Well, that didn’t take long. No one pounces on a potential business opportunity faster than a Kardashian-Jenner, and Kylie is officially cornering the market on “Rise and Shine.” After the entire world spent the last week making memes about Kylie Jenner’s instantly iconic singing moment, she’s filed trademark applications to make products with the phrase. After all the jokes we made at her expense, “Rise and Shine” really might be her path to world domination.
According to documents obtained by The Blast, last Thursday Kylie Jenner officially filed to obtain trademarks for both “Rise and Shine” and “Riiise and Shiiine,” and I applaud her for acknowledging both correct spellings of the phrase. Seriously, this is such a smart business move, and Kylie is already cashing in on her unexpectedly viral singing. On the same day she filed the trademark documents, she started selling two new hoodies on her website, and they’re both now sold out. This is probably a good thing, because I really don’t need to spend $65 on a Kylie Jenner hoodie, but I also can’t be trusted with money. The funny thing is, the website states that your “item will ship 4-5 weeks from date of purchase.” 4-5 WEEKS? So all these people spent $65 on a hoodie that they’re not going to get until a month after everyone has moved on from caring. This family truly is the worst.
Kylie Jenner isn’t just planning to use her new catchphrase on clothing, though. The trademark documents also include cosmetic products, suggesting that Kylie will definitely be doing a Rise and Shine-themed Kylie Cosmetics launch soon. Good god. This is 0% surprising, because Kylie basically uses everything in her life for makeup inspiration. A birthday collection? She does it every year. Collabs with her sisters and her mom? Of course. A line with her infant daughter’s name slapped on it? Anything goes. It’s probably only a matter of days before teenage girls are spending their birthday money on a Rise and Shine Kylighter and Kyshadow palette.
As we’ve discussed before, Kylie Jenner has plenty of experience with getting things trademarked. Through her company Kylie Jenner, Inc., she has dozens of trademarks, mostly for variations of her name and Kylie Cosmetics products. She also has Stormi’s name trademarked, because of course. Famously, she was denied when she tried to trademark the name “Kylie,” because that’s just a normal human name, and also, Kylie Minogue was famous way before her. This tweet is still iconic to me:
Hello….. My name is KYLIE #lightyears
— Kylie Minogue (@kylieminogue) February 28, 2016
Interestingly, the trademark documents don’t make any mention of Kylie using the phrase in a musical capacity, so my secret hopes fears that Kylie is going to use this as her foray into a music career seem unfounded, at least for the moment. I don’t think Kylie is a great singer or anything, but I will still shamelessly listen to a trashy pop song. I still have Kim Kardashian’s one pathetic attempt at music in my iTunes library, sue me.
It usually takes a while for these trademark applications to be approved, so for now, you can still buy Rise and Shine stuff that isn’t $65, like this Shop Betches mug. But before long, Kylie Jenner might be making another billion dollars off of her awkward singing. Honestly, I stan a genius.
Images: Shutterstock; kyliejennershop.com; kylieminogue / Twitter; Shop Betches
Last week, in the wake of all her breakup drama with Travis Scott, Kylie Jenner turned her focus to her YouTube channel, posting a 16-minute video tour of her Kylie Cosmetics office. People had lots to say about the office, including us. I may or may not have filed a formal request for Betches HQ to install a champagne vending machine, but I’m still waiting to hear back. But there was one specific moment in the video that, despite not getting a lot of attention at first, has now gone completely viral.
At the end of the video, Kylie shows us Stormi’s playroom at the office, and she wakes her up by singing “rise and shine,” in a voice that can only be described as a bad American Idol audition from 2004. It’s so bad, but I can’t stop listening to it, and I’m not the only one. Over the past few days, the internet has collectively been clowning Kylie for her singing nonstop, and Rise and Shine has brought us some of the greatest memes in recent memory. Kylie might not have a singing career in her future, but she’s still bringing us flawless content.
There are really too many good Rise and Shine memes to count, but I’ve taken the liberty of putting together some of the best all in one place. I would say this was a pain in the ass, but I’ve pretty much been laughing at these all morning, so I was happy to do it. The only downside is that “Rise and Shine” will be stuck in my head for long after everyone stops caring about this meme. Here are the best Rise and Shine memes, in all their glory.
This meme on Off Campus was what really kicked off my obsession with Kylie’s iconic singing. Friends, never pay for your own Uber after spending the night at a guy’s apartment. You deserve better.
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Kylie Jenner: The Beatles
ᴿⁱˢᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢʰⁱⁿᵉ— natalie🦋 (@natcarmichael_) October 14, 2019
Like, who even are The Beatles? The Beatles are old af, and they haven’t even put out new music in like, 50 years. Kylie, on the other hand, is young, hot, and a billionaire. The Beatles could absolutely never!!!
— Dylan Hafer (@thedylanhafer) October 17, 2019
Okay yes, I made this, but that doesn’t stop me from laughing every single time I see it. Sue me!! If this isn’t what the Coachella lineup looks like this year, I don’t wanna go. Actually I don’t want to go either way, because I don’t need to be sunburnt and dehydrated in the desert, but I still think this should be the lineup.
NOT ARIANA DOING THE KYLIE SINGING SHSKSDHKDJDJD pic.twitter.com/ozTCyQ26XZ
— isabella (@vminsrem) October 16, 2019
God damn, this is good. I haven’t thought much about Ariana Grande lately (times have changed since last year), but she really went there. It’s a pretty perfect impression, and in the caption she asks Kylie if she can sample her. I’m calling it now, “Rise and Shine” is going to be Ariana Grande’s next hit single, and maybe Kylie will be a chart topper after all.
when u really wanna sleep in but Kylie told u to rise n shine :/
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) October 17, 2019
RISE N SHINE BETCH. To be honest, my internal clock/circadian rhythm/whatever the f*ck it is hasn’t let me sleep in in years, but I still don’t want to be woken up by the sound of Kylie singing.
LMAOO I DID IT!!!! RISE AND SHINE pic.twitter.com/yXYkqQKmmV
— 𝓡𝓲𝓲𝓢𝓮 𝓪𝓝𝓭 𝓢𝓱𝓲𝓝𝓔 🦋 (@DEQUANFOREVER) October 17, 2019
…But if you do want to be woken up by the sound of Kylie Jenner, someone figured out how to make the song into an iPhone alarm/ringtone. I don’t know how to actually do this, but now I actually really want this to be my alarm.
I’m not sure I fully understand the meaning of Jed’s face being put on Kylie’s, but it’s really f*cking funny either way. That grin is honestly haunting, which is perfect because the song is haunting me too.
Oh my god. I know videos are annoying, but please, please watch this. I have a degree in musical theatre, and this is f*cking brilliant. They made Rise and Shine sound like every single song from a musical written in 2019, and it’s perfectly dramatic. Brb, listening to this 50 more times.
“Rise and Shine” probably won’t be a popular meme for that much longer, since the collective attention span of the internet is pretty short. But I’m enjoying this while I can. Now rise and shine!
offcampus / Instagram; natcarmichael_, thedylanhafer, vminsrem / Twitter; Daniel Ruffing / YouTube
