Your WCW is hungover every Sunday, reeks of too many vodka sodas, dreads the “Ride” of Shame in the morning but will still do it again next weekend. It’s me. I’m your WCW It doesn’t matter how many times I swear off binge drinking or how many times I’ve left a tab open with an amount that
brings shame upon my family equals my entire paycheck, I’m still going to find myself at a bar Saturday night a nd hate myself in the AM. Look, I know, you don’t have to drink to have fun, but – JK, that’s bullshit and you know it. As a woman in her early 20s, I’m still in my prime for making questionable choices and using my age and inexperience an excuse. So, if I can get past security with my too expensive (but, worth it) flask and get away with it, I’m probs gonna do it while I still can. This doesn’t exactly work with all venues, though. Sneaking in alcohol to beaches or festivals isn’t as easy and requires some low-key geniuses so, cue these inconspicuous flask inventions that are disguised as fashion accessories. This could either be really fucking great or, like, a complete shit show.
I know, it had me at rose gold, too but, then it almost (keyword) lost me at bladder bag. Is this for when I get old and senile and forget to use the bathroom? I’ll have to remember that. For now, it’s our dream bag come true. It’s actually a pretty stylish millennial pink-ish bag with an insulated thermal and refillable disposable baggie. You can fill it with any liquid your little heart desires up to 3 liters. No one will ever suspect a damn thing. Boxed wine anyone? Anyone??
I can’t get over this. It’s exactly what you think it is: A brush that actually works as a hidden flask. It comes with a funnel and can hold up to 6 ounces, without any worry of leakage. Note: You won’t get away with using this in public because like, who the fuck drinks out of brush? Ya, grab your friend to “pee” if you need a refill.
Spot the flask!!! To the naked, naive eye, this is just a trendy bracelet. Or, just a cheesy attempt at bringing back the 80s. Either way, it works. It comes in a few different colors so choose the one that best suits your metal preference and indecisive outfit picking. These are literally the best gift ideas ever, since you wouldn’t get a bracelet flask without asking your friends first if it looks good on you, right? Right.
With fall approaching fast and steady (slow the eff down, please), what better way to conceal your alcohol than in a scarf?! Also, why didn’t I come up with this sooner? LMK. The scarves come in different colors and patterns – so like, a real scarf that will fool your sweet nana – and can hold almost a whole can of beer. Which is honestly a lot if you think about it, especially if you plan on refilling it.
Is this real fucking life? You’re telling me a sports bra holding 25 ounces of liquid, aka enough alcohol to share with an entire party, exists? Just when I was giving up on 2017. The inflatable wine “rack” (LOL) has control valves for pouring and comes in sizes 34A-34D so you’ll def find a size comfortable for holding alcohol on your boobs. Going for a run or getting drunk in Central Park? We both know what the right answer is.
Our fave beauty product also happens to be a flask. Bless. The lipstick flask holds up to 3 shots, so pretty much perfect if you’re pregaming on the low and/or on-the-go. It’s a tad larger than a normal lipstick (obvs) but, no one will be able to tell the difference if it’s casually thrown in your purse. Don’t share with your bitches and reapply *wink**wink* when you please.