This season, instead of mindlessly buying another pair of $200 out-of-style riding boots, let’s try something new. I mean, you don’t slave over Excel at your miserable 9-5 just to spend your precious paycheck on some fugly fall boots, right? Look, I get it, shopping is hard (for some). And sure, you could easily just hit up Payless with Meemaw and get another pair of tacky-ass tall brown boots, but WHY?! You’re better than that, which is why I’m here writing this article. I’m here to help you. I’m here to be a friend to you, and to take the frustration out of all your fall shoe shopping woes. So I give you the only five shoes you need for fall and exactly where to get them.
1. Staple Black Boot
Just like every girl needs a staple LBD, every girl needs a staple black boot. It’s a fall closet essential because it pairs well with legit everything. Plus, when you get home from day drinking, wasted from all those delish spiked ciders, attempting to get ready for the night to keep that weekend bender going, do you really want to use what few brain cells you have left for the day trying to figure out what shoe to wear with your dress? Didn’t think so. Just make it easier on your poor blacked-out self and get yourself staple black fall boots.
2. Statement Sneaker
Whether you’re into a chunky sneaker or not, statement sneakers are like, totally in this fall. They’re a stylish shoe option that is also super comfortable. So like, if you’re not on board, get on board. It’s not every day we get a trend that’s actually comfortable. You can get anything from a chunky white dad sneaker to this chic feminine version of Air Force Ones. Either way, you’ll be happy you have them in your closet this fall.
3. Animal Print Boots
Stop being afraid of animal print and think of it as a new neutral. Sounds counterintuitive, I know, but trust me it is. An animal print can pretty much go with any outfit. It instantly takes your basic look to a much cooler level. Snake print in particular usually comes in neutral colors. So wear this animal print to totally elevate your otherwise boring AF turtleneck and jeans this season.
4. Thigh Highs
Hoes, rejoice! Thigh highs are yet again a fall essential, allowing you to wear your inappropriate leather skirt or way-too-short dress, even when it’s cold outside. They’re like, basically a godsend while waiting in line for those sh*tty bars you didn’t even want to go to in the first place. Trust me, embrace this trend.
5. Slouchy Boots
Pair with a skirt and tights, and you’ll instantly look chic as hell. As the name would suggest, slouchy boots give that effortlessly stylish look we all crave. Warning, though: women 20 years your senior will feel the constant need to tell you about how they wore these boots “back in the day.” But I guess that’s a relatively small price to pay for looking sooo damn good.
So there you have it, no need to stress or make your fall shopping any harder than necessary. I’m going to give each and every one of you the benefit of the doubt, and assume that if you’re intelligent enough to be reading this article, then you’re smart enough to stop wasting your money on hideous things…like fugly boots.
Images: Danny G / Unsplash; Net-A-Porter; Nike; Revolve; Steve Madden (2); Chinese Laundry; Free People
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