Planning sucks, and bachelorette parties are a ton of work. So we’re taking all the guesswork out of planning a bachelorette party by breaking down top bachelorette destinations. Our guides will tell you where to stay, eat, party, how to get around, and give you a sample itinerary that you can follow. You’re welcome.
Cool kids will know Savannah from the oh-so-famous Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil book and film. This southern port city is a little #dirtier than Charleston and a little fancier than New Orleans. It’s the perfect mix of genteel and honky-tonk. If you don’t know what those words mean, it’s probably for the best.
This magical spot in Georgia has hospitality, heat, hipsters, and h…amazing food. There are quite a few bachelorette parties passing through here, but it’s for a reason, obviously. Savannah is the spot to consider for your bride tribe trip.
How To Get There
Savannah is an easy drive from southern cities like Charlotte, Raleigh, Atlanta, Knoxville, and Charleston, so if you’re close to any of those areas, hop in the car, make a Spotify playlist, and set your Google Maps to Savannah (and pray it doesn’t get you lost).
The rest of us losers can grab a flight to Savannah Hilton Head International Airport, which has direct flights to Dallas, Houston, DC, NYC, Miami, Charlotte, Chicago, Philly, and a handful of other cities.
Roundtrip nonstop flights from major airports in NYC and most of the east coast start at around $200, and flights from Chicago or elsewhere in the Midwest are priced about double. Dallas and deep South travelers are looking at around $350, and West coast people can snag a flight for about $500.
Once you get to the airport in Savannah, you can grab an Uber or Lyft to bring you to the center of Savannah, where I assume you’re ready to throw your sh*t down in your weekend abode. Speaking of…
Where To Stay
Savannah is kind of a sprawling southern city, as in there are a ton of different kinds of places to stay. There are quite a few bed and breakfast options, but since the houses are small and kind of fancy, they may not be the best option for a loud group of blackout bitches. If you’re more of the mind that a hotel is where it’s at, the Perry Lane Hotel is super trendy, boutique, and has an amazing rooftop bar so you can get an obnoxious Insta to kick off the weekend. Andaz Savannah is another great option in the historic district, and there’s also Moon River Brewing Company, which is allegedly haunted, if you’re into spooky sh*t.
Bohemian Hotel Savannah Riverfront and The Cotton Sail Hotel Savannah are great options too, since they’re right on the river, which is where you can walk around, and great food is literally everywhere. Plus, Savannah, like New Orleans, does not have open container laws, so you can walk around with your drinks worry-free. It’s a stellar area to stumble on cobblestones like old-timey drunks. This is the epitome of culture, guys.
There are also, of course, lots of Airbnbs, so pick whichever better suits your party’s needs. Pro tip: stay in or around the River Street and historic area, as it makes for the easiest walking and the easiest drinking.
How To Get Around
It kind of goes without saying, but Uber is going to be your bestie if you aren’t walking in Savannah. If you stay mostly around the riverfront and historic areas, walking to restaurants and bars is totally doable without the help of a ride service. If you want to venture over to SCAD for #art or walk around Forsyth Park, though, you may want to split a car.
The ferry also runs pretty constantly across the river if you want to see what that’s all about, but if you need a legit beach day at Tybee Island, you’ll need to drive about 30 minutes. Honestly, you can probs do without it; there’s plenty to do in and around the city without having to go a half hour out of your way (though if you find yourself back in the Savannah area, you should def make the trip to Tybee Island).
Where To Eat
Well, it’s Savannah, so there better be fried chicken, mac and cheese, and a whole lotta sweet tea. You’ll also need biscuits and gravy to soak up all the alcohol.
Speaking of binge drinking, though, before you get to eating, you’ll need to make a very important stop at Wet Willie’s. This place boasts slushies that contain a lot A LOT of alcohol and, yes, it’s a chain, but this is a chain we can respect for its commitment to getting you f*cked up. When I went to Savannah for my own bachelorette party, I remember one and a half slushies, and then a whole lot of nothing. Apparently, I was so hopped up on booze and sugar that I went to the historic square, made friends with a horse, crashed a mead tasting, booted, rallied, then did a FaceTime striptease for my then fiancé (with two of his three sisters in the room). Pro tip: If you get to Wet Willie’s and order the infamous “Call A Cab”, don’t drink anything else for AT LEAST 20 minutes.
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#partyparty #birthdaycontinues Thank you Jamie #mysisterrocks #countrygirl ♡
After you destroy your body with booze, there are a few amazing restaurants perfect for a fancy night. Stop by Sorry Charlie’s Oyster Bar for champagne and fresh oysters before dinner, but get there on the early side unless you want to wait. Once you’re ready to really eat, there are tons of amazing food options around the city. The Grey has been lauded by numerous mags for its imaginative take on southern soul food. Helmed by Chef Mashama Bailey and housed in an old Greyhound bus station, it’s amazing. Pro tip: don’t miss anything starting with the words “fried” or “smothered”.
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The Olde Pink House is another southern food staple, and I had some of the best fried chicken of my life there. That’s saying something because at the time, I was recovering from vomiting for two hours and having to be hosed off by my bridesmaids #noregrets. Not in the mood for chicken? Get anything that has the locally-caught shrimp.
Mrs. Wilkes Dining Room is another southern spot (worth the lines) where you can dine more family style. And if you’re just f*cking over southern food by the end of the weekend, get some tacos at Bull Street Taco or pizza at Vinnie Van GoGo’s.
When brunch calls (which it inevitably will), my fav options included Clary’s Cafe, where you NEED to get the pecan sticky bun on the side of your Hoppel Poppel—a terrible name for a scramble of eggs, salami, potatoes, onions, and peppers, served with a bagel and cream cheese. Don’t make that face—it’s EXACTLY what you need before a day of drinking. Honorable brunch mentions also go to The Public Kitchen & Bar (get their breakfast sandwich and/or the shrimp and grits) and Back In The Day Bakery, which is a little far for brunch, but is a great option for car ride biscuits on your way out of town.
What To Do
During the day, walking and exploring the city are kind of the name of the game in Savannah. There are tons of public parks and green spaces, so the city is a great choice if your favorite thing to do is drinking and wandering aimlessly. Aside from that, there are a few cute spots to stop by. Walk to the house of Juliette Gordon Low, who founded The Girl Scouts and is responsible for their many delicious cookies. Pour one out for that homie. You can also walk through Forsyth Park, which hosts a gorgeous fountain and many, many Insta opportunities. Oh, and don’t forget that Savannah allows open containers throughout the city, so sitting in a park with bottles of wine is totally allowed. It’s just like Europe, guys!
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You can also stroll over to City Market, where you’ll find everything from food to souvenirs to booze. There are also quite a few bars in the area so you can stop and drink if you aren’t already. This is where the aforementioned Wet Willie’s sits… just saying. The market is spread out over four blocks and is close to River Street, so it’s also a good option if you’re looking for a way to kill time or bar hop before dinner.
Another stroll-friendly area is River Street, which has tons of shops, bars, and restaurants on one side and the Savannah River on the other. You can waste a ton of time here, so if drunk shopping is a sport to you, consider this your Olympic field.
If you’re interested in a beach stop, head to Tybee Island, as I mentioned, about 20-30 minutes away. There’s not a ton to do aside from the beach and a few little bars and shops, though, so pack a picnic (i.e. a lot of booze and snacks), then plan on how you’ll get back to Savannah.
Where To Drink
My first choice hands down, is the Savannah Smiles Dueling Pianos. I don’t have a legitimate answer as to why, except that we went here during my bachelorette and had an absolutely amazing and hilarious time. Rocks on the Roof is another great option, especially if you want food while you drink. Their small plates are delightful. Both the piano bar and Rocks are on River Street, too, so you can just pop from one to the other.
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During the day, stop somewhere like Churchill’s or Six Pence Pub. Both are British-owned with tons of beer, fun decor, and an opportunity for you to try out your British accent. I’m sure everyone will love it and they’ve neeeever heard anyone on a bachelorette do that before.
If you’re looking for a club-type atmosphere, you need to (sigh) go to Saddle Bags. The food is fried and pretty terrible, but there’s a dance floor where you can embarrass yourself, cheap drinks, and a mechanical bull. Tree House Savannah is also really loud, has questionable decor, and live music.
Friday, Day 1
- Land at Savannah International Airport, question your decision to eat that Cinn-a-Bon this morning
- Arrive at the hotel/Airbnb and unpack before heading to River Street for drinks at Rocks on the Roof and Bernie’s Oyster House.
- Dinner at The Shrimp Factory where you can take a lot of really obnoxious photos, since you’re riverside, and order literally all of the appetizers.
- Walk to any of the bars lining River Street and drink your weight in shots (but don’t actually, cause you’ll die).
- Sleep in preparation for tomorrow and try not to puke up all the seafood you ate.
Saturday, Day 2
- Hey Y’ALL.
- Brunch at The Collins Quarter where you’ll pretend to share Drunken Berry Mimosas, avocado toast, and a lot of their Swine Time Bennes.
- Stumble to City Market, where you can shop around, act fancy, and hit up some adorable shopping. Bonus points if you stop at Wet Willie’s during this time.
- Time for lunch and afternoon drinks at The Lady & Sons, where you can put on your best Paula Deen impression and eat a f*ckton of butter.
- Head back to the hotel/Airbnb to get ready for a your fancy dinner at The Grey, where you’ll all wear black dresses and the bride wears a white dress and sash and everyone will think you’re extra.
- It’s booze-thirty! Take an Uber to River Street and make sure to hit Saddle Bags and Savannah Smiles Dueling Pianos.
- Stumble back to the hotel/Airbnb and get ready for tomorrow’s hangover. This is 30.
Sunday, Day 3
- Brunch at Clary’s Cafe where you pray that the sticky pecan roll will soak up the evil in your body while you dry heave into a paper bag.
- Head back to the hotel/Airbnb to pack and trek to the airport while being very quiet and wearing very big sunglasses.
- Call out sick from work tomorrow. You’re gonna need a day (or three) to recover. And be sure y’all come back now, y’hear?
Images: Ashley Knedler / Unsplash; atnelly, bohemiansavannah, kc_i.heart.nc, thegreysavannah, theoldepinkhouse, lifesickles, hermannelizabeth / Instagram
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About this time every year the entire country (or maybe the whole world, IDK) freaks the fuck out over Girl Scout cookies. Weird kids who like camping and being nice come to your door in creepy-ass uniforms and the mom posse at work sends mass emails about ordering on time. And then a passive-aggressive fight breaks out over whose kid you’re going to order from, and then Debbie stops getting invited to the after-work happy hours and you all have to pretend it’s not weird, and … wait, where was I? Oh yeah. While normally all that pestering would annoy the shit out of me, when it comes to Thin Mints and Tagalongs you can spam my inbox all fucking day. So to get you ready for cookie season (which cruelly comes right before beach season, WHY), we’re ranking all of the treats by betchiness so you know which ones to buy and which ones are total social suicide.
12. Do-si-dos/Peanut Butter Sandwiches
Look, it’s a Girl Scout cookie so it’s not like it’s bad or anything, it’s just not great. First, let’s talk about these names. On the one hand, you’ve got Do-si-do, which makes me feel like I’m at a square dance. Also, I’m not sure what hoe-downs have to do with peanut butter and oatmeal. Speaking of, your alternative name is “Peanut Butter Sandwich”—real inventive. Then you get to the cookie, which is just two (chocolate chip-less) oatmeal cookies with peanut butter in the middle. Whatever you call these, they’re fat and lumpy and ugly. Kinda like you will be after you eat a whole box of ’em.
11. Trios
Another oatmeal cookie. Bleh. The Trio has chocolate chips in it, though, so it just beats out the Do-si-do. But really, if you’re going to spend $6—or whatever ungodly amount they’re charging these days—on some fucking oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, it’s time to look at your life, look at your choices.
10. S’mores
“Crunchy graham sandwich cookies with creamy chocolate and marshmallowy filling” sounds pretty good and all, but we fail to see how these differ from Oreo S’mores, which you can literally buy for half the price at Target. “But think of the children!” you say. Ok. Fine. On a less cheap note, these things are the newest to the cookie roster and you’ve gotta pay your dues before you get to sit with the plastics classics.
9. S’mores
That’s not a typo; there are two s’mores flavored cookies that are both creatively named “Girl Scout S’mores”. Like, what? You mean to tell me Tagalongs have two different names depending on what region of the country you’re in, but you couldn’t come up with a separate name for a whole other cookie? Normally I’d admire that type of commitment to not doing work, but that shit is just laziness. Do better, Girl Scouts. Anyway, this shit is essentially a graham cracker that’s dipped in “crème icing” aka fake marshmallow shit and then covered in chocolate. Anything that’s covered in chocolate is a definite yes in my book (future lovers, take note), but Girl Scouts really shot itself in the foot with the description on this one. “Our new crispy graham cookie double dipped in yummy crème icing and finished with a scrumptious chocolatey coating (WHOA!)” “WHOA!”? Really? Does this really warrant an all-caps WHOA? The person who wrote this description is the type of person who talks about how “naughty” they’re being when they order fries at a restaurant instead of a side salad. I cannot, in good conscience, award this cookie any higher of a place on the betch scale.
8. Trefoils/Shortbreads
Trefoils are kind of like that teacher at your high school who only does the bare minimum and you wonder how they’re still there when you go back to visit for your 10th year reunion. The answer, for both the teacher and this cookie, is tenure. Trefoils are a pretty good option when you want to eat dessert but also partake in some cognitive dissonance, i.e. “There’s not even chocolate or anything in this cookie, so it can’t be that bad!” False. It can be that bad, because I’m sure these things are straight butter. Look, there’s even a sugar cube next to it in the picture! So anyway, while I’m sure we’ll have to pry these cookies from Juliette Gordon Low’s dead hands, Trefoils are actually pretty basic and not that great. Plus, the Girl Scouts have gone fucking ham with flavored shortbread cookie options lately (we’ll get to those later) so you might as well branch out and not be a dud.
7. Toffee-tastics
There’s not much else to say about Toffee-tastics. I’ve never heard of them in my life, and they’re a regular-ass shortbread cookie with some toffee thrown in for a little excitement. They’re kinda like, the Danielle M. of Girl Scout cookies. Bonus betch points awarded for being gluten free, though.
6. Lemonades
Meet the lemon version of a Trefoil. It’s not gluten free so you’re probably wondering why it’s higher up than Toffee-tastic, and that’s because unlike the Grammys we here at Betches appreciate Beyoncé and the creative genius that is Lemonade and want to show it some love. Beyhive for life (please don’t come after us).
5. Thanks-A-Lots
Finally the last shortbread. Someone in the kitchen is the fucking Gretchen Weiners of shortbread, and Girl Scouts really needs to get out more and come up with some new ideas. Shortbread? For cookies? Groundbreaking. Anyway, this one is at the top of its friend group because it’s dipped in chocolate (see my previous note). But it’s not higher up on the list in general because it’s called a Thanks-A-Lot. Like bitch, what are you thanking me for? You’re thanking me for eating you? That’s like your friend Karen who catches her boyfriend cheating, only to end up apologizing for “not appreciating him enough.” We don’t like Delusional Daters or delusional cookies, so the best these are gonna get is the middle of the pack.
4. Savannah Smiles
Is this what that girl from Mean Girls was talking about when she said she wanted to bake a cake of rainbows and smiles?? Whoa. I think I’m onto something here. Savannah Smiles are cute little tea cookies dusted in powdered sugar, and they look like something you snacked on at cotillion class before your Deb Ball. V betchy. They’re also not going to make you (as) fat because there are only 140 calories in five cookies. And if you’re eating more than five in one session, you need therapy. Or Jesus.
3. Tagalongs/Peanut Butter Patties
First things first, wtf is a Peanut Butter Patty? Just no. I am ride or die for Team Tagalong. You can put that on my gravestone. If I had to guess, TAGALONGS are like 50% of the population’s fave, and it’s easy to see why. It’s peanut butter on top of a cookie and then the whole thing is covered in chocolate and sprinkled with hopes and dreams. It only loses points for being one of the unhealthiest cookies, but fuck it. I said I was ride or die, and I choose death by Tagalong.
2. Samoas/Caramel deLites
God these are so fucking good. They’re covered in caramel and dark chocolate and coconut, so it’s safe to say they’re the most sophisticated of all the cookies. Samoas are def the most inventive in terms of shape, texture, and flavor combination. Also, they have a hole in the middle which allows us to pretend they’re less calories than the other fully circular cookies. The only reason Samoas aren’t number 1 is because we’re not sure if the name is vaguely racist or not. Are you still allowed to say Samoa?
1. Thin Mints
Fucking duh. The day they get rid of Thin Mints will be the day hell freezes over. Actually, given that our country is run by a moldy fascist clementine and New York City’s weather forecast is a page out of the 28 Days Later screenplay, that’s probably not such a good metaphor. But you get my point: Thin Mints are amazing. You can eat them plain. You can freeze them and crumble them on ice cream. You can make alcoholic Thin Mint milkshakes. The limit on your fatness truly does not exist when Thin Mints are involved. And in case their versatility wasn’t enough, they’re vegan—but we bet you didn’t even know that because they’re not constantly broadcasting it. All hail Thin Mints.
