Matt Lauer Accuser Eviscerates His Shame-y Response

Trigger Warning: This article contains details of sexual assault and rape.

Former Today host Matt Lauer was back in the news yesterday after disturbing new details from the allegations against him were released. Variety published an excerpt from Ronan Farrow’s upcoming book, Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators, which includes an interview with Brooke Nevils, Lauer’s accuser.

Lauer was fired in 2017 following the complaint, but details of the misconduct had not been revealed. In Farrow’s book, Nevils recounts a time in which Lauer anally raped her in a hotel room at the Sochi Olympics, describing the assault by saying, “It was nonconsensual in the sense that I was too drunk to consent,” and, “It was nonconsensual in that I said, multiple times, that I didn’t want to have anal sex.” Now, Matt Lauer is — you guessed it — denying these claims and attempting to paint Nevils as an attention-seeking liar. How original.

Lauer wrote an open letter addressing the allegations, which was published in Variety. You can read the full letter here, or you can read my one-word summary of it: trash.

Live footage of Matt Lauer penning his open letter.

In the letter, Lauer claims that his “affair” with Nevils was completely consensual. Nevils has acknowledged that she had subsequent encounters with Lauer, which were transactional in nature, but the incident she describes in Sochi is undeniably a criminal act. Lauer also claims that she is releasing these details in an attempt to sell a book. And he tries to discredit her claims of assault by saying that their affair continued after the encounter at the Sochi Olympics and that she continued to see him and pursue him. As for the assault itself, Lauer writes, “We engaged in a variety of sexual acts. We performed oral sex on each other, we had vaginal sex, and we had anal sex. Each act was mutual and completely consensual.”

But Nevils is standing her ground and not letting Lauer intimidate her with his denial. She fired right back, calling his open letter “a case study in victim-blaming.” Nevils’ statement was read on-air on NBC Nightly News and in it she concluded that she is not afraid of Lauer, “Regardless of his threats, bullying, and the shaming and predatory tactics I knew he would (and now has) tried to use against me.” Get it, girl.

Nevils is spot-on. Lauer’s letter explicitly uses classic and problematic victim-blaming tactics. Many victims of sexual assault continue relationships with their assailant, and that does not disprove the assault. Additionally, his attempt to paint the scene in the hotel room as consensual by saying they were hooking up in other ways beforehand reads as him implying that if she liked the other sexual acts then she must have wanted the anal sex. I can’t believe I have to say this, but you can do every sex act in the book consensually, but the second a party says they don’t want to do something else — which Nevils says she did several times — it becomes nonconsensual if you do it anyway. That is how consent works. Look it up.

If you need help dealing with sexual assault or misconduct, go to, or call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at (800) 656-HOPE.

Images: Giphy (2), Twitter (1)

Who Keeps Asking For Sean Penn’s Opinions On #MeToo?

Ugh, Sean Penn is back on his bullsh*t. Remember when this ass-clown wrote a poem about the #MeToo movement and it was a steaming pile of offensive, poorly crafted trash? Well, apparently he didn’t have his fill of being dragged by the media for having bad takes, so he has come back for more. This is the epitome of white male confidence. Writing a bad poem that everyone says is bad, and then being like, “They want more! Here I come, ladies!” During an interview on The Today Show, Penn offered up the idea that the #MeToo movement was “meant to divide men and women.” I mean, it was meant to divide male abusers from their female victims (and abusers of all genders from victims of all genders), but that’s not what Sean Penn was saying because Sean Penn doesn’t say things that make sense.

Penn also added, “I’m very suspicious of a movement that gets glommed on to in great stridency and rage and without nuance. And even when people try to discuss it in a nuanced way, the nuance itself is attacked.” He’s really talking a big game about “nuance” for a man who wrote a poem with the line “fuck it, what me worry?” in it.

Also, why are we still giving Sean Penn a platform to talk about this sh*t? Why are we still handing him the microphone? Men like him think their takes are so important and need to be heard, but here’s the the thing…they don’t! The #MeToo Movement has largely been about giving a voice/platform to women who have felt silenced. If you’re a man, and you have something supportive to add, sure. But for the most part, this is your turn to STFU and listen.

In conclusion, Sean Penn can f*ck right off. Like, you can go shave your back that creepy mustache you have now, Sean.

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!

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America’s Second Favorite Stormy Is Back In The News

Omg Stormy Daniels is back again! Grab your barf bags, because rumors of Trump’s sex life are back in the news. Former porn star Stormy Daniels is now suing the President, alleging that Trump never signed the nondisclosure agreement that was meant to keep her quiet re: their gross affair. In short, it sounds like Trump didn’t finish. Color me not surprised/holding in vomit.

As a quick recap, Stormy Daniels made headlines in January when rumors about her affair with Trump in 2006 came to light. With the news story came a lot of drama, questions, and the desire to die when having to think about Donald Trump un-ductaping his tie to do the dirty. Stormy Daniels wouldn’t confirm the rumors, but it seemed like this was because Trump’s lawyer paid her $130,000 right before the 2016 election to keep the affair on the DL. If I ever had slept with Donald “I Had A Fish Fillet From McDonald’s For Lunch” Trump, I would have to pay him to never speak of it again, but you do you, girl. Seriously, do you, don’t do him. You can do so much better.  I could go on and on about how unfair it is that this good looking woman had to get naked with Trump, but  hot women have been having sex with gross men since the premiere of the King of Queens starring Kevin James dawn of time, so let’s just cut to the details of this story.

The “hush agreement” between Stormy Daniels and Donald Trump was obtained by NBC News, who has reported that the document was signed by Stormy, but not by Trump. Stormy’s attorney, Michael Avenatti, announced on Twitter that he would be fighting the original agreement on his client’s behalf. Avenatti also appeared on the Today Show this morning and explained that the agreement was meant to buy Stormy Daniel’s silence, but because it is not signed, he believes she has the ability to tell her story. When asked if Stormy Daniels had a sexual relationship with Donald Trump, Avenatti confirmed with a “yes.” I’m so conflicted here between loving the drama and hating the mental image of Trump’s spray-tanned lil’ shrimp.

As Avenatti said on the Today Show, “I think it’s time for her to tell her story and for the public to decide who is telling the truth.” Hmm, who to believe: the man with multiple sexual assault allegations against him who claims that nobody respects women more than he does, or the former adult film star who was paid $130,000 just before the election in a “hush agreement”? I’m going to go with our girl Stormy on this one.

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!

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