There Are Crazy New Updates In The Amber Portwood Drama

New details have come out surrounding Teen Mom star Amber Portwood’s arrest for domestic violence on the night of July 4th, and the story is just getting crazier. Honestly, at this point, these people are just daring me to shut down my entire life to binge Teen Mom, and I might just give in. If anyone has a working MTV login, please slide into my DMs.

In an affidavit obtained by Radar Onlinethe publication that brought us the Lisa Vanderpump dog drama, Amber’s boyfriend Andrew Glennon detailed his side of the story. Like all major domestic disputes, this whole situation was allegedly set off because Amber was upset that the traffic was too bad for the family to make it to the Fourth of July fireworks. Honestly, fireworks are overrated, so I would’ve loved to stay home, but Amber was not happy.

Andrew says that he dropped Amber off at home to “cool off,” and drove around for a bit with their son. When they got home, Amber was still upset, and she hit him with a shoe.

Live footage of Andrew getting home:

Apparently, Andrew wasn’t in the mood to have shoes thrown at him (who would be?), so he left the house and drove around some more. For three hours. That’s a lot of driving.

Andrew says he expected that Amber would’ve chilled out by the time he got home, but he obviously doesn’t know Amber. When he got to the house, Amber “was coming at him like she was going to hit him.” Yeah, that sounds more like what I was expecting.

Amber allegedly told Andrew to put James down (oh hey James! Where ya been for the past three hours?), which he refused to do because James was upset and crying. When Andrew didn’t put James down, he says that Amber threatened to kill herself. If you think we’ve gone from zero to 100 real quick, just wait for what happened next.

Andrew says that Amber then GRABBED A MACHETE. A LITERAL MACHETE. Okay, I’m no expert, but do most people have a machete in their house? Like, the kind that they use to crack open coconuts on Survivor? I have many questions about this whole situation, but somehow this is the craziest part to me.

Andrew then locked himself and James in their office, at which time he claims that Amber “struck the door with the machete and kicked the door and broke the handle.” So basically, this is a scene out of The Shining. At this point, Andrew called the cops, and Amber broke down crying at the top of the stairs. Again, we were able to obtain CCTV footage of this incident, which you can view below.

Amber has struggled publicly with bipolar disorder. She’s currently been released from jail on $2,000 bond, and Andrew has filed for full custody of their son.

I’m not sure where this crazy story will go from here, but it seems like Amber might need a break from the stress of raising a baby. James deserves whatever will make him safe, and that’s all we want out of this situation. I’m sure there’s more about the situation that we don’t know yet, but it’s obviously a sh*tshow.

Images: Shutterstock; Giphy

Another ‘Teen Mom’ Star Was Arrested For Domestic Violence

I don’t normally keep up with what’s going on in the Teen Mom Cinematic Universe, but lately things have been pretty intense over there. In the past couple months, Jenelle Evans has been getting most of the headlines with her tragedy of a personal life (more on that later), but now she has to share the spotlight with Teen Mom OG star Amber Portwood. Portwood has faced many legal issues over the years, but this weekend she was arrested for domestic violence, and there’s a lot to unpack.

First of all, before y’all come for me in the comments, I know that Jenelle and Amber are on different shows. Amber has been on Teen Mom (now renamed Teen Mom OG) since 2009, while Jenelle has been on nine seasons of Teen Mom 2. Yes, I am telling you that two different Teen Mom shows are still on the air in 2019. And no, none of these women are teens anymore.

Anyway, let’s get back to Amber Portwood’s current issues. She now lives with her boyfriend Andrew Glennon, whom she met in 2017 on the set of Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition. Sounds like a lucky place to meet a man, I guess? They had a baby together last May, but it already seems like things might not be going great.

View this post on Instagram

This one isn't as blurry?❤

A post shared by Amber Leann Portwood (@realamberlportwood1__) on

At around 3am the night of July 4th, cops were called to their house because of a domestic disturbance. According to the Indianapolis Police Department, “the male victim stated his live-in-girlfriend and he were having a disagreement. During which time the female, later identified as Amber Portwood assaulted him, while he was holding their one-year-old child.”

Oh god, when will these people learn to get their kids out of the house before getting into physical fights with each other? (I’m kidding—the obvious solution is to use your words, not your hands.) Once the police came, they spoke to Amber and ended up arresting her, and the case will now be handed over to the Department of Child Services. It’s unclear what caused this specific disagreement between Amber and Andrew, but she’s been down this road before.

Amber also has a 10-year-old daughter with a guy named Gary Shirley, and their relationship was just as tumultuous. In 2010, she was arrested for assaulting him, and ended up serving 17 months in jail. You’d really think she would’ve learned her lesson from spending a year and a half in prison, but clearly she’s still got a ton of issues to work through. We’ll see what ends up happening this time, but it’s not looking great for Amber. Hopefully they do whatever is best for her kids, because they don’t deserve to be around this.

As for Jenelle Evans and her husband David Eason, let’s check up on what’s been going on with that whole mess lately. The custody case against them was dropped last week, meaning all of their kids (except for Jace, who is still with his grandma) are back in the house with them. I’m not sure how this is going to go, but good for them I guess. Also, Jenelle is reportedly moving forward with her makeup line, because that’s something the world really needs. Honestly, these people exhaust me.

So, I guess the moral of the story is that I might need to quit my job and watch every single episode of Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2. These people are obviously messy AF, and extremely f*cking dark, which is generally what I look for in a TV addiction. If you never hear from me again, it’s probably because I’m too busy watching Teen Mom, bye!

Images: Shutterstock; realamberlportwood1__ / Instagram; Giphy