With all the Kardashian pregnancy news going around, it can be easy to forget that our favorite kind-of-member of the family, Scott, is still just busy being a hoe. He was spotted on the beach this weekend hanging out with Sofia Richie, and this picture that was snapped of them is one of the most interesting things we’ve ever seen. He looks SO happy, and she looks like she’s going to a bikini funeral. So we decided to break down some possible scenarios of what’s going on with Sofia and Scott, and you can decide what you think is real.
When we saw the photo, one of the first things we noticed is that Sofia’s swimsuit top is, um, a little small? Maybe she’s upset because she didn’t want to show underboob at the beach, but Scott is excited because he’s a 34-year-old man who still gets giddy around boobs.
Sofia: Ah fuck, I swear this fit me last month!
Scott: Ayyyy. Lmao, BOOBS.
Sofia: Scott, shut the fuck up; this is why Kourtney left you.
What if Scott is smiling because he just saw a cute video of his kids, and Sofia’s looking emo because she was literally 11 when Scott started having kids? Like, that can’t feel good. Kourtney Kardashian is physically old enough to be Sofia’s mom.
Scott: OMG, look at this video of Mason that Kourt just sent me!
Sofia: If I had eaten anything today, I would throw up right now.
Scott: Why do you hate my kids?
Sofia: I’m too young to care about anything that’s not myself, remember?
Scott: Wait, how old are you again?
Okay, hear us out. What if Sofia just told Scott they need to take a break, and he’s actually super happy/relieved because that’s what he wanted too, but he didn’t want to literally break a 19-year-old’s heart? Like, he’s definitely only in this for the sex.
Sofia: I’m really really sorry, I just can’t do this anymore. I need to go back to living at home and being lame like a normal teenager.
Scott: Oh, wow. I’m…um…so sad! But you know, do whatever you need to do!
Sofia: I’m gonna miss you so much, but it’s what I need right now.
Scott: Wait, did you say you’re a teenager? Whatever, I’m gonna go text Bella Thorne!