Celebrity scandals are what I live for. Okay, that is a slight exaggeration. But I love the thrill of knowing a new piece of gossip that lowers the level of perfection my fav celebrities have and makes them seem more human. 2017 was a pretty good year for celebrity scandals, but the celebrity scandals of 2018 did not disappoint. From feuds with the President to cheating scandals, 2018 was a dramatic AF year. Personally, I’m just glad it’s almost over. Then again, I said that about 2017, and 2018 turned out to be a way worse year. Well, whatever. I guess I have no way of knowing. Anyway, in no particular order, here were the biggest celebrity scandals of 2018.
1. Stormy Daniels Vs. Donald Trump
The year started off with a BANG. On January 12, the Wall Street Journal disclosed that Trump’s lawyer paid Stormy $130,000 of hush money a month before the 2016 elections. After this was publicized, it snowballed into a major scandal, as it always does when Trump is involved. In October, Stormy appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live and disclosed some juicy gossip. If you want to know what the President’s penis looks like, I highly recommend watching it (if you haven’t already), or you can read this article where we broke it down. Or—and this is what I recommend—you could do neither and live your life in a relative state of bliss, never knowing the details of our president’s penis.
2. Tristan Thompson Cheatin
In April, a day before Khloé Kardashian gave birth to their daughter True, TMZ released videos of Tristan cheating on Koko. There had been rumors in the past of Tristan cheating, but it takes a real a**hole to cheat on his girlfriend WHILE SHE IS IN LABOR. While the couple has stayed rather hush-hush about the major scandal, Kim Kardashian (thank god) couldn’t keep her opinions to herself. She said, “I hate him. Sorry not sorry.” You bet I’m watching this season of KUWTK to see all the drama unfold.
3. Allison Mack Sex Trafficking Scandal
WTF. Former Smallville actress Allison Mack was charged with sex trafficking, sex trafficking conspiracy, and forced labor conspiracy for her involvement with the organization NXIVM. Women were recruited to join the alleged sex cult that was branded as “a female mentorship group that addressed their weaknesses.” Well, that’s one way to put it. She is currently out on a $5 million bond and under house arrest in her parents’ California home. And my parents wouldn’t even let me come home if I got a public urination ticket.
4. The Markle Family Drama
Every family has their fair share of drama when it comes time for a wedding. But Meghan and Harry’s wedding had a unique set of dramatic events. First, Meghan’s half-sister, Samantha Markle, started commenting on multiple “mistakes” she believes Meghan has been making. Rightfully so, Meghan decided the only family members to be invited to her wedding would be her father and mother. But wait, there’s more (obvs). After news broke that Meghan’s father staged photos for the paparazzi to take of him and earned some money, he decided he would not be attending the wedding “because he was getting heart surgery that same day”. I guess becoming a princess really isn’t as glamorous as I thought.
5. Kylie Jenner’s Secret Pregnancy
This list wouldn’t be complete without the most ULTIMATE secret celebrity pregnancy of all time. Although rumors started circulating in September 2017, Kylie’s pregnancy was not *officially* revealed until the birth of her daughter, Stormi, in February through an incredible video. But that didn’t stop fans from coming up with the most absurd theories for her pregnancy, including that she was Kim’s surrogate or her baby daddy was actually her bodyguard. Nonetheless, this was one of the biggest celebrity scandals of the year.
6. Nicki Minaj and Cardi B… Still
The drama between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj has been brewing since early 2017, but the real tea spilled at the Harper’s Bazaar ICONS party on September 7, 2018. A physical fight broke out at New York Fashion Week, where Cardi threw her heel at Nicki, but ended up with a bruise on her own face. Like, LMK how that happens. The feud is never-ending. It even led Cardi to post some nasty words about Nicki on Instagram. The timeline of their fight is too exhausting to even think about so read all the details here.
7. Roseanne, The Racist
Twitter tends to be the source of many large scandals these days, and TBH, I’m not mad about it. But the glory of the internet is that even though something may be deleted, we can always find it. On May 28th, Roseanne took to Twitter to address Valerie Jarett, Barack Obama’s adviser, and wrote “Muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby = vj.” ABC worked fast and canceled her show revival immediately and released a statement explaining that her views do not align with theirs. She then got dropped by her talent agent and Roseanne reruns were no longer showed on Viacom channels. What did Roseanne have to say about this? She blames the tweets on the Ambien she had taken. Which literally nobody believed, and even the creators of Ambien clarified is not a real side effect.
People of all races, religions and nationalities work at Sanofi every day to improve the lives of people around the world. While all pharmaceutical treatments have side effects, racism is not a known side effect of any Sanofi medication.
— Sanofi US (@SanofiUS) May 30, 2018
When you get burned by a pharmaceutical company, take every seat.
Images: Giphy (2); @iamcardib / Instagram ; SanofiUS / Twitter
As the old saying goes, “If you’re a racist and you take some Ambien, you’re now a racist with Ambien in your system.” These are the facts. As we all know, Roseanne Barr tried to debunk this old saying and blame her racist tweet about Valerie Jarrett on the fact that she had taken Ambien that night, but turns out that’s not a solid argument in the eyes of anyone with a functioning brain some people. Roseanne, if you’re reading this (I don’t see why you wouldn’t be) , may I offer a hot tip from me to you: blaming the drugs you took that night only works when apologizing for the 2 hour Snapchat video you took of the EDM concert in its entirety and sent to all of your contacts. The tweet you made to prove you’re a raging racist? Not so much. Maybe blame that one on your racism. Just a thought!
Anyway, since the world is full of idiots, there is debate over whether or not the tweet was racist, and if Roseanne herself is racist. I will give you a small hint: they both are. Comparing a black woman to an ape is racist as all fuck, and being someone who would do that makes you a racist. Still don’t think Roseanne is a bigot because of one measly tweet where she said something extremely racist? No prob, I’ve done some hardcore Googling investigating and found some other shit Roseanne has done and said that show we really should have seen this coming. And by we I mean ABC. Anyway, now that it’s too late, here’s some general fuckery Roseanne Barr has spewed in the past. You’re welcome? Sorry? Idk.
That Time She Said Susan Rice Has “Ape Balls”
You know this wasn't Roseanne Barr first time calling a black woman an ape — pic.twitter.com/zGLTNE6ZPv
— GEEZY (@GRYKING) May 29, 2018
Look, we know it’s supes important to have an online brand, but maybe go with something besides making comments about how black women have the same traits as apes. It’s not cute. It’s…what’s the word I’m looking for…undeniable racist. That’s it. Great, next.
That Time She Got On Board With 4Chan Conspiracies
I always thought 4chan was where male virgins go to group chat about how women who have jobs are witches, but I guess they also dabble in conspiracy theories about how celebs and Dems have an underground circle of child sex slaves. Cute. Like I was saying, there’s some adorable conspiracy theory that the world is run by a deep state group of Democrats and celebs, and Trump is about to single-small-handedly them all down. Sounds legit. According to a Daily Beast article, this 4Chan based theory is called QAnon. Because if you’re going to have a baseless conspiracy theory, you simply must give it a name that sounds like a knock-off Viagra that isn’t approved by the FDA. Anyway, in a tweet that has since been deleted, Roseanne said:
“President Trump has freed so many children held in bondage to pimps all over this world. Hundreds each month. He has broken up trafficking rings in high places everywhere.notice that. I disagree on some things, but give him benefit of the doubt-4 now.”
K.
My fav part about all of this, is that according to the previously mentioned Daily Beast article, Roseanne tried to reach out to QAnon on Twitter. Is he a person? Roseanne seemed to think so. She even tweeted, “tell Qanon to DM me in the nexxt 24 hours,” one night.
Roseanne Barr to QAnon: U up?
That Time She Tweeted That Chelsea Clinton Is Married to a George Soros Relative
Good morning Roseanne – my given middle name is Victoria. I imagine George Soros’s nephews are lovely people. I’m just not married to one. I am grateful for the important work @OpenSociety does in the world. Have a great day! https://t.co/mXokiTEwN7
— Chelsea Clinton (@ChelseaClinton) May 29, 2018
The problem with tweeting about Chelsea Clinton being married to George Soros is that Chelsea Clinton is not married to George Soros. George Soros is a liberal financier, but Roseanne likes to claim that he was a Nazi collaborator. That is also untrue. Do you spy with your little eye a pattern here?
That Time She Tweeted About A Parkland Survivor Giving A Nazi Salute
ICYMI Roseanne replied to a David Hogg conspiracy theorist who tagged the actual boy, but then ABC made her delete it. Don't worry, here's a screenshot: pic.twitter.com/yftDrSdq6b
— Adam Sass (@TheAdamSass) March 27, 2018
That Time She Dressed Up As Hitler For This Weird AF Photoshoot
Kathy Griffin was fired for posting a fake picture of Trump missing his head.
Why is Roseanne not being fired for posting a picture of gingerbread Jews going into an oven while she was dressed as Hitler?@ABC – We're glad to watch the competition until you do the right thing! pic.twitter.com/Qs7Tvm2kbQ
— TOᑭ ᖇOᑭE TᖇAViS ???????? (@TopRopeTravis) March 30, 2018
Lest we forget this terrifying photoshoot from 2009. A lot to unpack here. Mainly that Roseanne is dressed as Hitler and is baking cookies, with the implication that the cookies are Jews from the Holocaust. Not great. Roseanne herself is Jewish, but this is still troubling in…so many ways. Roseanne defended the photos in 2011 during an episode of The Green Room with Paul Provenza and said:
I’m not making fun of people in the ovens … There’s another, deeper layer to it. You know just the everyday. Moving off this Holocaust. There’s been about fifty of them since then. That’s what I’m kind of trying to say. Is like, Jesus Christ it’s so f–king every day now, holocausts, it’s like baking cookies…That’s what I’m trying to say. Let’s stop holocausts.”
My Comedy Writing Professor in College: Tragedy + Time = Comedy
Rosanne Barr: The Holocaust + 50 “Holocausts” + Baking Cookies = Comedy/Let’s stop holocausts!
Much like my annoying coworker, Roseanne Barr keeps claiming she’s going to leave Twitter but then continues to keep tweeting more bullshit. So looks like this list will keep on growing. Amaze.
Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!
Images: Twitter (4)
Expect a bunch of angry Facebook posts about the First Amendment from your uncle in Ohio, because ABC just canceled his favorite TV show. That’s right, the Roseanne revival is no longer, after show creator/star/Trump-loving troll Roseanne Barr tweeted a super-racist “joke” about former Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett and now Roseanne is canceled.
On Tuesday, Barr evidently decided that tweeting conspiracy theories about George Soros wasn’t enough to fill the gaping emptiness inside her, so she hopped on a Twitter conversation about Jarrett, who is African-American. Barr tweeted, “Muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby=vj.” Almost immediately, the internet called her out on her bizarre, racially-charged straight-up racist tweet, despite Barr claiming that it was a joke. (For a woman who makes her living from comedy, it’s v. weird that Barr forgot jokes are supposed to be funny.)
It wasn’t the first time that Barr has gotten controversial on Twitter. She’s messed with Stormy Daniels (dumb move, because Stormy is a social media ICON), and tweeted about all kinds of right-wing conspiracy theories. But up until now, ABC gave her a pass, probs because Roseanne’s ratings were so high that Trump actually stopped golfing for one minute to call and congratulate Barr about them.
Barr deleted the tweet and issued a longer apology, but ABC did the right thing for fucking once and canceled the show, with ABC Entertainment president Channing Dungey saying, “Roseanne’s Twitter statement is abhorrent, repugnant and inconsistent with our values.” Weird how her posing in a Nazi costume while putting human shaped cookies in an oven didn’t tip them off about her views, but, just like with your monthly period, late is better than never.
The only downside to this news is that now you’ll probably be getting a lot more Farmville requests from your uncle while he waits for Last Man Standing to come back on the air.
UPDATE: Roseanne is now blaming her late-night racism on “Ambien tweeting”. First of all “I was on Ambien” works as an excuse for booty calling your ex, not overt racism. Second of all, does this mean that Barr was on Ambien for all the other racist shit she’s done? Has Roseanne Barr been in an Ambien daze for the past five years? Honestly, doesn’t sound that crazy when you think about it…
Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!
Images: Giphy (1)
