The Hottest Players In The 2018 World Cup

Let’s just come right out and admit it. What we know about soccer can be summed up with “David Beckham”. And if you thought 2018 couldn’t get any worse with Trump, it turns out the U.S. has to face the worldwide humiliation of not making it into this year’s World Cup competition for the first time since 1986. The U.S. women’s national team, on the other hand, has three World Cup titles under its belt—though they are paid a lot less, but that’s a conversation for another time. On a lighter note, the World Cup gives us the opportunity to search for the next generation of soccer hotties. And a convenient side-effect is that you can sound like you know what you’re talking about while traveling abroad or impressing guys who are into soccer (and obnoxiously call it “football” even though they studied abroad one time in Barcelona for three months, six years ago). Here’s a cheat sheet of the hottest players in the 2018 World Cup to get you started.

Olivier Giroud, France

Giroud is the striker for the French National team. He has modeled just as much as he has played soccer. Giroud has been featured on the covers of Tetu and GQ, and the 6’4” 27-year-old endorses Hugo Boss and Puma. Oui oui, j’aime Olivier.

Smile ❤???? #teamgiroud #teamfangiroud #teamchelsea #familygiroud #oliviergiroud #chelseafc #chelsea #coupedumonde #victoires #giroud #OG9 #OG18 #lebest #france #equipedefrance #perfectman #bettersmile #equipedefrance #chelseateam #foot #football #teamedf #teamfoot #worldcup #follow4follow #ogpower #ogfamily #instafootball #instafoot

A post shared by Compte fan Olivier Giroud ❤???? (@oliviergiroud_love) on

 

Gerard Pique, Spain

So what if he’s married to Shakira…

Kiss my Airs✌ Nike.com #Vapormax #Kissmyairs #Teamnike

A post shared by Gerard Piqué (@3gerardpique) on

Asmir Begovic, Bosnia and Herzegovina

We couldn’t locate Bosnia or Herzegovina on a map if our lives depended on it, but now we have a valid reason to do some research. Begovic is a 6’6” 28-year-old goalkeeper playing for the Bosnian National Team. On top of being gorgeous, he can speak four languages: English, French, Bosnian, and German. If that isn’t sexy, I don’t know what is.

#najboljinasvijetu

A post shared by Asmir Begovic (@asmirbegovicfans) on

Mats Hummels, Germany 

Basically, the best thing that’s come out of Germany since beer. 

Inspired by 1990, we will wear green again for the upcoming World Cup. Guess who won back then ???? // Eine Hommage an 1990 – unser grünes @dfb_team Away Jersey für die WM! Gutes Omen würde ich sagen ✅???? ➡ Link in my Bio #HereToCreate

A post shared by Mats Hummels – Bruder von JH17 (@aussenrist15) on

Yaya Touré, Ivory Coast

Yaya Touré is a midfielder and devoted captain for the Ivory Coast National team, exemplified by his impressive build. He recently led the Ivory Coast National Team to victory in the 2015 African Cup of Nations. He’s extremely humble and charitable, shown by his major involvement in many philanthropic organizations in West Africa.

A post shared by Yaya Touré (@yayatoureofficial) on

James Rodriguez, Colombia

Rodriguez is a 24-year-old striker for the Colombian National team. In the 2014 World Cup, he emerged as the top scorer of the entire South American continent. One of his goals was even awarded the best goal of the entire tournament. Rodriguez is a family man who’s been married since 2010 (sighs) and endorses Adidas and Rexona, among other brands.

Un país, una pasión. [email protected] #HereToCreate

A post shared by James Rodríguez (@jamesrodriguez10) on

Sergio Ramos, Spain

Sergio Ramos represents the Spain National Team in the World Cup. He is the proud captain of Real Madrid FC. His devotion to his career has resulted in a faultless six-pack, which I believe we can all agree to be a positive side effect.

#APorLa13 Madridistas, ¡#APorLa13! #HalaMadrid

A post shared by Sergio Ramos (@sergioramos) on

Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal

This guy needs no introduction at all. If you don’t know who Cristiano Ronaldo is, you just may have been living under a rock. His dedication to his performance has resulted in his beautiful physique, and Ronaldo has been topping lists of sexiest soccer players since day one.

Double trouble [email protected]

A post shared by Cristiano Ronaldo (@cristiano) on

Images: oliviergiroud_love, 3gerardpique, asmirbegovicfans, aussenrist15, yayatoureofficial, jamesrodriguez10, sergioramos, cristiano / Instagram

8 Hot Olympians On To Root For On Team USA

Every four years, we get the opportunity to turn on the Winter Olympics, watch about three seconds of someone skiing, and then get bored and change the channel to a random RHONY rerun. Luckily for us, the hot Olympians of Team USA make watching slightly more enjoyable considering they’re v good-looking. In case you haven’t been stalking their Instagrams already, here are the 8 hottest athletes on Team USA this year:

Hot Olympian #1: Gus Kenworthy

Stoked to be part of @papermagazine’s #breaktheinternet issue this month! Serving up 2018 hoe-pening ceremony lewks. Link to the article in their bio! ????: @mrwhite_

A post shared by gus kenworthy (@guskenworthy) on

Gus Kenworthy is a 26-year-old pro skier who already has over five silver medals in his pocket. Can you please do less? He’s also literally so good-looking, so I guess some people really do have it all. He’s also gay which is a bummer for the straight women out there, but like, I’ll still be watching him. And stalking his Instagram.

Hot Olympian #2: David Chodounsky

It’s me! Thank you @nordicausa for the awesome poster! #myfirstposter #nordica

A post shared by David Chodounsky (@dchodounsky) on

David is an alpine skier from Colorado and he’s been on the US team for over eight years. He went to Dartmouth and won the NCAA slalom title when he was just a freshman, sooo let’s assume he didn’t have any *social* trouble. I’m a fan.

Hot Olympian #3: Hakeem Abdul-Saboor

Be obsessed with #theprocess, fall in love with the #results! Big thanks to @underarmour and @beatsbydre for the support! * * * * #fitfam #fitspo #physique #bodybuilding #npc #igfit #vision #fitness #nutrition #diet #fitbodies #motivation #instagood #aesthetics #exercise #strong #goals #gymrat #motivation #hardwork #healthylifestyle #fitspiration #gym #swole #USA #gains #bobsled #bobsleigh

A post shared by Hakeem (@has_fitness) on

I honestly never even knew bobsledding was a real Olympic sport beyond Cool Runnings, but now it’s kinda my fav one. Hakeem Abdul- Saboor (AKA @has_fitness on Insta) is literally so hot and the videos he posts of his gym sessions are literally mind-blowing. I mean, who knew you had to be jacked under all those layers?

Hot Olympian #4: Tim Burke

 

Great views @SkiWhiteface after a hard bounding session! pic.twitter.com/klOeXILvAI

— Tim Burke (@tb_burke) August 8, 2016

Tim Burke is a biathlete, so yes he has many talents. Before 2017, he was one of only two men in the US to have won a biathlon medal at the world championship. He’s already broken a ton of records and he’s only in his 30’s. Plus, he’s married to another biathlete, Andrea Henkel, and the two of them combined have more world cup medals than the average human will ever see.

Hot Olympian #5:  Joey Mantia

I’m not an ambi-turner. It’s a problem I had since I was a baby.

A post shared by Joey Mantia (@joeymantia) on

This guy makes long track speedskating look good, even though he has to wear those tragic goggles when competing. Joey Mantia has literally been sponsored by every big company, from Under Armour to Comcast. He’s obviously playing his cards right. He also owns a cafe in Utah. Talk about a diverse resume.

Hot Olympian #6: Jordan Greenway

Hate the player not the game ????

A post shared by Jordan Greenway (@jgreenway12) on

UM, apparently this guy is 20 years old so this may be creepy, but like, he’s 6 foot 5 and weighs 230 pounds, so he’s killing it. Aside from his good looks, it’s beyond impressive that he’s on the Olympic ice hockey team at this age. Like, my biggest accomplishment at 20 years old was getting into some campus bar without getting carded.

Hot Olympian #7:  Jayson Terdiman

Couldn’t be happier to be back in North America ???? @duluthtradingcompany

A post shared by Jayson Terdiman (@jaysonterdiman) on

This guy is a luge athlete, which is that sport that looks like grown men are sliding down the mountain on a sled like they’re on some water slide at Atlantis. Turns out it’s actually a really intense sport and this guy is one of the best in the world. It’s basically all about controlled upper body strength, so there’s no question he’s jacked.

Hot Olympian #8: Jake Pates

A little hike down to Blacks Beach with @livleroux ???? @oakleysnowboarding #oakleylatch

A post shared by JAKEPATES (@jakepates) on

Shaun White has been known as the hot snowboarder for some time now, but honestly, Jake Pates may take his place this year. Jake is from Colorado, but he kinda looks like the surfing type that lives in Malibu and has never been to New York. He made the US Rookie team in 2014 and he’s been killing it ever since. Plus, his Instagram bio says “FAM FIRST,” so like, he’s husband material for sure.

Also, Jake doesn’t have a sexual harassment scandal brewing so like…there’s also that.