There are a few things in this world that are just too easy to roast: sponsored content, pregnancy announcements, and Kardashian-adjacent coattail riders (looking at you, Jonathan Cheban). Lucky for me, today these three things converged in a perfect storm of social media cringe, thanks to Malika Haqq’s spon-con pregnancy announcement. Yup, that’s a real thing, and we’re gonna talk about it.
If you’re slightly less familiar with the Kardashian Cinematic Universe, congratulations, you have priorities. But really, Malika has been Khloé Kardashian’s best friend for years, and she’s tight with the entire family. She’s frequently appeared on their shows, and she and her twin sister Khadijah starred in their own short-lived spinoff, Dash Dolls. She’s one of the most prolific members of the extended Kardashian network, and she’s also beyond gorgeous.
On Friday, Malika announced that she’s pregnant with this Instagram post:
Before we dive into the actual post, you’re probably wondering who the father is. Well, so am I. At least for now, Malika has chosen not to identify the father of her child, which I think is kind of a badass move. She’s pulling a Mindy Kaling, and I love it. As far as we know, she most recently dated rapper O.T. Genasis, but they announced their split in June.
But okay, this post. Malika isn’t the first to cop the Clearblue pregnancy test #spon deal, and I’m sure she won’t be the last. Rather than a sweet photo of her stomach, or an ultrasound photo, we get this pearly-white, professionally taken photo of Malika posing with her pregnancy test. How intimate! She looks beautiful and so so happy, but there is nothing remotely spontaneous going on here.
To be honest, the photo is a little cringe to me, but it’s not even the worst thing going on here. You guys, the caption. The beginning part about listening to her heart is a little mushy for my taste, but I’ll give her a break. But it’s the last part, where she dives into the sponsored language, that this sh*t just goes off the rails.
“Thank you, @Clearblue for being a CLEAR and intricate part of the most important test result of my life. 2020 baby!”
First of all, I feel like we’re at the point where you should refrain from making declarations about 2020 unless you’re like, Elizabeth Warren. It just feels off. Second, I truly do not understand her use of the word “intricate” here. Now, full disclosure, I’ve never personally taken a pregnancy test, but it’s not my understanding that there’s really anything “intricate” about it. You pee on the stick, and then you wait. It’s not embroidering a pillow.
I’m generally not mad about people using their influence to make money through sponsored content, but the pregnancy announcement thing feels a little Black Mirror-y to me. Like, you can start doing mommy spon ASAP, but maybe the actual announcement part should feel a little more authentic. But whatever, I don’t make a living from sponsored posts, so maybe it’s not my place to say. Either way, congrats to Malika, I’m sure Khloé’s going to be a great fake aunt.
Images: Getty Images; Malika / Instagram
At this point, we’re all pretty accustomed to celebrities doing sponsored posts on Instagram. At first, it seemed random and desperate for A-listers to be earning their paychecks over Instagram, but things have changed a lot. These days, even the biggest names are doing ads for everything from food products to lube, so not much throws me off anymore. But one #spon trend that’s always fascinating to me is the use of paparazzi photos as an advertising tool. If that phrase just shocked you, I’m sorry I disillusioned you, but it’s time to grow up. Paparazzi photos are not just random photos photographers capture of celebs in their natural habitat—they can often be used as promo.
I really feel like in 2019, paparazzi photos don’t get enough love. They were everywhere in the 2000s (think of all those classic Britney Spears photos), but the rise of social media changed the way we get our images of celebrities. Now, so many of them post their own photos that we don’t have to wait for them to go to the gas station barefoot to get a glimpse of what they’re up to. But paparazzi photos are still alive and well, and in the age of #spon, they often have deeper context than it first appears.
Now, both famous people and major brands have figured out how to take the standard paparazzi photo, and make it work for them. Rather than stars getting caught unaware without underwear on, we’ve entered an era of paparazzi pics as marketing gold. Whether by calling the paparazzi on themselves, carefully placing products in the photos, or fully staging fake pap pics, it’s all a complicated game to sell product. Nothing in life is really a coincidence, so let’s dive into the world of paparazzi photos as sponsored content.
What really got me thinking about all of this was this photo of Bella Hadid that JustJared posted on Instagram last week. At first glance, it’s just Bella, walking down the street in a typical ’90s throwback outfit. But look at how she’s holding the bag. That’s not how normal people hold bags. It’s important here to note that it’s very obviously a Michael Kors bag, and Bella is the star of this season’s Michael Kors ad campaign. Her face is literally plastered on the windows of every Michael Kors boutique in the world. Coincidence? No, I just told you there are no coincidences.
By itself, I might have seen this photo and just kept scrolling, but then I remembered something Bella Hadid had posted on her own Instagram. Here she is, in the exact same outfit, with the exact same bag. In her post, she name drops the bag, uses #ad, and uses the paid partnership tool. It’s very obvious that this is an ad for Michael Kors, and she’s checking all the boxes to make sure she’s not breaking any rules about disclosing a partnership.
But normally when you do a photoshoot for an ad, you would change back into your own clothes at the end, and just go about your day. Instead, Bella Hadid obviously brought the bag out on the streets of New York with her, and got photographed by the paparazzi while she was at it. This photo looks like an actual paparazzi photo, but I have a feeling they were tipped off about where Bella would be, and she made sure that the bag was clearly visible.
I’m not saying it’s not a cute bag, because sure, it’s not fugly, but I doubt a $298 bag plastered with the Michael Kors logo is what Bella Hadid would reach for on a normal night out.
While Bella Hadid’s paparazzi photo wasn’t fake, it definitely constitutes some careful product placement, and we know for a fact that she’s getting paid to be the face of Michael Kors. Another potential example of this kind of product placement was Ariana Grande with Starbucks last year. This was never confirmed as a paid partnership, but for months, basically every time she stepped out in public, Ariana was walking around with a Starbucks cup.
Again, I don’t know if Ariana was being paid for her iced coffee obsession, but I do know that homegirl made sure the logo was facing the camera at all times. That, along with the iconic green straw, makes it pretty tough to miss the fact that Ari just couldn’t get enough of her Starbucks. Does she not know about good coffee??
And also, just last week, Bella Thorne’s team tipped off the paparazzi on where she would be before her book signing, and she was very subtly holding the new book while being photographed. Mad respect, honestly.
Whether you realize it or not, it’s not super uncommon for celebrities to call the paparazzi on themselves. While someone like Beyoncé doesn’t need any help getting press coverage, there are lots of lower-level famous people who would kill to get their photos on TMZ. Exposure is valuable! For top stars, it can be annoying to have photographers around them everywhere they go; someone like Bella Thorne isn’t mad about the paparazzi helping her sell a few more books.
Moving on from the tasteful product placement, my actual favorite thing is when companies fully stage paparazzi-style photos. Sometimes it’s less obvious than others, but it’s always hilarious.
Case in point: this photo of Jenny McCarthy chilling by the pool with her Uncle Bud’s CBD skin care products.
How fun! How casual! How natural! It’s hilarious to imagine a paparazzi photographer taking these hi-res photos of Jenny McCarthy at her backyard pool, but that’s definitely not what happened here. These photos were written up in numerous tabloids, including The Daily Mail and Radar Online, so I’m a little suspicious. Jenny was obviously being paid for these very staged photos, and it wouldn’t surprise me if Uncle Bud’s also paid some of the tabloids to write about it. Not to be rude, but no one cares about Jenny McCarthy or CBD skin care, so I doubt all these publications would be clamoring to publish articles about this.
But whatever, Jenny McCarthy, get that check, and hopefully the CBD makes up for all those vaccinations you’re not getting.
Probably the most prolific example of fake paparazzi photos as #spon is Kim Kardashian, and specifically the ad campaigns for Kanye West’s Yeezy collection. Some of them feel more staged than others, but they’re more about a general aesthetic than actually fooling people. Take notes, Jenny McCarthy. Here’s Kim wearing a very weather-appropriate outfit on a 100-degree day in Calabasas.
Why is she walking past a gravel pit? Are there gravel pits in Calabasas? Does Kim know what gravel is? Many questions.
The best photo of the bunch is this one of Kim and a couple of her groupies just casually “running” on the beach. Barefoot. In matching outfits. And full hair and makeup. As we all do!
But without a doubt, the most iconic use of fake paparazzi photos was in January 2018, when the Yeezy Season 6 campaign featured numerous influencers and celebrities dressed up as “Kim Clones.” Nothing has ever brought me more pure joy as a gay man than seeing Paris Hilton dressed up in full Kim Kardashian drag. It’s glorious.
This is actually an incredible look for Paris, and if she ever decides to tone down her over-the-top outfits, this vibe would totally work for her.
Another set of Kim Clones were the Clermont Twins, who are some of my favorite people in the world. They first got famous by appearing on The Bad Girls Club, where they basically just yelled the whole time about how rich they are. Their Instagram is almost exclusively wild thirst traps in matching outfits, so they were a perfect choice for this campaign.
I could talk about the Clermont twins for days, but I’ll just say that currently Shannade is in prison for continuing to use her sugar daddy’s credit card for months after he died. Fully iconic.
What are your thoughts on celebrities calling the paparazzi on themselves? Is it desperate, or just a good tool for promotion? Personally, I don’t really mind it, and I think it’s a great opportunity for unintended comedy.
Images: Shutterstock; justjared, bellahadid, arianagrande, maikeeb_kills, unclebuds_hemp, kimkardashian (2), parishilton, clermonttwins / Instagram
It’s nothing new for celebrities to endorse products in exchange for large amounts of money. From the earliest days of radio, print, and TV advertising, famous people have done sponsorships with literally every product imaginable. But in the past few years, the rise of social media, particularly Instagram, has given way to a new model of celebrity endorsements. Now, anyone with more than a few thousand followers is considered an influencer, and their posts are up for grabs to the highest bidder. Naturally, people who are already famous are especially appealing to brands, and even many of the biggest names aren’t above a little #Spon here and there.
But not all sponsored posts are created equal. Whether the brands they’re shilling for are dumb, the posts are cringeworthy, or the deals just don’t make sense, here are some celebrities who could definitely cool it with the paid partnerships.
1. Selena Gomez
Until she was usurped by Ariana Grande earlier this year, Selena Gomez enjoyed a lengthy reign as the most-followed woman on Instagram. I like Selena a lot, but I really have never understood why her Instagram is such a phenomenon. She has long-term deals with brands like Coach and Puma, which are totally respectable, but she’s super unreliable about posting non-spons0red content. She’ll go full weeks without posting at all, only to drop like, three ads in a row.
Selena’s most recent album came out in 2015, so at this point Instagram ads might be her biggest source of revenue. As of last year, she was reportedly charging $800,000 for a single post, so I guess there’s not much incentive to record new music when you can just take a selfie in a bikini and make almost a million dollars. Still, it doesn’t make her very exciting to follow.
2. Kim Kardashian
This could really go for all of the Kardashians, but I’m choosing to focus on Kimberly today. As we all know, the Kardashians have built their massive empire without any major talent, so it’s not surprising that they turn to product endorsements to rake in the big bucks. I don’t have an issue with this, and it would be weird if the Kardashians suddenly stopped all their little businesses and projects. What’s strange, though, is when Kim or one of her sisters randomly posts an ad that really has nothing to do with anything else.
When Kim posts about her makeup, or her fragrances, or her sunglasses collaboration, that makes sense. But an ad for The Secret Life of Pets 2 that features her dog photoshopped into her outfit? I’m entertained, but I really don’t get the business strategy. I guess a check is a check, but I feel like at this point Kim could just say no to random stuff that doesn’t line up with her brand directly.
3. Sophie Turner
We all love Sophie Turner. She’s been a standout on Game of Thrones for years, and recently she’s really come into her own as a star with an amazing personality. She’s staring in the new X-Men movie, and she’s married to a Jonas Brother. Life is good. Which is why I don’t really get her recent endorsements for Wella, a hair color company. She seems like she’s on the way to a pretty awesome movie career, so this just feels unnecessary. It is kind of funny because both of her famous characters both have red hair, while in real life she’s super blonde. Idk, I just want more videos of her chugging wine at sporting events.
4. Bethenny Frankel
This one really rubs me the wrong way. Reality stars are probably the number-one demographic for posting sponsored content on Instagram, so that’s not the issue here. But Bethenny Frankel is in a level above most of her Bravo costars. Back in 2011, Bethenny sold her Skinnygirl Cocktail company for an estimated $100 million, and she’s made plenty of money since then on her other Skinnygirl brands, not to mention the Real Housewives paycheck she gets every year. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t need the money.
But the bigger issue here is the product she’s advertising. Teami is a brand of detox tea that’s a favorite of lots of Bachelor and Vanderpump Rules cast members, but I don’t get why Bethenny has anything to do with them. She’s marketing herself as a natural foods chef, which is something I don’t think I’ve heard her say since about 201o. Because of her background in food, people are probably more likely to trust what she has to say, but this is definitely just a caption that Bethenny copy-pasted from the email Teami sent her. I’m thoroughly unimpressed.
5. Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez isn’t a major offender here, but I still have some questions. Lately, she’s been marketing her collaboration with athletic wear brand Niyama Sol. At least it’s her own line, but it’s still a little random. J.Lo stays constantly busy, with movies, concert tours, and TV gigs, so I feel like the yoga pants don’t need to be a top priority.
But even more questionable to me is JLo’s new line of sunglasses with Quay Australia. It’s pronounced “key,” because letters don’t make sense, but you probably know the brand from their multitude of partnerships with Bachelor contestants and other thirsty creatures of Instagram. I feel like JLo could’ve aimed a lot higher if she wanted a sunglasses deal. The woman has a net worth of $400 million, but I guess good for her for selling sports bras and sunglasses now.
6. Kristen Bell
Everyone loves Kristen Bell. She’s funny, she’s adorable, she seems super happy with her husband—what’s not to love! Oh, I found something. I don’t love this ad she posted for American Express. In general, I don’t feel like I need famous people to tell me what to do with my money. Just a hunch, but I feel like Kristen Bell and I have different needs when it comes to credit cards. Like, I have millions of dollars and am a movie star, but I’m sure Kristen is living paycheck to paycheck. Now, if this were an ad for the popcorn that she’s eating, I would be very interested.
Look, I get it, everyone loves easy money. But I miss the days when movie stars just did a car commercial every six months and called it a day. Leave the #spon to Bachelor rejects and girls with fashion blogs, okay?
Images: Shutterstock; selenagomez, kimkardashian, sophiet, bethennyfrankel, jlo, kristenanniebell / Instagram
