How To Make The Toughest Spring Trends Work For You

With each new season comes new trends. Some are practical and comfortable, like the athleisure trend, while others are more obnoxious and ridiculous, like the neon biker shorts trend. Of course, as with everything in life, there’s a spectrum. You could either be the girl (or guy #staywoke) who embraces the animal print trend with a simple cheetah belt, or be the person who goes full throttle in a latex animal print onesie. So, rather than just writing off every ridiculous-sounding trend as something you could “never” pull off, try incorporating the trend in a less dramatic way instead! Here are seven of this spring’s most anxiety-inducing style trends, and how to rock each one in a more simplified, natural way. 

1. Surfer Girl

I know you won’t believe me when I say this, but it’s officially time to whip back out those puka shell necklaces and Tamagotchis. Okay, maybe you don’t need the Tamagotchi, but those things were fun as hell, so might as well while you’re already getting out your pukas. And like, by the time you’re done with this list, you’ll realize that literally everything from your pre-pubescent past is coming back for spring. So really, it’s just a matter of time before we’re all playing with our long-forgotten, starved to death Tamagotchis and Ferbies again. But anyway, if you’re not ready to go full Johnny Tsunami with this trend then just pick a cute surfer girl vibe accessory that’s more subtle, like these cute hoop earrings from Free People!

Free People River Way Hoop Earrings ($28)

2. Western

Let me start by saying that this isn’t permission for you to wear your best cowgirl look from that one rodeo-themed frat mixer in college. Please keep your cheap-*ss cowgirl boots in the back of your closet or like, donate them to charity or the trash or something. It’s very easy to look costume-y with this trend if you’re not careful. Add one too many fringe pieces or buckle belts and you’ll look like a bad country singer reaaaal quick. So basically, the key with this trend is to only wear one piece at a time that has a Western vibe. For example, wear these Steve Madden boots with jeans and a tee and you’ll look stylish af without going over the top. 

Steve Madden Billey Bootie ($129)

3. Tie-Dye

Just like all terrible things we want to leave in the past, like that pathetic on-again-off-again cheating ex, tie-dye is back and rearing its ugly head for spring. It’s time to summon your inner adolescent summer camper-self, because tie-dye is about to be big. I’d even go so far as to suggest dragging yourself over to Michael’s to get one of those “As Seen On TV” suped-up tie-dying kits ASAP because like, that’s how trendy it’s going to be. Or, maybe have that aforementioned ex go pick one up for you; at least make him useful for something. If you’re not ready to go tie-dying everything you own, take on the trend in a little less dramatic way with a cute tie-dye scrunchie or maybe just a cropped crewneck tee. 

Velvet Tie Dye Scrunchie ($4)

4. Feathers

My beloved childhood icon, the one and only Big Bird, clearly served as the muse for several designers’ Spring 2019 collections. Feathers are a huge trend for spring, with everything from feather dresses, jackets, and lots of accessories. If you’re not ready to go all out “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird,” then embrace the trend with a simple pair of feather earrings like this super cheap pair from Forever21. They add just the right touch of elevated style to even the most seemingly basic outfit.

Faux Feather Drop Earrings ($5)

5. Crafty

I told you this spring’s trends are all nostalgic of our youth, so it should come as no surprise that the crafty look is another trend we can expect for Spring. I mean, between tie-dye tees and beaded accessories plus crochet tops, you could just look to those ’90s summer camp photos for outfit inspo. You could probs even post one to Insta right now and get a ton of likes since vintage-style photos are like, soooo in.

Free People Rainbow Tank Top ($108)

6. Animal Print

As Lil Jon would say, “Welcome to the jungle, b*tch.” Everyone and their mom is already currently wearing animal print, and we can all expect this trend to continue well into Spring. This trend is one of the easier ones, given that most animal print pieces come in neutral shades, which means they’re naturally more subtle and more versatile. I suggest getting an animal print accessory or pair of boots to incorporate the trend while looking the least tacky. If you’re feeling more bold, try rocking a chic leopard coat or jacket.

Pretty Little Thing Leopard Skinny Belt ($15)

7. Neon Pastels

If you simply have an Instagram, then you know that lately, the Kardashians have been more into neon than dating NBA players. But you don’t have to go Kardashian-level-extra to embrace this trend. Add on a simple neon accessory, but in more of a pastel shade, and it’s all you need to brighten up your look while incorporating this Spring trend. Take this Rebecca Minkoff bag, which can be added to any outfit as a statement accessory and make you look stylish af.

Rebecca Minkoff Avery Crossbody Bag ($87.50)

I get it, no one wants to look like they’re trying too hard to be “trendy.” Rather, we all want to look stylish and on-trend. So skip the tacky-trendy and unleash your inner Insta blogger by incorporating these spring trends in more subtle ways. And like, not by going to Charlotte Russe and just buying an ugly af bodycon cheetah dress.

Images: Free People; Pretty Little Thing; Revolve; South Moon Under (2); Shopbop; Forever21

Is This Spring’s Most Confusing Trend?

From clear vinyl shoes to Matrix-esque sunnies, this spring is all about weird af trends. Still, the most controversial and confusing yet has to be this bike shorts trend. I mean, this trend is legit so mind-boggling that even Vogue doesn’t know how to respond, deeming it spring’s “most curious trend.” Vogue is legit all of us trying to tell our friend in the nicest way possible that her outfit makes her look like a fat cow.

Just like everything else that the Kardashians do, people don’t take it seriously at first. But, sooner than later, even the skeptics find themselves contouring their faces while wearing the latest from the Kendall & Kylie collection. Love them or hate them, there’s no denying that the Kardashians are a family of trendsetters, and no one else could make cycling shorts a thing besides the one and only Kim Kardashian West. Legit, Kim could wear a trash bag, get her sisters to wear it too, and just like that, we’re cutting holes in Glad bags for Coachella 2019. But, like many Kardashian trends, there’s a right and a wrong way to attempt it. So as unrealistic as it seems that people other than celebs will actually be wearing bike shorts come summer, you should take it seriously now or you’ll be the one left standing there in jorts, wondering where you went wrong.

They say there’s a time and place for everything, and bike shorts are no exception. Demonstrated below, is current Revolve “it girl” Negin Mirsalehi showing us how and when to wear this trend. Negin is wearing the shorts as part of a daytime-casual look, and makes them chic as hell with her designer fanny pack and white denim vest.

On this cloudy day we played volleyball on the beach and got ready early to visit a local market. Wearing this comfy @loversfriendsla set from @revolve. #revolvearoundtheworld

A post shared by Negin Mirsalehi (@negin_mirsalehi) on

As for who hasn’t mastered this look? Bella Hadid. Just leave it to Bella to try too hard. I get it, your sister is a goddess, life is difficult. But your constant over-the-top effort to look unique and cool simply is not working. Like, why are you wearing bike shorts to the Cannes after-party? Why do your bike shorts have a seam along your crotch? Why are they metallic? I just have so many questions, and tbh most of them boil down to WHY??

#bellahadid and #kendalljenner last night in Cannes with #haileybaldwin #joansmalls and more

A post shared by Kendall•Gigi•Bella (@kenginews) on

If you’re going to attempt the bike shorts trend this summer, you need to choose carefully, lest you become the internet’s next meme. These styles will make you look trendy and cool and not like a soccer mom. You’re welcome.

1. Spandex

These ones are legit the kind you could wear to SoulCycle, and they are also Kim K.’s go-to style. They’re definitely the most comfy, but make sure you style them in a way that doesn’t make you actually look like a cycling instructor. See Negin Marsalehi above.

Urban Outfitters Out From Under All Day Bike Shorts

Urban Outfitters Out From Under All Day Bike Short

2. Denim

You kind of have to know what you’re doing to wear this style, or you could end up looking a little too NASCAR, if you know what I mean. Make sure you buy them loose and oversize to look trendy, not trashy.

AGOLDE ‘90s Longline Denim Short – Siren

AGOLDE ‘90s Longline Denim Short – Siren

3. Above The Knee

This style is probably the easiest to pull off, and even still, it’s not going to be easy. Since they’re fitted, I would probs wear with a loose graphic tee or crop top to keep the look balanced and stylish.

Amelia Cut Off Knee Short

Hudson Jeans Amelia Cut Off Knee Short

Look, I know this trend is hard to digest—like I said, it’s pretty much a glorified Bermuda short. All I’m saying, is if you want to be a trend-setter rather than a follower, then you better sprint to your closest Urban. Yes, you might be ridiculed at first, but a few months from now when all your friends are vying to wear your “ugly” shorts, you’ll be the one with the last laugh. Just look at Kim, who’s laughing her humongous ass all the way to the bank.

Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

The Chic Spring Trends That Are All Over IG & How To Wear Them For Less

I know the first day of spring was two weeks ago, but I’m still freezing my ass off in NYC. Even though the weather isn’t heating up, that doesn’t mean your wardrobe shouldn’t! I just feel like it’s my civic duty to make you aware of some of the spring trends you’ve probably already noticed on fashion bloggers—and as always, how to wear them for less.

Trend 1: Fanny Packs

Each year I find myself thankful for: winter in Los Angeles ????????, an all-day brunch menu ????????, and the fact that chic fanny packs have made a comeback ???????????????? #c21stores is the ???? #notanad #ijustlovevintagebags

A post shared by Shay Mitchell (@shaymitchell) on

First, the fanny pack this trend is totally “I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.” That being said, you do not need to go drop thousands on a designer fanny pack (even typing that made me feel dumb). This trend will be by gone the fall, so no need to have a Louis Vuitton fanny pack that could fund your future children’s tuition.

 This yellow one (also a trendy color this spring) is from Zara and it gets the job done, whatever a fanny pack’s job is— but it’s sold out, even though I bought it a month ago. Instead, try these inexpensive, cute alternatives I found.
ASOS Flat Fanny PackASOS Flat Fanny pack

Zara Crossbody Belt Bag

Zara Crossbody Belt Bag

Zara Belt Bag

Zara Belt Bag

Another trend in this same look are paper bag pants. Shay is wearing a pair for $165 by Flynn Skye, but mine didn’t cost nearly as much. Here are the same pants I’m wearing for $40. And obviously, everyone needs these $10 sunglasses from WearMe Pro.

Trend 2: Topstitch

I feel like 1️⃣9️⃣ Shay finds 1️⃣8️⃣ Shay hilarious ????. Thank you all for sticking by me, I can't believe the next balloon pic is 20m! I need some good (read: crazy) photo ideas! Leave some below????????!!!

A post shared by Shay Mitchell (@shaymitchell) on

????️

A post shared by Josefine H. J (@josefinehj) on

One of this years hottest trends is topstitch, which sounds like a Disney Channel movie, but in reality it’s just having the seams on top of your clothes. You’ll see it a lot on denim because denim just kind of lends itself to topstitching. It’s a cool trend but definitely not cool enough to spend hundreds of dollars. I don’t know why, but I feel like Sabrina The Teenage Witch had at least one of those jumpsuits.

This romper from Topshop is a little pricier than I’d like it to be ($130), but sometimes you need a staple piece, especially if it works for multiple occasions. This could be great for date night, a work event (throw on a cool blazer), a Saturday lunch date (love a good day date), or a night out with the girls. I paired it with my Public Desire white boots, but you can put pumps on and dress it up, or even wear it with flats while you run errands on a Saturday. Instead of a designer chain belt, I finished the look off with one I found in my closet. I love you all, but I’d rather not come home to find you in my closet, so try this chain link belt from Nasty Gal instead.

I love jumpsuits, because they take the agony out of matching pants and a top and sometimes I just can’t do that. But if it’s a little too much from you, these items are both cheap (and approachable) ways to do topstitch.

Topshop Topstitch Shorts

Topshop Topstitch Shorts

ASOS fit and flare topstitch

ASOS Fit And Flare Midi Dress With Contrast Stitching

Trend 3: Translucent

Paris outfits up on the blog! Hair by @anhcotran

A post shared by Aimee Song (@songofstyle) on

Who knew that the @evachen212 pose required so much upper body strength? P.S. yes I packed my raw bars in there. #evachenpose

A post shared by Aimee Song (@songofstyle) on

Clear plastic shit has been in since last year, when Kim Kardashian wore those famous clear plastic boots. This trend is a little daring, but you can pull it off in a few ways—and obviously they’re all inexpensive.

First, I bought this jacket from Zara, since I’m not into dropping thousands on a Burberry trench.

I also found these shoes from Forever 21. They’re a little more subtle, but they still make a statement (without costing as much as Kim’s pair, I’m sure). Throw them on with jeans or a skirt and everyone will think you’re a blogger that just left a really, really important photo shoot.

If this is all still too much, you might feel more comfortable with a translucent bag. These bags are cool for spring and summer and will make you still feel on trend. Most importantly, they’re much cheaper than the $210 Staud one the blogger above is rocking.

BP Mini Translucent Metal Handle Bag

BP Mini Translucent Metal Handle Bag

Forever21 Leather Crossbody

Forever 21 Transparent Faux Leather Crossbody Bag

Zara Vinyl Tote Bag

Zara Vinyl Tote Bag

Images: shaymitchell (2), josefinehj, songofstyle (2) / Instagram; Maya Media (4)

The Comfiest Spring Pants That Aren’t Leggings

Among the many fashion trends spring has to offer, the biggest (and def the best), would be the millions of pant styles sitting in our online carts. No one in their right mind likes to wear tight, uncomfortable denim jeans 24/7 (um, hello, social suicide) and like, unfortunately, we cannot possibly wear leggings to every single occasion that involves leaving the house. Praise fucking be that there are chic alternatives to both of these—Palazzos, culottes, trousers, and basically everything in between. They’re all comfy AF, versatile for the office to bar hopping, and you can literally match any top with them. Here are six spring pants styles to you get obsessed because fuck jeans. For real.

1. Brandy Melville Tilden Pants

These spring pants come in black and white, so perfect. We’re off to a fan-fucking-tastic start because they’re clearly neutral af. They’re high-rise trousers with an elastic waistband, so they not only hide your bloat, but they also have some stretch to them in case carbonated drinks get the best of you. Oh, and they make your butt look like you do squats on the regular.

2. BCBGeneration Self Tie Pant

Well, obviously, you need at least one pair of all-black pants in a style that’s neither denim nor leggings. That’s a given. Get a straight-legged fit that you can pair with heels or booties so you can quickly switch from office profesh to happy hour hoe. These spring pants have a trendy belt you can adjust and v convenient pockets. Bless.

3. Alice + Olivia Dylan High Waisted Leg Pants

The higher the rise, the more often you can say you hit the treadmill. Everyone knows high-waisted anything makes you look lean and toned. It’s only an added bonus that the wide-legged ’70s style also adds a few inches on your frame, so your legs will look miles long. The blush is def a go-to when it comes to amping up your spring wardrobe.

4. ASOS Miss Selfridge Petite Checkered Tailored Pants

If you live in the 21st century read our shit, you’d know by now that plaid and gingham prints are v trendy rn. Shamelessly take on Clueless vibes by swapping out an “ensemble-y challenged” plaid set for retro checkered pants you can wear while day drinking, but also to like, corporate meetings and other adult-y events.

5. Topshop Side Stripe Slim Joggers

I hate to break it to you, but it’s true. Track pants are a thing whether you like it or not, and they are not limited to Fridays. Don’t hate me, hate Corporate America and the trends your favorite stores carry. On the bright side, these are probably your best bet (and most pathetic excuse for street style) when you’re too hungover to put an outfit together, much less get off of the couch on Sunday.

6. Lush Paperbag Waist Wide Leg Crop Pants

You’ll obvs want something that transitions from spring to summertime, easy livin’ vibes like this white pair of billowy spring pants that make you look boho chic and 10 times tanner. Pair with a black crop top or like, literally any other cute shirt that makes your summer bod (or lack of) look good.

 

Images: Ahmed Carter / Unsplash; Brandy Melville (1); Revolve (1); Shopbop (1); ASOS (1); Topshop (1); Nordstrom (1)
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

Trends From Last Year That Have No Business Staying In Your Closet

There’s something about Spring that gives us a sense of revival—you’re stowing away the heavy winter coats, shedding those few extra pounds you packed on during hibernation mode, and dropping those fuckboys that you kept around strictly for “cuffing season.” But before you start spending your Saturdays drinking rosé on a rooftop somewhere, you should probably go through your closet and do some spring cleaning in preparation for the warmer months.

To help you purge your closet just like you’ve purged your life (by leaving last year’s bullshit in 2017), we’ve come up with a list of the dumpster fire trends you need to ditch just in time for beach week.

Unicorn Everything

For whatever reason 2017 was the year of pastel unicorn everything. From hair trends to clothes to makeup, everything looked like a mythical creature threw up on it—especially on the grounds of Coachella. So with festival season quickly approaching, let’s make an effort to do away with the unicorn trend and reach for chicer variations of bright colors and bedazzled pieces.

Oversize Sweatshirts With Thigh-high Boots

Like most absurd trends, this impractical look was made famous by the royal family of Calabasas. Let’s assess for a second: The Kardashian/Jenner sisters really convinced us to romp around in thigh-high heeled boots paired with large, oversize sweatshirts. And in some cases, even T-shirts. And like, fine. I love a comfy sweatshirt as much as the next betch who spends her Sundays hungover on her couch ordering Domino’s. But what were we really trying to accomplish with this look? Was it supposed to be sexy yet comfortable? I mean sure it’s sexy when you can afford like $1,500 Balenciaga thigh-highs, but to me, this trend just feels like KKW is Regina George when she rocks the tank with the nipple holes. We’re all just her army of hopeless skanks following suit.

Jewel-tone velvet. On my app.

A post shared by Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) on

Corset Belts

If you wear an Hourglass Gal waist trainer to work out and your waist is like 20 inches, I’m really happy for you and I’m going to let you finish but we don’t need to see your fake corset belt OVER your shirt in 2018. This trend is almost as bad as when we thought it was a good idea to wear belts just sitting on our hips on top of our long Abercrombie & Fitch tank tops back in like ’06.

If you’re one of the many who think of a plain white shirt as boring, let Coco Chanel be the one to correct you: “Women think of all colors except the absence of color. ???? @__sahilrajput Tap for details #whiteshirtlove #corsetbelt #tasselearrings #pink #boots #skinnyjeans #liketit #streetstyleluxe #mystylediaries #springsummer18 #lotd #whatiwore #summer18???? #boldandbeautiful #hkv #instablogger #fashioninspo #follow #instagram

A post shared by Tania Sharma (@closet.nia) on

Chokers

If you’ve been patiently waiting for the dog collar choker trend to die, 2018 is the year. We’re layering dainty gold and silver necklaces in 2018 and tossing out the black velvet chokers that we’ve been holding on to for dear life for the past few years.

Millennial Pink

What kind of sign is it that the color chosen to represent millennials is the same color as Pepto Bismol? At any rate, it’s out with the diarrhea medicine hue and in with Gen-Z yellow.

Fur Slides

Bad gal RiRi gave us the OG faux fur slides with her Spring 2016 Fenty Puma x Rihanna collection, and ever since we’ve seen some of the worst knock-offs. We’re really ready to retire this trend in 2018. Although the idea of adding fur to a pool slide didn’t make much sense, they were fun while they lasted. But thanks to the oversaturated, tacky knock-offs it’s finally time to lay this trend to rest.

The Fur Slide by @badgalriri: The classic pool slide, remixed in three bold shades. Get it April 22. #FENTYxPUMA

A post shared by FENTY PUMA BY RIHANNA (@fentyxpuma) on

Cork-Heeled Wedges And Heels

We really hope that you don’t still have cork-heeled wedges and heels in your closet, but if you do, throw them out. Now. There’s something about the warmer months that make basic bitches want to break out cork-heeled shoes like they’re synonymous with summer, but we’re asking you to please do away with this heinous look. If you’ve found yourself shoeless after throwing out corked shoes, see our spring shoe shopping guide here.

For all your Christmas party needs. #DesiWedge x #TonyBianco

A post shared by Tony Bianco (@tonybianco) on

Worn-Out Leggings

This may seem like an obvious item to toss during your Spring cleaning purge. But considering it doesn’t look like the athleisure trend is going anywhere anytime soon, it’s time we get rid of ill-fitting, over-worn leggings. Toss out those leggings with the hole in the crotch that make your butt look saggy and treat yo’self with a brand new pair of leggings or jogger pants—because why not spend money on the item of clothing that you spend the most time in?

Images: Kourtney Kardashian, closet.nia, fentyxpuma, tonybianco / Instagram; Giphy (4)

The Chicest Jackets To Buy Before Spring Arrives

The recent change in weather has got me hyped AF for an early spring. It has been sunny, in the low 60s, and reminiscent of all things day drinking-related—basically, everything that makes me happier than a 2-for-1 happy hour. Although we’ll probably suffer a few wind chills here and there, the increase in temperature means revealing more skin wearing cuter clothes. But then that brings upon its own set of problems, namely, what kind of jacket do I wear? Finding a trendy lightweight jacket that somehow strikes the perfect balance between keeping you warm and not making you sweat like a grease monkey can be harder than finding a guy who won’t send an unsolicited dick pic. Here are give v chic spring jacket styles to grab now so you’re prepared the second March arrives.

1. ASOS Denim Girlfriend Jacket In Stonewash Blue

I’m way too excited (for both my own good and social life) to be able to step outside in my ~new~ denim jacket and not freeze my ass off. It’s the perf spring jacket for boozy brunches (and other activities you do outside) because you can wear a fugly lame outfit underneath, and still be called really cute by judgey Insta followers.

2. H&M Biker Jacket In Light Gray

Knowing when to shop at H&M is like stepping into Forever 21 for a hot outfit and hoping you just get really, really lucky. It’s hit or miss, but once you find that gem, you’re set until the next time you black out in broad daylight and lose your jacket in coat check. This super basic (but also super cute) faux leather jacket is a much-needed upgrade to your black one you def wear too much.

3. Alpha Industries M-65 Defender Camo Field Jacket

Depending on the context, camouflage doesn’t have to necessarily be tacky, or piss off your patriotic uncle on Facebook. Not only will this jacket make you look like an up-and-coming street style model, but it’s also v durable. It’s both water and wind-and-tear resistant, so you’ll totally get your money’s worth and won’t even feel (that) guilty about yet another online purchase.

4. Tularosa X Revolve Emma Bomber Jacket

Spring = florals and then more fucking florals. SHOCKER. With a casual bomber fit, you’ll look extra festive and rooftop drinking-ready in this bright floral spring jacket. Thanks to me, you’ll def get hit with a shit ton of, “Ohmigod, I love your jacket. Where did you get it?”

5. Michael Kors Hooded Zip-Pocket Anorak

I don’t think there’s a limit for how many windbreakers y0u can own through the months of March and May. They’re obvs really lightweight, cute if you look close enough, and come in a fuckton of colors like black (duh) and this basic bitch blush. This one is stylish, classy, and goes with literally anything in your closet.

 

Images: Nik MacMillan / Unsplash; ASOS (1); H&M (1); Nordstrom (1); Revolve (1); Macy’s (1)

Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

The 5 Fashion Trends That Will Be Everywhere This Spring

Since last week, New York Fashion Week has been in full swing. That means we’re seeing slightly fugly avant-garde fashion, more goth makeup than usual, and a fuck ton of models on the South Beach Fat Flush, strutting runways only the rich and famous get to touch. If you’ve checked Instagram in the last two minutes, you’d see all the celebs we love to hate are flooding our feeds with flashy parties that look better than any club in Meatpacking. For the time being, using “street style” as an excuse to defend our lazy brunch outfits is forgiven. While that all remains the same every year, each season also means we’re getting a fair notice on what to start wearing so we don’t look like homeschooled jungle freaks. This is the fashion world so even though fall barely started, we’re already looking forward to seeing which knockoffs will hit the shelves of our fave chain stores next spring. From a scrunchie comeback to leaving the fierce winged liner behind to actually considering buying a camo dress, here are the biggest fashion and beauty trends from NYFW spring 2018.

1. The Return Of The Scrunchie

Mansur Gavriel officially gave the okay for scrunchies in their fall 2017 collection this NYFW. Models had very loose, effortlessly styled ponytails held back in the 90’s staple in an assortment of colors. There are two kinds of evil scrunchie people in this world: Those who swear by them, and those who refuse to wear an obnoxious band on her wrist (aka me). Regardless of who you are, designers Rachel Mansur and Floriana Gavriel have made them a thing again, granting us permission to throw our hair in the messiest of buns with these nostalgic bands and no one can judge you for it. Lexi was truly ahead of her time.

Lexi The Bachelorette

2. Say Goodbye To Winged Eyeliner

Every thot’s signature makeup look may actually be considered out of style next season. I mean, realistically, for as long as I’m living it won’t be, but Jason Wu says otherwise so I’ll roll with it if it helps him sleep at night. He wanted his models to imitate the perfect vacay glow with freshly bronzed foundation and fake freckles, finished with a uniquely shaped liner. A “fingerprint” is used to best describe it. I guess you put your thumb in some eyeshadow, stamp each side of your eyes, and bam. Winged eyeliner, meet edgier “I’m blackout in 5 minutes” rounded liner.

Rounded Eyeliner NYFW

3. Pastels And Floral

A major trend seen on the runways this season was flirty hues of pinks, yellows, and purples, along with delicate floral print. Flowers for spring? Groundbr—fuck it, you all know the quote. After the moodiness of fall, clothing will start to liven up, turning into pastel shades that aren’t too loud with faint patterns of floral and flattering stripes. Take Trina Turk’s collection for an example. It honestly looks like Lilly Pulitzer 2.0, but better because every basic sorority girl hasn’t gotten to it (yet).

Trina Turk NYFW

4. More Street Style, Even More Camouflage

Rave-esque colors are def going to be a thing next season, so this is my fair warning that every Forever 21 will soon look like Electric Daisy Carnival puked in it. I’m talking neon yellow dresses (honestly, gross), fuchsia pink pants, and cobalt blue tops. Take that and incorporate a dash of Kendall Jenner’s famed street style game, and you have the upcoming Kendall + Kylie spring collection.

View the Kendall + Kylie Spring 2018 collection in full: https://t.co/UTZiiYjpZM pic.twitter.com/9CPMjEs29O

— Vogue Runway (@VogueRunway) September 8, 2017

While the two have some weird bright colored mesh pieces, they also couldn’t leave out their infamous casual wear of booty-hugging jeans, plunging bodysuits, and camo accents. Unfortunately, they weren’t the only two to add camouflage to their collection so I guess this means we’re all going to look like wannabe upstate hicks.

5. CEO And Corporate Hoes

… was my favorite sorority mixer theme when I was young, fun, and cool in college. I guess all outfits I wore to channel my inner Risky Business weren’t a complete and utter embarrassment waste of time. Literally, almost every designer, including Tom Ford, has made it a point to add sexy business casual to their collection. Maybe to spice things up in the office a bit, maybe to encourage infidelity in the workplace… IDK. But, it is obvious that fitted suits, low-rise trousers, and oversized blazers will be an even better excuse to thot it up right after work (not that you ever needed one).

Tom Ford Fashion WeekTom Ford Fashion Week

^^^I think your HR rep would literally choke if you showed up to work in this.

Read: The Most Heinous Looks At NYFW So Far
 
5 Heinous Items Of Clothing You Need To Get Rid Of During Spring Cleaning

Spring cleaning is the one time a year you’re allowed to put your shit in garbage bags without looking as trashy as Angelina moving into the Jersey Shore house. In fact, I’d even go as far to say that you’re not just allowed to do it, but encouraged. Especially if you have any of these things hanging out in your closet. Here are a few heinous items you should purge from your wardrobe during spring cleaning and what to replace them with instead.

1. Anything With Mesh Paneling

We live in an advanced society where there are approximately three billion ways to make your boobs look good, so there’s no reason to keep anything with poorly designed mesh paneling for cleavage-related purposes. You should have left that bodycon with a mesh v-neck on the floor of that frat guy’s room in 2013, so there’s really no excuse to still be holding onto it now.

Mesh Paneling Dress

Go all out and replace it with something that’s mesh all over, like a full mesh bodysuit.

Mesh Bodusuit

Line & Dot Rima top

2. Ugly Cotton Maxi Skirts

There is literally not one flattering thing about a cheap cotton maxi skirt, yet every Saturday night, girls in clubs across America are raising their vodka crans, trying to make it happen. Like, congratulations. You’ve found a way to expose both kneecaps in something floor length. Throw it out.

Maxi Skirt

However, a maxi skirt done properly can still give you total a total Jessa Johansson “I just bathed in the stream and then I ran through the field to dry off” vibe.

Sporano Floral Wrap Skirt

Soprano wrap skirt

A long wrap skirt is such a step up. Just do not wear this to the club—that should be obvious but in times like these, I’ve got to take every precaution.

3. Caged Necklines

I’m not even throwing shade here, but I’m actually pretty certain that caged necklines were designed for flat-chested betches because they’re the only ones who can pull this off. However, this look is awful, so they shouldn’t even bother.

Caged Neckline

If you’re a betch with a B cup or lower, you can rock anything with a high neck and look amazing. Swap your creepy caged neckline out for literally any other high-neck bodycon.

Pretty Little Things Aniqah

Pretty Little Things Aniqah white high neck split detail bodycon dress

4. Dumb Bodysuits Like This One

I guess there’s nothing like, offensively wrong about wearing one of these, they’ve just kind of run their course. It’s kind of like how college couples always break up during the beginning of senior year. It’s not necessarily the worst thing ever, but it’s time to see what’s out there while you’re still hot enough to pull of a bodysuit.

Lavender Bodysuit

This off-the-shoulder bodysuit is probably going to be the basic betch’s go-to top when invited to drink on a week night at the last minute.

Petite Scuba Bardot Bodysuit

Missguided petite scuba bardot bodysuit

5. Crop Tops With Weird Cutouts

“Damn, look at that one inch of exposed skin on that girl’s torso,” said nobody, ever. Crop tops with weird cutouts are pointless.

Cut Out Crop Top

If you feel that you like, absolutely need an additional tiny strip of fabric on your crop top, at least go with something that has a tie or some sort of purpose. (And now I have Justin Bieber singing “Purpose” stuck in my head, which I’m so not mad about.)

White Tie Front Crop Top

Missguided white tie front crop top