Definitive Ranking Of The Trump Officials Getting Yelled At In Restaurant

The worst thing at a restaurant is when your in the middle of a heated convo and the waiter comes up to see if you need another refill, clearly interrupting a private convo and you just have to quickly pretend everything is fine, when it’s not. You fake a smile and say check please, then turn back to whatever Brad/Chad is across from you, but now the fight is ruined and you didn’t even get to say your final zinger. Now take that experience and multiply it by a thousand, and you might know what it is like to be a Trump official trying to waste money eat out these days.  There is a new trend of people confronting Trump’s staff and trusted advisors while they are out to dinner, and we are here for it. Some of these confrontations are super awk and some end in drama. Here’s a ranking of the confrontations from worst to best.

Nikki Haley

U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley claimed via twitter that she and her son were booed out of a restaurant in New York during the Pride Parade last month. If you think way back to 2013 and think about bathroom drama, you may remember that South Carolina had laws forcing trans people to use the bathroom for the gender they were assigned at birth. Nikki Haley opposed an amendment to that law, and people are still booing her for that five years later. (Probs has more to do with her being Trump affiliated, but whatever.) This gets a low ranking because there isn’t a video to go along with it and she didn’t even type out the word including in her very short tweet. Also nothing came out of this so it’s a weak 4/10.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

The official mouth piece of the Trump Administration got shut up pretty quickly when she and her family were asked to leave a restaurant by the owner moments after being seated. According to Facebook Russia the owner thought Sanders morals conflicted with her own and asked her to leave, so she and her fam did. This is a 5/10 in my book. Seriously people no video? Even 2 year olds have an iPad with them at restaurants now and not one person in this restaurant caught this on camera! Who wouldn’t love to see a frazzled Huckabee Sanders struggling for words to make sense of an awkward situation? Oh, I guess we can just watch every press conference she’s ever held. Nvm can totally picture it now.

Kirstjen Neilsen

Remember that whole “separating children from their families at the border” thing that is still low-key not resolved? Well, right at the height of that bs,  Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen decided it was appropriate to dine at a Mexican restaurant. No bueno. Not only was Kirstjen-with-a-j booed out of the place, but people also started yelling shame at her like an episode of Game of Thrones. We even wrote about this one at the time because it was so crazy. This is a solid 7/10 because one there is a super awk video of people booing her while she pretends like nothing is happening. And I mean, she is being protested over the separation of immigrant families at the border while eating Mexican food. You just can’t even make that shit up. The restaurant was chill enough to acknowledge that immigration issues affect a lot of their staff so they allowed the protest to continue. Safe to say her guac was def extra and a half.

Scott Pruitt

Dirty Scott Pruitt of the Environmental Protection Agency is/was prob the most scandalous person in the Trump Administration. Pruitt has gotten a lot of heat for his outrageous spending on private air travel, a $43k soundproof booth, trying to finagle his wife a job a Chic-Fil-A and honestly so much other bizarre shit paid for by our taxpayer dollars. In addition to that, he is a climate denier in charge of the EPA, so it’s basically been the Environment Destruction Agency since he was appointed. Pruitt was confronted by a mother with her child on her hip and they got a video! It doesn’t show the whole encounter, but according to the woman she felt the need to tell Scott he was ruining the planet for her son and all future generations. True.

The best part of this story? Pruitt literally resigned just days later. This gets a 10/10 for having both results and a video, praise be. If publicly shaming people while they eat to get better political policy is a trend that works, then Trump may want to start paying for everyone’s Uber Eats to avoid anymore resignations.

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4 Predictions For What Sarah Sanders Will Do When She Quits

Last night it was rumored that yet another White House staffer was asked to return to their loft, pack their bags, put out their tiki torch, and go home. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka The Secretary of Scowl, was supposedly preparing to jet set from the South Lawn according to CBS news. In true Trumpian form, Sanders accused the media of lying and said she had told them of no such plans, which is Sanders-speak for “oh yeah that’s totally true.” 

Does @CBSNews know something I don’t about my plans and my future? I was at my daughter’s year-end Kindergarten event and they ran a story about my “plans to leave the WH” without even talking to me. I love my job and am honored to work for @POTUS

— Sarah Sanders (@PressSec) June 14, 2018

News outlets have keenly pointed out that she never said that what they reported was incorrect, just that she hadn’t spoken with them about any departure plans. Assuming that Sanders will follow in the footsteps of approximately 99.9% of her coworkers, and leave without a proper two weeks notice, what could she possibly get into next?

Sell LulaRoe

Something about Sarah Huckabee just screams “I want to spend my free time on Facebook scamming and spamming my close friends.” I think her skills line up perfectly with “social media pyramid scheme.”

Get Into Crossfit

Ya know, I know a ton of people who when going through a big lifer change, be it career, personal, or spiritual, have found these intense workouts very therapeutic. I can imagine there’s a lot of stress she needs to unload from her days as Press Secretary and could probably let some of it out throwing a giant leaded ball at a wall or whatever they do in those fitness garages.

Become The Mean Vice Principal of a Middle School

I’m not sure Sanders has the charisma to be a principal of a middle school, but she’s definitely the side muscle – aka the enforcer of rules. Every kid in that school would adhere to the policy to avoid having to visit her in her office. When not yelling at small children, she would wander the halls with a spiked ruler in hand just to raise the fear surrounding her.

Ask to Talk To Someone’s Manager

This isn’t a job or hobby per se, but Sanders has that je n’ais se quoi about her that lets you know she’d demanded to talk to whoever is in charge. I am willing to bet money that she has approached random people of color in a Target and started asking them questions as if they worked there, despite them not wearing a uniform. I’m also not convinced that this woman is not, in fact, Sarah Sanders:

Manage Her Dad’s Standup Career

As we know all too well, Mike Huckabee, Sanders’ father and former governor of Arkansas, fancies himself a funny boy on Twitter.com. The two can spend some quality time together on the road where Huckabee opens up for Jeff Foxworthy knockoffs.

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!