Recently, celebrities have been wearing tiny oval sunglasses and I have a lot of mixed feelings about it. Normally, I’m into almost anything Rihanna or Bella Hadid does, but I’m having a hard time warming up to this eyewear trend. I feel like it’s mostly due to the fact that this style of sunnies won’t cover much of my face, which could be problematic when I’m hungover or drunk in an inappropriate setting. (Which is always.)
However, Kylie Jenner and Jordyn Woods wore some tiny shades to Panda Express during the first weekend of Coachella. I’m coming up with exactly zero reasons as to why Kylie Jenner and Jordyn Woods would ever be at Panda Express during Coachella if they weren’t a) hungover or b) day drunk, so I’m assuming these sunglasses are somewhat functional.
Here are a few pairs of weird, small oval sunglasses that you may enjoy if you think you’re pretty enough and interesting enough to wear ugly shit. Or if you just want to look like a meme. Up to you.
I know like, absolutely nothing about video games. If I did, I’m sure I could come up with some clever comparison of these sunglasses to a video game character. IDK. Anyway, I spent my high school years drinking Four Loko and hanging out with actual human beings, so you’re going to have to get creative here. Sorry. (Not really.)
If you don’t get hundreds of likes on an Instagram of a fake-artsy Polaroid photo, you can always convince people that you do by simply dressing like a Tumblr girl. These should do the trick.
Apparently, Forever 21 is now selling vintage sunglasses. Replay Vintage is a brand of dead-stock, limited edition sunglasses from the 70s through the 90s. Basically, that just means that they were manufactured a long time ago, but have never been sold or worn. So no, these glasses weren’t anyone’s mom’s in the 80s. That’s actually kind of cool, but personally, I’d be more impressed if Forever 21 could just like, stop ruining decent clothing with phrases like “trouble maker” and “nice is the new cool.”
You can’t really see all of the red flags that the fuckboy you’ve been “hanging out with” has been waving at you if you’re wearing rose tinted lenses, so slide these babies on, crush a box of wine all by yourself and text him three more times even though he already left you on read. You two obviously have a really bright future ahead of you, so it’s a good thing these sunnies offer 100% UV protection!
These Ray-Bans really reminded me of The Matrix, which was initially a total turnoff. I’ve only seen that movie once and I didn’t finish it because it was two and a half hours long and I started to get bored and hungry, but I’m pretty sure that it’s about taking pills and a girl who wears a lot of leather and can hack into computers to learn other people’s secrets. Again, I never finished it, but when I think about it, that sounds pretty betchy to me.