Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

Mazel and welcome to another edition of crazy wedding stories, brought to you by Reddit, our ongoing source of anonymous entertainment and shaming as it relates to matrimony. Today’s story comes to us from the always enthralling Reddit Am I The Asshole (AITA) subreddit, where clueless folks post long-winded tales and ask an audience of casual Reddit readers if their actions are defensible or deplorable. AITA has brought us grooms who want to wear jeans to their wedding, kick their sister out for not allowing kids to come at the last minute, and many more tales of wedding assholery.

This week, a man explains to us why he just doesn’t understand why his fianceé can’t find a wedding dress for $50-100. Why are men like this?

WTF Happened

The thread, titled “AITA i (38 m) for telling my fiancee (f 27) her wedding dress choice is way too extravagant and suggesting alternatives?” already raises a few red flags for me, as the groom in question is 11 years older than the bride-to-be (come at me all you want, but I read a lot of relationship advice subreddits, and often times when someone acts like a controlling asshole, there’s a big age gap involved) and trying to mansplain why a wedding dress is extravagant. Ugh, you douche. That aside, let’s dive in.

The groom writes:

“We are getting married in July of this year, the venue is booked and the wedding is pretty much sorted.

Emma has been researching dresses and has a little scrap book of lots of dresses she likes for ideas but is now looking to buy.

All that’s left to get is the bridesmaid dresses and her wedding dress.

We jointly put aside 10k each for the wedding, everything is paid and we have 6k left over, which I think could go towards the honeymoon on top of the honeymoon fund we already had.

We aren’t the extravagant type at all, then comes the time for Emma to pick her dress. I know everything is more expensive when it has the term wedding attached to it. What I wasn’t expecting was a $950 dress plus $120 veil!

I’m using my dad’s old tux he used for his wedding to my mom, just had it taken in a little, Emma can’t use her mum’s dress as her and her mum both say the style hasn’t aged well, which is fair.

First off, I consider myself hashtag BLESSED to have a husband that can f*cking spell and understands proper grammar (I tried to correct the most egregious errors, but I didn’t feel like rewriting this guy’s entire post). That aside, the fact that this groom thinks $950 for a dress is expensive is laughable. I don’t recall even SEEING anything in that price range when I was wedding dress shopping, and I’m a f*cking bargain hunter. That’s great that groomzilla wants to wear his dad’s old-ass tux. I’m sure it isn’t dusty and I’m sure it doesn’t smell like 30-year-old sweat and cheap booze. Oh, and jazz snaps for acknowledging that the mother’s dress probably hasn’t aged well. So far, this is eye-roll-worthy at best, but it gets so much worse.

Yeah, It Gets So Much Worse

I had a quick google around at dresses online and there were so many! And so many just like the one Emma wants for like $50 to $100.

I’m not trying to get her to cheap out on her dress but she will literally wear it once, one dress for over $1,000 is just insane that would fund our honeymoon.

I tried to show her some dresses I found on a recommended app called Wish and but she was having none of it.

She is very slender but apparantly wants it specially fitted?

It turned nasty unfortunately because I said I refuse to drop such a large amount of money on a dress and she argued that she is using her own money for the dress.

Wich isn’t strictly true as we ate about to marry and our finances will be joined.

Then her mom had to get involved, they offered to pay for the dress but it’s not a case of not being able to afford it.

It’s a dress! there are identical ones online at a fraction of the cost.

I thought she would be ecstatic to learn there are identical dresses for a fraction of the cost but she was really angry and upset.

Hey, at least this guy knows how to Google, amirite? How commendable. Too bad he apparently doesn’t understand that you get what you pay for, and a cheap dress off some random site is probably not going to look like the picture. Additionally, for the groom to comment on his wife-to-be wanting her dress “fitted” is laughable. Has this jackass never seen Say Yes To The Dress, been to a single wedding, or ever just lived in a society? Of course the dress will be f*cking fitted! This isn’t some 8th grade dance dress she can buy off the rack at JC Penney. This is her wedding day and, short of the day she possibly has a kid or graduates with a Master’s or adopts six dogs, it’s pretty f*cking memorable and important.

The kicker, for me anyway, is that the bride is offering to use her own cash or her parent’s cash, and this guy is still clinging to his principles related to what he thinks the dress should cost. I don’t care how many “identical” dresses you found on Google that are likely created by tiny child slave hands for a fraction of the price. Let the woman get her f*cking dress. It has NOTHING to do with you and it isn’t your call, dude. I feel like the only reason this guy is so opposed to spending $1,000 of money that isn’t even his money yet, is because unlike the honeymoon, the dress doesn’t involve him and he doesn’t get to enjoy it.

Call Off That Wedding

AITA here? Is there something I am seriously missing because after we argued about the dress, Emma has been extremely cold towards me.

Then yesterday she said if I want her to cheap out on her wedding dress on her wedding day that she needs to really consider if we are a good match for marriage.

I’m blown away that she would say that over a dress, I told her she’s like a toddler throwing a tantrum over a sparkly toy she can’t have, that was a mistake as she left to stay with her parent’s, who called to tell me I am much more than an asshole.

Anddd see what I mean about the age gap thing? The only toddler throwing a tantrum here is this guy who realized he may not be able to control his fiancée without pushback for the rest of their lives. So sad for him.

Don’t worry, Reddit promptly called him the asshole. The top comment by Redditor milee30 read, “YTA. You say you don’t want her to cheap out, but then you say you want her to buy a $50 -$100 wedding dress. That’s cheap. That’s cheap even for a regular dress. Those cheap dresses you’re finding online will look terrible in person and are the source of so many disappointed women and jokes. Wedding dresses and their tailoring are expensive. $1,000 is actually a low priced dress. Regardless of dress type, though, your reaction to her—calling her names and deciding you have veto power—is the real problem. You should be solving this issue together. If you can’t, maybe it’s not time to get married yet.”

And this story gets better, because OP posted an update.

EDIT: Emma found this thread, it was a mistake to post here and I’m sorry I posted our problems on reddit, iata

Yes, buddy, you are, in fact, the asshole here—but you’re an asshole because you’re controlling and have totally unrealistic expectations, and you’re trying to bully your fiancée into fitting those unrealistic expectations… not because you posted your relationship problems on Reddit. I hope this guy ends up at the altar alone for being such an absolute d*ck.

For Emma’s sake, I hope she called off the wedding. This guy sounds like red flag city, and if he’s going to bully her into cheaping out on a sh*tty wedding dress, who knows what other kind of stunts he’ll pull in the future (why would we buy a house when we can get this $2,000 shoebox in a crappy area that barely fits our bed?). Emma, if you’re reading this, blink twice if you need help.

Images: Charisse Kenion, Unsplash; Giphy (3)

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

You guys know how livid I get when people suggest you do something for “exposure”. You know why? It’s never the legit companies and brands that will actually give you good exposure that pull this sh*t. They understand the value of work and talent. It’s always no-name brands that will offer to “expose” you to their 12 followers. Take it from someone who’s been there—any job worth the exposure would actually pay you. This upcoming story, though, is somehow even worse than your regular, run-of-the-mill, cheap-ass unknown brand looking for free work. Because it’s a cheap-ass unknown person who thinks YOU should pay for literally everything in her entire wedding. I know what you’re thinking, and no, she’s not even an influencer!!

The Set-Up

Today’s story comes from Reddit’s /choosingbeggars subreddit, where a total douche-monkey of a human posted the most asinine Facebook post ever. WHO is friends with this trash anyway to see this post, I ask you? It starts off like this:

Ah yes, a brutal reminder of why I hate the South. “Hi y’all!”—it’s like she’s already gearing up to pyramid scheme all of us. Why do I already want to punch this chick in the face? “I can lol I deserve it”! All I can think of is this:

Also what the f*ck is with all the typos? “Afe getribg”? Girl, with that kind of proofreading, you should be writing for BuzzFeed (ba-dum ching). All I can do with this so far is feel really badly for Mr. David. But of course we’re just getting started.

Mrs. David goes on to tell us that she got a free historic wedding venue because Mr. David’s godmother owns it. Cool, good for you, Glen Coco. She even says, “This means my wedding will be historical! Lol!” Oh yes, I’m so sure that one day children will study the dream wedding of Mrs. David in their history books. Lol.

The Entitlement

So because the estate is far away and they’re having their honeymoon in Dubai, Mrs. David reasons that she shouldn’t have to pay for a damn thing in her own wedding. Sure, sure. She already has a free venue but why should she pay for travel costs?

Or a photographer?

Or a caterer?

Or a dress?

Or music? Flowers? Seating? And BTW, it must be an orchestra, because “this will be classy”.

But don’t worry everyone! Because, and I kid you not, Mrs. David is starting AN INSTAGRAM SOON! So you will be, and again, I quote, “begging for the opportunity” to work for exposure! Because obviously, Mrs. David will be an instant Instagram hit, making millions and paying you back for feeding probably 200 people in exposure!

I honestly wish I was kidding:

I’m not actually convinced this isn’t satire.

My favorite part is how Mrs. David demands that everyone be a professional (“not a hobby but getting PAID AS A JOB”) even though she isn’t willing to pay them at all. Does she not see the irony? Let me tell you, if anyone is willing to work for free for absolutely no reason, it means they can’t charge for their work. Meaning they aren’t paid for the work. Meaning they are not a professional, which by definition means being paid for said work.

Also, here’s what I don’t understand. They can afford a honeymoon in Dubai, but didn’t plan even a minor budget for a wedding? Don’t get me wrong, I can get behind the idea—I’d much rather go to Dubai then have a wedding—but then just… don’t have the wedding? They’re not even paying for a venue, or a dress, like I don’t understand how Mrs. David thought she’d have an entire wedding for free? Paid for by whom? Like, all of these people would have to pay out of their own pockets for these services, so that Mrs. David and her seven followers will give them exposure? I cannot comprehend this at all.

The Closing

Mrs. David then wraps it up:

Yeah, I’m sure everyone is just gonna jump right on that. While I’m so grateful to the Redditor who posted this, I’m a little salty that they included no comments. Like, the comments have to be absolutely amazing, right? What do you even say to something like this? I’ve got to acknowledge that this story seems fake, like that other viral wedding story that turned out to be a marketing ploy, but it’s more fun for me to act as if it’s real. I mean, people do suck, so you really never know.

All I can say is good luck to Mrs. David and her free dream wedding, and to Mr. David, I only have three words: Witness Protection Program.

Images: Fernanda Prado / Unsplash; Reddit; Tenor

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

For this wedding story, you need to fully understand how much goes into a wedding. It’s months, if not years, of picking the perfect venue, planning the perfect meal options, picking out each and every flower on the table. To me, this circus seems kind of like a nightmare scenario save for the open bar, but people spend thousands upon thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) for their wedding day. It’s a Big Deal, and a lot of time and money. A lot of people have had their dream weddings planned in their heads since they were children. I wasn’t really that kind of kid—instead, I would play Barbie, where she was a doctor/pilot/vet/mermaid/newspaper delivery girl (IDK why this was interesting, I think it was the matching pink bike). Whoever was my favorite at the time would also own ALL of the Barbie clothes so she could do a quick outfit change, while the reject Barbies sat naked in a pile in my closet. If anything, I was playing “serial killer” and didn’t even realize it. That aside, weddings mean a lot to people, both emotionally and financially. But let’s put ourselves in the shoes of the Redditor who posted in the Am I The Asshole forum about his wedding.

The Set-Up

Imagine planning your dream wedding. You know, the one you played out in your head as a small child, unless you were playing “serial killer” instead (hi). It’s 3 days away. You and your fiancée are super excited. She calls the venue to confirm a few things… only to find out that the entire wedding has been changed. Again, just DAYS before you’re supposed to walk down the aisle.

My girlfriend had no clue what he was talking about, and he reminded her of all the changes that had been put in recently. We had not approved any of these changes. We were able to get some of it put back the way it was but there are some things that we couldn’t change back at such short notice.

And it turns out… it was SABOTAGE!

The venue had been receiving emails from a nearly identical email address requesting these changes:

The venue forwarded us the emails asking for the changes so we could look over them. Our communication was being done via an email account we created solely for wedding stuff, and the email address which asked for the changes is the exact same address, except 2 letters are switched round.

And even worse, they were the exact same changes that the bride and groom got in huge fights with their parents about. In fact, the arguing had gotten so heated that the couple told their parents to f*ck all the way off, and that they would pay for the wedding themselves. So. I’m not a detective. But I’m pretty sure I know who made all the false changes. Luckily, our groom here is also a genius and cracked the case.

Right now the stuff that we wanted that is still in this wedding is my suit, the venue and the DJ. My girlfriend has gone to pick up her dress and she’s not heard from the shop so we’re assuming that hasn’t changed. I’m calling round everyone and it looks like the menu has been changed, as has the guest list and the cake. We paid for the wedding we’d planned and it looks like any additional costs from the changes (such as the extra people) were paid for by someone else, but they wouldn’t give me any of the card info for legal reasons.

We probably won’t be speaking to our parents again after this, unless one of them owns up in which case we’ll just stop speaking to that one, but this feels like a joint effort as it’s dealt with both sets of parent’s complaints.

This just really sucks, especially because they paid for their own wedding just to have it completely ruined. Also, could you imagine your guest list being altered like this? Some of your friends no longer being invited? Look, I have crazy parents but this is just so low. Did the parents think they somehow wouldn’t notice when they showed up to their wedding and everything was wrong?

The Problem

At this point—rightfully so, IMO—the couple is over it and want to elope and cancel the wedding. It’s not even their wedding at this point. Who could blame them? But there’s just a little, small issue:

However, we now have around 200 people attending this wedding in 3 days (our original guest list was about 100 including families and plus ones). People have booked hotels, planes, trains, and are coming from other countries to be here. None of these people have done anything to us and would be getting caught in the crossfire if we were to elope instead.

Unfortunately, all their family and friends already have this wedding trip planned and have no idea what’s happened. It’s also in three days. So this leads to the OP’s question: Are they the assholes if the cancel their sham of a wedding and elope?

Personally, I would still have the event, but cancel the ceremony part if it’s not what I want. Like, just do the reception and have the big party celebrating the marriage with my guest list (and the parents would not be on it). I would rip the venue a new asshole because, HI, you have a contract, and if they’re too dumb to double-check changes and read an email address, that is on them. I get that it’s a very strange situation, but at the end of the day, it’s the venue’s job to make sure everything is correct. I would get everything wrong completely refunded and I’d want some sh*t for free, too. Then I’d elope or do a small wedding ceremony my way and probably put a hit out on the parents.

Literally me in this scenario:

The Verdict

Most of Reddit seems to agree: our OP is NOT the asshole, the horrible parents are. But given that all their friends and non-insane family took the trouble to fly out, most of the opinions were similar to mine: salvage what you can of the wedding. but go through with at least the reception part. No reason to throw away all that money (and open bar!) when it’s already paid for and you probably can’t get the deposits all back. A few commenters even suggested getting bouncers for the parents—that is absolutely genius. I still would strongly consider suing the venue/the parents for money lost/paid for a wedding that wasn’t what they wanted, so they can have a proper redo or at least go on an awesome trip to make up for it.

Well, the OP thankfully updated, so here’s what went down:

FINAL UPDATE:

We had a small private thing where we signed the certificate with our closest friends, then we went to the planned ceremony and had a short service where we exchanged rings, followed by a reception.

We told the parents that they were not invited, told the venue they weren’t invited, the venue put what was essentially a bouncer at the door, and they still got in. They don’t seem to understand what they did wrong as they boasted to their guests that “they planned this, but we changed it to what you’re currently seeing” and their own guests ended up being the ones to tell them how fucked up that was. They were pretty much shamed by their guests into leaving about an hour after they arrived. Also, half their guests didn’t show, it was probably about 60-70% our guests in the end, and we definitely had the majority. Food (including cake) was sorted out but not decor, and venue are refunding us 50%, which was going to be 30%, but then they let the parents in.

We only spoke to them once to tell them that because after completely f*cking up our wedding plans they then couldn’t honour one simple request to not come, they would not be hearing from us, potentially ever again, and if they contacted us that would change to definitely never hearing from us again.

We are currently in the cab on our way to get drinks with the same friends who were at the signing earlier and then off on our honeymoon.

Okay, remember my suing the venue idea? They screwed up a binding contract and still let the demon parents in? The venue should have refunded everything at this point. They really, really suck at their jobs. I hope the OP and his new wife at least got to enjoy parts of their wedding, because this whole situation was majorly f*cked up. What would do if this happened to you? Obviously the parents are at fault, but would you also blame the venue? I mean, are you telling me any crazy person could makeup an email address and screw up anyone else’s wedding and no one will verify? If so, I may need to incorporate this into some kind of revenge scheme at some point. Do you think the OP did the right thing? Would you ever speak to your parents again? LMK.

Images: Scott Broome / Unsplash; Giphy (3)

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

Once again, we prove two things thanks to internet stories. First, weddings make everyone lose all sense of proper decorum (if they ever had it to begin with, I guess, is up for debate). That’s why we continue to post these week after week. Second, which is not relevant to all crazy wedding stories, but certainly this one: The bar for men is literally buried roughly six to 20 feet below ground. It’s stories like these that make me thankful I’m married to a guy who is willing to make compromises and sacrifices, which is more than the groom in this Reddit story is willing to do. But, wait, isn’t that the whole point of marriage? That and the tax breaks. My husband also wore a suit to our wedding, which again, seems like the baseline standard, but is apparently too much for this Reddit groom. But enough from me—read the story for yourself.

The Set-Up

Reddit’s AITA (Am I The Asshole) forum proves, once again, that it’s the gift that keeps on giving. Today’s story is written by a groomzilla who insists he be wearing the most comfy clothes on his f*cking wedding day. Never mind that this is supposed to be a once-in-a-lifetime event (or maybe not, given his attitude so far), that his bride-to-be seems to have some goddamn standards, or that you can’t put a price on class. He writes:

“Groom here. My fiancee and I are getting married in about a year. She’s already started shopping for her wedding dress and asked me to start taking a look at suits. Honestly, though, I’m really not much of a suit and tie kind of guy, and I dress extremely casually in my day-to-day life. Obviously, I’m going to make a point to look sharper than usual for the wedding. I’m planning to wear my favorite pair of jeans with a blazer and a decent button-up shirt, which should be comfortable while still looking nice.”

Awwww you poor thing! You aren’t much of a suit guy, huh? You, uh, can’t make an exception on your wedding day? Life sounds rough, bro! I wish we had a picture of this guy so I can settle in my mind whether he’s a douchey hipster with a man bun, a redneck that owns a small collection of Confederate paraphernalia, or a former member of TKE who owns a Crossfit gym and works the word “bro” into 90% of conversations.

Oh wait—he’s got a solution! He’s going to make A POINT to “look sharper than usual”! What a gem this guy is! And how, pray tell, does he plan to up his usual, I assume, Walmart sweatsuit look for the day he weds the love of his life? With his “favorite pair of jeans with a blazer and a decent button-up shirt”! Wow! Omg! This girl is LUCKY! I wonder how many PlentyofFish.com dates she went on before she met him? What a solid 10. I would give my left tit to shake his hand.

Fight Me

Mr. Personality goes on with his sob story about how he should get to wear whatever he wants without people judging him. It’s like women fighting for the right to wear cute sh*t without being cat-called, basically. I can smell his incredible activist spirit. This guy’s a true pioneer for men’s rights.

“My fiancee got really upset when I said I wasn’t going to wear a suit. She thinks jeans are way too casual for a wedding and says I’m going to look ridiculous and underdressed. But I don’t think that’s true. It’s not like I’m showing up in overalls and no shirt or something dumb like that, and I was a groomsman in a wedding just last year where all the guys wore jeans and suspenders.

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

Welcome back to another Crazy Wedding Story of the week. This one is especially crazy and convoluted. It has everything: a ridiculously demanding bride, angry family members threatening to sue, and a twist you definitely won’t see coming. You’re so welcome that I’ve brought you this juicy incident to brighten your Wednesday. I know, I know—I deserve a f*cking medal. Or, in lieu of a medal, I will also accept $30,000 in donations—you’ll see why in a sec. I can’t really give an introduction to this story without giving too much of it away, so let’s just cut right to the chase.

The Set-Up

Today’s crazy wedding story comes to us via the Choosing Beggars subreddit, which proves in and of itself to be gold. The premise of the subreddit is exposing choosy beggars, i.e., people who expect ridiculous freebies for no good reason. Highly recommend for your procrastinating-at-work pleasure. So when someone posted screenshots to r/choosingbeggars of a Facebook post in which a bride reveals she’s canceling her wedding after receiving a whopping $30,000 in donations, the post quickly went viral on the subreddit. Just in case we have some dirty deleting on our hands, here’s the screenshot of what went down:

HOLY SH*T. First of all, it’s nuts that this couple managed to raise $30,000 BEFORE the wedding. But that’s obviously not the real issue here. How in the actual sh*t does someone think it’s okay to collect tens of thousands of dollars from their friends and family, then pull a bait-and-switch? Then ask for MORE money and gifts?? The audacity of these people. I would be mildly impressed if I didn’t want to slap the sh*t out of them.

The thing with donating money to a cause is that you typically expect the money you give will, in fact, go to that cause. Sooooo flip-flopping and saying that you suddenly need to use that money for a lavish honeymoon BEFORE you’re even married (which, let’s be real, is simply a vacation) and to get yourselves financially stable, makes actually zero sense.

Here’s a hot tip: if you’re not financially stable, you probs shouldn’t be taking a $30k honeymoon. I’m no business insider, but that seems like pretty legit advice, right?

Also, you know that “rescheduled wedding” ain’t happenin’ and this is just a blatant cash grab. If I knew this person, not only would they not get another gift from me for their honeymoon, but they would never see another cent from me as long as we both shall live.

The Backlash

NATURALLY, every family member, guest, and wedding party member rightly freaked the f*ck out. The screenshots for you, my loves:

There’s so much more than even these, but can I get a rich uncle who just gives me like $12k? That’d be tight. Also, can we not with the one bridesmaid that’s like “I gave you $200 and I love you—I’m such a good friend”? Alright, Gretchen Wieners, take it easy.

The Plot Thickens

If the initial post and comments seemed a little wild even for the average psycho wedding story, you aren’t alone in being all, “hmmm.”

The detectives at Buzzfeed did some sleuthing and it looks as though this entire incident could have been a marketing ploy by some bullsh*t company. I mean, good job, marketing assholes. The post went up on Reddit on Monday and quickly was shared, like, everywhere because of how purely insane it is.

More screenshots of the family responses popped up on Monday night, but only via some f*cking website we’ve never heard of called CapturedIt.club, which seems a little weird. When it did go up, literally NOTHING ELSE was on the website. Sketch.

Any additional “comments” from family members had the Captured It Club watermark, which, like, again, seems a bit odd. If these are real screenshots, why are they watermarked with some rando website’s name? Damn, how did none of us pick up on this? I feel like a fool. Even more questionable, none of the Facebook posts had any reactions, which is pretty weird. You would think something of this caliber would be a sea of angry face emojis, wow faces, and dislike buttons. The nail in the coffin, though, is that GoFundMe has no record of a bride named Pam and her supposed fiancé, Edward. And despite mentioning an Amazon registry in her original post, no such Amazon registry for a Pam and Edward exists.

And, after Buzzfeed published their article exposing the fact that this whole story may have been a PR stunt, capturedit.club took everything down off their website and replaced it with this screenshot:

So… it looks like we’ve all been hustled, scammed, bamboozled, led astray. But now I have more questions than answers. Who/what is Ben Hobbs? What the f*ck is the point of this capturedit.club website in the first place? Why were we all so eager to believe that someone would scam their friends and family out of $30,000?

I guess I’ve got to hand it to the people behind this weird-ass website for fooling us all. But, honestly, I’m kind of sad this isn’t real. What does that say about me? Perhaps I’ll grapple with these existential dilemmas in next week’s crazy wedding story.

Images: Vitaliy Karimov / Shutterstock.com; Choosing Beggars / Reddit (6)

Another day, another wacky wedding story thanks to the people who post their problems on Reddit for me to read and laugh at while I’m supposed to be working. I don’t know about you, but nothing truly gives me life quite like stupid wedding etiquette questions that seem pretty cut and dry to those of us who have, like, common sense. Today’s wedding story, though, is a little less black-and-white than our usual “Am I a bridezilla for telling my Maid of Honor to terminate her pregnancy so she does not appear pregnant in my wedding photos?” type stories. Let’s just get right into it, with a problem I’m dubbing “Mo’ Titties Mo’ Problems.” You’ll see why in a sec. Here’s the dilemma she posted on the Am I The Asshole subreddit, or r/amitheasshole. It involves a bra, a blue dress, some really stupid questions, and some fun word play. Let’s go.

The Setup

So, our OP posted this f*cking novel to the AITA subreddit, and has been officially voted an asshole. For the uninitiated, Am I The Asshole (or AITA as it’s lovingly called) is pretty self-explanatory. People write in about various scenarios that have happened to them, and the good people of Reddit decide who was the asshole in that situation. So, strap in and get ready to judge strangers—our favorite pastime!

Here’s the rundown from the OP herself. Please note, all spelling and (atrocious) grammar has been left as-is:

“My boyfriend’s (M27) brother is getting married. I (F22) often don’t wear bras (free the titty). I wear them to work, in a (business) professional setting, but if I’m going out with friends and family I don’t wear them. My boobs aren’t huge enough to where the flop everywhere, but I’m not flat chested either. My boyfriend has informed me that his brother’s fiancé has requested I wear a bra at the wedding, quoting ‘I don’t want no free range titties.’ Their family really looks down on it and thinks I’m a hippie heathen that has abandoned God and is motor-boating Satan.

I respect that 100%, it’s her day. However I’m trying to match my boyfriend’s attire, which is blue. I even dyed my hair to his color as well. The dress (blue) that best fits for the wedding (I have no time or money to buy a new one) is not designed to have a bra. I have a few other dresses, but they’re white (big no). I have a black dress as well but I wore that to their grandma’s funeral (so also no). I have other dresses/gowns but they’re very fancy and I don’t want to out dress the bride.”

First off, this has got to be a troll post, but for my own amusement, I’ll pretend this is real. People do tend to do crazy things, so I guess this story could be true—but just know that I’m proceeding with caution, so don’t @ me in the comments that this post is “obviously fake”. Now that we’ve covered that aspect, there are a couple of things to unpack here—like how the bride is so morally offended by the existence of breasts but has no objections to this girl dying her hair blue to match her boyfriend’s outfit. Seems like a weird hill to die on (or dye on, lol) but ok.

But let’s talk about the problem at hand. Or, more accurately, the problem at chest. (Okay, you’re right, I’ll stop now.) On the one hand, I have a feeling that if this bride is specifically requesting OP wear a bra, her situation is more noticeable than she makes it seem. However, let’s please give this girl a Pulitzer for the phrase “motor-boating Satan.” I don’t know what exactly it is or why it works, but it speaks to my soul and has sparked joy.

On the other hand, does anybody else find it a little ridiculous that the bride went out of her way to ask one guest to wear a bra? “Free range titties” or no, it’s a weird thing to do. Like, I would think she would be too preoccupied with, ya know, getting married, picking out flowers, avoiding her future mother-in-law, etc. to care about one guest’s body. Also, I struggle to see how this is THAT big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. Maybe, as the groom’s brother’s girlfriend, she’ll be in some pictures, but the OP isn’t a bridesmaid, so it’s not like she’s going to be in every single shot.

The Solutions

The OP then goes on to explain why she reallyyyy just cannot wear a bra, no matter how much she may want to.

“I’ve put on the bra with the dress, but it’s terrible and more offensive. You can see the straps and side of the bra, and a tube is still visible too. Even a cardigan can’t cover it fully. It’s not a provocative dress either, it wraps around the neck and shows some side boob but everything else is covered. No shoulder, hence seeing the straps of the bra. I have a bra with fancy straps and I’m thinking about just going French style (France sees bra straps as an accessory, compared to america’s ‘hey your strap is showing’).

Would I be an a*shole if I just taped my nipples and wore the dress? Or should I wear the most off white dress I own? I honestly don’t mind wearing a bra for the wedding, but the dress I would most like to wear isn’t made for a bra.

While I thought it wasn’t her place to say what I can and can’t wear, it is her WEDDING. Soooo… what do I wear?”

Honey, this is 2019. You have options outside of “wear a bra that will completely be visible” or “expose your free-range titties even though the bride specifically requested you not do that.” The Reddit community seems to think OP is the asshole in this situation, since her ultimatum has become “I’ll wear no bra with this dress I like” or “I’ll wear this white/off-white dress with a bra and piss everyone off even more.”

Also an important question: Has the OP ever heard of chicken cutlets? Strapless bras? Like, there are alternatives here.

The Verdict

The OP has since commented on the post and said she WAS thinking about wearing the sticky boob cutlets, but hadn’t considered them a “bra.” In this case, I think they would count. I feel like the bride is really just asking the OP to get a little support.

Reddit thought the OP was the asshole, with the top comment from u/kaitou1011 saying, “YTA because you’ve created a dichotomy of ‘I wear this dress or something much worse’ and ‘I wear this dress with a visible bra or with no bra at all.'” They continue, “You’ve picked a dress for the wedding, it seems, with the express excuse of going against the one thing they’ve asked you, and it seems pretty deliberate. You’ve got lots of other options, like buying a new dress that doesn’t have this problem (especially considering if there’s sideboob it’s probably not appropriate for a wedding of people who think not wearing a bra makes you a hippie heathen whose abandoned God and is motorboating Satan.). There are also some age-old tricks for hiding bras under revealing dresses, as well as actual products meant for that purpose like strapless bras or that one backless bra thing you can buy online for like five bucks which also gives really great cleavage too. But seriously, just go buy an appropriate dress at freaking WalMart.

I can see this point. It seems like this person wrote this entire post to Reddit just so that strangers could validate her choice, and had no intention to ever acquiesce to the bride’s request. We hate a validation post over on AITA. Reddit is a fickle beast, and the commenters do not always side with the OP.

That said, personally, I think both the OP and the bride are the assholes. The OP for the reasons laid out, and the bride for making this weird body-shaming request in the first place. It would be one thing if the bride asked nicely and acknowledged that this is a strange and low-key rude request, but she went about it pretty poorly, if OP’s account is to be believed. Also, the internet typically rules against brides who try to dictate their bridesmaids’ appearances, and I don’t see why this is any different. If you ask me, the bride is the bigger asshole for making a huge deal about something that probably won’t even matter. Sadly, we’ll never know what ended up happening, because OP has not provided an update.

Do you think the bride was the asshole, or the OP? Do you have any insane wedding stories to share? Let me know in the comments!

Images: Fahad Waseem / Unsplash

Buckle up, cause we’ve got another atrocious yet hilarious viral bridesmaid/wedding horror story for your viewing pleasure. Honestly, what did we do at work BEFORE Reddit? Like, actually work? Lame, fam – let’s revel in other people’s drama.

Because at our core we’re really all just messy b*tches, this story about a bridesmaid who’s been pushed too far is giving us life. Fox News, Trump rag extraordinaire, carried the story last week, and after digging around on the internet i.e. clicking the links that the good people at Fox provided (um, you’re welcome), I’ve got the full insane picture of this absolute nightmare scenario.

Crappy Massages And Prostitutes

This whole story starts out as an “Am I The Asshole” thread, led by a soon-to-be bridesmaid in an upcoming May 11 (this f*cking weekend) wedding. Basically, said chica is being asked to walk arm-in-arm down the aisle during her best friend’s wedding with her now ex-fiancé. Normally, this would be a typical, “hey, suck it up” scenario. However, what the ex-fiancé is accused of doing is laughably sh*tty:

“Jump into the worst week of my life. I was with my ex fiancé for 6 years. Loved him with every fiber of my being, wedding planned for August. Refused a job offer so could move with him for his next Air Force assignment. Monday a call girl from a website called massage republic texts him in the middle of the night saying she’s reaching out to old clients because she’s back in the game (his phone was at my house while he was flying) I text back she must have wrong number. She says she doesn’t. In a moment of brains I pretend to be him instead of the jealous girlfriend and call girl gives me all the details. I’m such a fool this had been happening under my nose for years.”

So, first off, “he was flying” leads me to believe this asshole is a pilot. RULE NUMBER, LIKE, THREE OF DATING BROS – Never marry the pilot. I’m sure there are great non-cheating pilots out there, but these guys are NOTORIOUS for bangin’ round the world.

“I’ll Make It Up To You”

“I confront him, he claims to be a sex addict and promises to change. I consider it for half a second and say no. Cue uncontrollable crying, self doubt, a battery of STD tests, awkward encounters with him, fight over the ring, his mom (who I loved) calling me non stop and begging me to reconsider and on and on.

And on top of all this my best friend is marrying his best friend may 11th. Groom doesn’t want to rock the boat at this late date and selecting a new best man. Bride says she has way too much in her plate and is begging me to just go through with it and she’ll ‘make it up to me.'”

I’m sorry, but am I the only one who thinks the bride here is kind of an asshole for making the scorned bridesmaid walk down the aisle with this mouth breather?! I would NEVER ask one of my friends to suck it up in this situation.

What To Do?

This poor girl continues to, well, spiral through her emotions via Reddit. Not only is she feeling self doubt and horror at her current fiance situation; she’s also caught wondering if she’s a bad friend for NOT WANTING TO BE WITH HER PROSTITUTE-LOVING EX.

“I’ve never hated a human being as much as I hate him. I can’t be in the same room with him let alone walk arm in arm with him. I understand the whole wedding doesn’t need to fall apart because I’m upset. so I just want to not go and spend the day downing the left over percocets from my wisdom teeth operation, fucking as many tinder dudes who can stand to be around me after not showering and burning all his shit.

Would I be the asshole if I back out of the wedding?”

May I be the first to say, “baby, what is you doin?” This bridesmaid shouldn’t be made to go through having to even TOUCH this man, let alone walk with him and pretend it’s all whatever. She’s a pretty good person, in my book, for even stating that “the whole wedding doesn’t need to fall apart because I’m upset.” If it were me, I’d probably try to highjack the entire wedding and make sure EVERYONE knew this guy was a radioactive asshole. But, I’m not a nice person, so…

Wrap It Up

After Fox News (and other fake news outlets) blew up this thread, the bridesmaid returned to answer a few questions and fill in the blanks for those of us VERY invested in this whole ordeal.