This just in, y’all: 2020 might actually be my year after all! Am I saying this because we finally found a vaccine for COVID-19 and can now shed our mole-people skin and live our lives doing truly wild things like breathing indoors amongst other people without covering our mouths and noses? Lol no. Am I saying this because my clip-on bang extensions finally came in the mail and I am about to look fire AF for my next zoom happy hour? Still no (but only because as my mother, hairdresser, the checkout girl at Walgreens, and Sweetest Betch You’ll Ever Meet tried to tell me, I look like a prepubescent boy with bangs). I’m saying this because Cole Sprouse is back on the dating market! That’s right: #Bughead is dead. In the irreverent words of Dylan O’Brien: 2020 is f*cking relentless.
2020 is fucking relentless https://t.co/MsUyqHdGfU
— Dylan O'Brien (@dylanobrien) August 19, 2020
After months of speculation, will they/won’t they articles, and a thorough breadcrumbing of the general public on their relationship status, we finally have confirmation that Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart have broken up. Yesterday Cole took to Instagram to post a picture of what was either a nature candid of Lili or stock image from Taylor Swift’s “Cardigan” music video with a caption detailing the circumstances of his breakup. In the post he wrote:
“Lili and I initially separated in January of this year, deciding to more permanently split in March. What an incredible experience I had, I’ll always feel lucky and cherish that I had the chance to fall in love. I wish her nothing but the utmost love and happiness moving forward. All I’ll say about it, anything else you hear doesn’t matter.
Also her movie comes out soon! I’m sure she’s just as incredible in it as everything else she does. Thanks guys ❤️”
Let’s take a minute to unpack this. First of all, I love that he took the time to clarify the exact date range of their romantic demise. It’s like he knew I was going to research the astrological significance of this time frame so I could use this as a reason to justify why I was ghosted in the spring. Also, the phrasing of a “more permanent split” feels very much like they both felt the weight of COVID and the CDC’s wild guidelines for safe sex during a pandemic and decided their relationship wasn’t worth salvaging—at least not if it meant f*cking through a sheet. Sad!
I will say, as far as breakup posts go, this is very mature and very sweet. He even took the time to plug her new movie! I can’t even get my ex to complete my Venmo request for his last bar tab, let alone get him to do something like encourage people to support my life’s work. For shame.
Cole’s post comes after a rocky year for the couple—like, rockier than the G&G plotline during season three of Riverdale. First there was the now infamous W Magazine cover shoot from the summer of 2019 where the two dressed in Twilight cosplay and looked absolutely miserable together, sparking rumors that the two of them were donezo, only for them to take to Instagram posting THE SAME PHOTOS with the captions “you don’t know sh*t” and successfully trolling us all. We were then treated to a year of musings about the couple’s relationship status, religiously stalking their Instagram feeds looking for any shred of evidence that the two were more than just amicable coworkers.
Then, earlier this summer, Cole was accused of sexual assault by an anonymous Twitter account and, despite speculation of a breakup, Lili rushed to his defense on Twitter. It was later discovered that this account had made multiple false claims and there were no charges filed against Cole.
Which brings us to August 2020. In an interview with Refinery29, Lili talked about upcoming projects and her mental health. She spoke about how the coronavirus has affected her mentally, specifically saying, “The last couple of months have probably the most emotional few months of my entire life and my therapist me, ‘Your body’s going through withdrawal from love.” She went on to say: “You’re used to having this exchange of happy chemicals between you and the person that you’re with… In moments of my life, I have dropped every ounce of pride that I had just to be like, ‘Love me. Please take the pain away for a day, a second, an hour,’ just so I can feel that fix again.”
The internet, along with every tween Riverdale fan (and myself), took this to mean that the two had finally called it quits. Lili was quick to clarify on Twitter that her comments were taken out of context and she would like us all to kindly back tf out of her business, thx. She clarified that in the interview she was not talking about being depressed over her breakup, but rather the depression she’s struggled with over the last few months.
Quotes taken from my most recent interview are not about a “breakup.” They are about the depression I’ve felt over these last few months. Tired of people taking my words out of context and piecing together their own story for clickbait.
— Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart) August 18, 2020
A day later, Cole officially confirmed their breakup on Instagram. So, there you have it folks! Cole and Lili are no more. While I’m sad for them, I’m THRILLED for the added angst that’s about to go into their characters’ Riverdale sex scenes. Now, if you need me, I’ll be here googling photography and meadery conversation starters, and other ways in which to slide into Cole’s DMs.
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Images: @colesprouse /Instagram (1); @lilireinhart /Twitter (1); @dylanobrien /Twitter (1); giphy (1)
For the six of you who are somehow still watching Riverdale, I’m so sorry. As we all know, we’re in a major period of celebrity breakups, and another couple has bitten the dust. Over the weekend, it was reported that Lili Reinhart and Cole Sprouse have broken up after three years of dating, and it seems like it might be real this time. I don’t know if there’s anyone who’s actually surprised about this, but I guess it’s still a big deal.
On Monday, People and Page Six both reported that sources confirmed that Cole and Lili are no longer together. According to the Page Six source, they “split before the pandemic hit, and have been quarantining separately.” The source added that “they remain good friends,” because god forbid two celebs hate each other like normal exes. If this timeline is accurate, then I’ve got a long list of follow-up questions.
The biggest indicator of this split came last week, when Riverdale actor Skeet Ulrich slipped up on an Instagram Live. When asked by a viewer if he thinks Cole and Lili are a cute couple, he responded “I think they were a cute couple.” Lmao, WERE. His girlfriend, Megan Blake Irwin, chimed in, agreeing that they *were* a cute couple, and added that “they’re both beautiful people.” I love mess. How many angry texts do you think Cole and Lili sent Skeet after this? My guess is more than three, less than 12. How bizarre that in 2020, half of our celeb news comes from people saying things they weren’t supposed to say on Instagram Live. Mason Disick was ahead of his time.
As we all know, this is not the first time that Cole and Lili have been on the receiving end of breakup rumors. Last summer, it seemed like they allegedly (maybe?) broke up, but then they clapped back with that bizarre magazine cover and some smug Instagram captions. We never found out if they actually split up during that time, which is exactly how they wanted it.
But the current breakup apparently happened a couple months ago, which would explain last month’s rumors that Cole was hanging out with/dating/hooking up with Kaia Gerber. Of course, this led to a lot of speculation about the status of his relationship with Lili, but no one actually knew anything for sure. He seemed to respond to those rumors in an Instagram story, referencing “rumors and slander” and saying that “while I truly never intended to indulge any part of my private life to the ravenous horde, it’s clear my restraint in updating them has allowed them to push their own agenda onto my habits and lifestyle.” He also told everyone to “eat my delectable plump ass,” because of course he did.
I get that being an asshole on social media is kind of Cole Sprouse’s thing, but this couple has always rubbed me the wrong way. Cole and Lili have always been one of those couples who seem to want it both ways. Like, they star on a hit show together, and have done joint red carpets and magazine covers, but they always seem weirdly caught off-guard when their millions of fans are curious about their relationship. Of course, everyone is entitled to privacy, but Cole Sprouse has been at this a little too long to act surprised at people prying into his personal life.
I certainly wouldn’t expect any kind of confirmation from Cole and Lili on this one, but these sources feel pretty realistic to me. We always knew that this quarantine period was going to lead to a lot of shifts in celebrity couples, and now we can just add Bughead to the list of quarantine breakups. That being said, it wouldn’t shock me if they’re suddenly back together next time they have to do Riverdale press. The network heart wants what it wants!
Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com
