A full moon in Scorpio? Get ready for drama. Scorpio is known for its intensity, its need for intimacy, and its love of everything mysterious and unsaid. So get ready for all of that. With Scorpio taking the lunar wheel, you can expect all the shit you’ve been hiding under the surface to come bubbling up in some form or another. Your mission? Deal with that sh*t. Before it deals with you.

Aries

Lower the gates! This week, Scorpio’s desire for intimacy might just give you the push you need to lower those walls. It’s time to let people in. Not saying you have to post your business for the world to see, but have you considered confiding in a friend about… literally anything? Could be worth a shot!

Taurus

Time to let go of that one past relationship you still haven’t let go of, even though it’s like, way overdue. You know exactly the one I’m talking about. Light a candle. Burn your former flame’s name and throw the ashes out to sea. Wait… no… that actually sounds even more obsessive. Maybe just delete their number?

Gemini

Is it time to inject some realism into your dreamy Gemini life? It looks like it. This week, it’s time to give yourself a dose of Scorpio’s signature brutal honesty. What are you even doing right now? What path do you want to take? Stop f*cking around and make a choice. Scorpio says so.

Cancer

When water meets water, the creativity flows. And that’s exactly what’s happening with this month’s Scorpio full moon. The sudden surge in creative energy means you’re definitely going to want a notebook nearby to write down all of your incredible ideas. This sh*t is genius-level.

Leo

This full moon it’s time to ask yourself—what are you holding onto that you can let go? Scorpio is great at getting to the root of problems and seeing what lies beneath, making now the perfect time to examine (and dispose of) negative attachments. Or just keep them and stay attached forever! Your call!

Virgo

Thanks to Scorpio, your filter is fully on the fritz this week. Oops! Try to find an excuse to keep your camera off during your boss’s latest boring-ass non-sequitur now, because there is no hiding your true emotions this week. It’s not your fault. Your eyes just roll like that sometimes.

Libra

A Scorpio full moon is the perfect time to make like Eminem and clear out your closet. Literally. Scorpio gets you more in touch with your true feelings, meaning you’ll have an easier time determining what truly “sparks joy,” and what can safely head off to your latest Goodwill donation. Hint: anything you haven’t worn since *before* the quarantine can definitely go.

Scorpio

A full moon in your sign? It’s transformation time! You know that “new you” you’ve been working on? Now is the perfect time to shed cocoon and emerge as a beautiful, vaccinated butterfly. And yes, that does mean this is a great week to treat yourself to a haircut or COVID-safe facial. Say the moon told you to do it.

Sagittarius

Listen to your intuition this week, Sagittarius, because it’s at an all-time high. If the vibes are off, it’s time to GTFO. This week’s full moon has you particularly in touch with your own intelligence, so if you’re telling yourself something, it’s probably true. Unless you’re drunk and think it’s a good time to cut your own bangs. Then I’d say hold off.

Capricorn

Welcome to the new world, Capricorn! This week is all about getting into your community for you, Capricorn, whether it be swinging by a local farmer’s market, checking in on your favorite coffee shop, or just actually engaging with your overly chatty neighbor. It wasn’t so long ago that literally all of those activities were forbidden by the CDC.

Aquarius

The full moon is giving you the confidence you need to flex in the workplace, Aquarius, so don’t be afraid to unmute. Now is the perfect time to utilize personal and professional connections to get ahead in your career, as you just so happen to be extra personable and charming these days. Good for you!

Pisces

Share the wealth, Pisces! This week, you may feel compelled to share knowledge you’ve acquired recently with others, whether it be showing your dad how to reset the router over FaceTime (for the millionth time), or making a shareable social media graphic about a topic that’s important to you. It’s time to share your genius with the world!

Images: Julian Myles / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

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Excellent news, everyone: it is officially Taurus season. This is a time of sitting back, maxing, relaxing all cool, and maybe even shooting some b-ball outside of the school. If you feel like it. No pressure, though. Self-care. Taurus season is all about enjoying the finer things in life and getting grounded for what lies ahead. Basically, if “treat yo’self” was a month, it’d be Taurus season. Let’s just hope your credit card can handle all the swiping.

Aries

This Taurus season is all about establishing your sense of security, Aries. While all the other signs are proceeding to checkout with reckless abandon, now is a great time to come down from your season and build your nest egg. Watching your savings account grow can be just as satisfying as a new Sephora purchase. Okay maybe not, but still…

Taurus

Welcome to your birthday month, Taurus! I know we don’t need to tell you to live it up. This month, the rest of the world finally gets on your luxe level. Your season is supercharging all of your most important relationships, and you can’t help but spoil your crew with glam group dinners, weekend getaways, and the best new organic wine from Napa that they just have to try, dahlings. No wonder you’re everyone’s favorite.

Gemini

This Taurus season, your airy sign is getting some much-needed grounding. Thinking before you speak is not usually your strong suit (no offense), but with Taurus’ earthy bull energy pulling you back down to Earth, you might find yourself a little more contemplative—and quieter—than usual. Just be sure to give your friends a heads up that you’ll be going into serial killer mode for a month so they don’t get concerned.

Cancer

Beware of friend drama this Taurus season, as the bull’s influence pushes you to stand your ground, sometimes to your own detriment. Taurus’ telltale stubbornness jumps out in some of your interpersonal relationships this month, but don’t worry. The New Moon on May 13th should resolve any lingering drama. If not, that’s just one less friend you have to worry about…

Leo

Taurus season has you going from “look at me” to “look around me,” and I mean that in the best way possible. Put your people skills to good use this month by actually connecting with your community. Set aside some time to volunteer at your local farmer’s market, make calls for a candidate for local office, or just spend a little extra time getting to know the people around you. Strangers today can be Instagram followers tomorrow!

Virgo

This month, hardworking Taurus puts you in the best possible headspace to reassess your career goals and make a levelheaded decision. Chances are things have changed for you in the past year (understatement of the century), but have your goals shifted as well? It’s never too late to quit your job and become a reality TV star. Someone’s gonna have to be the new Kardashians.

Libra

Bust out the (sustainably sourced) palo santo, Libra! This month, you’re using Taurus’ grounding influence to finally develop that meditation practice you keep saying you’ll start. Just a couple minutes a day can make a huge difference, and luckily Taurus is the sign of hard work and perseverance. Because sitting silently in a chair for a few minutes a day actually does count as “hard work and perseverance” in the year 2021. No judgment.

Scorpio

How deep is your love, Scorpio? Sensual Taurus is pushing you to go deeper with a romantic partner this month, and you can take that sentence as sexually as you want. Now is the time to test if your relationship can go the distance. And by “go the distance” we do of course mean “handle a three-day 50 Shades-style sex marathon.”

Sagittarius

Love is in the air, Sagittarius! Now is the perfect time to let go of the baggage of the past and dive headfirst into a new relationship. Goodbye, Whats-His-Name! Farewell, Do-Not-Call! We are not bringing our pre-pandemic Ls into our post-pandemic lifestyle. It’s just not happening. Begone, demon!

Capricorn

You’re craving the crew more than ever this Taurus season, so why not do what you do best and meticulously plan an iconic group outing for you and the girlies? It can be as elaborate or as chill as you want; all you really need are the besties and a couple bottles of that wine that doesn’t make you hungover. And La Croix for the pregnant friend who has to drive your asses home later. (Sorry, Ashley.)

Aquarius

This month, let your inner artiste run free, as Taurus season helps you connect even more with your creative side. This is not the month for judging yourself or holding back. Let your creative juices run free. Take up the ukulele. Throw paint at the walls. Basically become Mia’s mom in The Princess Diaries.

Pisces

Fire up the DIY Pinterest boards and get ready to develop an un-ironic crush on the Property Brothers. This month is all about nesting for you, Pisces, and it goes way beyond spring cleaning. Take some time to fully reimagine your space. If Chip and Joanna Gaines have taught us anything, it’s that a little paint (and a budget of $100k) can go a long way.

Images: Artyom Kim / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

Strap in everybody, because Gemini season is upon us. The good news? Every sign is about to see major changes in their love, social, career, and family lives. The bad news? Every sign is about to see major changes in their love, social, career, and family lives. The next few weeks are going be all about taking the good with the bad, and staying calm when everything feels like an absolute disaster. We’ll get through it, I promise.

Aries

You know that sh*t you’ve been procrastinating since the end of 2018? Yeah, it’s time to get that done. Once you do, the stars are aligned for you to sprout wings and become the social butterfly of your dreams. But no butterfly can fly if it’s dragging a bunch of unfinished baggage around. Is that how butterflies work? Does this metaphor make sense?

Taurus

Taurus season is coming to an end, which could put you in kind of a funk, but only if you let it! Spend the first half of the week honoring Taurus season by pampering the f*ck out of yourself, then ring in the Gemini by letting yourself get a little messy. Depending on what type of Taurus you are, that could mean anything from not checking off one of your eleven daily goals to stealing a boat and waking up in international waters married to a billionaire. Either/or.

Gemini

Welcome to your season, b*tch! Get ready for everyone to start acting a little more like you, aka fun as f*ck but low-key psycho. You’ve got one more day to harness that Taurus energy and get your sh*t in order before your Gemini side takes over and then…well…what happens in Gemini season stays in Gemini season. I’m pretty sure that argument will hold up in court.

Cancer

Get ready for some serious self-reflection, Cancer. The start of Gemini season has you looking critically at your life, which means now is the perfect time for you to start thinking about all the stuff in your life that’s holding you back. Fair-weather friends, hookups that aren’t going anywhere, and yes, even those outfits from college that do not fit anymore. You’ll be better off without ‘em.

Leo

Your communication skills are through the roof right now, so if there are any awkward conversations you’ve been avoiding, this is a good week to bite the bullet. Need a raise? Ask now. Need to define a relationship? Send the preliminary “can we talk?” text. You’ll find that this week, you miraculously have all the words to explain why you need all the money/love/freedom your heart desires.

Virgo

It’s time to do something that you literally hate but will help you in the long run—ask for help. The stars are aligned for all your wildest bullet journal dreams to come true, but you’re going to need a little extra push to get over the edge. Think of someone who can help you with one of your goals and send them a “can I pick your brain over coffee?” request. Just try not to put too many exclamation points in the email.

Libra

Taurus season turned you into a literal Instagram detective, but it’s time to wrap up your investigations and figure out what to do with all of the information you have gathered. You don’t need to follow up on every lead, and there’s definitely a difference between “keeping it real” and “being a giant bitch.” Choose carefully.

Scorpio

You are in a glass case of emotion rn Scorpio, and that’s okay. Gemini season is hard on everybody. The only thing you should absolutely *not* do right now is try to sweep those emotions under the rug for the sake of seeming chill. That is a recipe for a drunken brunch outburst if I’ve ever heard one. Being honest and gentle with yourself will help you feel better faster, and “chill” people are all secretly psycho anyway.

Sagittarius

Time to check in with your old friends, Sagittarius! You know, the people who knew you when you had bad eyebrows (but also knew never to bring it up). Rekindling some of your OG friendships will help you reconnect with your roots, and maybe even help you rediscover some lost hobbies you can start up again. Do people still make mix CDs?

Capricorn

The time to lock down your summer romance is now, Capricorn. But in order to do that, you’re going to have to put yourself out there. Make some plans off the beaten path this week in hopes of meeting someone you wouldn’t normally run into. They could be The One! Or at the very least, The One Who Is Buying You A Drink Right Now.

Aquarius

You’re another sign whose love life is heating up, Aquarius! But that doesn’t mean you feel like settling down. Play the field this week and see if anyone gives you the feeling they could be a more lasting thing. Not that they have to. It’s 2019, after all.

Pisces

You’re f*cking tired, Pisces, and that’s okay. Taurus season took a lot out of you and now it’s time to chill. Go ahead and cancel all your evening plans (let’s be real, you always knew you were going to) and spend this week regaining your strength. Also, canceling plans feels amazing, 10/10 would recommend.

Images: Giphy (12)

We’re literally entering mid-May, fam, so it’s time for all of us to get our sh*t together and either love/accept ourselves or go HARD and try to squeeze out a bikini bod ready for summer action. For those of you that just graduated college, mazel—it’s all downhill from here. For those of you reading this on your government sanctioned 30-minute lunch break debating not going back to work, fight the power.

It’s that magical time of day when we look to the stars and planets to tell us what to expect from Friday to Sunday. Will we all burn out and need intense yoga therapy to get back on track? Will a fateful brunch encounter lead us to find “the one” in a Bachelor-like twist?! Only the universe knows, and only we can guess.

Taurus

You’re, like, really good at taking in the big picture, Taurus, but don’t miss the tiny details of day-to-day sh*t right in front of you. Reconnect with (see: act like you care about) people around you, from family to friends to co-workers. It may feel a little tedious, but just sitting and chatting over Taco Bell can be just the thing you need to chill tf out.

This weekend, Mars is forcing you to make moves in the “I need this” shopping zone, so just know that impulse buying is like, out of your control. It’s fine—live a little.

Gemini

Get out, get social, and stop complaining about what people have or haven’t done for you lately, Gemini. Although you might feel like your friends and supporters aren’t doing an amazing job, chances are they’re doing what’ll be best for you in the long run. So when you’re out at brunch this weekend, concentrate on being out and having fun and not ruining the moment with your whining after they cut you off after your fourth mimosa. We all know your drunk alter ego is not day-time approps.

Cancer

Making friends and being social aren’t difficult for you, Cancer, but giving yourself a lil love is. While knowing how to interact with other humans day-to-day is like, a v useful skill, giving yourself time and independence is just as important. Trust your own gut and know that yes, that outfit looks rly good and no, you don’t need six of your friend’s input before you decide it’s clerb-worthy. The sun in your social sector this weekend will boost your mood if you’re out and about with your posse; just remember that pulling away for quiet time is okay, too.

Leo

Time for a f*cking break, Leo. Mercury is in your career box, so that could mean new and innovative ideas popping up at 3am when you’re blackout but, aside from being super profesh at all hours, chill out. It’s a good weekend to get tf out of town with a partner or love interest with nothing on your mind but boning and relaxation. Feed your spiritual side this weekend and return to work (and whatever else) feeling super hashtag renewed.

Virgo

You’re never bored, Virgo, and this weekend is a great opportunity to find a new hobby (like competitive eating!) to add even more fuel to your entertainment fire. Maybe it’s time to venture outside your comfort zone and try a pottery class solo, or embark on an epic book club adventure and befriend the rich soccer moms in your neighborhood.

Relationship stuff could get sticky this weekend, but don’t fight whatever changes feel like they’re happening. This is one weekend where going with the flow could pay off big time later.

Libra

This was a week of feeling feelings, Libra, and the weekend isn’t going to provide much relief from the emotional rollercoaster (kill me lol). Try putting your feelings into words this weekend, or, if that fails, take a violent kick-boxing class and sweat the feels away.

A friend or family member may make you feel even more emotional by dropping some truth bombs about your home or personal life this weekend, too. Try not to get crazy offended and, instead, really listen to what they’re saying. Then, once they leave, scream into a pillow and get your emotional eating on.

Scorpio

Expand your horizons, Scorpio, and explore outside your comfort zone this weekend. Whether you hang out with people that normally annoy you, visit a new city or town (spontaneous trip to Canada? America’s hat?), or trying a salsa class (idfk), this weekend is all about learning new sh*t. I mean, you could even delve into weird sex stuff with your partner! Really, this weekend is just FULL of possibilities for you.

Sagittarius

Time for a side hustle, Sagittarius! We know Uber and Lyft are on strike, but don’t be afraid to pick up a side gig like writing, retail, or panhandling this weekend. If that isn’t striking you as doable, go through your old clothes and pick out what to consign. It’ll earn you enough money for a personal pizza (or something else v nice), which you can eat while coming up with an adult financial plan.

Capricorn

It’s all about you, Capricorn, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing! Just look into going a lil more “we” this weekend and less “me”. Like, try to compromise on where brunch is happening Sunday morning with bae, or think about what your bestie may think is a good way to spend the afternoon Saturday (that isn’t your idea of blacking out and pizza).

Venus in your domestic house of Saturday and Sunday will have loved ones likely throwing advice your way to the tune of “slow down” and “go easy on yourself.” Usually you brush those remarks off, but try to give them some thought this go around. Not all advice is bad advice.

Aquarius

Relax and recharge, Aquarius, cause this week has been ROUGH. Reflect on that project that your teammates are doubtful of this weekend, and don’t let sh*tty not-a-planet Pluto interfere with its fearmongering. You got this, so go in on Monday with a plan of attack.

Turn your focus inward this weekend and try not to doubt yourself professionally or personally. Saturday and Sunday are both prime for sweats, a good book, and mind-clearing yoga (if you’re into that sorta thing). Greasy Chinese food, Bravo, and romcoms will do the trick, too.

Pisces

Everyone wants you to join in on the action, Pisces, but going about it their way may not be the answer. If your posse is pushing you to pay a small fortune to join the best SoulCycle gym in town, give it some thought. It may not be the best financial idea in the long run since you know you have a bit of trouble sticking with things/not getting bored. With Neptune in your sign this week, you’re feeling super inspirational anyway, so try to make the best of not joining their particular get-fit adventure and, instead, opt for something that feels more you.

Aries

You’ve come a long way, Aries, and you deserve to f*cking celebrate. You’ve hit some profesh and financial goals, so it’s okay to turn your attention toward other things for a hot sec (and stop being so uptight about which days you eat out and which days you scrounge for fridge leftovers). For example, we all know your love life could use a little, well, love right about now. Take a break from scrolling dating apps for a hot sec and try to get social i.e. meet people in real life (shocking, I know).

It also isn’t a bad time to give your nest some love. Go ahead and invest in that grown-up sofa or take a trip to Goodwill to dump the LIVE LAUGH LOVE posters you’ve had since college.

Images: Giphy (12)

Ah, the stars: knowers of my love life, ability to be friend zoned, and inability to let go of emotional baggage. Whether or not you’re into the planets, sun, and moon having say over whether or not you try a weird sex thing or have a weekend trip with your mommy (two really weird examples, but whatever), it can’t hurt to have a very loose, general idea of what the weekend may have in store for you.

Are you destined to tell your f*ck buddy that you’ve caught feelings (the HORROR)? Is it finally time to stand up for your right to party at work (and get fired)? As we move out of Aries and into Taurus, things may take some weird turns for you from Friday into Sunday. Read your weekend horoscopes to find out what the stars have in store for you this weekend.

Aries

A full moon in Libra will push you to get close to those around you on Friday, Aries. You may be tempted to take a relationship to the next level, spend some quality time Netflix & chilling with that special someone, or clearing the air with a betch you’ve had a falling out with. Maybe it’s a coworker that you accidentally cc’ed on an email throwing her under the bus, or a BFF you haven’t exactly made time for lately. Either way, by Saturday the sun moves into Taurus, which will have you pushing for the more practical things in life, like revisiting your 401k or doing something responsible with your tax refund that doesn’t involve investing in Manolos. Venus will also move into Aries on the same day, making it a great opportunity to change your image. Maybe it’s time for bangs? A lavender pixie cut? Probs not, but you do you.

Taurus

It’s time to tie up loose ends, Taurus; as the sun moves into your sign on Saturday, causing a horoscope-y and spiritual rebirth. It’s a great time to walk away from that sh*tty job, sh*tty relationship, or to start over on a project. The moon will also give this bull sign a nudge on Friday and may push you to treat yo’self. It isn’t a bad thing and may help you feel more at peace with other aspects of your day-to-day, but try to curb the Taco Bell and shopping sprees.

Gemini

The moon is comin’ for ya, Gemini, and it could be the key to finally running into that special someone if you’re flying solo or adding mega sparks to an already comfortable relationship. Grab your planner and head to a restaurant opening where there are sure to be other singles, or drag your SO and plan to eat the night away (nobody wants to dance rn). With the sun moving into Taurus by Saturday, it’ll be prime time over the next few weeks to start seeing a shrink or head to a girls’ night to release some emotional baggage you’ve been carrying around, i.e., your ex you still can’t get over. Consider this your opportunity to start fresh and let go of old sh*t.

Cancer

Stop being a lil bitch, Cancer, because this weekend is a perfect opportunity for an impromptu weekend trip or event. Make time for your mom ’cause, like, it’s almost Mother’s Day, so get on the up-and-up and let this lady know that she’s the OG. The sun’s makin’ moves into Taurus on Saturday, so you may feel the need to expand your social circle, even if #nonewfriends has been your mantra for awhile now. Branch out; with Venus moving into your sign on the same day, it’ll also be a great chance to get on your boss’s good side.

Leo

The moon is in your communication zone, Leo, so it’s a great time to viciously but diplomatically defend a vision for a work project, wedding plan, or future dream home. The time to compromise is not right now; hold to your vision, even if everyone else thinks it’s lame. Once the sun moves into your goal sector on Saturday, you’ll have an insane desire to stand out. It could be a great chance to audition for that modeling gig or apply for that wild new job. Showcase your skills.

Virgo

Just say no to the splurging, Virgo. A full moon in your shopping sector could make you feel like treating yourself is the critical path right now, and we’re all for a new dress, shoes, or spa treatment. But, if you’re shopping to fill the void left by that Tinder date that stood you up (rude), set a limit for yourself. Chances are, six new maxi dresses just aren’t going to fill the hole left from Trevor who was holding a fish in his profile pic.

Saturday should help with the influx of feelings, though, and with the sun entering your adventure sector and Venus moving into Aries, it could be a great time to boost a new love connection with a weekend getaway.

Libra

With Venus as your ruling planet, you’re definitely all about love and relationships this weekend, Libra. Friday is a great day to take it up a notch with a new love interest or partner of several years, since the new moon in your sign is making you feel all sorts of feelings. Things will take a turn for the super sexy and steamy on Saturday, and it’ll be a great time to give in to your sensuality. Try a new twist on sex with your partner, or treat yourself to that toy you’ve been too embarrassed to buy.

Scorpio

Time to think about your happiness, Scorpio. A full moon in your think-tank sector on Friday has you feeling reflective and introspective. It’ll also be a great time to indulge a little, so call and book that massage you’ve been debating for the last few weeks. Saturday and Sunday present great opportunities to get comfy in your social circle, since the sun will be allowing you to look deep and appreciate the betches surrounding you.

Sagittarius

In the wise words of Snooki of House Jersey, “Party’s hereeeeeeeeeeeee.” Friday is the perfect night to get your drank on, Sagittarius, and we recommend dancing, shots, and a wild time. Don’t worry about consequences too much, either, because by Saturday, the sun in your lifestyle sector has you ready to tackle #goals. Need to go grocery shopping AND mail a letter? You got this. You’re a successful adult.

Capricorn

You’re in a glass case of emotion between wanting feelings to be out there and wanting to turn inward for some good, old-fashioned home time, Capricorn. Friday’s full moon may introduce to urge to make your feelings known to that bro you’ve been dating—be they good or bad. Embrace family and home this weekend, even if you’re usually the type to spend your weekends out.

Friday through Sunday present a great opportunity to put away that pile of laundry you’ve been ignoring or wipe the sticky wine spill off your coffee table. The sun is in your leisure sector come Saturday, so for the next four weeks you may feel the pull to settle into sweatpants and finally watch Game of Thrones.

Aquarius

Time to try something new, like that restaurant where they blindfold you, or that sex move where he blindfolds you … something with blindfolds. Anyway, the moon is pushing you outside your comfort zone, so getting adventurous when it comes to experiences is a must on Friday.

After all the weirdness, the sun will push you to step back and give yourself some nurturing, probably à la Domino’s and an at-home face mask. It’s the little things, fam.

Pisces

Feeling emotional? Did that puppy commercial leave you in the fetal position? The stars are to blame, Pisces. If you’ve been debating revealing that you’d rather have a full-blown relationship than a hookup partner to that dude you’ve been seeing, now’s the time.

Will you get friendzoned? Possibly—but the time for risk is right now. Plus, with the sun moving into your communication house this Saturday, chances are you’ll sound more eloquent than you think.

Images: Giphy (12)

Welcome to Taurus season, my friends. Not sure what that means? Allow me to explain. You know that one friend you have who is a stubborn piece of shit and yet, no matter how hard you try to fight it, they’re always right? Yeah, that’s a Taurus. They’re as infuriating as they are useful, and you’ll be glad you have one at your disposal one of these days. So, for the next 30 or so days, Tauruses have full reign of the zodiac. Is this good? Is this bad? No one is really sure. What we do know is that shit will be extreme, because our best bud Taurus wouldn’t have it any other way. Happy birthday season, my little bulls. Long may you reign (until you pass out in a pile of your own empty wine bottles). Enjoy your special Taurus horoscope, made just for you.

General Overview

So Taurus, this is your time. We know you may be used to stepping back and playing the equalizer, but for the next month you get to be front row center. This will seem like a lot of responsibility, but we promise you’ll grow into it in no time.

Your more egocentric friends (*cough* Aquarius/Gemini *cough*) may try and steal the spotlight in the name of celebrating you, but don’t let them get away with it. These next four weeks are all about you, and everyone within a 20 mile radius should know it. Make sure that anyone who tries to interfere is immediately reminded that it’s your goddamn time to shine for once. Yeah, we’ll say it. If they mess with the bull, they’re going to get the goddamn horns. In this case, the horns are covered in glitter, but it still stands. 

Career

You’ve been on the grind for longer than you can remember, Taurus. Your drive is admirable, even frightening at times, but guess what? It’s time to chill the fuck out. You’ve been given a few weeks’ reprieve to step back and asses your situation. If you’re happy, hang out and appreciate the break. If you’re not, now is the perfect time to deal with it. Whatever you need to do to feel fulfilled in your career, take this time to do it.

Love Life

Listen, Taurus. We respect your insistence on not settling down. Your friends may have veered toward the path of couples’ spa days and double dating, but not you. You’re a free spirit who has no qualms about their relationship status, and there’s no reason to change that now. Let these next few weeks serve as a dating smorgasbord. Talk to whoever. Kiss who you like. Go home with people you don’t know. All that matters is that you’re getting out there and having the time of your life. Tell your boring coupled friends that you’ll have to skip Scrabble night. You’ve got strangers to make out with.

Finances

This may be a sore subject, Taurus, but it’s time to reassess your saving regimen. Don’t have a regimen? Exactly, time to start one. Quick reminder that our paper government could crumble any day now, and short of keeping bricks of gold under your bed, you’re probably not prepared. Try tucking away a few dollars each month and see where it gets you. Anything will be useful when Russia invades and suddenly you have to start paying $45 for a shitty bottle of wine.

What to Look Out For

You know how bugs are attracted to bright lights? Yeah, so are shitty people from your past. Be ready for old flames/friends/enemies to make an appearance this month while you’re busy living your best life. The good news is, they’ll see you thriving and better than ever. The bad news? You’ll probably have to speak to them. Make sure you’re looking good at all times, because you’ll never know when an adversary will strike. The best revenge is acting like you’re having the best possible time, no matter how hungover you are. Godspeed, Taurus. We know you can do it.

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