After 95694845 days of quarantine (I lost count), our collective #QuarantineClub efforts have not been in vain. And now I’m actually seeing other humans IRL (yay!) out and about. We’re getting our lives back in this so-called “new normal” and cautiously doing all right in Phase 3 with non-essential businesses opening up. Parts of New York are allegedly even entering Phase 4, but that seems too good to be true.
The light at the end of the tunnel seems to be within our reach, but remember—it’s a marathon, not a sprint. All things considered, we can keep up our momentum so long as a few bad apples don’t f*ck over the entire cart. Unfortunately, parts of the U.S. are experiencing just that—sheer amounts of stupidity (i.e. COVID-19 parties… seriously, WTF Alabama??).
Extreme cases aside, I understand that at this point, you’re saying to yourself “omg, I’m so over COVID-19. O-VeR. IT.” And I get it. 2020 is canceled. The pandemic was not exactly what we wanted for summer. But think about how the frontline workers must feel? My close friend Mira MacLeod, a Registered Nurse who works in the COVID-19 ward of a major Toronto hospital (which was also the same converted facility used to treat the first SARS patients) said, “hell (lol) I’M OVeR IT. If anyone has COVID fatigue, it’s me, girl.”
So for her sake and for every one of these caregiving heroes, when it comes to our collective health, reckless behavior is inexcusable. In fact, it’s NOT okay when you decide to be a d*ck by not wearing a mask in a shared public space and jeopardize the lives of others. Additionally, I honestly feel like the warm weather must be frying off some of the common sense in some people’s brains. I guess when you throw sunny skies and balmy weather into the mix, it’s like everyone suddenly forgot that there’s still a deadly pandemic in our presence which, may I remind you, still has the power to come back to bite us again (like it did to South Korea and their second wave) and force us back into our homes.
Do the people begging for stuff to reopen not realize that means having to wear a bra on a regular basis?
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) May 17, 2020
In light of people filling up their social calendars once again and taking to the city streets, the Department of Health released some guidelines on how we can all be safe when gathering together and dining out. However, what these documents neglect to state or inform us about is how the heck these rules will be consistently enforced. Mayor Bill de Blasio is essentially telling us all of this is based on “trust” and calling people out when you see them breaking the rules. Basically like “if you see something, say something.” While that’s definitely one way of approaching it, despite reporting the situation, the damage will have already been done.
Dr. Sidney Chiu, an emergency doctor at North York General Hospital, reminds us that we must each do our part and continue to take initiatives in safeguarding our community. Furthermore, we made it this far in flattening the curve—let’s not f*ck it up folks! Here are useful guidelines to keep in mind:
When In Doubt, Wear A Mask
MacLeod says that if you want to be safe, you should wear a mask indoors—even if the business doesn’t state that it’s mandatory. “You should be wearing one in confined spaces like at the grocery store, on the transit system, or at a retail store—places where you’re touching a lot of things.” You should be wearing disposable rubber and/or plastic gloves for this as well (think clothing items, transit railing, etc).
Wear A Mask When Walking On The Sidewalk
MacLeod says her major pet peeve is when people don’t walk around each other on the sidewalk: “It irks me that some just don’t care and/or take liberties. They walk by you in close proximity, and this is particularly troublesome when there are small children nearby.” As a mom of two kids, this is especially triggering for her. So she advises that when you see someone approaching, go around them, if you can. Remember, social distancing means you should be six feet apart, which is further than you think.
There Is Still NO Vaccine
“Just based on how I’m seeing some people behave, I think many believe that the pandemic has mostly passed—and that’s certainly not the situation. The reality is that although we’ve passed the first wave, we are constantly at risk of new cases,” MacLeod says. She adds that precautionary measures should be as routine as checking for your wallet, phone and keys before leaving the house. “A mask, disposable gloves, hand sanitizer (making sure that it contains 60-95 percent alcohol), and disinfecting wipes should all be a part of your ‘toolkit,’” which means that these items should be considered part of your “new normal” for the foreseeable future. If you’re forgetful, a good strategy is to set up a daily pop-up alert on your phone to remind yourself of these essential items. Or consider keeping it all in a stylish bag near your door.
No Hugging Or Shaking Hands
“This is tough, understandably, because we are by nature, social creatures,” explains Dr. Chiu. He adds that “in lieu of physical touching, air hugs/air high fives, or toe tapping is better than exposing any part of your body to someone else. You just don’t want to run the risk.” As a friendly reminder, he says that COVID-19 is spread through droplets and/or physical contact. “Just think that when you’re embracing someone and that close face-to-face, any number of things could happen: coughing, sneezing—even talking and breathing could aid in transmission.” He adds that what could then theoretically occur is that even though it appears that “nothing happened” during the hug, since you effectively touched that person, you could then absentmindedly touch your mouth, nose and eyes, thereby spreading the virus.
Just Because They “Look Healthy” Doesn’t Mean They Are
“We always assume there are obvious visual cues to someone being ill. However this is certainly not the case when someone is asymptomatic and can transmit the virus to you,” says Dr. Chiu, who adds that these individuals may not even be aware they have COVID-19. “So for your sake, it’s better to err on the side of caution and to wear a mask whatever the social situation may be.” Another scary and not-so-fun fact from him: “the chance of a test detecting COVID-19 is very low if you are asymptomatic, and it is unlikely to be helpful in determining if you have COVID-19 if you have zero symptoms.”
Invest In Anti-Technology For Your Sunnies
Dr. Chiu says that “I’ve heard some people complain about their sun/glasses getting fogged up due to the mask wearing.” To remedy this, he says to do the following: “mold your mask to the bridge of your nose, tighten the mask, or simply invest in some anti-fog spray or wipes which will do the trick nicely (and you should be prepping all of this before you leave your home).” This is an overlooked issue but an important one, and he explains that “you want to minimize the amount of time touching your face. If your glasses are fogged/smudged, etc and you’re constantly readjusting them, you’re increasing your chances of exposure.”
Invest In An Automatic Soap Dispenser
When returning home, immediately wash your hands with hot soapy water before doing anything else (the CDC advises you do this within 20 seconds of entering your home.). To avoid contamination, MacLeod advises people to get one of those automated hand soap dispensers.” Additionally, she says that bar soaps are a big no-no because bacteria and germs CAN survive on them (ewwww).
And in terms of venturing out in the world à la Oh, The Places You’ll Go Post-Pandemic (!), here are a few tips and best practices to be mindful of in the following social scenarios:
If available to you, always opt to use the restaurant’s QR code, which allows you to see the menu on your smartphone rather than touching paper. An exception to this is if you have a visual impairment and require a hard copy.
Wearing a mask while dining in a patio/restaurant space isn’t required (cuz um, how else can you eat that food if your mouth is covered?!); however, you should absolutely wear one when walking to your table and using well-ventilated washroom facilities (which are 99% of the time located inside of a confined restaurant space).
Another food-related issue is regarding pick-up and take-out: you just grab the order and go. Don’t linger and/or congregate on the sidewalks.
The CDC recommends that if you’re welcoming people into your home for, say, a BBQ cookout (specifically an outdoor space like the backyard) to consider keeping a guestbook of attendees for contact tracing needs. Disposable but recycle-friendly cutlery, plates, and cups should be used in lieu of the silverware you have at home.
Both Dr. Chiu and MacLeod say that if you can, visit these spaces on a weekday when it’s less crowded. “Because it’s an outdoor setting, it’s technically safer than, say, a shopping mall because these types of places are conducive to offering more room and fresh air.” For any communal seating (such as park benches and beach chairs), use hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes prior to use.
Individual Appointments (Including, But Not Limited To, Dental And Medical Offices, Nail Salons, And Hair Salons)
Ensure that it’s not a walk-in situation, and whenever possible, book your appointment in advance. If you’re feeling uncertain, ask what sorts of protocols the business or service has implemented, such as adequate HEPA filters/ventilation, PPEs, and plexiglass barriers to minimize the risk of exposure. When you do arrive for your appointment, wait outside and arrange for the staff to text or give you a call when they’re ready for you. Lastly, if you know you have to fill out any documentation, bring your own pen—don’t use the communal ones supplied at the office/salon.
With all the news and Karen-shaming, I’d like to think that the majority of us are better than that. However, we’re all human and can still be prone to slipping up once in a while. So I recommend screenshotting this handy color-coded infographic to act as your “pocket guide” if you are ever uncertain about venturing into a specific social situation. It’s nice that we can FINALLY see our loved ones IRL again, so let’s not take any of it for granted and remember to be considerate of each other by adhering to these practical and safe protocols.
We’re officially half-way through summer and if you haven’t taken at least one vacation by now, who even are you? Let’s just talk about how we have, like, 14 weeks until there’s fucking snow on the ground again, so you best be making the most out of your insta-while-wearing-a-bikini opportunities. That being said, if you’re planning a trip or just want to know what your vacation choices say about your personality, this gem is for you.
First of all, ew. Did you get brainwashed by your granola boyfriend into thinking camping was a good idea? Vacations are for relaxing and also having wifi/cell phone service. You’re really cutting into Snapchat opportunities to brag about your trip if you don’t have reception. TBH, if you chose to use your vacation days to rough it and get closer to nature, we can already tell a few things about you: 1) you have pictures on instagram being topless in nature, probably showing the Grand Tetons your little Tetons (they’re not impressed, btw.) 2) You pretend you’re not judgmental, but you really judge everyone who doesn’t have wet dreams about hidden mountain hot springs. 3) Your water bottle is attached to a carabiner. Is that spot on or is that spot on?
A Public Beach
You’re basic and you dgaf about it. I mean, certain things are popular for a reason. You’re not too proud to rough it with the rest of the world. Like, sure, there are probably fat dudes in speedos and kids around, but that won’t kill your vibe. You probably have an affinity for tequila shots and hooking up with dudes in the summer you wouldn’t even look twice at when you’re back to your real life. You’ll definitely post a #TBT when you get home and the caption will say “I need a vacation from my vacation”. We get it, Julie, you’re hungover.
Let’s just group the Hamptons Betches together. (Side note: the Hamptons can be exclusive, but talk to me when you spend a weekend on Fishers Island.) You like that #LushLife. You’re a “see and be seen” kind of girl and the Jersey Shore just does not do it for you. You prefer events that are invitation only, and if you can’t name-drop after a vacation, you don’t see a point. You probably own at least one Lilly Pulitzer dress and your dusted off the Jack Rodgers for the first time this year so you could wear them to the beach. You pretend to be casual, but your idea of casual is a round of golf followed by a bottle of Veuve Clicquot. Your family probably winters in Sun Valley or Park City.
The betch who chooses an international vacation could really be one of two types of people. She’s either the kind of girl who wants to be somewhere exclusive, but, like, on steroids. Or, she’s the girl who spends the summer abroad to “expand her horizons.” If you fall in to the latter category, you’re definitely not a opposed to a fling with a
creepy mysterious Italian dude. When you contract HPV from him, it’ll be like a fun European souvenir you’ll have for the rest of your life. When you get back, you’ll annoy all your friends with how you pronounce “Barthelona”. It’ll take a good four months before anyone can stand to be around you again. Your new, worldly-yet-pretentious attitude will be palpable.
A Charity Trip
Ok so this isn’t necessarily a “spot” but whether you’re painting an elementary school in the scary part of a major U.S. city or solving the world’s problems in a developing nation, you fall into the same category of betch. Sure, what you’re doing is super commendable and you’re really shining a light on the selfishness of the rest of us assholes. You’re probably a bit of a nice girl. Your philanthropy is definitely the most unique thing about you; not that there’s anything wrong with that. You probably can’t sit with us just because we’ll feel guilty about ourselves when you start to talk about how you actually benefited the lives of other. Pass on having a conversation with anyone who makes me feel remotely spoiled.
OK, just admit it, you’re poor. Hey, you might not be poor forever, but you’re probably lacking major cash flow if you’re “choosing” to stay home when you could be, um, not home. Sure, getting out and exploring your own city can be cool, but we just call that living somewhere. Like, going out to eat and going to events is part of life and not a break from it. i.e. the whole point of a vacation. You can’t really brag to your coworkers about a place that they’ve literally all been. If you’re taking days off just to stay home, maybe resist bragging about it.