The Kardashians

Matcha? Collagen?? Amex???

This week on The Kardashians, it’s Kim’s world and we’re all just living in it.  97% of the episode is devoted to Kimberly mulling over black crosses and silver shoes in the Dolce & Gabbana office ahead of the big Milan show, like they were filming The September Issue 2 or something.

“Everything is my fault!” is something a Kar-Jenner should know to never admit on the record, and also titles the third episode of The Kardashians Season 3.

I hate that I bring the drama, but much like our girl Kim, it’s my job to do it anyway!  When we meet back up with our famous family for season 3 episode 2 of The Kardashians, Kylie is headlining a European world tour in honor of her fledgling makeup company, Kim is QBing her first solo fashion endeavor with her kontentious Dolce & Gabbana kollab, and Kourtney has donned her business betch blazer to dropkick the Flintstones out of a job with her new gummy vitamin brand.  Meanwhile, Khloé had a successful surgery, removing the cancerous tumor from her cheek, and Scott catches up with Kris after a freak accident.

In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death, taxes, and the Kardashians.  America's royal family is back for a third season of their hit Hulu series, literally rolling onto our screens in the most chaotic manner possible.  In a meta moment, the episode began with the fam filming their season 3 show opening–a cheesy and low-key cringey roller rink music video that left us with so many pertinent questions.

You know what they say: the Devil works hard but, Kris Jenner works harder.

Can you imagine someone seriously asking which private jet they should take today?