If 2020 has been anything, it’s certainly the year of influencers behaving badly. I mean, not that they haven’t behaved badly in other years, but something about a worldwide pandemic just brings out the worst in these people. On Tuesday night, YouTuber Nikita Dragun threw an “insane surprise party” for her friend Larray, also a YouTuber. The party was held at the infamous Hype House, which is essentially the Buckingham Palace of the TikTok community. Photos and videos from the party—posted publicly on social media—show an indoor area packed with people, none of whom are wearing masks or making any attempt at social distancing. In addition, paparazzi videos from outside the Hype House show a crowd of people waiting to get inside, also not wearing masks.

In the state of California, current public health regulations “prohibit professional, social and community gatherings,” defined as “events that bring together persons from multiple households at the same time for a shared or group experience in a single room.” Additionally, the CDC advises that if such gatherings are taking place, they should be held outside, and attendees should social distance and wear face coverings. Watch Nikita Dragun’s video, and see if any of these rules are being followed:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

happy birthday bestfriend 🎂 @larray doesn’t like to celebrate his bday so i decided to throw him the most insane surprise party ever… nikita style ! he literally is a light in everyones life . always making u laugh and feel good even on ur worse days . friend thank u so much from the bottom of my plastic heart… i was at a low point when i met u and u showed me true friendship , loyalty , and love . i had to go all out for u and something tells me u had a good time 😉 love u so much xo shoutout to @wifeoftheparty yet another iconic party <3

A post shared by Nikita 🐉 (@nikitadragun) on Jul 22, 2020 at 3:00pm PDT

The guest list at the party was a who’s who of Gen-Z celebs, including TikTok queen Charli D’Amelio and her sister Dixie, who are apparently still allowed at the Hype House despite their messy split from the group earlier this year. Charli showed up at the party soon after having a nose job, because nothing says “surgery recovery” like getting exposed to a deadly respiratory virus, I guess. Also in attendance were Tana Mongeau and James Charles, which is zero percent surprising. Whenever there’s an opportunity to get canceled, you can always count on James and Tana to be involved.

Clearly, no one felt too guilty about being at this party, because it was plastered all over social media. In the past few months, we’ve seen a lot of people trying to cover up their problematic tracks on Instagram, but Larray’s party was completely out in the open. And given the whole COVID situation, it didn’t take long for people to voice their concerns about the whole mess. Most notably, fellow YouTuber Tyler Oakley slammed the party on Twitter, saying, “if your favorite influencers are at huge house parties during a pandemic (& are dumb enough to post it on social media)… they are bad influences. unfollow them.” He tagged several of the influencers in question, suggesting that they take more precautions and use their platforms to “encourage responsibility during a worldwide pandemic.”

hi @jamescharles @NikitaDragun @tanamongeau @larrayxo @charlidamelio @dixiedamelio & any others who have been partying in large groups – please consider social distancing, mask wearing, & using your huge platforms to encourage responsibility during a worldwide pandemic. https://t.co/G3CeWfk3uZ

— tyler oakley (@tyleroakley) July 22, 2020

These influencers aren’t the only ones making questionable decisions about events amidst the pandemic. Last month, R&B artist Teyana Taylor was criticized for hosting a star-studded album release party, where guests were given custom hazmat suits and masks. I don’t know how smart that is in reality, but at least the masks were provided. But photos from the party showed a densely packed room, with many celebrities (including Cardi B) not wearing their masks. Taylor claimed the party was “extremely safe,” but the photos make that hard to believe. And in even more bizarre news, people in numerous states have been caught having coronavirus parties, with the specific purpose of getting infected.

For some reason, people seem to have a more relaxed attitude about social gatherings than they did a few months ago, but especially in Los Angeles, now is really not the time. This week, California overtook New York as the state with the highest total number of confirmed cases, and their daily case numbers have more than doubled in the last month. And even if our influencer friends aren’t analyzing the statistics, they must have noticed that California’s reopening plan has come to a screeching halt. Bars and restaurants have recently closed again, along with gyms, salons, and basically any business that requires you to be indoors with other people.

So, if you’re in LA (or honestly anywhere) right now, this probably isn’t the best time to be throwing any indoor surprise parties, and it certainly isn’t the time to be blasting your irresponsible choices on social media. Why are influencers like this!!

Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com; nikitadragun, jamescharles / Instagram; tyleroakley / Twitter

After all we’ve been through together, 2019 wouldn’t truly be complete without one more Tana Mongeau update, would it? When the year started, Tana was best known to us as Bella Thorne’s girlfriend, and then things got confusing when she started flirting with Miley Cyrus on social media. But of course, the highlight of Tana’s thirsty 2019 was her abrupt engagement and fake marriage to fellow YouTube star Jake Paul. Over the summer, we watched in horror as they shoved their alleged love in our faces all over the internet, all the while wondering when this nightmare of a PR stunt would come to an end.

Well, after six months of waiting patiently forgetting that these people exist, Tana put out a video on Sunday talking all about how she’s—wait for it—not that happy! If you can’t see the look of shock on my face through the computer screen, that’s because there is no look of shock on my face. Literally no one thought this relationship would work out, but it’s still interesting to hear Tana open up about some of the specifics. Her video, which has the appropriately dramatic title “the truth about everything,” is 40 minutes long, so I really don’t expect you to watch it, but I’ll go over some of the biggest points.

To start, Tana filmed this video after taking a two-day “break” from social media. She acknowledges that this is a short break, but I would probably classify it as “not a break at all.” Like, I was just home for the holidays, and I practically went two days without going on social media without really trying. Anyway, Tana spends the entire video lying in bed, facing the camera sideways. I was going to make fun of her for this, but then I realized that this is literally what I look like when I’m working from home. That’s right guys, I’m currently horizontal. Props to Tana for not sitting up.

Tana opens the video by talking a little about her f*cked up past, which I don’t know the details of, because she covered that in another way-too-long video that I’m not going to watch. Then, she gets into how she started talking to Jake Paul, which sounds like the plot of a twisted rom-com where the main woman just kind of sucks. Basically, she was super in love with one guy, and then she started dating a different guy so she could “fall out of love with” the first guy, and then while she was dating the second guy, she was texting Jake the whole time. If that means nothing to you, Jake was pretty much the side-piece during a rebound. Sounds healthy!

Tana says that lots of people warned her about Jake’s problematic reputation, but explains that she was actually more attracted to that, probably because she’s also problematic AF. She says that she and Jake “have gone through so much of the same sh*t that I wanted to be the one to like, save him.” Oh honey, rule number one of dating f*cked-up guys is that you can never save them. It’s a waste of time. In the video, she literally says “Jake could kill my whole family and I’d still love him,” which is exactly the energy we’re NOT taking into 2020.

After Tana and Brad broke up “over weekend two of Coachella” (yikes), she and Jake started hooking up, but kept it on the down-low until people recognized Jake’s bed in one of her photos. For like two seconds, she makes it seem like she was sad people found out, but then she starts talking about how much she loved being swept up in the world of Jake Paul. She claims that she never actually cared about clout, which I feel like is a blatant lie, because why else would their wedding or literally any of this right now be happening.

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bet you didn’t think we’d be engaged for this long… #ThePauls 🖤

A post shared by tanamongeau (@tanamongeau) on Jul 9, 2019 at 3:29pm PDT

As for the wedding, Tana says that “the wedding sh*t literally started as a joke,” but then they both just kept going with it. Okay, this is the first believable thing Tana has said yet. She says that she ignored any and all red flags, and that the wedding night was “hell” for her, because her dad had a stroke. She also says that she was angry about the infamous wedding livestream, but she went along with it because Jake wanted it.

Obviously Jake and Tana were doomed from the beginning, but it sounds like the biggest single problem was their lack of communication about what their open relationship meant. Tana says she was envisioning a chill arrangement where the both might hook up with someone else occasionally, but Jake took it as “him still being able to have sex with a new bitch every night.” And I OOP. Open relationships can be great, but those are two very different ideas, and in general, if you go into an open relationship just assuming sh*t and don’t clearly define your boundaries, you are setting yourself up to fail. So, again, not surprised about this. It didn’t help matters that Jake was seen hanging out with his ex, Erika Costell, which Tana apparently found out about on Twitter. Anddddd it just keeps getting worse.

Tana rambles on about some other topics in the video, but we never really get clarity on what’s happening between her and Jake right now. She doesn’t say that they’re broken up, but she does talk about a lot of this stuff in the past tense, and also says that they don’t “ever want to hate each other.” Yeah, that doesn’t make it sound like things are in an especially good place. We’ll have to wait for an official announcement to call a time of death on this relationship, but six months feels like pretty much what we expected.

Images: Tana Mongeau / YouTube; tanamongeau / Instagram

Another day, another celebrity delusionally telling themselves that the picture they post on Instagram is what they *really* look like. Tana Mongeau is an open Facetune offender. I mean, at least she admits it. But I still think it’s super toxic to edit your photos so much and project this scary, sex doll image. I mean, aren’t most of her fans teenagers? This is what they think women are supposed to look like? It’s just icky. I’m not against photo-editing, but Tana really just takes it way too far. Why even post pictures when that isn’t even what you look like? Also, it’s unclear what Tana actually does or why people watch her. Are any of you guys fans of hers? Please explain in the comments. Every time I see anything about her I just go, “Oh honey, no.” Tana seems needs Jesus and possibly Oprah.

So Tana was at the People’s Choice Awards (again I ask, really? Who invited her? Why?) and there were a lot of paparazzi photos taken. So Tana took a few of these photos and decided to um, enhance them, in her eyes. Also known as copy-and-pasted an entirely new face on herself.

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not THE people’s choice but SOME people’s choice so that’s cool

A post shared by tanamongeau (@tanamongeau) on Nov 11, 2019 at 3:48pm PST

Okay, Tana. Sure, Tana. That’s what you look like. Also, I REALLY LIKE how those candy wax lips we wore as a joke as children are now what’s considered attractive. Tell me Tana is not just wearing Wacko Wax lips. I mean, honestly.

Look, I just stuck the Wacko lips on her instead.

I see no difference.

Okay, so short list on this photo, she’s insanely airbrushed, her eyes are blown TF up, her makeup is pasted on, all her proportions are warped, and her nose looks super weird. Also, most notably, she doesn’t look anything like what the real-life Tana Mongeau looks like. That’s probably the biggest giveaway for an edited photo: when it doesn’t even look like your face.

But before the five people in the comments that are 14 years old and actually like her try to lay into me like, “it’s the lighting, she does look like this”, I have news for you. Unfortunately for Tana, she seems to forget that Getty Images are PUBLICLY ACCESSIBLE. Meaning you can just look up any pap photos. For free. Unedited. (Now, you can’t legally download them unless you have a membership, but thankfully, we do.) Unless of course you’re the Kardashians, and pay the paparazzi to pre-edit your photos. But Tana apparently does not do this.

Exhibit A:

The best part is that her lips are still unfortunate. But the rest of her looks great! Like a pretty, human girl. Some of her edits she could just change in real life—okay, just wear darker eye makeup at the next event to make your eyes look bigger. Get your brows microbladed if you want them thicker. I just got my eyebrows microbladed as pre-chemo prep and they look amazing, could not recommend higher if you have sparse brows. But what is with the entire new head/face/eye color? Why give herself an entirely new jawline? It’s like how James Charles always gives himself a blockhead on purpose. Children, what is you doing?

The differences here are very obvious, but here you are anyway:

I mean.

And she even removed her ribs and shoulder. Look guys, we all have insecurities, but things like your jawline, your face shape, your weight, your eye color… these are what make you look like you. You can’t give yourself a new head and be like “IT’S ME! I’M SO PRETTY!” It just does not work that way. And it really just makes you look sad.

To sum up: don’t give yourself a brand-new head and call it an edit. Microblading looks amazing and is a good decision if your brows suck or you’re about to be bald from cancer treatment. You should not be looking to Tana Mongeau for inspiration or self-esteem.

And now, a lesson in why people suck and celebrities feel forced to edit the sh*t out of themselves in the first place:

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Oh how far we’ve come. #CommentsByCelebs

A post shared by Comments By Bravo (@commentsbybravo) on Nov 20, 2019 at 11:58am PST

Someone attacked Queen Nastassia Bianca Schroeder for having… feet? Apparently Stassi’s feet look too old, according to a fan. Wtf is wrong with people? It’s not enough to have unattainable beauty standards for our faces, torsos, butts, boobs, etc… now we have to worry about our feet? Stassi’s comment was the best, though—but really, do they expect her to Photoshop her feet? Everyone needs to lay off picking apart what celebs actually look like without all these crazy filters and edits. This sh*t right here is why we’ve shifted to such a gross overly edited culture. We need to embrace people for showing their actual looks. Also, it’s just her feet and they look like feet! I mean, F*CK OFF, people.

What do you think of celebrities that just smack on a new head on their photos? Do you appreciate us calling out the fakeness of the editing we all see on social media? Does it encourage you to edit less when you can see how obvious/bad it looks? Would you ever edit your feet? WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE TANA MONGEAU? LMK!

Images: Getty Images; tanamongeau, commentsbybravo / Instagram

A couple weeks ago, news of Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau’s engagement ripped through the internet like the world’s thirstiest tornado. Of course, it had to happen on the one week of the year I’ve been out of the office, so I wasn’t around to report on the initial fallout, but luckily this sh*tshow is still going strong. Even though we all still have our doubts that this relationship is truly legit, these two are in it for the long haul (or at least the long con).

Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau wasted no time creating content to cash in on their relationship, including a whole set of JANA merch. Yes, that was the sound of me screaming into the void. It’s fine, I’m fine. Yesterday, Jake and Tana took another step toward proving their relationship is legit, in the form of a classic engagement photo shoot. Even though it’s physically impossible for me to not roll my eyes at everything they do, I can’t really be mad at this. Basically everyone does engagement photos, so it was a natural next step for these two pinnacles of thirst.

Here’s Jake Paul’s post with a bunch of the photos.

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shane dawson made this possible #engaged #inlove

A post shared by Jake Paul (@jakepaul) on Jul 9, 2019 at 3:20pm PDT

The photos are pretty tasteful in general, at least as much as we can expect from someone who did a naked photoshoot for her 21st birthday last month. Jake’s dog Thor is very cute, but I’m curious why his other dog, Moo, wasn’t included in the photos. Maybe he was at the groomer’s that day, or maybe he doesn’t think this relationship is real either.

Here’s Tana’s post with more photos:

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bet you didn’t think we’d be engaged for this long… #ThePauls ?

A post shared by tanamongeau (@tanamongeau) on Jul 9, 2019 at 3:29pm PDT

Okay, I do have to say that those rings are beautiful. There have been rumors that Tana’s engagement ring might not be a real diamond, but I’m not going to pretend to be a gem expert. But the rings in this photo also got people talking about whether or not Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau might already be married. I need to sit down for a second, these two are giving me whiplash again.

Between the ring situation and Jake’s location tag of “MarriageToday,” people quickly began to wonder if there was a surprise wedding happening. Of course, I don’t know anything for sure, but I’m fairly confident that this isn’t a thing, mainly because both of their captions directly refer to their engagement. These idiots might not have the best judgment, but I’m hoping that they’re at least smart enough not to get married only a couple months into their relationship. Even as I was typing that sentence, I realized that I might be giving them too much credit.

Whatever, I’m standing my by gut instinct, I don’t think they’re married.

Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau are all about love and light these days, but the news of their engagement was emotional for Bella Thorne, who dated Tana until earlier this year. On the day the news broke, she posted these selfies to her finsta.

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When ur ex gets engaged ???????????????????????????????????

A post shared by Thatweirdbitchbella (@thatweirdbitchbella) on Jun 24, 2019 at 4:14pm PDT

In a subsequent post for Tana’s birthday, Bella seemed very supportive, but it’s still been a tough couple months for her, with the drama surrounding her breakup with Mod Sun, and the scandal that ended with her leaking her own nudes and feuding with Whoopi Goldberg.

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Through thick and thin?? I love you tana happy bday you beautiful beautiful special girl

A post shared by BELLA (@bellathorne) on Jun 24, 2019 at 11:34am PDT

Tana commented “i love u forever and ever” on this photo, so it seems like everything is good between the two of them. As crazy as Tana is, it makes me happy that their friendship is intact after everything they’ve been through together.

So for now, I feel fairly confident that Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau aren’t married, but literally anything could happen with these two. We’ll be patiently waiting for the next updates about their relationship, but knowing them, we probably won’t have to actually be that patient.

Images: jakepaul, tanamongeau (2), thatweirdbitchbella, bellathorne / Instagram

This week, I had to dive deep. I wanted to show something a little different than just a messy airbrush and body cutout job. Some of these influencers are real Photoshop pros—in fact, you’d have to possess a thorough understanding of anatomy to see how it’s not possible, because their edits are so seamless and don’t leave traces, like warped walls. Some of them.

And then, I bring you Tana Mongeau.

Who, btw, I have no idea who she is, except for this recent article about Bella Thorne, who she apparently was in a throuple with. I also know nothing of Bella Thorne, except that every photo I see of her, I feel like I can smell her. I don’t mean that in a nice way.

According to Google, Tana is Youtube famous? IDK.

But I found this photo of her.

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living in a dream no nightmares

A post shared by tanamongeau (@tanamongeau) on Mar 2, 2018 at 4:54pm PST

This is a super hot photo and v typical for influencers of any kind. (Are Youtubers the same as influencers? Children, I need you to educate me.) I WISH I could take a decent bikini photo, but as you’ll see in my upcoming article where I edit the f*ck out of my own body to show you how stupidly easy it is, I always look weird. It’s like every angle is my unflattering angle. YOU’LL SEE.

But really, though, how do you get the perfect back arch, look thin, have your face look pretty, etc? All in one photo? How many tries does this take? Who is taking this photo? What kind of patience do they have?

However, this is a pretty good edit. PRETTY good. Professional for sure. There are no major “tells” that I can see. The shadow is believable, which is often a huge giveaway. But what really told me this is bullsh*t, aside from the “too perfect”ness of it all, are the legs/ass. That is a really small yet bubbly ass for her body. And same with her thighs, especially compared to the very warped and huge calves/feet! COULD it be the water warping it? Yes, absolutely. But the water could literally do almost anything. You’re telling me that by sheer coincidence, the water that made her monstrous calves the size of her waist, also gave her a teensy but shapely ass and little dancer thighs? How convenient.

I’m going to call bull. And now that we’re looking for “tells”, most of her body has blurry edges, especially around the stomach, chest, and upper (but not lower) arm. Now, as you’ll remember from previous articles, blurring happens when you erase with the airbrush tool, or if you move lines by transforming or smudging. COULD it be the lighting? Maybe. Her thigh also seems warped, like it’s bent in at a strange angle. Again, could be the water.

But then I found this.

God Bless Reddit, everyone. This a *REAL* photo of Tana with a fan in the same suit. Now, she’s not as posed/sucking in as anyone who takes a bikini pic would be. But she is significantly a different size IRL. The suit doesn’t look like it even fits. She also has the exact opposite butt as advertised. There is no angle that would make those thighs look so teensy. Thick thighs are in, anyway! She’s also got a way larger chest in the edited picture.

The reason I’m showing you this is so you know that influencer/celeb bodies are not as they seem on social media. Almost ALL of her photos are edited like this, with a pretend body that isn’t even hers. I will say that the photo on the right is super unflattering, and I’m sure in real life, she looks like a normal, thin girl. So why do the scary skinny and warped proportions to make you look like a different person? More women need to own their true bodies. I’m sure the original photo would have been hot AF, too, she just wouldn’t have crazy unrealistic proportions! Hey Tana? You don’t need to post fake thirst trap photos. Men will f*ck literally anything.

Does this surprise you about Tana? When you see influencer photos like this, do you believe it’s their real bodies? LMK in the comments!

Images: Tana Mongeau / Instagram

As a dedicated follower of Bella Thorne’s crazy life, I don’t like to go too long without writing about her. Luckily, the drama in her world basically never stops, and here we are again. Bella Thorne and Mod Sun  broke up earlier this year (the smell is still lingering), but her Instagram announcing the split made it seem like things ended on good terms. Alas, all good things must come to an end. Now Bella and Mod are feuding on Twitter, and this is one of the most important things that’s ever happened to me.

It all began on Tuesday night, when Mod Sun spoke to TooFab. He told them that things are going great for him and he’s 17 days sober, which is amazing, but then he kinda ruined the good vibes by talking about Bella Thorne. He said that a bunch of her stuff is still in his storage unit, and if she doesn’t come pick it up soon, he’s “gonna have a really, really poppin’ e-Bay site.” Yikes. He didn’t help matters when he posted the story on his own Twitter page:

Obviously joking but I’m kinda funny tho ? https://t.co/S3MmesPz9k

— new song out now (@MODSUN) May 29, 2019

Okay, so I don’t really doubt that he was joking. It would be pretty sh*tty of anyone to sell their ex’s stuff on eBay, and the fact that she’s famous would only make it worse. But that’s the exact reason why he shouldn’t even be joking about this. He knows that Bella Thorne is way more famous than him, so if he brings her up when talking to the tabloids, he’s bound to get some attention. It would be just as easy for him to say “no comment” and move on.

Bella Thorne had pretty much exactly the same thought, and brought some serious tea when she called Mod out on Twitter.

Awww looks like moddy really wants some press. #hungry also didn’t u call the cops on me when I wanted my computer? U pussy. https://t.co/dNjxmoKT2A

— BITCHIMBELLATHORNE (@bellathorne) May 29, 2019

In case she deletes this, here’s what the tweet says: “Awww looks like moddy really wants some press. #hungry also didn’t u call the cops on me when I wanted my computer? U pussy.”

Let’s all take a minute to process this beautiful, beautiful tweet. This is a savage move on Bella’s part, and I honestly love it. These two obviously both have their fair share of issues, but I will always support a woman calling out a man’s bullsh*t. But then Mod Sun responded, suggesting that Bella may have left some important details out of her clap back.

Well u came over uninvited. 24 hours after we broke up, Thru the backdoor. I wasn’t at the house to see what u were gonna take + to be honest bella…ur not the most trustworthy person. I’ve also told u 6 times since let’s SWAP each other’s stuff but which u refuse to gather mine

— new song out now (@MODSUN) May 29, 2019

Here’s the tweet, again, in case it gets deleted: “Well u came over uninvited. 24 hours after we broke up, Thru the backdoor. I wasn’t at the house to see what u were gonna take + to be honest bella…ur not the most trustworthy person. I’ve also told u 6 times since let’s SWAP each other’s stuff but which u refuse to gather mine”

Oof. I’m not going to try to figure out who’s telling the truth re: coming over to pick up the computer, but this is undeniably messy. It also makes me seriously question Bella’s breakup Instagram that made it seem like they were still friends, because generally speaking, friends don’t call the cops on each other. Or tweet about each other’s dirty laundry.

I’m also enjoying the mental image of Bella Thorne refusing to put together a bin of Mod Sun’s stuff at her h0use after him asking six times, especially when she could literally just pay someone to do it. I would sign up to be a Taskrabbit and fly all the way to LA if it meant I could spend a few hours in Bella Thorne’s house putting Mod Sun’s dirty underwear into a trash bag. SIGN ME UP.

Obviously, Bella and Mod have their issues that they need to work out, but doing things publicly on Twitter invites a lot of outside opinions. Enter: Tana Mongeau, YouTube’s resident thirst master general, and Bella’s ex-girlfriend. I’ll never 100% understand the dynamics between Tana, Mod, and Bella Thorne, but it’s 0% surprising that Tana felt the need to insert herself in this drama.

the love u have for eachother to take this to socials and press legit breaks my heart y’all

— ‘FACETIME’ MUSIC VIDEO OUT NOW (@tanamongeau) May 30, 2019

First, let’s take a moment to admire that BOTH of them have currently changed their Twitter names to promo for their new songs. It’s really a beautiful symbol of the what the internet is like in 2019. I don’t really have much to say about Tana’s message, because it really adds nothing to the conversation here. If anything, if she really was legit heartbroken over this, couldn’t she have texted/called/written a letter to Bella and/or Mod privately? Maybe she’s blocked, but it doesn’t seem like she’s really trying to calm things down.

This feud is the only thing getting me through today, so I’ll be eagerly waiting for more shady tweets from Bella Thorne and/or Mod Sun and/or Tana Mongeau. I live for these creatures of the internet, and they’ll really never stop being messy. God bless.

Images: Shutterstock; @modsun (2), @bellathorne, @tanamongeau / Twitter

It’s 2019, and you would think we would have made so much progress by now, but instead, it’s the era where shameless idiots reign supreme. Donald Trump is president, and I honestly do not even know where to begin with listing off all the stupid sh*t he believes. People are legit buying their way into the most prestigious colleges, even though their vapid, apathetic kids have no business being there. And last, but not least, we have social media influencers. Being a social media personality is the easiest job of all time, and they’re totally taking over all facets of media. They even have a reality show for becoming an influencer—it’s called The Bachelor! There are literally no prerequisites for the job—you don’t even have to be charismatic or attractive. All you need are apps to make you pretty, a robot army of followers, and the incessant yearning for attention. And yet these influencers continue to f*ck up their jobs time and time again. Let’s take a look at the some of the biggest influencer scandals and f*ck-ups that have played out on the ‘Gram. Let’s also pray that John Mayer never makes this list because he’s the only reason to keep our social media active anymore.

TanaCon

So apparently there are people out there who will spend their time and money to attend conventions to meet influencers and YouTubers. I mean, I’m someone who has been entertained by the weirdest corners of the internet, from crazy comments in the PornHub comment section to photoshopped images of Guy Fieri as a Renaissance baby, and even I don’t get the appeal of YouTubers. In any case, Bella Thorne’s ex-girlfriend was supposed to show face at TanaCon, which was an actual convention named after her that people willingly bought tickets to.

Long story short, TanaCon was a sh*t show. Her fans waited outside in the heat for hours without water, shade, or food, and Tana blamed other people for not being able to pull off the convention. First off, Postmates will deliver to literally anywhere, guys, so starvation and dehydration were totally avoidable. Just saying. Maybe it’s because the amount of antidepressants I’m prescribed have numbed me from feeling anything anymore, or maybe it’s because I have two brain cells to rub together, but I don’t have much sympathy for someone who waited on line for a female Jake Paul. And second off, I’m still not convinced being a YouTuber is a job, so are we really shocked that Tana couldn’t pull off doing something that was actually—wait for it—an important responsibility? I’m sorry, but what would these people have done at TanaCon to begin with? How is this interesting? Am I too old to understand this sh*t? Do I need to start getting preventative Botox?

Essena O’Neill

Essena O’Neill was a tiny (duh) blonde (duh) vegan (duh) Australian (duh) who got hundreds of thousands of followers for being tiny, blonde, vegan, and Australian. She perfected the science of carefully crafted smoothie bowls that were more detailed than the ceiling of the Sistine chapel, she mastered FaceTune, and she made fake laughing an art form. Then she shocked everyone when she decided to get super preachy and write in her captions about how f*cking fake her Instagram is. I know sh*tting on vegans is as played out of a joke as Nickleback being terrible or girls always going to the bathroom together, but leave it to a vegan to preach. However, I do appreciate these captions and they’re way better than ones pretending to be “profound.” Like, the Buddha did not sit under a tree for 40 days for you to use his quotes as a caption for a picture of you sticking out your nonexistent ass. So while this isn’t a scandal in the same realm as TanaCon or some of the others on this list, within the influencer world, it was a BFG to have such a big influencer come out and admit everything is bullsh*t. In any case, it was refreshing to see authenticity in an otherwise totally fake space. Essena wasn’t telling us anything we don’t already know, but it was still nice to hear her own up to her sh*t.

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NOT REAL LIFE – took over 100 in similar poses trying to make my stomach look good. Would have hardly eaten that day. Would have yelled at my little sister to keep taking them until I was somewhat proud of this. Yep so totally #goals #gamechangers #socialmediaisnotreal #socialmedia #bethechange #movement #essenaoneill

A post shared by Essena Oneill ??? (@essena.oneiil) on Nov 3, 2015 at 9:03pm PST

Fake Sponsored Content

For my job, I’ve gotten pretty good at observing social media patterns enough to know who has fake followers and fake body parts. I would say all influencers are full of sh*t, but we know that’s not the case because that FitTea runs riiiight through ’em. But they do do (sorry) very phony things. I even once saw an internet personality create a fake Wikipedia page for herself, post it to her social media, and pretend like a fan did it for her when it was clearly her that did it. LOL nice try, but just like the knock-off designer clothes you’re selling me, I ain’t buying it. But there’s one crazy strategy that even I didn’t notice: fake sponsored content. These people will legit post pictures of items they bought, pretend they were sent them for free, and frame  their posts as ads. Every day we stray further from God’s light. I’m not going to lie, having fake sponsors would trick even me into thinking that an influencer is somewhat legit, as long as it’s not a shady protein shake or fit tea. Honestly, I’m not even mad about this one—I’m impressed. These people really take the “fake it til you make it” mantra pretty seriously, huh?

this girl I know really had a sponcon themed bday party. wow what an example of fake it til u make it.

— Jessica Jacolbe (@jessjoycej) April 30, 2018

Alexis Ren vs. Jay Alvarrez

Alexis Ren and Jay Alvarrez captured America’s hearts because they’re extremely attractive and Jay Alvarrez’s helicopter acted as a luxury bang bus to tour the entire world. They shocked our nation when they broke up, because we all thought that the foundation of every healthy relationship is being really, really ridiculously good-looking. Alexis and Jay kept their breakup pretty private at first by simply deleting all the evidence of their relationship on their Instagrams (as you do). BTW, that was like, 80% of their Instagram grids. But then, like most breakups, it got ugly.

Jay would later take not-so-subtle shots at Alexis, saying all she cared about is fame, looks, and materialism, even though he probably has more words for “private jet” than Lala Kent does. Alexis finally (and very publicly) went through the stages of a breakup: changing her hair color, getting tiny tattoos that “mean something” (a gun tattoo on your finger is something you will inevitably regret, Lex), and going on a Twitter tirade that ended with her saying Jay has a small d*ck. Why oh why is it the go-to insult for girls to say a guy has a small d*ck? Size. Doesn’t. Matter. A worse way to insult a guy’s manhood is to insult his technique—not size. I digress (slightly). Alexis later alluded to the fact that he was actually a really unhealthy person to be in a relationship with and was rather emotionally abusive, specifically when it came to her weight. So snaps for Alexis for overcoming a POS guy that everyone else dubbed the “dream boyfriend.”

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No couple can be as perfect as this! #goals ?❤️

A post shared by Alexis Ren and Jay Alvarrez (@alexisandjay_goals) on Mar 29, 2015 at 1:39pm PDT

Jack Wagner’s Wall Experiment

Jack Wagner is like a raccoon that digs around the bottomless pit of trash that is the internet to create incredible content. Between his one-sided bromance with Dan Bilzerian to his recent excavation of Meghan McCain’s painfully awkward tweets, he is the ultimate follow on social media. So Jack Wagner created the best social experiment since Timmy Thicc (which is another subject worth the deep dive): he created an Instagrammable mural that was only available to pose in front of if you have 20,000 followers on social media. He even went as far as hiring a security guard who told a father and his young daughter that they couldn’t snap a pic because they just barely missed 20k followers. Even legit famous actors fell for this prank and showed face to take fake candids. Talk about try-hard. It’s not even a cool mural. It looks like a doodle drawn by some chick that listens to Iggy Azaelea and shoplifts from Forever 21. Wagner alluded that the wall was meant to be a prank/piece of performance art, but people took it seriously, so… was it really?

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very exciting day today folks. to celebrate the upcoming release of my new show @likeandsubscribe we created a beautiful instagramable mural designed specifically for influencers. influencers work so hard every day to curate beautiful feeds and inspire us all, we wanted to make something specifically for them. most of the best murals in LA are already posted too often, which is why this mural is for verified influencers only (or people with over 20k followers). We even hired an armed security team to guard the mural this week to make sure only verified influencers are able to take photos with the mural. this is something i thought influencers would appreciate but unfortunately a lot of them got very mad at this and only had bad things to say. we wanted this mural to capture the themes of positive vibes and love, apparently some people dont have enough of that in their lives. this mural is not about excluding anyone. we put alot of work into making this mural great and we just wanted to showcase it in the most curated way possible. great painters pick the best possible canvas for their masterpieces, we are doing the exact same thing but with accounts. if banksy were alive today i feel like he would do the exact same thing.

A post shared by Jack Wagner (@versace_tamagotchi) on Jun 25, 2018 at 8:45pm PDT

Images: Simon Hajducki / Unsplash; versace_tamagotchi, alexisandjay_goals, essena.oneill / Instagram; jessjoycej / Twitter; Giphy