrics like “We found each other/I helped you out of a broken place/You gave me comfort/But falling for you was my mistake” (perhaps referencing how Selena and The Weeknd dated post-breakup with Justin Bieber and while Selena needed a kidney transplant); “Ooh, when no one know what love is/And I know it ain’t you for sure/You’d rather something toxic/So, I poison myself again, again/’Til I feel nothing” (probably alluding to her desire to get back with Bieber even though he objectively sucks for her); and my personal favorite, “I said I didn’t feel nothing, baby, but I lied/I almost cut a piece of myself for your life” (which seems like it’s saying Abel offered to donate his kidney to Selena… and I can’t even get a guy to commit to plans, smh).

The Weeknd has also used his other ex, Bella Hadid, as lyrical inspiration, singing on the same album, “Wasted times I spent with someone else/She wasn’t even half of you,” which seems like some clear Selena shade/attempted Bella flattery.

All this proves that The Weeknd is definitely not above writing songs about his exes. But will “Like Selena” actually be about Selena Gomez? Call me crazy, but I actually don’t think so. I think that’s too literal. Even in the past when The Weeknd has been clearly singing about his exes, he wasn’t so dense as to title his songs, like, “La Vita è Bella” or whatever the f*ck. So why would he take such a hard left turn and call her out by name, so long after his breakup with Gomez, when those feelings aren’t even as raw as they must have been in 2018?

When I read a song name like “Like Selena”, I think of songs like “White Iverson”, “Bill Gates”, “Moves Like Jagger”—songs that invoke a famous person’s name as a vehicle for boasting or a point of comparison. And when you think about it, I feel like we, the public, don’t know all that much about Selena Gomez to know what behavior would be “like” her. Ya know? Like, short of getting a kidney donated, what could I, the average listener, do that would be “like Selena”? No, I actually think there’s another answer here: the late Selena Quintanilla-Pérez, who was hugely influential as both a singer, model, actress, and fashion designer. Now that would be a tribute that would warrant using a first name in a song title. And it would also be incredible marketing, to get everyone all psyched for a shady ballad and instead get a homage banger.

Of course, I could easily be wrong, and that would be super embarrassing for me. Let me know if you buy my conspiracy theory or not!

Images: Shutterstock.com; thweekend / Instagram

UPDATED: The Extremely Stupid Reason Selena Gomez And Bella Hadid Are Feuding

Sometimes, celebrity feuds are messy, knock-down, drag-out wars. Other times, they’re so subtle that you almost miss them completely. This latest bit of drama between Selena Gomez and Bella Hadid falls into the latter camp, with the feud being so subtle I almost couldn’t figure out WTF was going on at first. That’s because it involved an Instagram follow, a comment, and a dirty delete. Grab your microscopes, everybody, because this sh*t that went down between Selena Gomez and Bella Hadid on Instagram is what we in the business call “minute and inconsequential.” But I’ve got nothing to do today (that’s a lie), so I’ll explain this entire scenario. As for why you should care about it, I’m sorry, I can’t explain that.

In order to understand why anyone would even take note of what Selena Gomez may or may not comment on Bella Hadid’s Instagram, you first have to understand the history of their friendship. Or, I guess I should say, lack thereof. Sources tell InTouch that Selena Gomez and Bella Hadid were never really friends per se, but they obviously knew of each other because they both A) are super famous and B) dated The Weeknd. Hating your boyfriend’s ex, simply because she used to date him? It’s a tale as old as time. In January 2017, when Bella learned that Selena was dating The Weeknd, she unfollowed her on Instagram. In March 2017, Selena and The Weeknd both unfollowed Bella Hadid in turn, which really has got to make me wonder what those two did for fun during their relationship. Like, they really sat around and mutually decided to unfollow Abel’s ex on Instagram? Couldn’t you just like, go for a walk instead?

But things seemed to have cooled down between Selena Gomez and Bella Hadid in May, when Bella liked an Instagram picture of Selena. I know, I know, this is all so stupid, why do I waste my time thinking about these people? I can’t say. It’s an asinine job, but somebody’s got to do it.

Well, the cold war between Bella and Selena started up again last night, when Bella posted a picture of herself. Selena Gomez commented “stunning” with the heart eyes emoji, and the next thing we knew, Bella deleted the pic. Fans quickly speculated that she deleted the photo because Selena had commented on it. While certainly possible, that would be extremely weird. If anything, wouldn’t you just delete Selena’s comment? Maybe the post just wasn’t getting good engagement… or maybe Bella didn’t realize Instagram is taking away likes. Or maybe she really is that bizarrely petty. I don’t know the girl, so I can’t say! (If it were me, then you could definitely say she’s just that bizarrely petty.)

This all became actual news when a Selena Gomez fan account posted Bella’s then-deleted picture and called attention to the dirty delete, writing, “She’s all about supporting women. You all just can’t take it nicely. Btw Ms Hadid deleted the post.” Or, put in a way that makes actual sense that you don’t have to re-read three times, “Selena Gomez is all about supporting women, Bella Hadid just can’t take a compliment and deleted the post.” Or maybe “you all” refers to people who may have commented on Selena’s initial comment? It’s hard to tell, and we’ll never know now that the original post with the comment has been deleted.

 

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Felt relevant. #CommentsByCelebs

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Selena Gomez commented “That sucks” with a sad face, and that’s it. That’s the drama. Selena Gomez tried to comment something nice on one of Bella Hadid’s Instagrams, so Bella responded by deleting the entire post. Lmao. I kind of love the ruthlessness of it all. It’s like, “my enemy commented on my post, so I’m gonna throw the whole post away—that will teach her to compliment me!” What a ridiculous power move.

UPDATE: It seems like I was probably right, and Bella Hadid didn’t delete her photo just because Selena Gomez commented on it. In a new Instagram caption (god, why can’t these people just release a statement through their publicist), Selena put the rumors to rest… sort of. In a comment on a pic Elle posted about the not-feud feud, Selena said, “NO. I shouldn’t of spoken without knowing the truth. I’m sorry. Please don’t be hurtful. She is a wonderful person and it is all a misunderstanding.”

 

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Update* (slide 2 for reference) #CommentsByCelebs

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Soooo I was probably right in that Bella deleted the original picture because it got bad engagement, or maybe she didn’t have the rights to post it, or something. Probably completely unrelated to Selena Gomez. Well, this has been a fun exercise in jumping to conclusions! Now, if you need me, I need to figure out what it means when Instagram said 15 minutes ago that someone was online two hours ago, and now it jumped to two days ago.

Images: commentsbycelebs / Instagram

UPDATED: We Called It—Bella Hadid And The Weeknd Broke Up

UPDATE: I wanted to say that I called it, but really, our lovely tipster Tamara called it. E! News is now reporting that Bella Hadid and The Weeknd have called it quits again, after a source exclusively confirmed it. The source claimed that distance played a role in their breakup and explained, “They are in different places right now, physically and mentally.” The “physically” qualifier seems unnecessary, but ok. On the one hand, Bella is prepping for fashion week stuff and The Weeknd is working on his new album and—get this—”his upcoming acting debut”.

According to the source, Bella and Abel hope to get back together at some point but for now “are focused on themselves and their projects.” I mean, don’t we all? Anyway, wow. Now that we know for sure that The Weeknd and Bella Hadid are broken up, all I can say is: I cannot wait for the new Weeknd album.

There are a lot of celebrity couples I’m constantly thinking about, but I’ll be honest, The Weeknd and Bella Hadid are not one of them. That’s not to say I’m not a fan—I am actually a huge fan and never understood his relationship with Selena Gomez—but they seem pretty stable. As a couple, they’re not really in the news all that much, and we don’t hear a lot of drama about them. As far as celebrity couples go, they seem like a nice constant presence I can take for granted without having to constantly monitor. That is, until a hot tip came into my inbox this morning from Betches fan Tamara Barracosa, who thinks The Weeknd and Bella Hadid have broken up.

First, a brief timeline of The Weeknd and Bella Hadid’s relationship. Bella and Abel got together in May 2015 and broke up in November of 2016. He dated Selena Gomez for 10 months, and then in November of 2017, was spotted leaving Bella Hadid’s apartment. (Who among us has not hooked up with an ex as a rebound?) They have more or less been together since May 2018. However, there might be trouble in paradise… literally. Our girl Tamara noticed that Bella Hadid has been on vacation a lot, with no sign of The Weeknd. To be fair, he could just be busy with other things (he’s working on an album), but it’s a little out of the ordinary for there to be no sign of The Weeknd on Bella’s social media in months. In June, she posted him to her Instagram story when he surprised her with a visit. And on May 23, Bella was missing her mans, so she posted a TBT pic of them in Abu Dhabi, writing “I miss my king”. So, even though they’re a pretty private couple, they do post about each other. Or at least, Bella will post about Abel regularly enough. His absence could be telling of something more serious.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and their relationship might be on the rocks. Two weeks ago, tabloids were reporting that their relationship is “at an all-time low” and they’re constantly fighting. On July 31, The Weeknd posted a selfie to Twitter (weird move, but ok), where he’s drinking a cocktail and living some semblance of his best life.

pic.twitter.com/m1nGRYHEDs

— The Weeknd (@theweeknd) August 1, 2019

Noticeably absent from that selfie? One Bella Hadid—though, to be fair, a browse through The Weeknd’s Twitter history shows that he doesn’t really post about her on there, ever. (He mostly retweets news articles about himself.) So it’s not that weird that he wouldn’t tweet about his girlfriend, especially since Twitter isn’t really the platform you go to to post about your relationship—Instagram is. But guess what’s on The Weeknd’s Instagram?

Nothing.

UPDATE: !!!!! he deleted his insta and she deleted recent pics of him!!!

— Tam Hanks (@TamaraBarracosa) August 1, 2019

That’s right, The Weeknd deleted his Instagram. That’s definitely suspicious, and could point to a breakup, but there are easily other explanations. Mainly, The Weeknd is currently working on a new album, Chapter VI, and according to some music blogs, his fans have been bugging him nonstop on social media about it. Yeah, if strangers were constantly DMing me about my latest article or whatever, I’d be annoyed too, and might just go nuclear and slash and burn my entire account. Also, artists delete their Instagrams in the time leading up to a new release all the time. Taylor Swift did it for Reputation, and Cardi B did it as well after the 2019 Grammys. Fans thought it was in response to the backlash of all her wins, but then she ended up back on Instagram a short time later to promote a new song. With The Weeknd deleting his Instagram, I’d bet this is less of a sad boy thing and more of a PR maneuver.

However, Bella’s Instagram is also kind of suspect. She hasn’t posted a picture of The Weeknd since March 30th, which is a long time ago, but then again, Bella Hadid’s Instagram is mostly professional shots of her anyway. It makes sense that she’s not actually using Instagram for its intended purpose, i.e. posting real photos of her life taken on an iPhone, considering she’s a model and also a celebrity. Unless Bella Hadid has a finsta, this is kind of a dead end. Could it be indicative that their relationship has come to an end? It could. But it could just mean that she doesn’t post her boyfriend to her feed to begin with. I don’t have a photographic memory of Bella Hadid’s Instagram feed, so I can’t say for sure that she did have photos that were taken down. I checked out a few Bella Hadid fan accounts (I know), and even they don’t have many photos of her with The Weeknd. So could it just be… that she doesn’t take many photos of him to begin with? Sometimes the most obvious answer is the correct one.

Basically, when an already quiet couple goes even more quiet, it’s hard to determine what’s up. It’s equally likely The Weeknd and Bella Hadid broke up as it is that The Weeknd has just been sequestering himself away somewhere while he finishes his album, so I’m sorry to give you all blue balls, but it’s impossible to say for sure. Looks like I’ll be adding The Weeknd and Bella Hadid to my roster of celebrity couples I need to keep constant tabs on to make sure they’re okay, right after Chrissy Teigen and John Legend.

If you have a tip you need the one and only Sgt. Olivia Betchson to investigate, send us an email to [email protected] with your piping hot tea.

Images: Shutterstock; TamaraBarracosa, theweeknd / Twitter

You Have To See The Weeknd’s Birthday Tribute To Bella Hadid

In the world of celebrity couples, real, solid information can be hard to come by. We’ve known since way back in July that Bella Hadid and The Weeknd were hanging out again, but there was never any official news. Luckily, even the biggest stars still love a good birthday Instagram post. Today, Bella turns 22, and The Weeknd posted a birthday tribute that is 1) very cute and 2) makes it seem like they are very in love. Finally!! As much as I should mind my own business, I just feel like these two people (whom I have never met) are supposed to be together. (Also, I am obsessed with the fact that Bella Hadid’s birthday is one day after Bella Thorne’s. Have they met each other? I feel like Bella Hadid would hate Bella Thorne.)

The Weeknd’s post is a slideshow of 10 images, which really shows his dedication. I can’t even get the f*ckboys I date to post one Insta story, so 10 photos on the main grid is a big deal. The first one is actually a video of them canoodling from across a bar, and to be honest I’m already into it. Can we just agree that these two probably have wild, amazing sex? Thanks, got it, moving on now.

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happy birthday Angel ????❤️

A post shared by The Weeknd (@theweeknd) on

Feel free to flip through the carousel above, but I’ve also embedded some of the most important photos below, for further analysis. Don’t thank me, I’m just doing the Lord’s work, this is my calling.

I really love this photo, because there’s just so much going on. Bella is grabbing his face like she’s holding on for dear life, and also holding a Juul in the same hand. I’m obsessed, she’s a true millennial queen. The Weeknd’s arm is raised up like he’s holding on to the handle in a Subway car, so I’m not sure what’s going on there. Is this a house party? Does Bella Hadid go to house parties? Are they at Drake’s house? Also, whose hand is that with the red nail polish, and why is she so close while these two are busy sucking face? 

Like the last photo, I have many questions about this bath picture. Is this romantic? Is it a photoshoot? Why is Bella naked in a bathtub while The Weeknd remains fully clothed? Equal nudity for all! Why is he sitting on a chair that looks like something my family thew away after my great grandma died? Is Bella Hadid a vampire?

I really love this photo. Like, this is the kind of relationship I want. It looks like they’re in La La Land, but with less jazz and cooler outfits. I can’t help it, I love these two together.

As with any major celebrity Instagram post these days, Bella Hadid’s birthday has truly brought out some gems in the comment section. In this screenshot, there are literally zero words in the comments, which is kind of amazing. Tiësto clearly loves these two together, which is beautifully random. FashionNova is here too, because they love being the herpes of the Instagram fashion world. I love Yolanda Hadid’s mysterious butterflies, and I’m glad she approves of Bella’s relationship. Kendall Jenner shows up with a mysterious red balloon, which I’m assuming is an inside joke. What a solid crew.

So I hope Bella Hadid’s birthday is wonderful, and maybe someday I’ll get a man to acknowledge my existence post something sweet like this for me.

Images: Shutterstock; @theweeknd / Instagram (5)

It Sure Looks Like Bella Hadid & The Weeknd Are Back Together

Well guys, it happened again. As much as I try to not give a shit about what the Hadid family is up to, I just do. I fucking care. And that’s why, when Bella Hadid posted an Instagram story at The Weeknd’s house the other day, I felt like my months of waiting had finally paid off. I promise I have a social life, but this shit is important.

In recent months, there have been lots of warning signs about Bella and Abel (I can call him that because he’s a close personal friend) getting back together, so let’s recap. It all started when people reported they were seen making out at Coachella, but Bella claimed it wasn’t her. Whatever, I’m not going to call her a liar. Also at Coachella, The Weeknd was seen hanging out with Justin Bieber’s ex Chantel Jeffries, and Bella Hadid was flirting with rapper Kyle, so it’s clear that things weren’t too serious, whether or not they were making out. Ah Coachella, so many horny people in the desert, so little time.

After Coachella, they were next seen hanging out at the Cannes Film Festival, because of course. Both of them are the type of famous person who have no true reason to be in Cannes, but I’m also 0% surprised that either of them were there. Why is this not my life? They were spotted making out again at a Cannes party, and then they hung out again the next day.

Live footage of Bella stringing The Weeknd along with little to no commitment:

Fast forward to last week, when Drake dropped his new album Scorpion. The album is ab0ut four hours long, but the only song I really care about is “Finesse,” which has nothing to do with Bruno Mars or Cardi B, but instead contains lyrics that really seem like they’re about Bella Hadid. Apparently there have been casual rumors that she and Drake were a thing, but no one really had any evidence. On the song, Drake says “Should I do New York/I can’t decide/Fashion Week is more your thing than mine/You and your sister/Too hot to handle.” Literally who could that be about besides Bella? However, on Twitter, Bella responded to a tweet saying that she’s never slept with Drake.

While her emoji choices are a little concerning, I pretty much believe her when she says she’s never slept with Drake. That doesn’t mean they’ve never made out or something like that, but they’re probably not a legit couple. We know this because…

Bella was hanging out with The Weeknd all weekend long. In my mind, that’s when things really started to solidify. On Saturday, Bella posted this Instagram story of The Weeknd’s house, and the photo even has a timestamp that shows it’s current.

This photo looks like a still from a horror movie, which seems like the right aesthetic for this couple. If you look closely, The Weeknd is actually standing on the balcony in the distance, looking like he is absolutely going to murder some people with an axe. But back to the important part. Bella Hadid was hanging out at The Weeknd’s house as recently as three days ago. And before anyone is like “maybe they’re just friends again, let them be happy,” they dated for two years, and have recently been seen making out in public. She’s not at his house to do pedicures and lounge by the pool. Grow the fuck up.

On Sunday, they were seen together again, going out to dinner in Beverly Hills. A witness said that the pair were “snuggled in the back corner” of Matsuhisa. What is with these celebrities not just making out in the comfort of their own homes? This is only slightly less upsetting than Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin making out in literally every park in New York City. GET A ROOM, PEOPLE.

So for now, it seems very likely = that Bella and The Weeknd are an item again. I don’t know how serious things are as of right now, but they’re definitely enjoying each other’s company. Meanwhile, Drake is stuck with a random baby, and he doesn’t even get to sleep with Bella. The Weeknd is definitely winning right now. Now I just Zayn and Gigi to get back together, and my 2016 Hadid Dream Team will be complete once again.

Images: Giphy; @bellahadid / Twitter; @bellahadid / Instagram

Bella Hadid Was Spotted Flirting With Someone Who’s Not The Weeknd

Coachella is truly a wild place, and anything can happen when you put hundreds of celebrities in the middle of the desert with lots of drugs free sponsored alcohol. By weekend two, things start to get a little ~yikes~, and it’s basically like last call at a desperate college bar. This is where burgeoning new relationships/flirtationships get witnessed by lots of sources eager to run to the tabloids, and I’m 100% here for it. Today’s social media deep dive is brought to you by Bella Hadid and up-and-coming rapper KYLE (which I will henceforth write as ‘Kyle’ because all-caps is annoying AF).

First of all, let’s address a little Coachella drama that Bella Hadid dealt with during the much more A-list weekend one. Last Monday, E! News reported that Bella and her ex The Weeknd were spotted “kissing all night” at an after party, which would qualify as an extremely major development. As we’ve discussed before, Bella and The Weeknd were an amazing couple, and rumors of their reunion last fall seriously messed with my mind. Bella was not here for the rumors, and she immediately commented on E!’s insta, saying that it wasn’t her. God bless Bella, that was so easy. If this were Taylor Swift, there would’ve been a brutal six-week long PR campaign to shame whoever started the rumor, followed by an even longer “can’t we all get along and stop makeout-shaming each other” campaign.

So if Bella Hadid wasn’t busy making out with The Weeknd at Coachella, who was she spending time with?? That’s where Kyle comes into the picture. Kyle (formerly known as K.i.D.) is a 24-year-old rapper from California, and his biggest song so far was “iSpy,” which featured Lil Yachty. His debut album is coming out next month, so it’s a major moment for him right now. He performed at Coachella with Chance the Rapper, which means he’s probably very cool. I’m intrigued.

Telling my kids about this is gonna be sick ????

A post shared by KYLE (@superduperkyle) on

Gigi and Bella Hadid went to the Bootsy Bellows Pool Party at Coachella, where Kyle was also on the guest list. At the party, sources reported that Bella was definitely flirting with Kyle, and that the two were seen exchanging phone numbers. So basically they’ll be engaged by the end of the month, right? One of my favorite anonymous Page Six sources ever provided some great commentary: “It for sure looked flirty. Bella was being very flirty that day . . . She was on a mission.” Okay Bella, work!! While Bella was on her flirting mission, Gigi reportedly ate two McDonald’s burgers in three minutes, which is truly the kind of content I need in my life.

So did Bella and Kyle find love in a hopeless place (a sponsored party at weekend two of Coachella)? It’s definitely too soon to tell, but I have a feeling this won’t be a relationship we’re hearing about six months from now.  Kyle is a cute hip-hop artist, which is obviously Bella’s type, but there’s one major problem: Kyle follows Bella on Instagram, but she hasn’t returned the favor. That can’t be a good sign. Bella has over 17 million Instagram followers, so she clearly isn’t too worried about her ratio. To be fair, Bella probably gets like 10 million DMs a day, so maybe she just doesn’t really pay attention to anyone on Insta. Now that I think about it, she definitely seems like the type of girl who texts the group chat asking them to like her photo, but literally never likes anything. She’s just, like, busy!

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So stay tuned for further news about Kyle and Bella, or ideally further news about Bella getting back with The Weeknd. Don’t @ me, I know I shouldn’t care, but I just DO. No matter what happens, good for Bella for making the most out of being at both weekends of Coachella (bleak), and congrats to Gigi on eating those hamburgers so quickly. When’s lunch?

Images: Shutterstock; @enews, @superduperkyle, @bellahadid / Instagram

Does Anyone Else Think Selena Gomez Is Annoying?

I’ve gathered you all here today to discuss a probably unpopular opinion. A “hot take,” if you will: Selena Gomez is annoying AF.

There, I said it.

I know she’s like, the most followed person on Instagram or whatever, but for the level of exposure she’s gained, she doesn’t have much to show for it. Any lovesick middle school girl could write her lyrics, and I must have slept through the part where Spring Breakers won an Academy Award. If I didn’t know she was a “singer” and an “actress,” I would think she’s famous just for mastering the art of looking beautiful and sad, kind of like how Bella Thorne is famous for mastering the art of looking like she just stepped out of a sewer filled with glitter.

Let’s start with the least credible detail: Selena is the OG Belieber. Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber began their fairytale many moons ago in 2009, when they were just two teenyboppers, before Bieber peed off balconies and was banned from China. *Wistful sigh* 2009 was a simpler time.

After many years of relationship ups and downs, cheating scandals, and unfollowing each other on Instagram, Selena and Justin called it quits, seemingly for good. This lead Bieber to his World Tour of Blondes and Selena into the arms of The Weeknd, who I will maintain is the better dude here. But alas, last summer Selena ended her Weeknd vacation and was back on her bullshit, spotted with Biebs soon after.

If Selena Gomez wants to promote this image of being a strong female role model to her fans, running right back into the arms of a guy who treated her like shit is probably not the best message for teenage girls. “Yeah Chad just dumped me after senior prom and told the whole school I was a slut because I wouldn’t sleep with him, but it’s true love! If Selena and Justin can make it work, I know we’re meant to be.”

Even Selena’s mom wouldn’t talk to her after she got back with Bieber. I don’t know if Selena and her mom have some sort of Ariel Winter/Crystal Workman-esque relationship, but if the woman who birthed me stopped speaking to me over some guy with a shitty mustache, I would take that shit to heart.

I genuinely find her vibe of wanting to look and sound like a 10-year-old girl a little… unsettling. There’s something weird about someone who looks like they’re 14 years old singing, “I’ve got a fetish for your love.” We don’t need actual teenage girls captioning their Instagram pics with that, either. Also, that’s not how fetishes work, but I suppose that’s neither here nor there.

I routinely have nightmares about the “Bad Liar” music video. It’s the one where she dresses her very skinny, feminine body in “drag” (reverse drag?) like a creepy gym teacher and then furiously writhes in the mirror for 10 minutes until I faint out of discomfort.

Let us also not forget the crazy stalker video for “Hands To Myself,” where she breaks into a dude’s house and rolls around in his bed in her underwear until she is literally arrested. (Sidenote: Wasn’t that what got Lorna sent to prison on Orange is the New Black?) I cannot think of a more disturbing message to send to her fanbase of feral teenage girls than apparently “stalking is sexy and fun!”

But really, my main beef with Selena is really that she is so totally boring. Rumor has it that during interviews, reporters are banned from asking about anything tabloid related and especially Bieber related. So basically she repeats that she’s just like, a down-home girl from Texas and talks about her kidney transplant for an hour?

I don’t know about you, but I’m more likely to invest in a celebrity who stands for something. Or in Selena’s case, for anything. If all this fame really stemmed from her starring in a Disney show, I’m gonna keep rooting for Hilary Duff’s world takeover.