Attending a music festival at least once in your life is about as mandatory as leaving your motherland at least once. You just have to do it because as a wise Wiz Khalifa once said, we are young, wild, and free. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if you considered getting that as a tattoo. Drinking in excess, deafening music, and eating overpriced food are a betch’s top three fave things. So, when you put them all together on a remote island in NYC for a Coachella knockoff or in the middle of Chicago, us basic bitches everywhere are going to unite. This means we’re naturally stressing over what the fuck we’re going to wear because festival attire requires a combo of hippie Vanessa Hudgens and chill Kendall Jenner. We’re not showing up looking like rave sluts in pink fishnets and cheap thongs (God, no. Make it stop). Nor are we going to Forever21 and grabbing the most plain high waisted shorts and crop tank. Nailing the boho chic aesthetic requires versatile staples, slightly confusing detailing, and bold accessories that won’t get you accused of cultural appropriation. Whether you’re going to Lollapalooza this weekend or prepping for Outside Lands, here are boho chic essentials for an outfit to make your friends envy your trendy ways.
It’s going to get hot and sweaty real quick so an ivory bodysuit is the perf go-to for an instant
sexual free-spirited look. In addition to the lace detailing on this one, the front has two brass bars that gives off a boho twist. With the last month of summer upon us, your tan will look so much better in all of your Snapchats.
Well, no shit. Obvs plan on wearing ripped high-waisted shorts because you just like, have to for a festival. These are a little cheeky but they provide enough coverage so you’re not mooning every person who dances behind you. Ain’t nobody want to see that shit anyway.
With hippie trends during festival season come complicated strappy shoes that take up the time you should spend pregaming instead. These are cute af so you’ll have to suck it up. You’ll want a flat shoe that’s comfortable to last all day in, especially since you’ll be standing and dancing for hours. This style comes in three neutral colors, but a caramel shade is ideal for summery western vibez.
Boho chic pieces come in vivid colors and mixed patterns so if you mix and match too much at once, you’ll just look like you got ready while you were blackout (which you may very well have been, but you don’t want anyone to know that necessarily). Keeping neutral tones together is what really keeps it Insta-worthy, so before you make your posse take a picture of you on your good side, match your shoes and bag for a balanced look. Find a cross body that’s big enough for at least your phone, sunglasses, possibly a
flask small water bottle, and then some.
Any plunging neckline needs bling to fill up the space and bring more unnecessary attention to your cleavage because you worked hard to make it look good. Find minimalist charms like this set for a unique delicate style even if you could care less about the fucking solar system.
Straight from Free People’s festival shop (which is like, straight fire BTW), this arm cuff is the perf addition for a fashion-forward accessory that makes you look both v artsy and trendy. The armbands are adjustable so you can totally use it to your advantage and make your arms look toned AF or hide embarrassing farmer tans. IDK if our ancestors from Woodstock would be necessarily proud, but I feel like the Queen of Coachella aka Vanessa would be, which comes pretty close.
I’m not a fan of Gigi’s mustard sunglasses and honestly, not everyone looks good in Ozzy Osbourne’s circle sunnies, so I give the holographic frame a solid 10/10 for must-have festival shades. The trippy rose gold will hide your drunk eyes and def look fab on every basic betch who already has everything in the pink metal. Since the frames are kinda trippy, you’ll probs entertain that one person in the crowd who clearly took way too many drugs for their own good. “Omg duuude, those are sick. Can I try them on?!” Let’s not but, say we did?
Well, it’s officially August which means we’re headed into the dog days of summer—a time when we cram as much day drinking and rooftop bar hopping as possible into the next 4 weeks. Once September hits, we become recluses that live our best lives on the couch and Instagram eat everything that comes in pumpkin. We’ll immediately put away the sandals and bring out our over-the-knee boots, and fold away our shorts in hopes that last year’s skinny jeans still fit even though we drank our weight in alcohol and didn’t go to a gym once this summer. The good part is that a season’s beginning = new trends aka more shopping, so you’ll handle change the only way you know how: retail therapy, obviously. Whether you’re prepping for weekly blackouts at frat parties or planning to be productive (for once) at work, shop these transitional accessories to take your mind from summertime sadness to Uggs, pumpkin spice, and everything BWG (basic white girl, DUH).
1. 8 Other Reasons Athena Earrings
Expensive white gold hoops were summer’s thing this year (it was so sad) but now that summer is almost over, that shit is (thankfully) being put to a halt. Fall will be about big bold earrings that take up the entire side of your face so opt for a dainty long pair that takes away the attention from your double chin facial imperfections and can be worn down or dressed up to impress.
2. Burberry Printed Silk-Twill Scarf
Burberry and scarves are two things a betch will never leave her house without next season. Since it’ll be too warm for cashmere, find a lightweight silk scarf to dress up your blazer with. This one features color block triangles with neutral tones and the bright pop of red we’ll be seeing 24/7 soon. If choking yourself wearing scarves isn’t your thing, use it as a headband because boho chic isn’t over yet, or tie it on your bag, I guess. A for effort!!!
3. Anthropologie Braided Metallics Necklace
Since colder temps hit the east coast like a fucking brick wall, you probs won’t be that try-hard who’s still wearing plunging bodysuits come September. Unless you’re trying to call into work sick already, that is. Chokers were fun and all but similar to how much basic bitches love “Closer”, it’s overplayed and I’m sick of seeing them. Swap out shorter styles for long pendant-like necklaces that will go perf with any fall dress or plain button up shirt.
4. Vita Fede Ultra Mini Titan Crystal Band Ring
You can still collect stackable rings and look super trendy by wearing multiples, but go for a style that’s both semi-elegant and edgy. I like this one because when I’m dealing with one of my bouts of homicidal urges, I can just look at the pointy edges and contemplate the many ways I could inflict bodily harm on my enemies using just the ring on my finger. Just me?
5. Burberry Medium Lavenby Reversible Calfskin Leather Tote
Fall is the best excuse for a new bag to hold all your shit and hide the flask you may need to get you through the day. This large neutral tote has enough room for your laptop, meaningless papers, and everything else you carry with you at all times, but without sideswiping everyone you walk by. It’ll go with any outfit and put you in the all-work-no-play mood you wish you could maintain for more than like, two consecutive minutes.
6. Aldo Aressa Light Brown Women’s Open-Toe Heels
You won’t have to hide your v cute pedicure immediately with booties that easily transition your look from summer to autumn vibes. I’m honestly obsessed with these because they’re both block heel and open toe like my fave summer heels I ruined stumbling around every weekend. You can never have too many booties, IDC what anyone says. I need them in every color, so this pair is perfect for pairing with the T-shirt dress you’re not ready to give up or dark jeans come darker nights.
I love music festivals more than the average person. Any place with good music, drinks, and
slutty fashion-forward attire is like, my second home. I’ve honestly been to way too many to count, so I’m like, a pro. In a way, they’re as close to Survivor as I’ll get, being that they almost always take place on some island. Most venues are super strict with what you can bring in because NGL, a lot of idiots think these events are a great time to start a drug ring. Not only are you limited, but you don’t want to bring too much because who the hell wants to dance with a fucking backpack for hours, anyway? So, if you’ve ever been to one of these overpriced Coachella imitations, you know the only thing you could probs bring is your phone, sunglasses, and cash. Have to break a seal? Good thing you paid a million dollars for a germ-infested port-a-potty. Feeling dehydrated but don’t want to pay $20 for a water bottle? Sucks to suck. Since Panorama is literally this Friday, I’ve come up with a list of what to bring so you’re not feeling (or looking) like a hot mess all weekend.
1. A Small But Cute Crossbody
Chances are you can’t bring a big AF bag anyway so, you want a small trendy crossbody that’s comfortable to wear all day long and can also fit all your shit in it. The Rebecca Minkoff Mini Mac in Black has enough room to fit your phone and other must-have essentials. If you manage to keep it together all weekend, aka not lose this, you can even use this as your new going out bag.
2. Ear Plugs
By the time you leave, you will seriously be deaf. You’ll be screaming to your friends, thinking that it’s totally the normal volume. I’m telling you rn, it’s not. You will hear ringing for at least the next day or two so, try not to lose your sanity. If you still want to hear the crisp sounds of the music without possibly going deaf, consider packing small light ear plugs like DownBeats Reusable High Fidelity Hearing Protection Ear Plugs.
3. Portable Phone Charger
Your phone will die, or come very close, a whole fucking lot. So, Snapchatting excessively will seriously take a toll. Either cool it with the snaps because no one wants to watch your minute-long story anyway, or invest in a portable phone charger. The PhoneSuit Flex XT Pocket Lightning Charger is probs the smallest charger ever. You can use it with or without your Kate Spade case every time your battery runs low without missing the show.
4. Travel Size Emergency Kit
These fucking adorable and convenient kits are basically lifesavers in a bag you can buy. Find one that has all of the essentials you’ll need for any slight inconvenience. The Pinch Provisions Festival Aid Kit comes with travel size sunscreen, flushable wipes (BLESS), deodorant towelettes since you’ll most likely be roasting, and like, so much more. The company also has a bigger version with even more necessities including a rain poncho, tampon, and blister balm. If only they had one for my life (i.e, drunk text remover, blackout radar…etc.)
5. Refillable Water Bottle
If there’s anything you take away from this article that I spent too much time on for you to ignore, it’s that bringing a refillable water bottle is crucial. One, because you will be under the sun for long periods of time and if you’re drinking, you’ll probs forget to eat. Two, because why pay for water when most festivals have hydrating stations?! If you bring your used Fiji or Life water bottle, you’re more likely to lose it and/or toss it all together. Because lugging around a Camelbak doesn’t sound appealing either, opt for a que Bottle that collapses to half its size so you can tuck it away when you’re done.
It’s summer so naturally large bodies of water—be they natural or man-made, pool or ocean—are dotting our summer outings. But like, what if you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/fuckbuddy feel the need to get freaky? Is it safe? Will you get some kind of flesh eating bacteria? We did the dirty work (like, literally and not so literally) of looking to find the answers for you across the interwebs (and my phone probably has a virus from that video I accidentally watched). So before you, uh, get wet (SORRY) this summer, read our tips about pool sex for a healthy, safe, and hopefully fun time.
1. You Will Need Lube
Alright now that we’re all uncomfortable, let’s dive right into this shit. It may seem stupid, but being in or underwater can actually reduce your body’s natural lubrication system which makes sex, er, not awesome. Try a silicon-based lube to avoid chafing. Obviously any water-based lube isn’t going to work as it’ll wash off. And speaking of which…
2. You Can Still Get STDs
I’m not sure what idiot would think you CAN’T get an STD once you add water, but, surprise, you can. If you don’t use lube, your chances of STDs and STIs goes up, since the chances of (I’m really sorry this is gross) tears to your vaginal or anal wall are much greater. Yeah, I threw the anal in there for you freaks out there. Kisses. Just a note—if you’re planning on using a condom in the water (hooray for safe sex) it needs to be put on OUT of the water and taken off out of the water as well.
3. Don’t Trip
if you’ve ever had shower sex, you know that firm footing is imperative. Same goes for your hot tub or pool endeavor. Make sure you and your special water-time friend have firm footholds before all the lunging, pushing, shoving, wtf-ever. Obviously, when it comes to a pool, the shallow end is going to be the best spot for this. Take cover, children.
4. Infections Abound
Hey it’s everyone’s fav part of sex—infections! Unfortunately, having sex in ANY body of water (pool, hot tub, ocean, lake) puts you at risk for some super gross infections including our favs—yeastys and UTIs. So like, just know that going in. Maybe just try some foreplay in the pool, and take the dirty dirty inside where it’s clean and dry—like a kitchen counter!
5. Don’t Break The Law
Soooo if you weren’t aware, sex in any form in public is super illegal. So, keep the underwater banging to your own backyard, the pool of a frenemy, or the hot tub of his ex. Teehee!
READ: 8 Vagina Myths You Should Have Stopped Believing Like, Yesterday
New York fucking City is not only the best city in the entire U.S., but in the entire world. I’ll pretend like you didn’t already know that, though. If you live here, you know that putting up with a disgusting amount of man buns, rat-infested subways, and questionable drug pushers is all worth it because no other place will ever be good enough. If you don’t live here, then I know you wish you did—otherwise, you would’ve never applied to NYU for grad school to begin with. The city is home to rooftops you can simultaneously tan and blackout at (a betch’s two talents), Instagram-worthy food you won’t find anywhere else, and a shit ton of your favorite celebrities because all those songs about NYC aren’t just for nothing.
Whether you’re a true New Yorker or (annoying) tourist, I’m sure you think you’ve hit up plenty of boujee rooftops and overpriced festivals in the past few months but there’s only six weeks of this
life-threatening heat wave summer left. It’s time to really amp up the crucial areas of your life (social, sex, Instagram) with the most perfect (and only) summer bucket list you’ll need. Realistically, if you’re seriously bored in New York City, then it’s your own goddamn fault.
^^^ Literally every time someone gets kicked out of a bar in the city.
1. Watch An Outdoor Movie With A View
Since suburbs or anything resembling John Deere-obsessed hicks are a foreign concept to those of us who are only outdoorsy in the sense that we enjoy blacking out on rooftops, that means drive-in theaters are pretty much non-existent, too. That is unless you’re willing to drive like, an hour away, aka
I literally don’t have my license that’s not happening. Get the same experience, only better, by visiting Bryant Park on Monday nights or Brooklyn Bridge Park on Thursday nights for free film viewings. Ditch the Netflix and chill for once and bring the blanket here instead. Best part? It’s free.
2. Buy Something With Too Many Calories At Smorgasburg
Even if you go every
weekend year, there will always be new additions to the city’s most Instagrammed food market in Brooklyn. This summer, find something you haven’t tried yet at Smorgasburg and get it for the likes. I’m not saying you actually have to eat it (does anyone eat the food they Insta?), all I’m saying is you’re guaranteed triple-digit likes.
3. Attend A Free Outdoor Concert In One Of NYC’s Parks
This really grool program, SummerStage, hosts hundreds of free concerts scattered across the five boroughs. In efforts to represent diversity and other good deeds for the city, the summer festival brings in a wide range of artists and genres to perform. Whether you’ve heard of them or not, it’s free fucking live music where you can buy beers and call yourself cultured or some shit.
4. Soak Up The Sun With Wine In The High Line Park
Despite all of the nightclubs we love in Meatpacking, it’s also the start of an elevated public park that’s built right on a historic train line. The High Line (don’t get it twisted with the hotel) runs from Gansevoort Street all the way to West 34th. It’s a little under 2 miles long so if you walk the whole thing, it totally counts as cardio for the week day. The park features perfect sunbathing chairs, cute little carts with famous popsicles, and most importantly, an outdoor cafe with a huge selection of beer and wine. Watch the sunset and stay for their stargazing events. You’ll have enough Instas to last you like, a week.
5. Order A Beer Pitcher From The Oldest Beer Garden In NYC
It may be a tad out of the way but, once again, YOLO. So if it means venturing out to Astoria by taking the N or the Q, you’ll live. The oldest and one of the biggest beer gardens in the city is right in Astoria, Queens. They have a menu full of dozens of beers and wines, so even if you just “don’t like beer,” you’ll def find one that tastes almost like Bud Light. Or, you can just resort to your usual wine. Their happy hours consist of $4 mugs and $14 pitchers—a deal you can’t pass up in a city that’s expensive af.
6. Score A Poolside Pic At One Of JIMMY’s Summer Pool Parties
This exclusive hotel in SoHo only opens its pool to the public without a cover charge on Saturdays and Sundays at 3pm. A Jimmy Pool Party has everything you need for a solid pregame or curing a bad hangover. With live DJs, stocked bar, too many guys in finance, and a pool with stunning views, it’s everything you need for the perfect photo op. Use your own discretion for risking possible STDs in the pool, but other than that, you’ll have no problem finding enough room for a Bambi candid on the poolside. While you’re at it, use our guide for other rooftop bars you should blackout at ASAP.
7. Visit “The Happiest Place On Earth” At Least Twice
This is a must-do for any Hamptons- or beer-lover—so like, everyone. Have you had your Instagram flooded with people covered in yellow fucking smiley face stickers, looking like they’re having the time of their lives? Well, they’re def at The Boardy Barn. Open only on Sundays (rain or shine), this outdoor tented bar is the place Long Islanders love to get wasted by 3pm at. Its specials are basically “dollar beer nights” on crack. So, like a shit show. Be prepared to get beer for no more than a couple dollars accompanied with some mud, 90s hits, and a pizza counter for those drunchies. Admission is $20 but all so very worth it. No wonder this place closes at 8pm, you’ll be blackout by like, 6pm.
8. Get Buzzed Off Of Ice Cream
The gods have heard us. Alcohol + ice cream is now very much a thing. Located in Kips Bay, Tipsy Scoop features a plethora of flavors all infused with alcohol up to five percent. They range from Mango Margarita Sorbet, Cake Batter Vodka Martini, to Spiked Hazelnut Coffee. If you come during their afternoon happy hours, you can get two for the price of one. What a pregame game-changer.
9. Eat On The Water
The Frying Pan, a literal floating lighthouse, is located on Pier 66 on West 26th. Impress your friends with serious brunch upgrades by opting to eat and drink on this docked bar with an unreal view of the Hudson River. You can choose from a number of beers, wines, and liquors, as well as a variety of food to hold you over. Since The Frying Pan is right on the water, you probs won’t be able to tell the difference between you actually being drunk or just moving along with the waves. Either way, you won’t even care, just try not to vom.
10. Splurge On An Overpriced Music Festival On Some NYC Island
Your summer isn’t really complete until you pay like, $300 for a music festival you hardly remember in New York. With Panorama coming up this weekend, what better time to spend an obscene amount of money on a festival full of good music, wannabe hippies, and an unhealthy amount of alcohol. The upcoming 3-day music fest will take place on Randall’s Island, featuring artists like Frank Ocean, Tame Impala, Kiiara, Tyler the Creator, and tons of other people you probably don’t know. The creators of Coachella came up with this festival too so, this is as close as you’ll get to being Vanessa Hudgens on the East Coast anyway. See the full lineup and buy tickets here.
READ: Best First Date Bars To Take Your Next Bumble Bro
Rompers are nothing new, unless you were homeschooled so, chances are you obviously know what this one piece fashion staple is. When we’re too lazy to find a clean pair of shorts or when we’ve Instagrammed the same dress way too many times, rompers are our go-to in the summer. They’re the most casual thing in our closet that makes our lives so much easier, hence why we’re okay with peeing naked because if we’re honest, that’s not the worst thing we’ve done.
With the thousands of styles to choose from, you can easily throw one on for your next GNO, take it from the beach to bar, and even get away with wearing one to work—if you pull it down enough. However, since you’re constantly day drinking trying to forget your work week, you’re def going to rooftop bars with a view that makes it forgivable to pay for an overpriced drink. Taking a faux candid in front of a skyline probably gets you a decent amount of likes, but add the perfect romper and watch those likes turn into triple digits. Get your credit card ready, because these fab rompers will flood your next Insta with a ton of “omggg, I love your romper, where did you get it?!” comments.
1. Spell & The Gypsy Collective Lotus Kimono Romper
So like, this is basically our homegirl Lilly Pulitzer on crack. Inspired by gypsy free-spirited hippie shit, this romper is full of bright colors that are bound to turn heads for sure. Pair this with your fave sunnies and a white or neutral wedge for the perfect summer OOTD. Have your partner in crime find good lighting (because what else are friends good for) and slay in your Insta photoshoot. #DoItForTheLikes
2. The Jetset Diaries Zulu Romper
I’ve seen this pattern honestly everywhere this summer and although it reminded me of my grandma’s chinaware at first, I’ve come to enjoy the homey feel. As usual, white and blue are plastered over every summer fashion trend and this romper is no different. With bell sleeves and off the shoulder fit, you’ll pull off an effortless look like no other. Just swipe some gloss on and you’re good to chug.
3. Pull&Bear Print Romper With Skirt Overlay
This brand’s name sounds like a literal diaper brand but, they actually have cute af clothes so whatever sells. It focuses on bringing back the 90s—as if that wasn’t a trend since forever already—with laid-back, carefree styles made for doing the bare minimum. This modern versatile romper will become your first choice to the next wedding you’re invited to or a spontaneous night full of bar hopping. Don’t try to wear it with Vans like the model—let’s not get carried away. Instead, opt for strappy sandals and Y necklace to complete this trendy look.
4. Lulus Ain’t It Grand Mauve Romper
Made in the world’s second best color ever (don’t try to disagree), this classy romper features an elastic waistband that you can adjust each time you feel bloated. The flirty, feminine style will probably get some guy to buy you tons of cranberry vodkas so in addition to getting a shit ton of likes, you’ll probs get free alcohol. What more do you need?
5. Band Of Gypsies Keyhole Romper
Today’s fashion basically says we were born in the 90s, wishing we could be back in the 70s, and this romper is no exception. Another romper, another brand inspired by “gypsy life”. To dress up this easygoing romper for an upscale rooftop, strut in a pair of v sexual black thigh-high boots and a chic crossbody. Since it comes with an attached choker, you obviously don’t need to wear another fucking choker.
6. Wildfox Roxbury Romper
Who needs to wear another basic white dress when you could slay in this sleek secret romper? With an open back and plunging neckline, you’ll stay refreshingly cool for a day that’s full of binge-drinking in 90 degree weather. Pair with block heel sandals, a tequila sunrise, and be sure to always take a pic on your good side in this romp.
7. J.O.A. Tie Sleeve Off The Shoulder Romper
Stripes, stripes, and more stripes are all anyone who’s relevant is wearing right now. Impress your snobby friends by staying in tune with the latest trends in this tied off the shoulder romper. The vertical stripes will elongate your nonexistent abs so you look skinny in whatever picture you decide is worthy of making both your ex and loyal followers jealous of how good you look.