You know the saying, “April showers bring May flowers?” I’m calling BS—because here on the east coast, it’s been raining literally all year long. And aside for the obvious reason as to why this sucks, I have a confession to make about why it’s giving me added anxiety.
All the way in the back of my closet—behind the pile of clothes that still have tags on them that I promise I’ll wear next year—are the pair of rain boots I’ve had since 8th grade. Yes, seriously.
You know exactly the ones I’m talking about: They have interchangeable sock-liners to match your Pinterest-perfect outfit, go up to your knee, and are so stiff it’s nearly impossible to bend your ankle. They’re terrible for walking, but then again, they could make a great dupe for an ankle cast (I kid… kind of). I can’t count the number of times I’ve tripped down the stairs because I refused to believe the Hunter rain boots I begged my mom to buy me for three years weren’t actually worth the money. You mean to tell me that taking off rainboots shouldn’t cause so much pain that you’ve considered permanently wearing them for the rest of your life?
But now that I’ve upgraded from a flip phone to an iPhone, I’ve come to the quite literal painful realization that it’s probably time to say goodbye to the Hunter boots. And since finding a good pair of rain boots can be harder than getting a reservation at Carbone (IYKYK), I’ve done the hard work for you and found the best ones. And because I’m super-low maintenance, my criteria was that they needed to be cute, comfortable, a neutral color, easy to get on (and off!), could be purchased online, hand-delivered to my front door, and can be exchanged for a full refund, no questions asked. Is that really too much to ask?
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Enter: The Steve Madden Women’s Sahara Rain Boot.
They literally hit every box—they’re comfy, cute, black (like the rest of my wardrobe, duh)—and I bought them on Amazon because you know I’m all about the free shipping and returns. They’re short enough that you can wear them during any season and comfy enough to wear on a marathon shopping spree. The best part: The price point is actually super affordable.
I was skeptical at first, but I figured that if I get the chance to buy a new pair of boots while remaining fully horizontal, I don’t really have much to lose. Granted, I don’t know if my husband will be too pleased that I have yet another Amazon shipment on its way, but it’s all in the name of self-care, right? And did I mention they come in three colors? Say no more.
Steve Madden Women’s Sahara Rain Boot
Steve Madden Women’s Sahara Rain Boot, $49.30, Amazon
Background image credit: Photo by Pixabay
Guys, I’m about to make your bank account (or your dad’s, whatever) hate me even more than it already does. Steve Madden is having an insane fucking sale. If you don’t already dream of owning every single pair of boots, you’ll for sure be adding them to your cart by the time you’re done reading this paragraph. I know, I’m a good fucking person. From now through Friday (yes, as in tomorrow), take an extra 40 percent off of already reduced Steve Madden women’s boots. And like, okay, wait—It gets better. When you buy with Spring (side note: they also have a free app), you get free shipping, free returns, ~and~ cash back. A little louder for the people in the back, please. All bullshit aside, here are 6 pairs from the Steve Madden sale to get you started.
1. WAGNER By Steve Madden
If you don’t own a pair of little black boots, I’m just going to assume you live in the middle of Nowheresville. With sock booties being all the rage this fall, the Wagner style comes in pretty damn close with its stiletto heel, pointed toe, and patent surface. Pair with your most fave jeans for an outfit that looks like it cost you a lot more effort than it actually did.
2. NAOMI By Steve Madden
Just because everything looks better in black doesn’t mean we should ignore the like, 10 million other colors that exist. Like, taupe is the classier, hotter version of boring-ass brown. Featuring trendy dipped sides that you can pair with sexy socks (fishnets, anyone?), this all-suede block heel comes with a heel that’s slightly under 4 inches, so you can walk miles without bitching the entire time.
3. RADLEY By Steve Madden
Despite what you think, punk-glam is totally a thing and yes, it’s doable so long as you don’t turn it into 2002 Avril Lavigne. The studded style is basically your average black bootie that you probs wear with every single one of your outfits, but like, edgier and definitely ready to take more tequila shots. And since you’ll be buying it during the Steve Madden sale, you won’t even feel bad that these are not like, the most practical.
4. AMY By Steve Madden
It’s cuter than your basic bitch riding boot, but still versatile enough to match with comfy leggings or fitted jeans. You’ll def enjoy taking turns with the chestnut brown, so you don’t become a shoe repeater—which may or may not be worse than an outfit repeater.
5. TORRENT By Steve Madden
In case you live under a rock or refuse to get cable at this point because you’re just stubborn (and cheap) AF (hello, it’s me), we’ve been getting swamped with hella snowstorms that are neither cute nor fun. It doesn’t help that they fuck up our favorite shoes and hair. YOU CAN’T GET BOTH, MOTHER NATURE. Use the Steve Madden sale to avail yourself of cute snow boots you actually like, aka these chic fleece-lined rubber boots.
6. NIELA By Steve Madden
Everyone needs at least one pair of OTK boots and make them black, fucking duh. They make your legs look like, 5 miles long, your entire frame look thinner, and you appear taller without making your feet cry out in pain. Plus they’re worth a shit ton of likes so you can literally wear them
on the walk of shame with sweatpants and still get compliments.
Images: Kaci Baum / Unsplash; Spring (6)
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