7 Myths About Sex Drives That Are 100% Wrong

If you read a lot of sex related content on the internet (which, hi, you should), then you’ve probably noticed that libidos have been a hot topic during this pandemic. Why? Because everyone’s sex drives have been on a wild roller coaster for the last few months and they have questions about it (patience—answers below). It turns out that libidos are way more complex than we thought, but the good news is there’s no better time to clear up harmful misconceptions surrounding them than right TF now. So let’s smash some myths and reduce some stigma about sex drives with a little help from a few sex educators.

1. It’s Personal If Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Have Sex

It’s hard not to feel unwanted when your partner doesn’t want to bang you. Trust me. I’m guilty of unconsciously falling for this one, and the assumption has blessed me with a fair (read: unfair) share of stress and anxiety in my romantic relationships. But it turns out that sometimes our partners just aren’t in the mood, and it’s really NBD. “I mean, it could be personal if your partner isn’t into having sex with you, but there are a lot of other reasons, and it’s best to communicate before taking that rejection personally,” says Tara Struyk, cofounder of sexuality publication Kinkly and sex toy store Kinkly Shop. She notes that disinterest in sex can pop up as a result of stress, depression, taking medication, health problems, or just an urge for some time away from having sex. In other words, it’s (probably) not personal.

“When you make that about you, it makes people feel really bad about themselves and puts extra stress and pressure around your sex life, which is unlikely to make it better,” adds Struyk. So cut it out. If your partner isn’t into sex with you right now, she recommends asking them what’s up and how you can help. A little help can go a long way sometimes (if you know what I mean). 

2. Your Libido Stays The Same Forever

Wrong. “We often treat ‘sex drive’ as though it’s something we should all experience at a sustained level over the course of our lifetime, but the reality is that sexual desire (I prefer this term) varies from person to person and fluctuates significantly over time,” says Jess O’Reilly, resident sexologist at personal lubricant brand ASTROGLIDE. Your libido actually changes on a daily basis and is constantly affected by approximately 2,927,593 things. Some of those factors include hormones, meds, what you’ve been eating and drinking, how stressed you are, how much sleep you’ve been getting… basically every possible factor. Cool. 

Anyway, like we were saying before, if you’ve felt like your sex drive has ~come~ and gone in waves during these hard times of riots, injustices, and health crises, you’re not alone. It’ll come back when we’re all less stressed (hopefully sooner than later).

3. Wetness Is A Sign Of Arousal

“This myth is damaging for so many reasons, as we generally associate the physical symptoms of arousal with the emotional and mental desire to have sex,” explains Caitlin V., M.P.H., clinical sexologist for vegan-friendly condom and lubricant company Royal. “In truth, can experience arousal non-concordance, which means that their subjective experience of arousal doesn’t match their body’s physical expression of arousal.” So basically, this means your body and brain are doing two separate things, so you can be dry as a desert but horny AF or super wet and barely turned on. “This is especially true for women, who may experience high levels of pleasure and arousal while not experiencing vaginal lubrication and associated wetness,” she adds. 

The solution? Handy dandy (water-based) lube! It’ll help reduce friction, improve sensation, and maybe even inspire an orgasm or two. Oh, and an important reminder from V.: “Whatever you do, please never shame your partner or yourself for not showing the signs of arousal. Not getting wet or not being hard is a huge source of shame for many people, all perpetuated by this harmful myth.”

 4. There’s A Normal Libido Level

News flash: Nope. There’s no sex drive level that we should all be striving to achieve. My unprofessional advice? If your daily libido isn’t disrupting your happiness, health, or wellbeing, then everything’s good. Now for the professional advice. Natalina Slaughter, MA, therapist and sex educator of Slaughterhouse Education, says that her clients regularly ask if they’re masturbating too much (so if you’ve ever wondered the same, you’re not alone). “I think they expect for me to say a specific number or ‘if you masturbate up to fives times a week, that’s normal, but six is just too much,’ but it’s not that black and white,” she says. “It’s going to be unique to each person because human sexuality is very diverse. The metric for ‘normal’ or healthy I use is not hurting yourself or others and not interfering with other parts of your life in a negative way. That’s it.” K, so I’m basically a therapist. Now accepting clients. 

5. Women Have Lower Sex Drives Than Men

First off, I hate that this is a thing people believe, but alas, here we are. “The idea that women aren’t interested in sex is a pervasive one, and it totally isn’t true,” says Struyk. “There are definitely individual differences in sex drives, but these don’t fall along gendered lines as much as people think they do. The only difference is that women may be shamed for their appetites, while the same level of interest is considered normal and healthy for men.” Love a good double standard (and by love I obviously mean hate). Struyk shares her opinion so perfectly that I’m gonna let her speak for me on this one: “Screw that! If you’re into sex, go ahead and own it!” Preach! The sexual revolution is now, my friends. 

6. Drinking Alcohol Increases Your Sex Drive

“Many people think of alcohol as a great way to loosen up if they’re feeling nervous before a sexual encounter, but it can actually produce an opposite effect. Alcohol dehydrates and can inhibit the natural process of lubrication,” says Dominnique Karetsos, sexual wellness advisor for MysteryVibe. Shout out to those of you reflecting on nights spent pregaming for hookups right now after reading that. It’s fine. Let it sink in. 

Moving forward, skip the shots and try better (healthier! safer!) ways to help you feel more comfortable and confident in the bedroom. According to Karetsos, some of these include communicating with your partner before and during sex, doing research, and experimenting with your preferences. She also reminds that “it’s so important that any sexual activity is done with consent and authentic intention. If you’re feeling the need to ‘loosen up,’ think about why that is.” Hint: Probably because it’s a poor decision.

7. Low Sex Drive Is Always A Problem Or Dysfunction

If you’ve learned anything from this article by now, I hope it’s that “normal” sex drives come in all shapes and sizes. “Some people simply don’t want to have sex,” says O’Reilly. “While some identify as asexual, others experience sexual attraction but simply don’t enjoy sex.” You get the point. “When you have a partner who wants sex more often than you do, they may be inclined to label your lower desire levels as problematic, but it’s not your job to increase your desire to meet your partner’s needs,” she reminds. “Compatibility is cultivated by finding common ground—not through pathologizing the range of human experience and desire.”

Now go spread the word by sharing this article with someone. The people need to know the truth.

Images: Claudia van ZylUnsplash; GIPHY (7)

7 Most Common Misconceptions About BDSM

Thanks to porn, Fifty Shades Of Grey, and a lack of open discussion, BDSM has been thrown into the mainstream spotlight with a ton of negative stigmas and stereotypes attached to it. I’m here to tell you that there’s SO much more to it than “rough sex” or a manipulative rich dude and his Red Room of Pain. Practicing BDSM is and should be empowering, healthy, consensual, and safe for all parties involved. NOW, let’s smash the most common misconceptions about BDSM culture to destigmatize and promote a better perception of these totally awesome practices, shall we?

1. It’s Mainly Just Whips And Chains

As Rihanna sang in her hit song “S&M” that you probably sang along to in the car with your parents back in 2010, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me.” But just because Rihanna gets excited by sadomasochism, she might not be into voyeurism, infantilism, or other kinks. That’s because “whips and chains” are just one part of BDSM. BDSM is a broad term which is short for Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism.

You’ve probably fantasized about something ~kinky~ at some point in your life. Follow your dreams. Turn that sh*t into reality. Research and play around with different types of toys, restraints, and tools, how to use them, and which ones are most appropriate for you and the type of scene you want to experience before you use them. Maybe start with lube and a blindfold or vibrator, then, if/when you’re ready, incorporate rope or a flogger or an automatic machine. Whatever you’re into.

2. You’re Under Someone Else’s Control

Andddd this is literally why communication around kink and consent is so important. Establish, agree upon, and sign set contracts before entering any scene or relationship. Pick safe words (like “pineapple” or “red” or “stop”) to ensure everyone can quickly and easily communicate when something becomes too much to handle. This should be a mutually enjoyable experience for everyone, and once it borders along anything otherwise, it’s 100% okay and ENCOURAGED to stop. You’re BOTH (or ALL) in charge.

3. It’s Abusive In Nature

Sure, some practitioners are masochistic and enjoy receiving pain or being humiliated, and others are sadistic and enjoy inflicting pain or humiliation onto their partners, but that’s because they… wait for it… ENJOY it. It’s for their PLEASURE.

BDSM is not slavery. It is not abuse. It is a consensual act between willing participants. All parties should disclose medical conditions, fears, wants, and needs in order to make sure all necessary precautions are met for the best and safest interaction possible. Some people enjoy kinkier relationships because they actually present a way to heal from past experiences or traumas outside of a traditional therapist’s office.

4. Scenes Are Always Sexual

Hell yeah I'm into BDSM

Bringing
Da
Snacks
Motherfucker

— Kidnapped Serena (@kidnapped_jesus) June 13, 2019

Nope. Many people with high-stress, high-profile careers just want to let go of control for a change and have someone else take the reigns for a bit. Some people crave having their non-sexual fantasies finally fulfilled and have found someone who’s down to lend a helping hand (or foot pic). Other people want an emotional or a mental connection instead of a physical one. Different strokes for different folks.

5. People Who Enjoy Kink And BDSM Are Sick Or Have “Daddy Issues.”

If we could time travel and ask Sigmund Freud if BDSM practitioners are sick in the head, he’d probably said yes and they need treatment. WELL, a study conducted in 2006 found the following: “Compared to the normative samples, BDSM practitioners had lower levels of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), psychological sadism, psychological masochism, borderline pathology, and paranoia.”

So yeah, thanks for the compliment, Freud. People into BDSM are pretty f*cking sickkkkk… as in cool. They’re normal. They have good jobs. Oh, and they also have healthy relationships with friends and family, including their dads.

6. Girls Who Wear Chokers Are Obviously Into Getting Choked Sexually

Chokers might not be “in” anymore but if you still see a girl wearing one at the bar, don’t assume she likes getting choked in bed. If you’re about to hook up with a new chick who’s wearing a string around her neck, I HIGHLY recommend demand you ask her if she likes getting choked before you decide to put your hands around her throat, you psychopath. That’s a great way to get punched or scare the sh*t out of someone.

Once again, communicate, communicate, communicate with your partners. Never assume somebody is into something because of what they wear or what they post on Instagram (like the random ignorant stranger who slid into my DMs the other day and asked if I wanted to touch his D in reply to my story of the cool dildo wall at the Museum of Sex). Basically just be a decent human, for f*cks sake.

7. BDSM Scenes Are Cold And Emotionless

W R O N G. BDSM scenes are very physically, emotionally, and mentally fulfilling when appropriately conducted. Some of my most intimate connections have been with people who have done things to me that I’m 100% not going to mention here for a lot of reasons, including the fact that my mom may or may not be reading this right now (hi and please don’t ever let me know you read this, mom). Andddd once upon a time, I mentioned the word “aftercare” to a potential partner who literally replied with “aftercare??? Lol we’re not in daycare.”

I believe BDSM culture is the total opposite of cold and emotional. Caring for and about the person you’re with before, during, and after any scene is a huge, important component of a pleasurable experience. Most of that boils down to understanding your limits, wants, and needs then communicating them openly with your partner(s) who you trust will take great care of you and honor your vulnerability, and vice versa.

At the end of the day, we’re all here for a good time, not a long time. Whether you enjoy vanilla sex or mint chocolate chip sex with rainbow sprinkles, chocolate syrup, and a cherry on top, who the f*ck is anyone to judge? /endscene

Images: Pixabay, Giphy (7)

6 Myths About Female Orgasms We Need To Debunk

The female orgasm is a V important topic that’s finally becoming less taboo, but there’s still a ton of fake news out there. And I’m not just talking about the large population of men who think that jackhammering against a woman’s cervix is the only way to get her off (but that too). I’m talking about female orgasm myths you, a woman, might believe. Recently, I attended Satisfyer’s #DontFakeYourOrgasm panel discussion featuring a bunch of sexperts who shined a light on the truths and stigmas attached to female orgasms. Between sitting in the audience and having the pleasure of chatting with panel chair, comedian, and How Cum podcast host Remy Kassimir after the event, here are six of the biggest myths about the female orgasm that need to be debunked.

MYTH #1: If You’ve Never Had An Orgasm, It’s Because You’re Not Able To

Everyone is different, and that’s something that’s not a myth, but the idea that you can’t orgasm if it’s never happened before is 100% wrong. So if you’re one of the many women thinking, “I haven’t had an orgasm yet, so I must not be able to,” stop it. You just may not have yet figured out what you need to make it happen.

“Female orgasms can all be different because of how our bodies are positioned and how big our clits are and where they are,” Remy said. Yup, that’s right! Not all clitorises (clitori? Clits? WTF is the plural version of clitoris???) are the same size or located in the same place. Some are a little to the left, some are a little to the right, and some are larger than others… like balls!

According to Remy, “it’s not complicated once you know the motion that works on your part.” And that’s coming from someone who literally created a podcast to figure out (and conquer!) how to cum after 28+ years.

MYTH #2: Female Orgasms Are Difficult To Achieve

It’s not that achieving an orgasm is hard—it’s that the ~how~ isn’t being talked about. The TECHNIQUES aren’t being openly discussed.

“A lot of people say it’s harder for women and people with vulvas to orgasm, but I think that’s a complete myth because it absolves everyone of the responsibility of knowing how to do it,” Remy told me.  

Don’t give up or chalk off the inability to finish as a matter of it being “too difficult.” So many people believe it’s something that they don’t have the ability to master when they DO have the ability and they CAN master it. Practice makes perfect.

MYTH #3: Female Orgasms Always Stem From Vaginal Sex

Surprise! All female orgasms are clitoral, and only 8-25% of women can cum from just vaginal penetration. You may be one of the lucky ones who have got it figured out, but if you think you can *only* have internal orgasms, there are soOoOo many other roads that lead from Point A to Destination O, including oral sex, manual stimulation, vibrators, and other sex toys.

MYTH #4: There’s A Hierarchy Of Orgasms

Nope. There’s no hierarchy of orgasms. A squirting orgasm isn’t more valid than an orgasm that doesn’t result in ejaculation, just like finishing via vaginal sex isn’t less valid than finishing via oral sex. There is no definitive ranking, sliding scale, or health class wall poster that declares one orgasm as “better” or “more qualified” than another based on how or when it was achieved or how much fluid was ejaculated.

MYTH #5: Sex Isn’t Good Unless You And Your Partner Finish At The Same Time

Thanks to Netflix and Hollywood, people are expected to be cumming vaginally with their male partners all the time in order for sex to be perfect. In the wise words of Remy, “the myth of cumming together needs to go away.”

Yeah, you can cum during the same session, but you don’t need to finish at the same time as your partner in order to have fulfilling sex. Some women need 30 minutes to climax, whereas some men need eight. Whether you finish first, last, together, or not at all, everybody is a winner as long as you had a good time.

MYTH #6: Maybe You’ve Had One And You Just Don’t Know It

Remy insisted that one NON-myth that I needed to add in here is that when you know, you know. “My ex used to be like, ‘hey, maybe you’re just having a million orgasms and you don’t realize.’ Like, no. If you have to ask, ‘how do you know that you’ve ?’ then you haven’t.”

An orgasm is such a distinct feeling. It’s a heightened moment of pleasure—or several heightened moments of pleasure — that can’t be confused with anything else during the sexual experience. When it happens, you’ll know. You’ll internally (or externally) be screaming “oh, sh*t! This is it! YASSS!”

Images: Giphy (6), Pexels

The Craziest Myths About Sex People Used To Believe

We think that kids believe the stupidest things, but turns out, so do adults. Throughout history, people have believed tons of crazy myths about sex, no matter how ridiculous they sound to us now. But at the time, these people thought they were right (and they probably thought they were like, really smart). I don’t mean to sound smug, because the reality is, even today people still believe a variety of sex myths. And, look, I get it. Sex can be uncomfortable. Sometimes it feels like limbs are everywhere, and it can be overall an awkward experience. For some people (not me because I publicly write about my sex life), the thought of talking about sex with their parents, friends, or doctor is scary and uncomfortable, so they turn to the internet, which we all know is not always the source of reliable information.

To be honest, as a kid, I was so uncomfortable with the idea of sex that I refused for my mom to ever give me “the talk.” Hard to believe, I know. All I can say is thank God that the internet exists, or I would definitely still believe some of my own absurd sex myths. Here is a list of some of the craziest sex myths throughout history, that you’ll have trouble believing other people even took seriously (I hope).

Farts Caused Erections

Aphrodisiacs are a beautiful thing. Oysters, chocolate, wine, etc. are considered to be aphrodisiacs. But we don’t typically think of foods that make us gassy to be foods to set the mood. But up until the 18th century, Roman physician Galen believed foods that are “warm and moist” (yuck) and “windy” (aka that make you fart) were aphrodisiacs. Spicy foods (specifically peppers), carrots, asparagus, and others were thought to get people horny. Why? Because people used to believe that erections were caused by wind inflating the penis. Oh god. I don’t even have time to get into all the ways this is wrong. I trust you all took some basic sex ed, yes?

Sneezing After Sex

People really used to believe this myth that in order to prevent pregnancy, you needed to sneeze. Greek Physician Soronus recommended a woman do squats, sneezes, and then rinse out her vagina to avoid getting pregnant. This sex myth is absurd … if I just had sex did some exercise, I don’t want to do more exercise by doing squats. And if this were the case, no person with seasonal allergies or a cold would ever get pregnant. Honestly, I wish it were that easy—then we would never have unwanted pregnancies.

Masturbation Cures Hysteria

This sex myth is crazy. Starting in the first century A.D., hysteria was described as a female-specific illness and was a result of a “wandering womb.” So what was the cure? Doctor-induced orgasms. It was thought that an orgasm (known as hysterical paroxysm) could help cure a woman of her symptoms. As a result, the vibrator was developed to help doctors with their verrry difficult jobs. The worst part? “Hysteria” was considered a medical condition in the DSM (aka the psychiatry bible) until 1980!!! Aka 5 years after the Vietnam War ended and Jaws was released. (Ever realize that a hysterectomy is the word for when a woman’s uterus is removed? Yeah.)

You Can’t Get Pregnant From Rape

This list of sex myths could not be complete without a scarily recent one by Republican Senate candidate Todd Akin. In 2012, he told KTVI-TV that if a woman is legitimately raped, her body has a way of rejecting the sperm so she does not get pregnant. WTF?? The best part of his statement is that he said, “from what I understand from doctors.” I’m sorry, but what doctor is he talking to? Because they can’t possibly be licensed physicians. Also, don’t get me started with his use of “legitimate rape.”

Masturbating Ruins Your Eyesight

In 1758, Samuel Tissot, a Swiss physician, believed that the more semen a man lost from masturbating, the worse his eyesight would be. He wrote a whole book on the disease of masturbation. V curious about what other sex myths he believed. This sex myth also made people believe that masturbation causes a wide range of symptoms and that it is a disease in and of itself.

Periods Deform Babies

The French believed that if you had sex on your period and got pregnant, the baby would be deformed. The Curse: A Cultural History of Menstruation outlines the history of period myths. The book says that a baby conceived while a woman has her period will be “puny, languid, and moribund, subject to an infinity of fetid maladies, foul and stinking.” What vivid, gross imagery! There is also the myth that if you’re on your period, you can’t get pregnant. Although unlikely, it is still possible, making this among the common sex myths that people still believe. TBH people believe the craziest things about vaginas in general.

Thank god we as a society still don’t believe some of these truly ridiculous sex myths, but we still have a long way to go when it comes to understanding the human body (and particularly the female anatomy). If nothing else, this proves we really need better sex education.

Images: Giphy (3)

8 Vagina Myths You Should Stop Believing, Like, Yesterday

Maybe betches were just genetically dispositioned to think that the world is out to get us (whatever, it is), or maybe it’s just the given nature of the modern-day fuckboy, but we need to stop treating our vaginas like they just liked an Instagram picture of some thot. More times than not, we become personally victimized by our vaginas, when we feel the slightest itch or smell the slightest smell because of what most bullshit fake news has been pumped in our minds, and there’s really nothing that screams “trust issues” like hearing that vaginas are just inner-penises or that it’s possible for your precious pussay to come bearing a set of teeth, like it’s a fucking Venus fly trap or something.

Anyway, I cannot believe I’m about to type such a quote, and I’m not even drunk yet, but as the great Corinne Olympios once said, “My heart is gold, but my vagine is platinum.” So leave the lack of faith to your boyfriend and stop believing these dumb fucking myths you heard about your fine china. It deserves better than that.

1. A Lot Of Sex Makes Your Vagina “Loose”

Throwing a hot dog down a hallway, feeding a tic-tac to a whale, dropping a pencil down a mineshaft—yeah, men think they’re so fucking funny. We’ve heard the slut-shaming nicknames before, more commonly given to that one hoe in A-Chi-O way back when. But in reality, joke’s on us because that bitch is living her best life with a tight-ass vajayjay. Unlike men, vaginas don’t let us down. They are biologically resilient, just like our livers after a night of binge drinking, so the idea that a vagina becomes stretched out like a broken slinky after having too much sex is stupid. Not only does it expand to accommodate size, which is why I’m never having kids it also snaps back to its OG form shortly after sex or childbirth, unless you’re popping out an entire litter. A girl who may seem more ‘loose’ is actually just more aroused because the vagina also does this cool thing where it always comes (no pun intended) fully prepared. Moral of the story: always do your kegels.

2. You Can Lose A Tampon Inside Of Your Vagina

If you tried to tell me that you’ve never had a minor panic attack after going fishing through your cave of wonders for a tampon, then you’re really fucking lucky, but mostly you’re just a liar. Thankfully, given the anatomy of the vagina, you’ve only got a few inches until you hit the cervix barrier. Idk why the hell it feels like it’s 6 feet deep at times, but Google couldn’t answer that for me, so. The good news is, there’s an actual 0% chance your tamp will be floating around in your stomach by lunch time.

3. Douching Is Good For You

Remember when douching was like god’s gift to a squeaky clean vagine? Yeah, me either. It sucked then, and it sucks now. Idk who in their right mind still does this, but apparently douching can fuck up the balance of good and bad bacteria even more than that floral Summer’s Eve shit I still buy. So more than likely, that lavender vanilla vagine scent you’re going for will quickly turn to rotten fish in no time due to the good bacteria being flushed by your nasty box mop. Also, there’s a reason we call idiot men ‘douchebags’, fucking duh.

 

4. Finding Your G-Spot Is Key To Mind-Numbing Orgasms

K, calm the fuck down, Carrie Bradshaw. First off, if you still haven’t had a G-spot orgasm, that sucks for you it’s probably too late to start. Second, all these scientific idiots can’t seem to make up their damn mind about whether or not a G-spot actually exists, so no need to flip out. Save yourself some hard-earned dollars and cancel your Amazon order of unnecessary g-spot toys, and maybe invest in something like a solid vibrator, or idk, a new partner. Because as some old random explorer once said, “It’s not about the destination, it’s about how much fun you have on the journey getting there.”

5. The Vagina Is The Same As A Penis, Just Tucked Inside

I honestly can’t believe I’m including this one on this list, but then again, an orange potato is running our country so here we are. I don’t care how comparable the clitoris is to the tip of a penis, if you were to reach up in there and pull a vagina out of the body, a fucking shaft will not magically appear, and if it does, we’ve got bigger problems here.

So yes, your clitoris actually does have similar qualities to a penis (nerve endings, sole purpose, swells when aroused, sensitive AF, blah blah blah), but all that junk on the inside of your body? Nope, not the same. Next.

6. Men Prefer Your Vagina To Be Bare-Shaven

Idk why women have been trained to believe that all men prefer vaginas to look as bald as my Ralph’s rotisserie chicken, but that’s not a thing. Guys don’t want to be reminded of their 10-year-old sister when fucking some girl from a bar. American Apparel did a great job in breaking the mold when they debuted mannequins with giant pube ‘fros, but then again, American Apparel went out of business prob due to the heinous bush gardens on full display, so JK on that. In some random survey I found, 38% of men prefer a woman to groom but to at least have something down there, and only 9% of fuckboys have actually ended a date because of a women’s grooming habits (lol ok). So really what I’m getting at is that if Cameron Diaz is an advocate for freeing the pubes, then you don’t need to resemble a raw cutlet to get some.

Whatever, I’m still not cancelling my wax apt.

7. All Labia Look The Same

Note to anyone who’s ever taken a hand mirror to their lady bits, vaginas ain’t always pretty. When exploring your feminine fortress, it’s normal to come across flaps and traps you may think aren’t normal sized or shaped, but unless you’re starring in the next Lawrence of a Labia film, you’ll never have a “designer vagina”. To help this case further, some pervert artist even sculpted a bunch of vulvas out of clay to show that no two vaginas look the same. I’ll let you look that one up.

8. If It Doesn’t Smell Like Roses, Houston, We Have A Problem

It’s time you start giving your muff a little more credit. I already told you that your vag won’t let you down, and I meant it. It may contain more bacteria than anywhere else in your body, but it’s also a self-cleansing organ and handles pH like a fucking boss. A little bit of odor is normal, and can also change depending on your menstrual cycle, change of diet, choice of activity… basically any time. In other words, maybe don’t hit up SoulCycle on day two of your period to avoid smelling like your dog’s canned dinner, you know? But if you’re really feeling like your stench trench is totally out of whack, idk maybe hit up your OBGYN, but whatever you do, don’t you fucking dare pay a visit to WebMD, because you will have chlamydia. And die.

READ: What Your Birth Control Says About You