Ah, scented candles, my go-to hack for so many things. Need to make your apartment seem like it has an “aesthetic,” but get a panic attack at the idea of actually hanging some art, or (shudder) buying new furniture? Candles can fix that. Trying to relax with a bath bomb, but struggling with your bathroom’s flickering prison lighting and the smell of your roommate’s takeout? Candles can fix that too! Chic candles are an essential (AKA effortless) hack for transforming the ambience of pretty much any situation. And since you’ll likely only leave your apartment three or four times until summer comes back to us, there’s no better time to stock up on your fave scented candles. Here are some chic scented candles guaranteed to elevate your hibernation den apartment this winter.
Paddywax makes my favorite scented candle in the world, which is the Salt + Sage candle from their Modern collection. (Close second is Verbena Lemongrass.) It smells like the ocean (without all the gross stuff), and burning anything with sage in it makes me feel spiritually cleansed. Their candles come in four different looks: modern, neutral, earthy, and traditional. So all aesthetic candle needs from old-timey apothecary to modern glam are covered.
My biggest pet peeve with scented candles is when they smell fake AF and overly sweet (looking at you, Yankee Candle—each and every one of your products smells like it will give me diabetes). That’s not a problem you’ll ever have with Haus candles, where even the most floral or citrusy scents all smell 100% authentic. I’m a huge fan of the Dream Haus candle, which is scented with lavender and thyme, makes my living room smell like a chateau in the south of France, if you’re into that sort of thing. These also make killer housewarming gifts.
Rue de Marli No. 27
This isn’t so much a candle brand as it is one candle, but it’s a f*cking great candle so I’m including it anyway. Scented with pine, cypress, and red sandalwood, this candle manages to be woodsy, heady, and clean all at once. Within five minutes of lighting one of these, I genuinely feel like my life is more together, and also a tiny bit like Serena Van der Woodsen. It doesn’t hurt that they’re cute AF in a way that can only be described as Parisian-chic. Consider it the classy alternative to that heinous “chat noir” poster you proudly hung in your freshman dorm.
Sadly, no list of chic scented candle brands would be complete without mentioning Diptyque, the Cadillac of scented candles. I say “unfortunately,” because these candles cost more than I care to spend on decorative items, particularly items that I literally take home and set on fire. But exorbitant price aside, they’re known as the best for a reason. These candles make you feel like you’re strolling through Bergdorf’s figuring out which diamond earrings go best with your new clutch. In other words, they scream luxury. That being said, they also scream “I spent $75 on a candle,” which—if your financial situation is anything like mine—is more or less a cry for help. Interpret as you wish!
Betches Get Lit
All right y’all, you knew this was coming. I am an unabashed fan of Betches merchandise (the tees are the perfect crop and the beanies make my knees weak, fight me). If you’re looking for a candle that both elevates the look of your apartment and lets people know that you’re f*cking hilarious, this is the only candle brand for you. If you’re into scented candles but wary of brands that smell like an herb garden exploded or otherwise overly perfume-y, these candles are a good pick for that too. These candles are grapefruit and apple pie-scented (one or the other, not both—ew), and they smell like the real thing: sweet, straightforward, and honestly kind of yummy.
I hope your January is filled with long nights of Netflix, Seamless, and feeling like a f*cking queen as you bask in the glow of these candles. Working toward a luxurious lifestyle is hard; buying chic scented candles and faking it is not. Up to you!
Images: Shutterstock; Paddywax; Pinterest; Lily Charleston; Diptyque; Betches
Way too often, dating advice can stray into an icky area. And by icky, I mean letting men sound off at random on the things they don’t like about women, so women can go ahead and make sure they never do any of those things. While I understand the impulse—some of my own articles are along similar lines—I thought it would be nice to take a break from deep dives into the male psyche and talk shit analyze men’s behavior instead. Here are some of the weirdest first date offenses committed by straight men, as told by my hilarious friends. It’s basically a transcript of your next brunch if everyone’s recent dates were exclusively terrible. So…your next brunch. Enjoy!
The “Friend Zone” Guy
“Once on a first date, a guy demanded to know about 20 minutes in whether or not I was attracted to him because he had been friend zoned too many times and needed to make sure it wasn’t going to happen again. And then I turned very red and said I wasn’t sure what to say, and then he later implied he was good at oral sex.” – Phoebe, Journalist
Outstanding. IMO, he could have said any one of these three things and gotten the same point across. Let’s break it down.
“Are you attracted to me? = “Often, women are not attracted to me.”
“I’ve been friend zoned too many times” = “Often, women are not attracted to me.”
“I’m good at oral sex.” = “Often, women are not attracted to me enough to want to have sex with me, so I try to convince them that I have other skills to make up for it. Also, I’m not very good at oral sex.”
And yet he went with all three. I guess men were never really known for their subtlety. Moving on!
The Guy Who Is Probably A Murderer
“There was this crazy German dude who asked to put noise canceling headphones and a blindfold on me before we hooked up. But again, not clear why because he took them off before we actually hooked up. He just made me sit in silence and dark for like 2 minutes beforehand.” – Whitney, Editor
Let’s dissect this a tiny bit. I’m very, very concerned about what he was doing for two minutes after blocking out her senses. TBH, my first thought was that he needed to take a massive dump but like, shouldn’t he have equipped her with nose clips then too? Other theories are that he needed to complete a quick drug deal, hustle another girl out of his room before she saw, or take pictures of her to add to his collection of polaroids of fully clothed women wearing headphones and blindfolds. All of which, ew. I’m going to disable all of my friends’ dating apps. It’s too scary out there.
The Awkward Guy
“The last date I went on, we got coffee, except he didn’t get coffee. He got a slice of banana bread and ate half and then slowly broke the rest down into crumbs with his fingers while we were talking.” – Jane, Hostess
“One introduced me to his parents.” – Victoria, Video Game Producer
Say what you will, but I think both offenses are equal level dealbreakers.
The Condescending Guy
“There was a guy who told me he was seeing other girls but he liked me the most because I was “pretty easy to talk to” and “know a little about music.” – Emily, Consultant
Like friend zone guy, you definitely, definitely know this guy. You probably worshipped him in high school, dated him in college, and reject him once a week now. This is the guy who confuses “opinions I have” with “good taste,” and constantly vocalizes whether or not things meet his standard. And by things, I mean women, which works out because that’s how he thinks of them.
The Wild Card
“ told me he voted for Ted Cruz.” – Lucinda, Grad Student
TBH I’m stuck on what would be worse: having your date tell you that they voted for Ted Cruz, or going on multiple dates with a guy who voted for Ted Cruz without ever knowing.
There you have it! The weirdest first date stories I got with a mass text, and they are…honestly, pretty awful. Let’s all take this as a reminder to brush up on our fake emergency calls and “bad sushi” lies. Like you’ve ever regretted a night in.
Images: Giphy (3)
This weekend, like every other weekend, we look to the sky to rationalize all your destructive life choices. Whether you’re force-feeding your friend shots to help her get over a problem that’s been bothering her or catching up on your sleep, you’re probably v in demand this weekend. We know, you can’t help it that you’re so popular. You wouldn’t buy a skirt without asking your friends if it looks good on you, right? Right, just like you wouldn’t make any weekend plans without consulting your horoscope. As always, The Betches have come to the rescue with your weekend horoscopes.
This weekend you’re going to find yourself a little bored, Aries. All your friends are busy (or avoiding you), you’re caught up on your shows (unheard of, I know) and the weather will be too shitty to venture out. Where does this leave you? Either with 48 hours of uninterrupted sleep, or with plenty of time to explore a new interest. We recommend the latter, but wouldn’t be super mad about the former. Are there any old passion projects laying around that you can finish up? Or maybe you’re feeling ambitious enough to start a new one. Whatever it is, make the most out of the lonely next two days.
This weekend, Taurus, we’re going to ask you to stop thinking about yourself (outrageous, we know) and look around at your friends. Odds are, one of them is having a rough time and just not talking about it because she’s emotionally stunted an Aquarius. Your mission the next two days is to be there for your friend, whether that means vegging out on the couch or downing shots at that one bar where you’re bound to run into every single person you ever went to college with. It’s a tough job at times, but this is what friends do. Odds are it’ll be an exhaustin endeavor, so be sure to treat yourself throughout the process.
After multiple weekends of covert operations and aggressively avoiding people, this weekend is a time for you to chill the fuck out, Gemini. No coordination. No stalking of multiple social media accounts while you try and decide on a bar for the night. No activating old Find My Friends relationships. For the next two days, fall where the wind drops you, and ignore anyone else that might end up in the same place. It’s time for people to navigate around you for a change.
This weekend you’ll have one thing on your mind, Cancer, and it’s your family. Be they near or far, you’ll find yourself unable to stop thinking about them and their crazy antics. If you’re lucky enough (read: brave enough) to live nearby, make a stop at home for some home cooking and good alcohol. If they’re not close enough for a drop in, call your mom and complain about how empty your fridge is. That woman will find a way to get food to you, believe you me. It’s okay to revel in nostalgia sometimes so let yourself get as cozy as possible this weekend, even if it can’t be back at home.
Finances freaking you out, Leo? Odds are yes, because you’re a millennial living in Trump’s America. Nevertheless, it doesn’t hurt to take a step back and assess every once in a while. Without knowing you or looking at your bank account, I already know you spend to much money on takeout and alcohol. Am I going to tell you to stop? No, because I’d probably get struck by lightning. I will, however, tell you to chill out for a bit. This weekend, try and spend as little as possible. It’ll be rough, but your summer vacation budget will thank you for it.
After a tumultuous few months, it’s important for you to take a good, long look at your life, Virgo. Question one: Are you happy? Question two: Are you doing anything about it? Let the answer to these two questions guide your next 48 hours. If things aren’t going the way you want them to, change something. Take charge of your life, and try putting yourself first for once. You’ll be amazed how little people will actually care. Really. No one can fault you for standing up for yourself, but you’ll never find out until you actually do it.
Love is in the air, Libra! Can you feel it? If your answer is no, head to the nearest establishment that serves alcohol and get started. Nothing facilitates romance like a pitcher of margaritas on a Friday afternoon. The only advice we have to offer is to spend the next two days as drunk as possible without either dying or embarrassing yourself. That carefree, intoxicated attitude is bound to attract some attention, and some of it may actually be wanted. Do your think and let people flock to you, then take your pick. Really, it’s easy as that.
When life gives you lemons, Scorpio, what do you do? Make lemon drops. Or literally just like a cup of vodka with half a lemon in it. I don’t know how fancy you’re trying to get. The point is, this week threw some shit at you and you’ve earned the right to 48 hours of unadulterated alcoholism. Literally ignore and/or shun anyone who tries to get in your way. Sure, they may be looking out for your health, but now is not the time to care about petty things like that. Your only responsibility is to make sure you’re stocked on Pedialyte for Monday and then let your hair down. Really, you’ve earned it.
You have opinions, Sagittarius. We get it. And most of the time, we respect it. But sometimes your thoughts, while warranted, don’t need to be heard. This weekend will give you plenty of time to practice keeping your mouth shut, and we recommend you take up the chance. Your friends would probably also recommend it. There is a time and a place for being assertive, so use this time of introspection to figure out exactly when that is. Everyone will be better for it, truly.
Got travel on the brain, Capricorn? Of course you do. While it may not be an extravagant vacation, a lot can happen in two days. This weekend, get the hell out of town. Are you even remotely near a coast? Go there. In a landlocked state? First of all, why. But also, I’m sure there are nice destination somewhere nearby. It doesn’t matter where you go, as long as you chill the second you’re there. It’s amazing what two days of straight up relaxation can do for your mental health. You’ll come back refreshed and far less annoyed by the people you see on a daily basis. Try it, you’ll thank us.
This is a weekend for straight up fun, Aquarius. Despite what you seem to think, you don’t actually need 10 hours of sleep a night to function. Wild, right? Take full advantage of the next two days with a list of non-stop activities. It sounds exhausting now, but you’ll be shocked by how much energy you have when you’re not lying in bed watching Netflix. If you are truly wrecked come Monday, there’s always * cough * sick days.
Do you have a list of unfinished projects lying around, Pisces? We know you do, and this is the weekend to—gasp—finish them. Whatever you had planned, cancel it. You’re going to wake up tomorrow with the overwhelming need to get shit done, and it would be an absolute waste to ignore it. Use the next couple days to cross every item off your list, and maybe in add in a few new ones. After all your hard work, treat yourself to a much deserved brunch and use that time to brag to all your friends about how productive you’ve been. They’ll hate you for it, which makes your victory all the sweeter.