As we’re all very aware, this is not a normal summer. As we do our part to minimize the spread of coronavirus, that means the majority of travel plans are not really an option right now. Depending on the situation where you live, you can hopefully plan some COVID-friendly weekend getaways—provided you follow state quarantine guidelines—but with a U.S. passport not worth the paper it’s printed on, your big international trip just isn’t happening this year.
We’ve all had to make massive adjustments this year, but if the hellscape of 2020 has proved anything, it’s that celebrities are not just like us. In March and April, most celebs were staying home like the rest of us, making cringeworthy PSA videos and entertaining us with concerts on Instagram Live. But nearly six months into the pandemic, celebrity behavior is a very mixed bag. While some are still hunkering down, others are a little too determined to get back to their normal lives.
While celebrities’ access to things like private planes and rapid test results certainly makes it easier for them to travel, there’s no way to fly around 100% safely right now. And beyond whatever risks these people are taking for themselves, they’re also setting a sh*tty example for their many followers. I don’t expect every celebrity to be a beacon of good judgment, but come on.
Dua Lipa & Anwar Hadid
I’m a huge fan of Dua Lipa personally, which is why I’ve been especially annoyed watching her fly around the world this summer. She and boyfriend Anwar Hadid have been together this whole time, starting with a few months of actual isolation at her home in London. They celebrated her album release and their one-year anniversary in quarantine, and were doing so well! But then at the beginning of July, Dua and Anwar flew to the Caribbean island of Saint Lucia for vacation. Dua captioned her first vacation post “island isolation,” so hopefully they were actually isolated while there, but they still went on vacation.
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By mid-July, Dua and Anwar were in New York City, where they were photographed out and about numerous times—usually wearing masks, but not always. While on the east coast, the couple also spent time at Yolanda Hadid’s house in Pennsylvania, where they saw Bella and a very pregnant Gigi Hadid. Since the end of last month, they’ve been in LA, and they haven’t exactly been isolating. Dua posted a photo hanging out (indoors, no masks) with Miley Cyrus, and last week she celebrated her 25th birthday with a party. Dua!! Stop that!!
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In life you have to live in the moment and be grateful for the present and all that’s infront of you not behind you! I’ve had one of the most amazing trips ever. Thank you @ultimacollection #ultimacollection #ultimacorfu I’m so grateful to you and your amazing staff for looking after us on one of the most dreeeeemiest holiday ever. I’m forever grateful but I’m going to need to get back to work. I can’t wait to show you all why I took this break and what Me and my team have been cooking up for you all! It’s so exciting! Hold on bots! Something is coming! 😈🥳😝
Much like Dua Lipa, British singer Rita Ora spent the first few months of lockdown more or less in actual lockdown. She rented a house in the Cotswolds (major The Holiday vibes), and other than some bikini pics in nature, it didn’t seem like she was doing much. But just like Dua Lipa, she got bored of isolation sometime in June, and by the beginning of July, she was on vacation in Paris. Since then, she’s spent time at home in London, and more recently, she’s been on back-to-back holidays in Ibiza and Greece. I know the COVID travel situation is slightly different in Europe currently than in the U.S., but maybe this summer would be a good time to limit yourself to like, one beach vacation? Also, I know there’s more to do in Ibiza than just clubbing, but is it really worth it to go when the clubs aren’t even open?
Timothée Chalamet and Eiza Gonzalez vacationing in Mexico in the midst of a global pandemic! pic.twitter.com/JAAlvKAHsJ
— Timothée Chalamet Fans (@TimotheeUpdates) June 23, 2020
Timmy keeps a pretty low profile on social media, but paparazzi and fan photos have provided us with sporadic updates on his ever-changing pandemic whereabouts. He’s spent most of the last six months in New York, but in June, his trip to Mexico was major tabloid news. That’s mainly because he was spotted at a resort in Cabo getting close with Eiza González, the first time they were seen together. Earlier this month, he flew from the U.S. to Hungary, where postponed reshoots on the upcoming Dune movie were allowed to go forward. Americans still face strict restrictions when traveling to European countries including Hungary, but judging from the timeline here, it doesn’t appear Timothée quarantined for 14 days.
Kanye West has been in the news a lot this summer, but I’m surprised his traveling hasn’t gotten more attention. Last month, Kanye tweeted that he was running for President, and then made headlines for some questionable comments made at a rally in South Carolina. Kanye’s comments about Harriet Tubman and abortion raised a lot of eyebrows, but also… why was he in South Carolina? He doesn’t live there, and in terms of his Presidential campaign, he didn’t even meet requirements to be listed on the ballot there. He hasn’t hosted any more campaign rallies since then, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been traveling.
In the past month or so, Kanye has spent a lot of time at his ranch in Wyoming, where Kim flew to visit him from LA at the end of July (the whole family also went to Wyoming on a separate trip earlier this summer). But rather than just staying in Wyoming, the whole family went on vacation earlier this month, with E! News reporting that they spent time in an undisclosed tropical location. Again, I know these people fly private everywhere and probably have unlimited access to testing, but it’s still not a great look.
A number of Real Housewives and Bravolebrities have exhibited some questionable judgment during the pandemic, but RHOC’s Kelly Dodd has undoubtedly been the worst of the bunch. Early in the pandemic, when New York was the global epicenter, she flew back and forth between NYC and California to spend time with her fiancé, Fox News host Rick Leventhal. At the time, she received major backlash for comments on Instagram about coronavirus being “God’s way of thinning the herd,” and her subsequent terrible takes on Black Lives Matter didn’t help her reputation in the Bravo community.
This summer, Kelly has been all over the place, taking a family vacation to Florida in June, and a trip to Mexico last week, in addition to traveling between New York and California. Earlier this summer, RHOC resumed filming for their 15th season, and despite half the cast contracting COVID-19, and their cast trip being cut short, Kelly somehow avoided getting sick. Kelly has posted about getting tested numerous times, at least, but it doesn’t make the traveling itself any less risky.
When comparing reality TV stars’ responses to the pandemic, Bachelor Nation manages to make the Real Housewives look like responsible members of society. The days of Tyler, Hannah, and Matt James at the quarantine house are long gone (and that was questionable to begin with, tbh). Since leaving that overcrowded house in Florida months ago, Hannah Brown has spent time at home in Alabama, and is now living in California.
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Madison Prewett has also hopped around quite a bit. She spent the first few months with her family in Alabama, before heading to Atlanta for a couple weeks in June, where she hung out with fellow Bachelor alums (mask-free, naturally). In early July, she was in Los Angeles, where she hung out with Hannah Ann, before heading to Nashville by the end of the month (and maybe also back to Alabama, it’s honestly hard to keep track). Now, she’s back in LA, and she just had her hair done by the same woman who gives frightening extensions to the likes of Amanda Stanton, Corinne Olympios, and Kim Zolciak Biermann.
I try not to keep tabs on too many Bachelor Nation people for fear that I will actually lose my mind, but suffice it to say that Hannah and Madi are not the only two Bachelor alums that have been a few too many places this summer.
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Justin and Hailey started out their quarantine at their lake house in Canada, which is kind of the perfect place to be isolated for a while. But, like everyone else on this list, the whole “quarantine” thing pretty much lost meaning after a few months, and the Biebers have done quite a bit of traveling since then. For much of the summer, they’ve road tripped in an RV together, which is better than flying, but it’s not like they’ve been isolated on their travels. They went to Chicago, where they hung out with Chance the Rapper, they’ve had people on their boat, and recently, Justin has posted pictures from multiple different group dinners. Overall, Justin and Hailey aren’t the worst on this list, but they’re also doing more than they need to be.
In general, it’s frustrating that people with influence are so blatantly flaunting their privilege at a time when people are losing loved ones to COVID and struggling from the economic impacts of the pandemic. There’s no such thing as risk-free travel right now, and these people are taking those risks a little too lightly.
Images: Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com; dualipa, ritaora, kellyddodd, madiprew, hairby_chrissy, justinbieber / Instagram; TimotheeUpdates / Twitter
After taking a month off of cataloging the worst TikToks our famous people have to offer, it’s safe to say not much has changed. We’re still in the middle of a pandemic, social distancing isn’t going anywhere, and yes, celebrities are still acting very cringey on TikTok. While some of our faves have gotten bored and mostly abandoned their awful TikToks (Vanessa Hudgens, please come back), there are still more than enough celebs who just can’t put their phones down. Whether you’re into sh*tty dancing, rough attempts at comedy, or half-hearted activism, there’s something here for everyone this week.
@meghantrainorWhen everyone thinks you announced your pregnancy on TikTok ##31weekspregnant
♬ original sound – devin levell
I would love to let Meghan Trainor enjoy her pregnancy journey in peace without dragging her, but wtf is this video, honestly. Daryl Sabara’s energy really stresses me out, and him yelling at me and trying to get crunk with a stroller while “Thotiana” plays in the background is not my preferred holiday vibe, to say the least.
@mrs.wahlbergHave you tried the Sugarplum Macchiato from @dunkin yet, ##Chicago? Tell me what you think using ##DunkinSugarplum. ##ad♬ How You Like That – BLACKPINK
I have no problem with celebs doing ads on TikTok, but I appreciate when they at least show a little commitment to the assignment. Jenny McCarthy has done two videos for Dunkin’ promoting their season sugarplum macchiato, and in both, it’s very obvious that she isn’t actually taking a sip. I’ve tried it, and it’s gross, but the least she could do is drink it with a smile on her face!
@brycehall♬ original sound – 𝓳𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓮
In a year full of lows, learning about Bryce Hall was definitely one of my lowest points. This video of him dancing in a Santa suit 10/1o ruined my day, and also, we shouldn’t be doing fat suits anymore, come on.
@bhadbhabieshe can never take a joke😂😂😂♬ original sound – bhadbhabie
In this video, 17-year-old Bhad Bhabie (aka “cash me outside” girl) plays a prank on her mom by giving her a box with a positive pregnancy test inside. These kind of pranks aren’t really funny in any context, but there’s something extra cringe about this one. First of all, her mom clearly doesn’t want to be on camera, and then her reaction to the test is to repeatedly say “I will f*cking stab you.” Yikes! Idk about their family dynamic, but this isn’t cute to me.
@tyrabanksScience degree not needed ##tiktokpartner ##learnontiktok ##share ##needtoknow♬ original sound – Tyra Banks
There’s nothing Tyra loves more than sharing a little wisdom, and in this ‘Tok, she talks about the difference between inventing and innovating. I don’t really think these words are that confusing, but I also don’t think Tyra did a very good job of explaining herself. Like, I’m not confident she could use both of these words correctly in a sentence. So let’s discuss: was the smize an invention or an innovation?
@perezhilton♬ Follow PerezHilton on TikTok – Perez Hilton
Most of Perez Hilton’s videos are just D-list celebrity news no one cares about, but this one is bad in a totally different way. I’m 100% sure Perez with this devil filter is my new sleep paralysis demon, so I guess I just won’t be sleeping for the next few days. I hate it here.
@tanamongeaulola lot happened in between those two things but go peep the video♬ original sound – Tana Mongeau
There is… a lot going on in Tana’s life right now. Apparently her ex made a mean song about her, and then her best friend hooked up with her new man IN HER HOUSE? I’m cringing at this whole situation because I feel bad for Tana, but also, why is she making TikToks about it?? Girl, figure this sh*t out! Also, stop having friends over, it’s a pandemic!
November 28-December 4:
@foodgod♬ Oh No – Kreepa
I thought Jonathan’s videos of him shoveling food into his mouth were upsetting, but this is way worse. He’s puckering up his gross lips and smothering them with hand soap, and then trying to blow bubbles. Sorry, is he five years old? Sir, please get a grip.
@jackblackmy spidey senses are TINGLING – new ep link in bio!! 📹 @taylor♬ Out the Frame – Marv Allen
As a followup to his deeply cringeworthy WAP video, Jack Black is back with another TikTok of him dancing, this time in a Spider-Man costume. Again, something I really did not need to see. Just gonna throw this out there as a note to many of the celebs who cannot dance, but seem determined to make dancing TikToks: no one is making you do that! Stop it!
@wizkhalifaCOVID test BABY ##covid19 ##gettested♬ original sound – Wiz Khalifa
In this video, Wiz Khalifa rolls up to a drive-thru COVID testing site, with a joint clearly lit in the car, and we see the full swabbing process from start to finish. First of all, I’m really not a fan of seeing people get these swabs stuck up their noses on camera, but it also feels super inconsiderate to have smoke blowing in the face of this poor woman administering the COVID test. These people are going above and beyond to keep us safe, so please be considerate to them!
@heidimontagAudrina left 😂♬ WAP（feat. Megan Thee Stallion） – Cardi B
I really thought I was done roasting celebrity “WAP” videos like, a month ago, but Heidi and Audrina just had to go and post this three months too late. Obviously, the dancing is not good—as you know by now, Heidi’s dancing is never good. But more than anything, it’s so half-assed! Audrina just walks off halfway through the video, leaving Heidi to fend for herself, and she really doesn’t know what she’s doing. This makes me sad.
@officialhowiemandel##inventions ##safety ##amazing♬ original sound – Howie Mandel
In this video, Howie shows off his new face mask, which is perhaps the most unsettling thing I’ve ever seen. I really hope he never wears this in public, because people will be traumatized.
@itsjojosiwa“Where Are You Christmas” The Official Music Video!!!❄️🖤 Coming out on Thanksgiving (11/26)!! LINK IN MY BIO!♬ original sound – JoJo Siwa
This is a clip from a music video and not like, an actual TikTok, but we still need to discuss whatever the f*ck JoJo is wearing. It looks like she skinned a polar bear, and then bedazzled its entire body and turned it into a coat. The amount of glitter on her face is actually making me physically uncomfortable, and her hair bow has never been bigger. Someone stop her!
@lilmiquela⚠️ My new SNAP show GET REAL, MIQUELA is out now ⚠️ I’m finally getting REAL…♬ original sound – MIQUELA
We’ve discussed CGI influencer Lil Miquela before, but before this week, I’ve never dared to look at her TikTok. Little did I know, she actually has a reality show on Snapchat now! I have so many questions. What does a reality show about a fake person entail? Why is this happening now? And did anyone know Snapchat had shows?? I can’t let myself think about this too much, because it’ll just make me angry.
@charlidameliomy drink the charli is still on the dunkin’ app!! give it a try and let me know what you think!! ##ad♬ original sound – charli d’amelio
Charli has been getting roasted over a recent YouTube video, but today I’m focusing on one of her TikToks from this week, an ad for Dunkin. As part of her partnership with the brand, they created a drink called “The Charli,” which is cold brew with caramel and whole milk. I’ve had it, and it took me like, three days to digest all that dairy. In this video, she reminds her followers that the drink is still available, but she doesn’t seem all that committed to selling it. Twice, she says it’s “pretty good”, which is how I describe something when I don’t like it but I don’t want to be rude. Come on girl, earn those coins!
@drphilWhen the ##onhold music slaps.♬ original sound – Friday
Dr. Phil continues his streak of making everyone uncomfy on TikTok with this video of him vibing to some hold music. Really, Dr. Phil dancing is something I never need to see, and as he gets more animated throughout the video (and gets his wife involved), it just gets worse.
@heidimontag♬ Candy Shop – R n B Allstars
Heidi hasn’t made an appearance on this list in a while, but she’s been busy making TikToks this week, and most of them are bad. Notably, she has been hanging out with Audrina Patridge, so the reboot of The Hills might finally be getting a second season. But in this video, Heidi just kind of dances around to the beginning “Candy Shop” while her mask gradually slips under her nose. The caption says something about going on the boat that’s in the background, but she never actually shows us whether she got to go on the boat! That’s just bad writing.
@derekhoughCandid authentic moment of me doing Laundry outside. Didn’t even know there were cameras there. @people♬ Pony – Ginuwine
I make a point of not looking at Derek Hough’s TikTok too often because it makes me mad, but I really hate when he tries to be hot. I’m pretty sure this whole backyard laundry setup is for a photo shoot, so I can’t fault him for being extra, but thrusting to “Pony” on a laundry basket? That’s where I draw the line. Someone stop this man!!
@brycehallupdate on no shave november @joshrichards♬ original sound – Rudy
Bryce Hall is one of TikTok’s most notorious f*ckboys, and hating his content is one of my favorite pastimes. Currently, he and his fellow Hype House member Josh Richards are taking part in No Shave November, and their results after nearly two weeks are kind of hilariously underwhelming. I always regret taking the dive into Bryce’s videos, but at least today he gave me something to laugh at.
@barbara.corcoran@mcuban 👀 ##WIP♬ Lonely – Justin Bieber & benny blanco
Big congrats to Shark Tank star Barbara Corcoran, who makes her first appearance on the list this week. In this TikTok, she acts out a POV scenario where she’s listening to a pitch on Shark Tank, and then the person chooses Mark Cuban’s offer. Her face as she chokes herself off camera is truly horrifying, but also, can we talk about her outfit? She’s dressed like a middle schooler, and I truly don’t understand it. Why is she wearing a backpack!!! I have so many questions.
@thenewclassicATTENTION!!!♬ original sound – Matt Beckoff
I’m always wary of anything Iggy Azalea does, but for the most part, she’s actually pretty funny on TikTok. But this video of her twerking to an edited sound of Biden calling himself “daddy”… I hate it here. Honestly, I would hate this sound no matter what the video was, but there’s something about the front view of someone twerking that’s particularly unsettling. Luckily, Iggy has already gone back to making videos about eating pizza in bed, so I don’t need to unfollow her.
@itsjojosiwaGet Ready with Me ❤️🎀 @BangEnergy @BangEnergy.CEO ##BangEnergy ##CaffeineFree ##ad♬ original sound – JoJo Siwa
I know this is an ad, but the thought of JoJo Siwa consuming an energy drink is actually terrifying to me. Like, I needed an energy drink in college when I had a paper due the next day that I hadn’t started. JoJo Siwa does not need an energy drink, and I’m concerned that she might literally explode if she drank a full one of these.
October 31-November 6:
@drphilI’ve got those Grandpa Joe moves. ##mycostume♬ Spooky, Scary Skeletons – Andrew Gold
I only put one Halloween TikTok on this list because, to be honest, Halloween already feels like it was seven months ago. But I couldn’t just skip over Dr. Phil’s jarring Halloween costume—Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka. I have no desire to see Dr. Phil in a nightgown, and his weak attempt at dancing just makes it worse. Some people just don’t need to do Halloween.
@itsjojosiwaMy night routine!!!✨🎀♬ Boomerang – Jojo Siwa
I know that this nighttime routine video from JoJo Siwa is a joke, but I still found myself cringing. I’m used to seeing the cars with her face plastered all over them, but her house still gives me a headache. I love eating cake for dinner as much as the next person, but this is just too much. And watching her cover her entire face in glitter made my skin itch. Also, why is she in the shower with clothes on? This is not for me.
Candace Cameron Bure
@candacecameronb##JesusSaves ##momsoftiktok ##Christian♬ original sound – The CrunchBros
We all know Candace Cameron Bure loves the Bible, and of course there’s nothing wrong with that. But she keeps doing these cutesy Bible videos where she lip-syncs to a baby voice, and I find them deeply unsettling. Also, Candace posted this video amid major uncertainty about the outcome of the Presidential election, and I don’t love the sentiment that we should just stop being worried about real world sh*t because of the Bible. That’s not how the world works!
@officialhowiemandelCan’t bear it♬ Where Is The Love? – The Black Eyed Peas
Y’all know by know that I’m not the biggest fan of Howie Mandel’s TikToks, but whatever, some people like them. But my nerves are already shot, and I definitely didn’t need to see this humongous teddy bear barreling toward me today. The “Where Is The Love” sound is majorly trending on TikTok right now, and I have to say, this is one of my least favorite takes on it.
@bobsaget##WAP ##chores♬ WAP（feat. Megan Thee Stallion） – Cardi B
The 60+ male celebs continue to crank out the content on TikTok, and I continue to hate it. I really thought we were done with “WAP” content a few weeks ago, but Bob Saget didn’t get a chance to post his take until this week. Well, it’s here, and it’s awful. The bucket and mop bit is pretty run of the mill, but the clip of him with water pouring out of his mouth? It’ll take me weeks to get over that. WEEKS! Note to any and all middle-aged celebs out there who have yet to post a “WAP” video: skip it, please!
@tyrabanks##Boo 🎃♬ original sound – Tyra Banks
First of all, Tyra has posted four different videos in the past week that she clearly filmed at the same time, so props to her for planning out her content! But this video made me die a little inside. She really thought she was doing something here! This feels like an over the top bit she would’ve done to introduce an acting challenge on America’s Next Top Model, but when she’s alone in her house doing it on TikTok, the whole thing just feels bizarre. Maybe if she had Miss J in the video it would’ve been better.
@foodgodName one fruit you can’t live without♬ Astronomia – Chiky Dee Jay
Every time I include a Foodgod TikTok on this list, I tell myself it’s going to be the last one, but he really outdid himself this week. He’s bugging out (as per usual) about some guava ice cream, and then he does a slurping noise/motion toward the camera that is so foul, I honestly think he belongs in prison. I can’t even describe how uncomfortable I am right now, but if you watch the video, you’ll understand where I’m coming from. Jonathan, PLEASE!
@meghantrainorWash your hands for 20 SECONDS to Safeguard your family💦Challenging @ryan.trainor to come clean w/ @safeguardsoap ##SafeguardSplash ##ad ##WashAwayGerms♬ original sound – Meghan Trainor
As part of this ad she did for a soap brand, Meghan Trainor was supposed to “come clean” about something, and the big secret she chose was that she likes eating chips with ketchup, and drinks milk with ice cubes in it. Okay, so first of all, what a lame confession. But als0—EW! Potato chips with ketchup is not something I want to try, but whatever, I guess I low-key get it. But this adult woman is drinking whole glasses of milk with ICE CUBES??? I knew I didn’t like her for a reason.
@jamescharlesbless u♬ original sound – James Charles
Personally, I always cringe when James Charles tries to remind us he can sing, but this one is especially bad because the video starts with him sneezing INTO HIS HAND. In this time of widespread germophobia, could James not at least show proper sneezing protocol on camera?? And then, without washing his hands or anything, he touches his face!!! James, what are you doing!!!
@brycehallgolf day w the boy @imgriffinjohnson♬ original sound – timothée chalamet edits!
Earlier this week, the tabloids were all over the story of how TikTok star Bryce Hall got into a brawl with staff at a restaurant in LA after they told him he wasn’t allowed to vape at his table. For reference, this is the same asshole who got his electricity shut off by the city after he refused to stop having parties during the pandemic. In this TikTok, we see him at the golf course in the same outfit that he was wearing during the fight, and it’s so cringe to watch him just do like, anything. I don’t understand why all these random hot guys are so famous, but can we please cancel Bryce Hall?
@realwoahvicky♬ original sound – Vicky
If you’re unfamiliar with Woah Vicky, welcome to a very specific corner of the internet. She’s a 20-year-old social media star and sometimes rapper who’s probably best known for two things: falsely claiming to be Black, and getting in a full-on fist fight with Bhad Bhabie. She also has arguably one of the most annoying voices of anyone on the planet, and this video of her belting out “A Thousand Miles” in the back of a car is the vocal equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Okay, sorry for doing that to you, you may now go back to pretending you don’t know who she is.
@meghantrainorWE VOTED!!!!!!!! 🎉🇺🇸♬ Register and GO VOTE – Meghan Trainor
Is it a good thing that Meghan Trainor is using her platform to encourage everyone to vote? Absolutely! But I did not need to come on TikTok today and be assaulted by the visual of Spy Kids star Daryl Sabara twerking for the camera. Absolutely not, no way. This is too much! The voting song is cute; she should’ve just posted a video of herself and kept it moving.
Candace Cameron Bure
@candacecameronbThe Bible. Another blessing.♬ original sound – Prince Tai
Candace Cameron Bure being religious is nothing new, and I’m certainly not going to roast her for that. But I have no issue roasting her for this bizarre choreographed dance where she uses her Bible as a prop. This feels like one of the less impressive routines from Dance Moms, but performed by a 50-year-old woman with a not-great sense of rhythm. I expected there to at least be a Bible verse in the caption or something, but it appears that Candace just felt compelled to dance.
@melissagorgaBack off the closet 💅🏼 ##envybymg ##fyp ##foryoupage♬ original sound – Melissagorga
This TikTok is pretty standard stuff from Melissa, except for the fact that there are two random men sitting in the background, both wearing masks and looking very confused. Melissa, who are these dudes? Neither of them are her husband (ily Joey), and they certainly don’t look like they’re interested in being in a TikTok. This is why I don’t make TikToks in public.
@foodgodPick a color ##sugarfactory♬ Freak by Doja Cat. On soundcloud – coen💗
My nemesis was back at it this week, attending one of those godforsaken Sugar Factory events that Kardashian-adjacent celebs thrive on. This time, rather than going for some diabetes fishbowl cocktail, Jonathan tried some sliders with rainbow buns, and I’ve never wanted to throw up more than I do right now. Sorry, but a GREEN hamburger bun belongs nowhere near a human digestive system. Every day we stray further from god’s light.
@jessicaalbapumpkin 🎃 cookies @foodstirs inspired by @honest limited edition Fall diaper 🍁🍪🍂🍎 🎃☕️ ##fallvibes ##fallaesthetic ##honestfallchallenge♬ original sound – Yo Mama
I respect Jessica Alba’s business woman hustle, and she’s undoubtedly more successful than I will ever be. But you know what I don’t want to see? Recipe ideas that are inspired by DIAPERS. Yes, I swear to god, this cookie recipe is inspired by Jessica’s new line of fall-themed diapers. The cookies look yummy, but now I’m literally going to be thinking of a baby’s sh*t the entire time I’m eating them. No thank you!
MJ🤍⚡️ I learned my first MJ dance today!!! This is the real choreo from his “This Is It” tour!!!🤟🏼
♬ original sound – JoJo Siwa
Soooo… who’s gonna tell JoJo Siwa about Michael Jackson? She didn’t do anything wrong here—we all love MJ’s music, and the dancing is great, but I feel like someone on her team should maybe steer her away from doing more of these videos in the future. She’s 17, she can handle the truth. Learn some of Janet’s choreography instead!
Afternoon vibe. @420doggface208
♬ Dreams (2004 Remaster) – Fleetwood Mac
Dr. Phil is quickly becoming one of the TikTokers I love to hate the most, and this video of him trying to be seductive while driving a golf cart and chugging cranberry juice will most likely give me nightmares. The “daddy” video was funny and all, but we cannot let Dr. Phil think he is some kind of sex symbol. 2020 is already bad enough, and I cannot handle this.
It happened. ##realityripple 👻
♬ original sound – Jenny McCarthy
Does Jenny McCarthy actually have ghosts in her house? She sure thinks so! This video feels like a bootleg version of Paranormal Activity, except nothing interesting happens, and the protagonist is an anti-vaxxer. No thanks! This week, Jenny also posted a TikTok of her trying on one of the heads of the Masked Singer costumes (she’s a judge), and I can only imagine how many germs are in those things. Ew!
@loganpaulmy first mistake was trying to be cool ##fyp ##foryou
♬ original sound – Logan Paul
Logan’s brother Jake has barely posted on TikTok since his house got raided by the FBI over the summer, but the elder Paul brother is still up to his old, annoying ways. This week, he posted a video of himself walking off of a private jet, and accidentally spilling a briefcase full of cash. I’m 95% sure this was a staged video and he did it on purpose, because that’s kind of his whole thing, but either way, this video is obnoxious. Idk if Logan is aware of what’s happening in the world rn (probs not), but most people don’t have private jets and boxes of money lying around.
September 26-October 2:
@officialhowiemandel##duet with @officialhowiemandel♬ original sound – Howie Mandel
I’m not sure I really get the point of Howie’s original video, and the duet he did with himself is even more lame. Howie’s dad humor has proved really popular on TikTok, but as I’ve said before, it just does nothing for me.
@tanamongeauloluse protection @noahcyrus♬ original sound – Tana Mongeau
At this point, I’ve really discarded any expectations about Tana Mongeau following COVID protocols, but this is just flat-out dumb, and the video isn’t even funny! She’s kissing Noah Cyrus (Miley’s little sister) with masks on, and I really can’t with the whole mask kissing thing. If it’s your actual partner, fine, it’s just a little weird, but you shouldn’t be doing this with randos.
@jasonderuloMy Imagination when Mom says “Money doesn’t grow on trees”♬ Funny Thing – Thundercat
Jason Derulo has made a second career out of doing the most on TikTok, and this money tree video is no exception. Truly, I feel bad for whatever assistant had to spend an hour taping fake dollar bills to the leaves of this tree, and then another hour sweeping them all up off the ground afterward. The video isn’t even funny, so like, is this worth it?
@addisonretalking to the canyon @sherinicolee♬ original sound – Josh<3
Welcome back, Addison and Sheri! First off, I still don’t understand how these TikTok famous kids with millions of followers getting away with posting such lazy, uninteresting videos. For the men, it’s the sh*tty shirtless dancing, and for people like Addison and Charli, it’s the sh*tty dancing, but with shirts on. Also, I still don’t want to see thirsty Mama Sheri dancing on my For You Page. Sorry, not sorry. At least the background is scenic?
@heidimontag@prattdaddy Sale today! Use code flash20 for 20% off aquamarines and druzy agate!!!!!♬ Whole Lotta Choppas – Sada Baby
After a few weeks of leaving her followers high and dry, my cringe queen Heidi finally returned to TikTok this week. Apparently she didn’t use her time way working on new video concepts, because this week she delivered another video of her making googly eyes at the camera while waving around some of Spencer’s crystals. At least she was smart to use a trending song, but she didn’t actually really do the trend. Heidi, please never stop.
@tanamongeaulolhahahaahahahahahahaha this might be my favorite sound♬ As An Accountant – Rocky Paterra
It’s definitely not breaking news that Tana Mongeau gets fillers, and I really don’t care one way or the other, but oh my god, why is no one at the med spa wearing a f*cking mask??? The only time anyone in this situation should be mask-free is if they’re literally having something injected into the lower half of their face, so it’s disappointing to see supposed medical professionals being so care-free. We know Tana isn’t being that careful when it comes to social distancing, but you’d expect better from someone who sees patients for a living.
@heidimontag@prattdaddy Sale today! Use code flash20 for 20% off aquamarines and druzy agate!!!!!♬ Whole Lotta Choppas – Sada Baby
Usually, Jonathan Cheban makes this list for disgusting videos of him shoving way too much food in his mouth at once, but he switched things up this week by trying to do comedy. He’s on a stationary bike located on a rooftop, which then blasts off into the moon. Cool effect honestly, but it’s totally ruined by him calling out “FG phone home” over and over again. To be fair, he does look like an alien, but honestly I’d prefer he sticks to the nasty food videos in the future.
@addisonre@sherinicolee♬ THICK – DJ Chose & Beatking
Addison isn’t really doing anything wrong here, but her mother Sheri (whose “WAP” dance made this list previously) continues to give me a great deal of bad vibes. The thirst just radiates from every pore of her being, and to be honest, I don’t know why she insists on doing these stupid dances with her daughter. I really hope rumors about this family getting a reality show aren’t real, because this woman does not need any more attention.
@kjapacFollow @adamisgreat14 💥 for a follow back ! ❤️Quick now ! ##fy ##riverdale♬ original sound – KJ Apa
Pardon me if I missed something here, but why on earth is KJ Apa dipping his hair in his tea? And why is he then letting the tea drip off of his hair and into his mouth? This is a bizarre thing to do in the first place, and given that his hair looks greasy AF, this cannot be remotely sanitary. The one plus here is that I guess the orange hair means that Riverdale really is happening again, so congrats if you’re one of the 10 people still watching.
@drphilSharing some fun psychological facts with @onlyjayus ! ##LearnOnTikTok ##DidYouKnow ##Psychology♬ original sound – Dr. Phil
In this video, Dr. Phil shares some “fun psychological facts”, which are mostly oversimplified life hacks that I’m not have any real basis in psychology. The facts are pretty lame overall, but I take personal offense to Dr. Phil’s suggestion that we should all be getting ready for work like normal even if we’re all still working from home. Dr. Phil, why do you care if I’m wearing sweatpants for the 200th day in a row? Mind your own business!
@kourtneykardashian♬ L’appuntamento – Alessandro Alessandroni
Kourtney hadn’t posted a TikTok in like, three months, but she made her big return to the ‘Tok with this bizarre photo slideshow of her walking through the hall of her house. The music is weird, the angle is weird, and the photos look like they were taken on an iPhone from 2011. Kourt, are you okay? I guess Addison wasn’t around to help her make this one, because the quality is seriously lacking.
@officialhowiemandel##nothing♬ original sound – Howie Mandel
Like I’ve said before, Howie Mandel is huge on TikTok, and I’ve never quite gotten the appeal. Whatever, people like dad humor I guess. But there is something so wrong about seeing Howie Mandel—one of the most famous bald people—wearing a wig, and I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe it’s this specific wig, but this video is making my physically uncomfortable. Howie, please go back to being bald, it’s for the greater good.
@addisonre♬ American Boy but Shibuya is there too – goalsounds
I have no issue being a little embarrassing in public in the name of getting ~content~, but doing a TikTok dance in the middle of a crowded restaurant, in the middle of a pandemic, while randos are everywhere around you? It’s a little much for me. Addison has a big empty house to half-ass these dances in! Or she could go to Kourtney’s house! Of course, because TikTok is wild, this video still got over two million likes. Why do I even try?
@drphil##YouHaveTo stop calling me “daddy.” I ain’t ya daddy.♬ you have to stop supporting trump – hannah_harpist
Dr. Phil’s video pleading with people to stop calling him daddy went totally viral over the weekend, and I have to admit, it’s grown on me. The first time I saw it, I was horrified—both with what I was seeing, and the idea that anyone would call him daddy in the first place. But now that I’ve seen it a few (dozen) more times, I’ve come to appreciate this as the comedy gold that it is. Dr. Phil, I might be cringing, but please make more of these videos.
@tanamongeaulolok and this is why i shouldn’t do the trends hahahahahahh @boasteakhouse♬ original sound – routinesbymills
Just like Addison, Tana also made a TikTok at a restaurant this week, but hers is cringe for an entirely different reason. While she giggles into her phone camera, we see a waiter bringing her food in full mask, gloves, glasses, and face shield. I’m not trying to shame anyone for supporting restaurants right now, but something about making a stupid video while your waiter looks like a f*cking stormtrooper feels… dystopian. I hope she at least asked the waiter if he was okay with her posting this.
@derekhoughGym Fight ##fitness ##health ##fight ##gym♬ original sound – jena
Derek Hough’s videos always make me feel mildly uncomfortable, and this one where he’s shirtless and keeps punching the camera reeks of toxic masculinity. I’m not saying Derek himself is toxic, but I just don’t love this vibe. Also, are these fitness facilities in his home? Private? He’s not wearing a mask at all, so I certainly hope this isn’t a public gym. The thought of stepping foot into a gym right now makes me shiver, so it’s kind of wild that other people are just hanging out making TikToks by the weight machines.
August 29-September 4:
@heidimontag♬ Disney Pictures Intro – Disney Pictures
Heidi, Heidi, Heidi. I am continually impressed with Heidi Montag’s ability to pump out the unintentionally disturbing content on TikTok, and this drag makeup filter is some of her worst work yet. The Disney theme music has never been more chilling. If you’re reading this and you know Heidi personally, please ask her to stop.
@foodgodWho likes banana pudding??♬ original sound – foodgod
I mean, do I need to explain why I cringed at this video of FoodGod shoveling banana pudding into his mouth with the world’s largest spoon? Everything this clown does is over the top, and this ridiculous dessert tower is no different. Honestly, this stuff is probably delicious, but now it’s been ruined for me. Thanks, Jonathan!
@perezhiltonIs this the end of the ##FreeBritney movement? Probably not. But, I don’t think ##BritneySpears’ lawyer would lie to the court. Do u?♬ Follow PerezHilton on TikTok – perezhilton
If you’re still getting your celeb news from Perez Hilton in 2020, I have questions, but his TikTok videos are A LOT. If you actually want to know what’s going on with Britney Spears and her conservatorship, read this article instead. It’s more coherent, and you don’t have to stare into Perez’s creepy eyes.
@officialhowiemandel##duet with @ramanaborba she just needs practice♬ WAP（feat. Megan Thee Stallion） – Cardi B
If you’re one of the three remaining famous people on TikTok who hasn’t already done the “WAP” dance, I have a message for you: YOU DON’T HAVE TO! Please, for the love of god, just leave it alone! There are a lot of things I need right now, but seeing Howie Mandel twerk is absolutely not on that list. I really wish I could unsee this.
@meghantrainorHow I FaceTime family and besties♬ original sound – meghantrainor
Ring ring—it’s your sleep paralysis demon calling! Meghan Trainor’s TikTok presence is all over the map, and while I don’t love when she tries to do cute videos with her husband Daryl Sabara, I certainly don’t love this either. Idk what she was trying to accomplish here, but now her close-up face is permanently seared into my brain.
@bobsaget##LoveStory♬ Love Story Discolines – ethanishung
It’s always a bumpy ride with boomers on TikTok, and personally, I never needed to see Danny Tanner dancing to a remix of “Love Story.” When he pulled out the ring box, I was expecting something funny to happen, but instead, he reveals a wire ring and then just kind of stands around, and then starts hip thrusting. Ew. Bob, you have to have a clear concept if you don’t want the video to fall flat!
@sherinicoleei warned u @addisonre hope this teaches you to be nice to your mama ❤️ ##foryou ##ChoresInThisHouse ##foryoupage ##ChemicalHearts♬ WAP (feat. Megan Thee Stallion) – Cardi B
The name Sheri Easterling probably doesn’t ring a bell, but she’s Addison Rae‘s mom, and she has over 10 million followers, because TikTok is wild. Everything about Sheri’s online presence is cringe, but she really outdid herself with her take on the viral “WAP” dance. Last week, I came for Lisa Rinna for her “WAP” video, but this is much, much worse. The thirst is REAL, and I’m upset.
@kevinbaconGood morning TikTok! Do you love mango? This is how I like to eat it. ##EasyMeal ##TikTokRecipe ##SummerDIY ##Mango♬ Memories (In the Style of Maroon 5) – Instrumental King
Back to the boomer men! Kevin Bacon is on TikTok for some reason, and this week he shared a groundbreaking recipe for how to eat a mango. The whole thing is uncomfortable, because Kevin has to whisper because his wife is sleeping. And then, at the end, he bites into the mango like a literal animal, and it’s just too much for me. Someone get this man a napkin.
@foodgod♬ Tounge Tied – Grouplove
You know what I didn’t need to see at 10am today? Foodgod shoveling piping hot pizza into his mouth, and then letting it drop back onto the plate. I realize that I’m now making all of you suffer through the same video, but sorry, we’re in this together. Every time I watch Jonathan Cheban’s videos they make me upset, which means I should probably just stop looking, but it’s like a car crash at this point.
@justinbieber♬ original sound – justinbieber
Justin Bieber only posts on TikTok sporadically, but when he does, it’s almost never good. In this one, he just sings a few seconds of his song “Intentions,” with a filter on his face that’s honestly disturbing to look at. By now, most celebrities as famous as Justin have either stopped using TikTok or invested money in being really good at TikTok (Jason Derulo, Will Smith), so Justin’s uncomfortable, poorly-lit videos feels like they’re from a different era (aka March 2020).
@heidimontag♬ Bulletproof – La Roux
God bless sweet Heidi Montag, who completely missed the point of this TikTok trend. You’re supposed to list some specific trauma you went through, and other top-tier examples include numerous people saying “I was on Dance Moms” and Claudia Conway saying “my mom is Kellyanne Conway.” Heidi has PLENTY of good material for this trend, like being married to Spencer Pratt, or her mom telling her she didn’t look pretty on TV after having 10 cosmetic surgeries, but she just went with “you can’t.” Heidi, I was rooting for you!!
@kelleyflanaganthat’s not what it’s suppose to look like 😭 ☺️♬ original sound – _madi.nicole
You’ll need your sound on for the full cringe effect of this one—it’s a real audiovisual experience. Kelley starts by failing miserably at a TikTok dance that she wasn’t equipped to try in the first place, and then we hear Pilot Pete behind the camera telling Kelley that she looks like a hot bunny. Pardon me while I throw up in my mouth. The gushy posts from these two have always rubbed me the wrong way, and this isn’t helping.
@lisarinnaofficial##wap ##challange @bradgoreski ##fyp♬ original sound – lisarinnaofficial
Lisa Rinna’s signature dancing videos have recently become a source of conflict on RHOBH, and while I wouldn’t love it if my mom was posting stuff like this, Lisa can do whatever she wants. But with this “WAP” video, Lisa has really outdone herself. She’s flashing her crotch, she’s on the floor, she is truly doing the most. Whether you’re team Rinna or not, I really feel like this one could’ve stayed in the drafts.
@hannahg11HE DID NOT JUST GO THERE @therealdbcoop♬ original sound – hannahg11
This video of Hannah and Dylan doing the “It’s the (fill in the blank) for me” trend is actually really cute! Rather than cringing AT this one, I’m cringing on behalf of Hannah, who gets thoroughly clowned by Dylan when he brings up all the other guys she made out with while stringing him along on Bachelor in Paradise. Honestly, good for him for being able to joke about this, because it was pretty rough to watch. Ugh, I miss 2019.
@hannahkbrownwill the real hannah brown please stand up. ##ootd ##pjsallday ##stepintolove ##moodflip ##fyp ##fashion ##style ##streetstyle♬ for when ur indecisive – coolviv69
This video of Hannah trying on a bunch of different outfits exudes strong “I’m not like other girls” energy. Like, good for you, sometimes you wear dresses and sometimes you don’t—is that special? Also, we’re all at home 24/7, so wearing pajamas during the day is basically the norm at this point.
@kelleyflanaganI tried! ##Romeoandjulietchallenge♬ Love Story Discolines – ethanishung
The Bachelor ladies really had a strong showing this week, and this drone footage of Kelley’s awkward dancing on a rock just added to the overall cringe factor. Also… is she trying to say she and Pilot Pete are engaged?? Like, I don’t think she is, but also, is she? If not, the the part about pulling out a ring makes absolutely no sense. I guess I won’t waste too much brain power trying to figure it out.
@perezhiltonIt’s ##GriffinJohnson vs ##CharliDamelio’s parents! Whose side are U on? 🤭 Get my new memoir! Link in bio or at PerezHiltonBook.com♬ Shook – Tkay Maidza
Perez Hilton has always weirded me out, and watching him yell about 15-year-old Charli D’Amelio’s maybe-cheating scandal feels skeezy as f*ck. Perez has made numerous TikToks about Charli’s relationship status, and it’s… bizarre. Get a hobby! Also, this format of his head just popping into the screen from various angles is giving me a headache.
@kelleyflanaganHappy birthday @pilot_pete ❤️❤️♬ Up Beat (Married Life) – Kenyi
This week was Pilot Pete’s 29th birthday, and Kelley celebrated her man with a montage of all their experiences as a couple. Well, all their experiences minus the time he dumped her on a TV show. But the actual cringe part of this is that their entire relationship has taken place during a pandemic, yet this video makes it clear they’ve been doing an awful lot of traveling in the last few months. I get that Peter is a pilot, but like, this is a lot.
@itsjojosiwaMeet Mark:) @mark.bontempo♬ Famous (I’m the One) – Mozzy & IAMSU!
JoJo Siwa has a boyfriend! In case you don’t pay much attention to her, she’s actually not nine years old—she’s 17, and she’s dating a guy named Mark. She introduced him to her followers in this video where he’s wearing one of her signature ridiculous outfits, and you can just see the fear in his eyes, because he knows he’s about to be used for content for as long as this relationship lasts. Good luck, Mark, hope you like finding glitter everywhere!
@gabi_butler1617Having fun with these cuties today 💕 ##cheer ##fyp@ca_bobcat @helenandkennedy @addie.iix @tigerliv♬ Deuces – jordanaudiozz
Gabi Butler was one of the breakout stars of Netflix’s Cheer, which shockingly premiered in 2020, even though it feels like three years ago. This week, Gabi was apparently teaching a cheer session in Texas, where the coronavirus situation is… not great. It’s good that the kids are wearing masks, I guess, but they’re also all literally touching each other. With schools in many states reopening, this is about to be the norm, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
@djpaulydSuper Busy ##Quarantine￼Life ##quarantine ##fyp ##foryoupage ##paulyd ##djpaulyd ￼♬ RICKY DESKTOP THE DICE BEAT – rickydesktop
Pauly D’s TikTok content is mostly fine, though I don’t love his Versace robe. But mainly, I need to bring up his brown leather couch, that looks like those mediocre ice cream sandwiches they handed out at elementary school events. You know, the ones that were wrapped in paper, and mostly just got on your hands? And on top of being ugly, I cannot imagine that is a comfortable couch. Pauly D, please get some better furniture!
Candace Cameron Bure
@candacecameronbHe-Hoo! ##soundofmusic ##LoveOverAll ##Dayspring ##CCBCollection♬ The Lonely Goatherd (From “The Sound of Music”) – Liz Robertson
Now that Fuller House is over, I guess Candace Cameron Bure has a lot of time on her hands, and she’s spending it… learning TikTok dances. Except, I’m not sure this is a TikTok dance so much as choreography from a middle school production of The Sound of Music. Bless her heart, Candace really is trying so hard here, and it shows! I would rather see her attempting the “Savage” dance, honestly, because at least it would be funny.
July 25-August 1:
@addisonre@ondreazlopez♬ hatchback – kekeclipz
Ah yes, Addison, our favorite new Kardashian! Here’s the thing. Addison is so popular on TikTok that she doesn’t even have to care about the quality of her videos anymore. Like, if two people walk in front of the camera while you’re recording, DO ANOTHER TAKE! If my friend is taking pics of me, I’m not gonna post the one with her thumb in front of the lens. This still got five million likes (I’m sick), but come on.
@meghantrainorThat’s my husband @darylsabara 🤣😍💖 ##greysanatomy♬ Grey’s Anatomy – Merrick Lowell
Remember how Meghan Trainor is married to the buy who played Juni in Spy Kids? Well, if you forgot, there you go. Apparently they’ve been watching Grey’s Anatomy recently, and Daryl (the husband) bought some scrubs so he can join in. The thing is, I think they’re joking, but getting cast on Grey’s would be the biggest thing to happen to his career in a very long time. He wishes he could hang with Meredith! Also, I have an inherent distrust of people who are just now discovering Grey’s Anatomy for the first time.
@tanamongeaulolhahahahaha us literally before grocery shopping @abbyrao @saydenseay♬ PICK UP – DaBaby, Quavo
Is it any surprise that Tana Mongeau isn’t following proper social distancing protocols? I already would’ve said no, and then she was seen at that massive influencer party a couple weeks ago. But this time, she’s dancing with her friends in the parking lot before going grocery shopping (why), and though they’re wearing masks, she and her friend “kiss” each other. No, please no. Wearing a mask is great, but it’s not just a cute little costume piece for your funny TikTok.
@derekhoughCan’t help my face ##face ##expression ##dance @nbcworldofdance♬ Watermelon Sugar – Harry Styles
It’s always a little cringe when celebs upload promo videos on TikTok, but I get it. But this—a montage of Derek Hough making faces on World of Dance, set to Harry Styles’ “Watermelon Sugar”—is beyond. The song choice has nothing to do with anything, and the faces are… a lot. It’s no secret that the Hough family is not my favorite, and this isn’t doing anything to help.
@francescafaragoI have absolutely no idea what’s going on here 😂 @colecarrigan1 @caseyboonstra @haleycureton @raiane.macedo♬ suono originale – lamaryrose
Last week, Too Hot To Handle’s Francesca was randomly hanging out with Tana, and this week she’s found a new crew of friends to not quarantine with. Honestly, seeing any video of a group of friends who obviously aren’t social distancing is a little triggering right now, and the LA influencer community seems to be following absolutely no rules. But aside from that, WTF is this video? Are they playing ring around the rosy? Grow up, lol.
@nikitadragun♬ Cousin Stizz – Perfect Ft. City Girls – jgonz860
We already came for YouTube star Nikita Dragun for having a giant mask-free party this week, but the poor pandemic decisions don’t end there. In this video, she’s surrounded by a posse of young men that all look exactly alike, and again, there are no masks here. Nikita, honey, I can send you a mask if you can’t find one!
@foodgodEverything’s BIGGER in Texas! 🍨##foodgod ##icecream ##fypシ♬ original sound – foodgod
Jonathan Cheban, AKA Foodgod, has me blocked on Instagram, so honestly I forget that he exists sometimes. But I’m not safe from seeing his content on TikTok, and it’s just as annoying as you would expect. He posts A LOT, and right now I’m particularly upset by his horrible acting in this obviously staged video. A ginormous ice cream sandwich is pretty much par for the course for Foodgod, but still, ew. Also, I hope this is an old video, because no one is wearing a mask.
@officialhowiemandel♬ Laugh Pause – crispinion
Despite being decades older than the main TikTok demographic, Howie Mandel is actually super successful on the platform. Apparently a lot of Zoomers didn’t even realize he was famous before TikTok, which like, smh. A lot of his videos are cute and/or funny, but this? This is straight-up nightmare fuel. I feel like I’m watching a haunted jack-in-the-box, and I’d like it to stop.
@tanamongeaulolhahahahahahaha francesca is always like what is this SOUND @francescafarago♬ ppcocaine unreleased song – sugarllme
Please welcome back to the stage, Tana Mongeau! After partying with Nikita Dragun this week, Tana also hung out with Francesca from Too Hot To Handle. I swear, these people are seeing more friends in a week during a pandemic than I ever did before corona. Aside from the cringe aspect of hanging out in a state where social gatherings are currently prohibited, this video is also just a complete mess. Truly, what is going on here?
@heidimontag##WhatsUpDocChallenge @prattdaddy ##crystals ##positivity ##goodenergyonly♬ Merrily We Roll – Looney Tunes Cartoons
Someday I will stop paying attention to Heidi’s tragic TikToks, but that day is not today. As usual, she’s shilling for Spencer’s crystal company by holding the crystals up and looking at them like she’s confused. This time, she’s got Looney Toons as her backing track, and her faces and fake running are too much for me to handle. Heidi, please.
@tanamongeaulolit’s ok me 2 @jakepaul 😫❤️♬ Theres more to me than an ostrich video – jujuflowervibes
I think I speak for all of us when I say “TANA NOOOOOOO.” That’s right, Tana is hanging out with Jake Paul again (that’s her ex-fake husband, if you can’t be bothered to remember anything about these people). She says they’re just friends, but 1) why is he cuddling with her during a pandemic and 2) why would she even want to be friends with him? Idk, I just have a bad feeling about this.
@officialreesetiktokWhen your kid has his first single out! @deaconmusic @🎶💫 ##longrun @ninanesbitt♬ Long Run (feat. Nina Nesbitt) – Deacon & Nina Nesbitt
For this one, I’m cringing in solidarity with Reese’s 16-year-old son, Deacon. He just released his first single last week, and of course, Reese wants to turn it into a TikTok dance. The song is catchy AF, btw. I’m sure Deacon appreciates his mom’s support, and it’s cute that she’s so excited for him, but that doesn’t mean the cringe level isn’t off the charts.
@jason_tartick3 cups of coffee + Hamilton Week + Only 3 hours of sleep = THIS♬ You’ll Be Back – Jonathan Groff & Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton
Since Hamilton came to Disney+ earlier this month, it’s been a big trending topic, but a TikTok of Jason Tartick lip-syncing to King George’s song is one piece of content I would’ve been fine without. I can just imagine Kaitlyn coaching him through this, and he probably did 100 takes to get it right. I guess it’s kind of cute, but still, I’ll just watch the real thing.
@heidimontag@prattdaddy♬ GOOBA – 6ix9ine
Look, I almost feel bad including Heidi again, but how does she not know that you if you want the bottle to “explode”, you have to shake the champagne before popping the cork? I refuse to believe Heidi Montag has never popped a bottle in her life. Also, what is this photo shoot for? She’s wearing a yellow dress with sneakers, and in another video, she’s posing with a cowboy hat (not wearing it, posing with it). Whaat is going on?
@perezhiltonThis makes no sense to me!!! Seems… gross? Crazy!!! 🤔 Get my new autobiography! Click the link in my bio or on Amazon or at PerezHiltonBook.com♬ This Magic Moment – Ben E. King
This emoji filter that Perez Hilton is using is the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. You thought The Shining was scary? Try Perez talking about dates through a giant lip emoji. Nope, no thank you, I’d like my money back. Can’t wait to have nightmares about this tonight!
June 26-July 3:
@heidimontag@prattdaddy♬ Follow me if you see this – autumnaudioz
Has Heidi been possessed by aliens? In this video, she’s trying the famous TikTok “slow walk” (which she’s not very good at), but she’s also holding two of Spencer’s crystal necklaces. She says that the crystals have her energy moving, but there is absolutely no energy happening in this video. Her dead-eyed stare into the camera might give me nightmares, not gonna lie.
@jakepaulthis wasn’t a smart idea @kingrygarcia♬ original sound – jakepaul
Around here, Jake Paul is mostly known for his fake marriage to Tana Mongeau, and for generally being an ass, but did you know he’s a professional boxer now? He apparently won his first pro fight in January, but he’s not looking too good in this clip. I know this list is about cringing, but watching him get punched repeatedly is… kind of satisfying.
@kelleyflanagan@pilot_pete my buddy through it all ❤️♬ original sound – ashlaward
I’m sure you weren’t wondering, but just in case you were, Kelley and Pilot Pete are still going strong. Kelley posted this sappy montage of their times together, set to a TikTok sound of some girl talking about how life’s small moments are beautiful. Ew. Conveniently, Kelley left out any clips of her time on The Bachelor, because I guess those don’t really fit with the narrative.
@ritaoraLove is love ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜!!! Happy ##PRIDE!!♬ How To Be Lonely – Rita Ora
We’ve talked a lot about performative allyship in the last month or so, and while I love Rita Ora, this Pride TikTok is a damn mess. She’s been quarantining at a rented cottage in the Cotswolds (very The Holiday vibes), which she filled with about 1,000 balloons, just so she can bust through them and shout “Happy Pride!” Lol, thanks Rita! Also, her new single is playing in the background, because she has to get her product placement in there somewhere. I really hope she donated to some LGBTQ organizations or something, because this video is not it.
@jamescharlestag yourself I’m the chip clip holding my pants together♬ Then Leave – BeatKing
As tempting as it is, I am not here to clown James Charles for his dancing. I could, trust me, but that’s not truly the issue here. Instead, I’m choosing to focus on the moment when he turns sideways, and we see that the waist of his jeans is being held in with a literal clamp. This is a classic move on Say Yes To The Dress, but those women are trying on sample-size dresses that don’t actually fit them. James, please get some jeans that fit. I know you can afford them!
Check back next week for what TikTok messes the celebs have in store for us—can’t wait to see how they continue to ruin this platform!
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Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com; tanamongeaulol, officialreesetiktok, jason_tartick3, perezhilton, heidimontag, jakepaul, kelleyflanagan, hannahg11, jasonderulo, ritaora, jamescharles / TikTok
The strangest thing to me about these Photoshop Fails and Facetune fails is that they’re usually a crime committed by the rich and famous. Well, and the influencers that like to pretend they’re the rich and famous. But most of these people are already way above the societal standard for beauty. They’re the most beautiful, most done-up, in the best shape, and thinnest people we have. They set the standard for everything we are supposed to aspire to look like—
for better or for worse. Really, the people most guilty of altering their images are the people that need it the least. So what gives? Why are they still doing it, and thereby perpetuating this impossible game of catch-up for all of us?
Have we just reached a point in societal pressure that no one is good enough, thin enough, pretty enough? I mean sure, everyone looks in the mirror and finds something wrong on some days. It’s normal. But you’d think the people leading these standards would at the very least be happy with what they look like. Happy enough not to butcher themselves in photos, at least? Why would they need to, if they’re already perfect?
With this, I bring you Rita Ora:
View this post on Instagram
It was such an amazing honour to perform at @amfAR Gala Milano last night 🥰 Their work has raised so much for those in need, please donate to help them continue to make a difference 💫 Thank you to my @escadaofficial family for making me these custom beautiful looks for the night 😍 #amFARmilano #EscadaStars . Look: @escadaofficial Photography: @VittorioZuninoCelotto @gettyimages Makeup: @mariebruce Hair: @rio_hair Styling: @robzangardi @marielhaenn
She’s a total babe, in amazing shape, super beautiful, and talented as hell. This is true in every photo, video, or live appearance of her. It’s a fact. However, this photo is actually one taken by paparazzi at an event, meaning the original version is publicly available. *Cackles to myself* The thing is, I would never think this photo is edited right off the bat. Well, except for my general distrust in all celebrities’ photos. But in this one, there’s no background. No warping. She has the correct amount of fingers (take note, Kardashians). Her proportions are believable. There’s even room for organs! To me, this is just a beautiful woman looking beautiful.
I follow Celebface on Instagram (and so should you!) and it turns out, they have receipts. Rita Ora Facetuned this gorgeous photo. Whyyyyyy?!
Like, is she kidding? Imagine what she’d do if she looked like the rest of us normal people. THIS isn’t good enough for you, Rita?
I made my own GIF of it as well so you can see it more clearly:
The thing that’s crazy to me, is that she barely changed this photo. I mean, why even bother? She took off a couple pounds, I guess? I don’t mind brightening up the lighting, that’s cool. But she already has abs in this photo, clearly she’s barely got any body fat. Why even waste your time making your waist slightly more pinched in? She also thinned out her face, demolishing her gorgeous high cheekbones. Um, what? Is she aware people pay a lot of money on fillers for cheekbones like that? It’s so unnecessary. It’s even worse in the second photo where she pushed in her stomach, made her ass a little bigger (why), and shrunk her boobs. And it’s still just the most minuscule difference.
I’m also just so sick of people making their waists so thin. THIS is why everyone is insecure and thinks carbs are evil. This is why we have the sick diet culture we do. Even thin, fit, ab-having women have some width to their torso. AS THEY SHOULD. It’d just be really nice if everyone would stop pretending they’ve got the waist of an anime character so we can say f*ck it as a collective group. We don’t need corsets, waist-trainers, or Facetune. This is what a fit woman is supposed to look like:
Everyone with Facetune:
I’m so pleased with myself for finding that GIF, it’s SO perfect.
It just goes to show, there is absolutely no one in this world that feels 100% confident in their appearance. However, I think editing your photos, especially as a public figure, to the point that you’re giving yourself a pretend face and body contribute to the very, very, toxic standard that we’re already unable to achieve. Who are they trying to impress at this point? It’s like every celebrity is in a pissing contest to be pretend-thinner than the other. Let it go, people!
Did you suspect Rita’s photo was edited when you first saw it? Do you think celebrities are responsible for the beauty standards they create? How do you think stuff like this plays into our diet/eating disorder culture? Do you edit your photos to look thinner? Let me know in the comments! And send me any Fails you find!
Images: Getty Images; Instagram (@ritaora) (@celebface); Giphy (2)
It’s finally November, which means we’re rapidly approaching one of the year’s most important events: the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. The VS show is always a great opportunity for drinking games and binge eating, and we’re starting to get a pretty good idea of what this year’s event will look like. We have the list of which models will be walking in the show, and now we also know the list of 2018 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show performers. Read on to find out which musical artists will be performing on the runway.
In the past, the performers have included major stars like Taylor Swift, Rihanna, and Lady Gaga, among others. They’ve set a high bar for the talent level in the past, and I’ve gotta be honest, this year’s lineup is a little disappointing. It seems like they went for quantity over quality, because there are seven musical acts performing: Shawn Mendes, The Chainsmokers, Halsey, Rita Ora, Bebe Rexha, Kelsea Ballerini, and The Struts. Let’s unpack, shall we?
Okay, so I’m assuming some of these people will be performing with each other rather than solo, because otherwise this sh*t is going to be seven hours long. Shawn Mendes will probably get to perform by himself, because he’s super famous and cute and talented, and it’s what he deserves. Sure, all of the six-foot-tall models will make him look like a literal child, but I’m okay with it.
I’ve gotta be honest, the trio of Halsey, Rita Ora, and Bebe Rexha seems a little repetitive. I like all three of them, but to have them all performing at the same event doesn’t really seem necessary. Maybe Halsey will do “Closer” with The Chainsmokers? Ah 2016, it was a simpler time. The notable connection between Bebe and Rita is that they’re both Albanian, which they love to talk about. Maybe they’ll come out in Albanian flag costumes and perform together? Probs not, but I’m sure the creative geniuses at Victoria’s Secret will come up with something equally entertaining. Or maybe not. I have little faith.
The duo of The Struts and Kelsea Ballerini are definitely the bottom of the barrel here, and I’m kind of confused why they’re even on the list. Kelsea is a cute country singer, so I guess they’re going for that demographic, but if this means we’re getting a hoedown themed segment in the fashion show, I’m officially done with everything. For the love of god, do not put Adriana Lima in a cowboy hat, I forbid it. The Struts are a random British rock band, and it’s unclear if anyone cares. That’s all.
As for the models walking in the show, there are lots of them, and most really don’t matter. Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid are on the list, as well as long-time favorites like Adriana Lima, Behati Prinsloo, Candice Swanepoel, and Lily Aldridge. Also returning is Devon Windsor, who recently made headlines when she compared the struggles of being blonde to what black people go through. Great!
The 2018 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show airs on December 2, so we’re only a month away! Start working on your fashion show bod—just kidding, it’s far too late.
Images: Giphy (2)
It’s tough to keep up with new music, no matter how much time you spend on your Spotify Discover page. A few weeks ago, I spent time unpacking the legend that is Rita Ora, and you guys had a lot of thoughts. Taking a deep dive into Rita’s career, I was inspired to shine a light on some other underrated music artists who might be slipping through the cracks of your pop culture knowledge. I’m thoroughly obsessed with most of these artists, and I think it’s important that everyone is aware of what they’re missing out on. Let me know if I missed one of your faves, or if there’s anyone else out there who deserves a deep dive. So little time, so many hot rando singers wearing tiny sunglasses on Instagram.
1. Bebe Rexha
You probably don’t recognize Bebe Rexha’s face, and you might not even recognize her name, but you’ve definitely heard her voice. She first shot up the charts in 2015 on G-Eazy’s song “Me, Myself & I,” and she’s recently had a massive country crossover hit with “Meant To Be” featuring Florida Georgia Line. She was also one of the featured artists on Rita Ora’s song “Girls,” which is iconic for its own reasons. Overall, Bebe has great style, a really charming personality, and a surprisingly great voice. Bebe doesn’t love sharing her personal life, but there have been past rumors about her dating DJ Martin Garrix and former 1D member Louis Tomlinson, both of whom she’s collaborated with. Her debut album, Expectations, is finally here, and Bebe is poised to be a huge star.
“Expectations” is coming. I’m really nervous, but I’m excited too. I’ve been working so hard on this album and I don’t know what to expect. I just want to put it out and then move to a small town in Europe for a couple months and then come out of hiding after. Lol. And hopefully when I come back you’ll love it as much as I do. Xo Bebe
If I’m honest, it’s a fucking crime that Tinashe isn’t a household name by now. She’s been around for a few years, but her biggest hit is still her debut single, “2 On.” You know the one, it’s a goddamn bop. Tinashe has bounced back and forth between a cool R&B/hip-hop sound and more traditional pop, and she’s always claimed Britney Spears as her top musical idol. She was featured on Brit’s song “Slumber Party” a couple years ago, and the video is truly one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen. In recent weeks, Tinashe was in the news because her ex Ben Simmons allegedly cheated on her with Kendall Jenner. Tinashe really deserves better, so you should probably go listen to her new album, Joyride. It’s good, you’ll like it.
3. Troye Sivan
Let me clear the air by noting that I am a gay man and I want to have so much sex with Troye Sivan. Troye, who is both South African and Australian (the accent is glorious) is already a gay icon, but everyone needs to know. His debut album back in 2015 was kind of a moody Lorde vibe, but this year he’s ready to take over the pop world. His songs “Bloom” and “My My My!” are catchy as fuck, and he just dropped a new song featuring our favorite bride-to-be, Ariana Grande. Troye has a hot boyfriend named Jacob Bixenman, and he’s also the new face of both Valentino and Saint Laurent. Pay attention, because this kid is about to be fucking everywhere.
4. Dua Lipa
Over the past year, Dua Lipa has made a ton of progress in her career. She released her debut album last summer, and her song “New Rules” was really the only thing that stopped me from sending risky texts in 2017. (But I’m back on my bullshit in 2018, sorry Dua.) Her look is so fucking cool, and all her music is great. Her single “IDGAF” is getting big, and her song “One Kiss” with Calvin Harris is also a major vibe. Dua is only 22, but she’s already had high-profile relationships with a couple people that are definitely UK-famous, even if we haven’t heard of them. Recently, it appears that she’s broken her own rules by getting back with her ex, celebrity chef/model (lol) Isaac Carew. He’s hot AF, but also people think she might be dating Calvin Harris, which I really hope is just a rumor. Calvin, keep your grubby little Taylor Swift hands off our girl.
Anne-Marie is another British dance-pop rising star that I’ve been obsessed with for like, two years because she was on some random Spotify playlist. Can you tell I have a type? She’s had a number of songs that were big hits in the UK, but for some reason no one in the US has really started to care. Start with “Ciao Adios” and “Alarm,” but the more recent song of the summer contender is the throwback anthem “2002.” Actually everything about Anne-Marie gives me an early 2000s vibe, and I’m loving it. Anne-Marie doesn’t like to talk about who she’s dating, but she recently said in an interview that she’s dated both men and women. She’s friends with Ed Sheeran, which is a downside, but nobody’s perfect.
6. Charlie Puth
Okay, you all know about Charlie Puth, but do you really know about Charlie Puth? He’s both talented and hot, and we’ve slept on him for far too long. Actually, scratch that, I would definitely sleep on him. Charlie’s been around for a while, and his biggest hits include “See You Again,” “Marvin Gaye,” unfortunately featuring Meghan Trainor, and “We Don’t Talk Anymore” featuring Selena Gomez, which is a perfect pop song. Actually, I really think Charlie and Selena would make an amazing couple, so like, the universe should make that happen. (I want the record to reflect that I’ve secretly been shipping them for years.) Charlie has an awesome voice, but he also writes and produces all his music himself, which is really impressive. Basically, imagine if Justin Bieber was also Diplo, but also not someone you’d be ashamed to introduce to your dad. The low point of Charlie’s career was when he made out with Meghan Trainor onstage at the American Music Awards, but he basically admitted it was just a publicity stunt.
Ah yes, Grimes, the indie darling of the past decade. People who like artsy music have been obsessed with Grimes since at least 2012, but she’s never really broken into the mainstream. Really, I’m not sure she wants to. That’s partly why it was so surprising when she showed up at the Met Gala last month with Elon Musk. She’s dated a couple music dudes before, but a public relationship with one of the most rich and famous men in the world is definite departure for her. I’m v curious to see if this will be a more permanent shift in her persona, or just a one-time deal. Either way, her last two albums are excellent, and you should really give them a listen.
8. Kim Petras
Kim Petras is definitely the least famous person on this list, but I have a feeling that could change soon. Kim is everything a pop princess should be, serving up iconic looks and banger after banger. Her debut single “I Don’t Want It At All” is incredible, and the video features a cameo from Paris Hilton. Kim, who hails from Germany, just launched her music career last year, but she’s actually been famous for a long time. Back in 2008, Kim became one of the youngest people to ever have gender reassignment surgery, at 16, making her kind of an icon in the trans community. It’s been cool to see her resurface as a rising pop star, and she’ll be touring with Troye Sivan this fall.
Images: beberexha, tinashenow, troyesivan, dualipa, annemarie, charlieputh, grimes, kimpetras / Instagram
Not all celebrities are created equal. While I love accomplished actors and singers, I prefer famous people with a little more confusing resumes. Case in point: Rita Ora. While you’ve probably heard of her, you also probably have no idea why. Why was she at the Met Gala? Why does every tabloid cover everything she does? Even if you could name one thing she’s done, you’re most likely still blissfully unaware of how much of a clusterfuck her career has been. Luckily, I’ve done way too much research and am prepared to talk about Queen Rita’s myriad accomplishments so none of you have to waste the energy typing her name into Google and figuring out the timeline of her career yourselves.
Here’s some background on Rita Ora. She was born in 1990 in Yugoslavia, but her family moved to the UK a year later because of major political turmoil and ethnic persecution. I’m not going to explain the entire Yugoslavia situation (you have Wikipedia, use it), but it was bad. Fast forward, when Rita became one of the first artists signed to Jay-Z’s record label and started making YouTube videos. She started getting big in the UK after she was featured in this EDM song “Hot Right Now,” which you have absolutely never heard if you live in the US. Early Rita Ora is very 2010, kind of like Rihanna’s “We Found Love” phase, but obviously not as good.
For some reason, I first became aware of Rita in 2012, when she released her debut album. It was really only big in the UK, but there’s a slim chance you might have heard the songs “R.I.P.” or “How We Do (Party).” No? That’s okay too, none of this matters. She started making announcements about her second album in 2013, but there’s still no word on when this album is coming. I’m not like, a music industry insider, but I feel like it can’t be a good thing when your album has been “coming soon” for a full five years. In terms of music, you most likely know her from being featured on Iggy Azalea’s song “Black Widow” back in 2014. Classic stuff. She’s actually released a few new songs in the past few months, and they’re not bad. I particularly like “Anywhere,” and this makes me think that there might be an actual album that exists.
In the half a decade that her second album has been allegedly in the works, Rita has stayed busy with a wide variety of projects. She’s been a judge/coach on the UK versions of both The Voice and The X Factor, which really says a lot. Going on one singing competition show is one thing, but judging two is a pretty good indicator that your music career isn’t exactly breaking records. Like, there’s a reason you don’t see Drake judging the new American Idol.
Rita has also done some work as an ~actress~, and by that I mean she was in Fifty Shades of Grey. She played Christian’s sister in all three movies (they look nothing alike), and in the third one she even got a juicy kidnapping subplot. Yes girl, act! For the most recent movie, she even got to do a song with Liam Payne for the soundtrack, which is actually more impressive than being in the movie itself. Fifty Shades is probably how half of you know about Rita, which is one of the saddest things you can say about someone’s career. It’s like the Hollywood equivalent of being known in the office for bringing a lunch that smells weird.
If you’re not aware of Rita’s legendary acting work or iconic music career, perhaps you know her from her brief stint on America’s Next Top Model. Remember back in 2016, when they tried to do a season without Tyra Banks? Remember how everyone hated it? Yeah, Rita Ora was the one who hosted that train wreck. I’m not sure who thought this was a great idea, considering that Rita is not actually a supermodel, but I can commend her people for getting her that gig.
So what is Rita Ora up to right now? Well, she just started a new European tour, which is supposedly in support of her second album that does not technically exist yet. She also just released a new song, “Girls,” featuring Bebe Rexha, Charli XCX, and Cardi B. It’s impressive that Rita got all these people (especially Cardi) on her song, but the song itself unfortunately got started off on the wrong foot. Notably, there was backlash claiming that the song is disrespectful to the LGBT community, because the song is all about how sometimes girls just want to make out with girls—but it’s implied they mean it in like, a drunk way. Because of the criticism, Rita was forced to clarify that the song is actually about her own experiences having relationships with men and women. This week, Rita dropped the video for the song, and I honestly love it. Rita looks hot AF, and things are great until Cardi B appears in her Jackie-O wig as some sort of hologram thought bubble. I love Cardi B, but I have to admit I’m confused why she’s here. At least Rita saved the best outfits for herself, a true betch move.
Also, this unintentionally shady tweet from Cardi B is my favorite thing to ever exist.
Maybe someday Rita will have a singular accomplishment that turns her into an A-list star, but for now we will just have to watch as the Daily Mail covers her every outfit change as if it’s a breaking news story. Hopefully she’ll continue being invited to every single red carpet event for no apparent reason, because at this point I would miss her. Next time you’re looking at red carpet photos and see Rita, take a moment to appreciate her. You’ll probably still have to check the caption to figure out who the fuck she is, but at least now you’ll know how hard she’s tried to become famous.
Images: Shutterstock; Giphy (2); @ritaora / Instagram; @iamcardib / Twitter