Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: Bride Demands Her Bridesmaid Dye Her Hair

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

On Saturday night, I was hustled, scammed, bamboozled, and hoodwinked into having dinner with three of my recently married friends. Annnnnnd kill me. Anyway, even though I was both a guest and a bridesmaid at all three of these girls’ weddings, they spent the first hour of dinner showing me pictures as if I didn’t spend my rent money on being a part of their nuptials. The main takeaway? Wedding Instagrams are to newlyweds what “take me back” vacation photos are to single people. So naturally, the bride and groom want their wedding to be as Insta-worthy as humanly possible. Understandable.

Unless you’re Adriana La Cerva getting married in Tony Soprano’s house, the bride usually gets to drive when it comes to every little detail of her wedding. But sometimes, brides attempt to take that too far. This leads me the most amazing thing I’ve ever read on the internet, the Reddit Am I The Asshole (AITA) subreddit titled “AITA for asking my bridesmaid to temporarily change her vibrant hair colour for my colour schemed wedding?” Ok, I’ll give her a point for being British, but will definitely crown her the asshole here because it’s 2020 and friends shouldn’t ever ask friends to change their appearance for a wedding. 

But I know what you’re thinking: maybe this girl has like, bright blue hair, which I could kiiiinda understand the bride wanting to change even though the demand is unreasonable. And you’d be wrong. Even I didn’t see this twist coming.

The bride starts off strong:

“The ongoing issue is that my wedding has a blue and green peacock theme” (why) “and guests have been asked to follow this colour scheme with their clothes. Hair wasn’t originally included at all in the colour scheme, but my cousin Ella has natural bright ginger hair.

I would never ask someone to permanently change their hair for my wedding, I know that would be bonkers so I suggested some temporary hair dye, but Ella argued that she has been growing her hair for six years and doesn’t want to risk the colour not washing out. I thought this was ridiculous because it literally says washes out in like 14 washes. But Ella says because her hair is completely natural colour it might take strongly to her hair.”

First of all, wtf is a blue and green peacock theme? Why peacocks? Will there be peacocks at the wedding? Where does one procure peacocks? I need more info on the peacock situation. Condolences to Ella, though, on her lack of a soul, but as my beautiful redhead girlfriend complains about all the time tells me, once a ginger dyes her hair, it’s really hard to get her natural color back. Anyone who’s friends with a red-headed person knows this because it’s literally all they talk about, so the fact that the bride is asking her bridesmaid/cousin who’s never taken a foil to the head to dye her hair for the sake of fitting in with the weird af wedding theme is pretty rude. Honestly, Ella shouldn’t have to explain why she doesn’t want to f*ck up her hair with drugstore chemicals, but here we are. Also, 14 washes? Unless you wash your hair every damn day, that could take weeks to get out, and the bride is acting like it’s easy-peasy.

“So I gave up on that avenue and suggested a wig, it is one day, one single day, and there are some amazing wigs these days. I had a look on Instagram and you wouldn’t even be able to tell. But she said she would feel self-conscious and weird wearing a wig and that because her hair is butt length that it might sit weird on her head. So she won’t dye it, and won’t cover it up. I really don’t want to come across as a bridezilla but butt-length flaming red hair will destroy the wedding photos, and ruin the colour scheme completely.”

I once went to a birthday dinner that was wig-themed, so I got a Kylie Jenner-looking number and truly hated it. It was so uncomfortable and stupid-looking that I couldn’t keep that thing on for more than a few minutes at a time, and my hair is only shoulder length! I can’t even imagine trying to get a wig on a head of hair that’s basically grazing the floor at this point. Tbh, I feel like the bizarre color scheme and wild peacocks will ruin the photos more than your bridesmaid’s very normal hair. Also, it’s not like she just recently dyed her hair magenta and it’s all anyone can see. Like, we’re talking about her natural hair color here. No one is going to be like, “She seriously came to this wedding with the hair color she was born with?” 

Im at a loss, I can’t cut her from the wedding because my mom would murder me, but I can’t have freaking Merida ruining the photos, AITA for asking this of her for just one single day?

First of all, Merida was a brave soldier who saved her mother, there’s no need to bring her into this. Also, is anyone else seeing the hilarious irony here? Just the English major? Cool. So the bride is saying that her cousin should just dye her hair because it’s one day of her life, but this horrible dye job will not only live forever in the photos, it will also likely ruin her natural color and take at least two weeks to rinse out. Like??? Anyway, to answer the bride’s question, yes, honey, you are the asshole. 

Before I end, there’s an update!

EDIT: Ella has dropped out of the wedding because we couldn’t reach a compromise so it doesn’t matter anymore. I now have to deal with my mom and aunt chewing me out over it all.

Honestly, good for you, Ella. F*ck your cousin. I’d drop out of the wedding too, and I probably wouldn’t even attend.

Look, the only time it’s okay to demand someone change her appearance is on makeover day for America’s Next Top Model. Other than that, we non-Tyras need to just let our friends and cousins and whoever look how they want to look. If red-heads are so offensive to you and your stupid photos, maybe don’t ask them to be in your bridal party. Then find a therapist to find out who hurt you. 

Images: Unsplash

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Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: Groom Demands Bride Buy $100 Dress

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

Mazel and welcome to another edition of crazy wedding stories, brought to you by Reddit, our ongoing source of anonymous entertainment and shaming as it relates to matrimony. Today’s story comes to us from the always enthralling Reddit Am I The Asshole (AITA) subreddit, where clueless folks post long-winded tales and ask an audience of casual Reddit readers if their actions are defensible or deplorable. AITA has brought us grooms who want to wear jeans to their wedding, kick their sister out for not allowing kids to come at the last minute, and many more tales of wedding assholery.

This week, a man explains to us why he just doesn’t understand why his fianceé can’t find a wedding dress for $50-100. Why are men like this?

WTF Happened

The thread, titled “AITA i (38 m) for telling my fiancee (f 27) her wedding dress choice is way too extravagant and suggesting alternatives?” already raises a few red flags for me, as the groom in question is 11 years older than the bride-to-be (come at me all you want, but I read a lot of relationship advice subreddits, and often times when someone acts like a controlling asshole, there’s a big age gap involved) and trying to mansplain why a wedding dress is extravagant. Ugh, you douche. That aside, let’s dive in.

The groom writes:

“We are getting married in July of this year, the venue is booked and the wedding is pretty much sorted.

Emma has been researching dresses and has a little scrap book of lots of dresses she likes for ideas but is now looking to buy.

All that’s left to get is the bridesmaid dresses and her wedding dress.

We jointly put aside 10k each for the wedding, everything is paid and we have 6k left over, which I think could go towards the honeymoon on top of the honeymoon fund we already had.

We aren’t the extravagant type at all, then comes the time for Emma to pick her dress. I know everything is more expensive when it has the term wedding attached to it. What I wasn’t expecting was a $950 dress plus $120 veil!

I’m using my dad’s old tux he used for his wedding to my mom, just had it taken in a little, Emma can’t use her mum’s dress as her and her mum both say the style hasn’t aged well, which is fair.

First off, I consider myself hashtag BLESSED to have a husband that can f*cking spell and understands proper grammar (I tried to correct the most egregious errors, but I didn’t feel like rewriting this guy’s entire post). That aside, the fact that this groom thinks $950 for a dress is expensive is laughable. I don’t recall even SEEING anything in that price range when I was wedding dress shopping, and I’m a f*cking bargain hunter. That’s great that groomzilla wants to wear his dad’s old-ass tux. I’m sure it isn’t dusty and I’m sure it doesn’t smell like 30-year-old sweat and cheap booze. Oh, and jazz snaps for acknowledging that the mother’s dress probably hasn’t aged well. So far, this is eye-roll-worthy at best, but it gets so much worse.

Yeah, It Gets So Much Worse

I had a quick google around at dresses online and there were so many! And so many just like the one Emma wants for like $50 to $100.

I’m not trying to get her to cheap out on her dress but she will literally wear it once, one dress for over $1,000 is just insane that would fund our honeymoon.

I tried to show her some dresses I found on a recommended app called Wish and but she was having none of it.

She is very slender but apparantly wants it specially fitted?

It turned nasty unfortunately because I said I refuse to drop such a large amount of money on a dress and she argued that she is using her own money for the dress.

Wich isn’t strictly true as we ate about to marry and our finances will be joined.

Then her mom had to get involved, they offered to pay for the dress but it’s not a case of not being able to afford it.

It’s a dress! there are identical ones online at a fraction of the cost.

I thought she would be ecstatic to learn there are identical dresses for a fraction of the cost but she was really angry and upset.

Hey, at least this guy knows how to Google, amirite? How commendable. Too bad he apparently doesn’t understand that you get what you pay for, and a cheap dress off some random site is probably not going to look like the picture. Additionally, for the groom to comment on his wife-to-be wanting her dress “fitted” is laughable. Has this jackass never seen Say Yes To The Dress, been to a single wedding, or ever just lived in a society? Of course the dress will be f*cking fitted! This isn’t some 8th grade dance dress she can buy off the rack at JC Penney. This is her wedding day and, short of the day she possibly has a kid or graduates with a Master’s or adopts six dogs, it’s pretty f*cking memorable and important.

The kicker, for me anyway, is that the bride is offering to use her own cash or her parent’s cash, and this guy is still clinging to his principles related to what he thinks the dress should cost. I don’t care how many “identical” dresses you found on Google that are likely created by tiny child slave hands for a fraction of the price. Let the woman get her f*cking dress. It has NOTHING to do with you and it isn’t your call, dude. I feel like the only reason this guy is so opposed to spending $1,000 of money that isn’t even his money yet, is because unlike the honeymoon, the dress doesn’t involve him and he doesn’t get to enjoy it.

Call Off That Wedding

AITA here? Is there something I am seriously missing because after we argued about the dress, Emma has been extremely cold towards me.

Then yesterday she said if I want her to cheap out on her wedding dress on her wedding day that she needs to really consider if we are a good match for marriage.

I’m blown away that she would say that over a dress, I told her she’s like a toddler throwing a tantrum over a sparkly toy she can’t have, that was a mistake as she left to stay with her parent’s, who called to tell me I am much more than an asshole.

Anddd see what I mean about the age gap thing? The only toddler throwing a tantrum here is this guy who realized he may not be able to control his fiancée without pushback for the rest of their lives. So sad for him.

Don’t worry, Reddit promptly called him the asshole. The top comment by Redditor milee30 read, “YTA. You say you don’t want her to cheap out, but then you say you want her to buy a $50 -$100 wedding dress. That’s cheap. That’s cheap even for a regular dress. Those cheap dresses you’re finding online will look terrible in person and are the source of so many disappointed women and jokes. Wedding dresses and their tailoring are expensive. $1,000 is actually a low priced dress. Regardless of dress type, though, your reaction to her—calling her names and deciding you have veto power—is the real problem. You should be solving this issue together. If you can’t, maybe it’s not time to get married yet.”

And this story gets better, because OP posted an update.

EDIT: Emma found this thread, it was a mistake to post here and I’m sorry I posted our problems on reddit, iata

Yes, buddy, you are, in fact, the asshole here—but you’re an asshole because you’re controlling and have totally unrealistic expectations, and you’re trying to bully your fiancée into fitting those unrealistic expectations… not because you posted your relationship problems on Reddit. I hope this guy ends up at the altar alone for being such an absolute d*ck.

For Emma’s sake, I hope she called off the wedding. This guy sounds like red flag city, and if he’s going to bully her into cheaping out on a sh*tty wedding dress, who knows what other kind of stunts he’ll pull in the future (why would we buy a house when we can get this $2,000 shoebox in a crappy area that barely fits our bed?). Emma, if you’re reading this, blink twice if you need help.

Images: Charisse Kenion, Unsplash; Giphy (3)

This Bride Is Getting Dragged For Forcing Her Sister Out Of Her Wedding

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

I’ll be honest with you guys, I don’t really understand weddings. I mean, like, I grasp the concept of pledging your lifetime commitment to someone in some type of ceremony and then having a party afterwards—that I get. But I have not been to many weddings, and my idea of commitment is choosing a new show to start watching on Netflix, so the whole attitude of “it’s my f*cking wedding” (said in the Stassi Schroeder birthday voice, of course) is a concept that is pretty foreign to me. I don’t know what it is about weddings in particular, but they tend to make people lose all sense of common decency. Case in point: this bride who wrote into Reddit, after basically forcing her sister out of her wedding, to ask if she was the asshole. Ya think?

Now, I may not be an expert in weddings, but I am an expert in Reddit, which makes this post all the more fun. So, usually the way posts in r/AmITheAsshole work is that the headline is something insanely outrageous to grab people’s attention and get them to upvote and read the post, and then the first line is the post is almost always “this sounds terrible, but hear me out.” And then it turns out to be something totally underwhelming. For example: “AITA For Cheating On My Girlfriend?” “Sounds terrible, but hear me out. So my girlfriend and I were playing Monopoly the other day, and…” Basically, the sub functions on clickbait. And that’s what happened here, except the reverse.

The bride in question posted: “AITA? I got mad because my sister bailed on my wedding. It’s in 2 days and she’s the Maid of Honour.”

And reading that, you’re all ready to grab your pitchforks and hunt this sister down like you’re Gaston and she’s The Beast. What kind of monster would bail on their own sister’s wedding two days before, when she’s the maid of honor, no less?

Someone who was given no other choice, as it turns out.

But let me back it up. The post begins, “We planned a child friendly wedding as my siblings both have kids. My brother has 2 girls and my sister has a son. My nephew has social anxiety disorder, has been diagnosed and is in therapy. He’s 9 and the anxiety is pretty bad, and manifests in tantrums and crying, so I planned a child friendly wedding knowing my sister had no one to leave him with.”

Okay. All good so far. Then things take a turn south for no good reason at all.

“Today my fiance came to me and said that his family, who we had planned the entire thing around, don’t want kids at the wedding. They’re all over 18, they want to drink, and ‘not have to worry about brats running around’ (his dad’s exact words) and they were threatening to not come. I felt backed into a corner and posted in the siblings group chat ‘the in laws are saying they don’t want kids there + saying they won’t come. can y’all sort something else out?'”

What the actual f*ck. There are so many issues with this, I don’t even know where to begin. The first, I guess, is the fiancé’s family who are both horrible and wrong. Like, I don’t understand adults who hate children this much. Y’all know you were once children, right? Also, you can get drunk around kids, so long as they are not your kids who are currently under your care. This is so not an issue. And finally, the biggest issue of all is the bride for choosing her fiancé’s family and their insane demands over her own family and their needs. Also! If you’re going to make your wedding child-free at the last minute, you have to provide some kind of solution for everyone who had planned on bringing their kids. You can’t just be like “Welp, you guys can figure it out!”

Unsurprisingly, the bride’s sister couldn’t just “sort something else out” at the last minute. “My sister says ‘I’ve got no one to leave with so I’m really sorry and I’ll see you when you get back from honeymoon’.”

The bride continues, “I got really mad because it’s in 2 days and my sister is now bailing on me so I reply ‘babysitter, neighbour, BF?'” How helpful. As if the sister hasn’t thought of those options yet. A babysitter! What a novel idea! “She says that he isn’t comfortable enough to be babysat by someone, he’s pissed off or weirded out the neighbours with his tantrums and anxiety, and he’s not comfortable enough with her boyfriend to leave the two of them alone, and she’s sorry she can’t make it but if I’m doing child free then she can’t go.”

So here’s where the bride goes from asshole to Satan. She says to her sister, “‘I can’t believe you’re missing my wedding because your kid is antisocial’ and she replied ‘I can’t believe you’re changing the plan last minute when you know I can’t leave him with someone.'” 

“I say ‘are you fucking kidding me? It’s not my call to get rid of the kids so IDK why your making me feel like shit for it. I’m getting married in 2 days, and if it’s between the kids and the in laws, then in laws win.’ Sister says ‘fair enough, your day, but we’ve clearly got diff. priorities’ and then went offline.”

Now the bride is saying she’s annoyed because it “isn’t her choice” to make her wedding kid-free, and she’s upset that her sister isn’t coming at her family is annoyed with her. And she had the gall to ask Reddit if she was the asshole!

The backlash was swift and merciless. Reddit user ensanguine summed it up pretty nicely: “YTA. It IS your choice. You chose to bow down to your in laws at the expense of your sister and changed the circumstance of the wedding to something she couldn’t be a part of. She was going based on being able to be with her child. Also YTA again for insulting a fucking kid for their mental illness that I can assure you, no one wants. Huge asshole move.”

User PaddyCow backed that up, adding, “Just look at the title ‘my sister bailed on my wedding’. Your sister didn’t bail on your wedding op, you bailed on your own family to please a bunch of inlaws who refer to your nieces and nephews as brats. YTA big time. I’ve a feeling the op won’t accept that though and will continue to see the sister as the unreasonable one.”

Yeah, I have a feeling that the bride and her soon-to-be-husband and his sh*tty family deserve each other, and will have a lifetime of happiness, mainly because they will never accept that they ever do anything wrong. You know what they say: willful ignorance is bliss!

Images: Mickel Alexander / Unsplash

Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: Do My Entire Wedding For Free

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

You guys know how livid I get when people suggest you do something for “exposure”. You know why? It’s never the legit companies and brands that will actually give you good exposure that pull this sh*t. They understand the value of work and talent. It’s always no-name brands that will offer to “expose” you to their 12 followers. Take it from someone who’s been there—any job worth the exposure would actually pay you. This upcoming story, though, is somehow even worse than your regular, run-of-the-mill, cheap-ass unknown brand looking for free work. Because it’s a cheap-ass unknown person who thinks YOU should pay for literally everything in her entire wedding. I know what you’re thinking, and no, she’s not even an influencer!!

The Set-Up

Today’s story comes from Reddit’s /choosingbeggars subreddit, where a total douche-monkey of a human posted the most asinine Facebook post ever. WHO is friends with this trash anyway to see this post, I ask you? It starts off like this:

Ah yes, a brutal reminder of why I hate the South. “Hi y’all!”—it’s like she’s already gearing up to pyramid scheme all of us. Why do I already want to punch this chick in the face? “I can lol I deserve it”! All I can think of is this:

Also what the f*ck is with all the typos? “Afe getribg”? Girl, with that kind of proofreading, you should be writing for BuzzFeed (ba-dum ching). All I can do with this so far is feel really badly for Mr. David. But of course we’re just getting started.

Mrs. David goes on to tell us that she got a free historic wedding venue because Mr. David’s godmother owns it. Cool, good for you, Glen Coco. She even says, “This means my wedding will be historical! Lol!” Oh yes, I’m so sure that one day children will study the dream wedding of Mrs. David in their history books. Lol.

The Entitlement

So because the estate is far away and they’re having their honeymoon in Dubai, Mrs. David reasons that she shouldn’t have to pay for a damn thing in her own wedding. Sure, sure. She already has a free venue but why should she pay for travel costs?

Or a photographer?

Or a caterer?

Or a dress?

Or music? Flowers? Seating? And BTW, it must be an orchestra, because “this will be classy”.

But don’t worry everyone! Because, and I kid you not, Mrs. David is starting AN INSTAGRAM SOON! So you will be, and again, I quote, “begging for the opportunity” to work for exposure! Because obviously, Mrs. David will be an instant Instagram hit, making millions and paying you back for feeding probably 200 people in exposure!

I honestly wish I was kidding:

I’m not actually convinced this isn’t satire.

My favorite part is how Mrs. David demands that everyone be a professional (“not a hobby but getting PAID AS A JOB”) even though she isn’t willing to pay them at all. Does she not see the irony? Let me tell you, if anyone is willing to work for free for absolutely no reason, it means they can’t charge for their work. Meaning they aren’t paid for the work. Meaning they are not a professional, which by definition means being paid for said work.

Also, here’s what I don’t understand. They can afford a honeymoon in Dubai, but didn’t plan even a minor budget for a wedding? Don’t get me wrong, I can get behind the idea—I’d much rather go to Dubai then have a wedding—but then just… don’t have the wedding? They’re not even paying for a venue, or a dress, like I don’t understand how Mrs. David thought she’d have an entire wedding for free? Paid for by whom? Like, all of these people would have to pay out of their own pockets for these services, so that Mrs. David and her seven followers will give them exposure? I cannot comprehend this at all.

The Closing

Mrs. David then wraps it up:

Yeah, I’m sure everyone is just gonna jump right on that. While I’m so grateful to the Redditor who posted this, I’m a little salty that they included no comments. Like, the comments have to be absolutely amazing, right? What do you even say to something like this? I’ve got to acknowledge that this story seems fake, like that other viral wedding story that turned out to be a marketing ploy, but it’s more fun for me to act as if it’s real. I mean, people do suck, so you really never know.

All I can say is good luck to Mrs. David and her free dream wedding, and to Mr. David, I only have three words: Witness Protection Program.

Images: Fernanda Prado / Unsplash; Reddit; Tenor

Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: When In-Laws Attack

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

For this wedding story, you need to fully understand how much goes into a wedding. It’s months, if not years, of picking the perfect venue, planning the perfect meal options, picking out each and every flower on the table. To me, this circus seems kind of like a nightmare scenario save for the open bar, but people spend thousands upon thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) for their wedding day. It’s a Big Deal, and a lot of time and money. A lot of people have had their dream weddings planned in their heads since they were children. I wasn’t really that kind of kid—instead, I would play Barbie, where she was a doctor/pilot/vet/mermaid/newspaper delivery girl (IDK why this was interesting, I think it was the matching pink bike). Whoever was my favorite at the time would also own ALL of the Barbie clothes so she could do a quick outfit change, while the reject Barbies sat naked in a pile in my closet. If anything, I was playing “serial killer” and didn’t even realize it. That aside, weddings mean a lot to people, both emotionally and financially. But let’s put ourselves in the shoes of the Redditor who posted in the Am I The Asshole forum about his wedding.

The Set-Up

Imagine planning your dream wedding. You know, the one you played out in your head as a small child, unless you were playing “serial killer” instead (hi). It’s 3 days away. You and your fiancée are super excited. She calls the venue to confirm a few things… only to find out that the entire wedding has been changed. Again, just DAYS before you’re supposed to walk down the aisle.

My girlfriend had no clue what he was talking about, and he reminded her of all the changes that had been put in recently. We had not approved any of these changes. We were able to get some of it put back the way it was but there are some things that we couldn’t change back at such short notice.

And it turns out… it was SABOTAGE!

The venue had been receiving emails from a nearly identical email address requesting these changes:

The venue forwarded us the emails asking for the changes so we could look over them. Our communication was being done via an email account we created solely for wedding stuff, and the email address which asked for the changes is the exact same address, except 2 letters are switched round.

And even worse, they were the exact same changes that the bride and groom got in huge fights with their parents about. In fact, the arguing had gotten so heated that the couple told their parents to f*ck all the way off, and that they would pay for the wedding themselves. So. I’m not a detective. But I’m pretty sure I know who made all the false changes. Luckily, our groom here is also a genius and cracked the case.

Right now the stuff that we wanted that is still in this wedding is my suit, the venue and the DJ. My girlfriend has gone to pick up her dress and she’s not heard from the shop so we’re assuming that hasn’t changed. I’m calling round everyone and it looks like the menu has been changed, as has the guest list and the cake. We paid for the wedding we’d planned and it looks like any additional costs from the changes (such as the extra people) were paid for by someone else, but they wouldn’t give me any of the card info for legal reasons.

We probably won’t be speaking to our parents again after this, unless one of them owns up in which case we’ll just stop speaking to that one, but this feels like a joint effort as it’s dealt with both sets of parent’s complaints.

This just really sucks, especially because they paid for their own wedding just to have it completely ruined. Also, could you imagine your guest list being altered like this? Some of your friends no longer being invited? Look, I have crazy parents but this is just so low. Did the parents think they somehow wouldn’t notice when they showed up to their wedding and everything was wrong?

The Problem

At this point—rightfully so, IMO—the couple is over it and want to elope and cancel the wedding. It’s not even their wedding at this point. Who could blame them? But there’s just a little, small issue:

However, we now have around 200 people attending this wedding in 3 days (our original guest list was about 100 including families and plus ones). People have booked hotels, planes, trains, and are coming from other countries to be here. None of these people have done anything to us and would be getting caught in the crossfire if we were to elope instead.

Unfortunately, all their family and friends already have this wedding trip planned and have no idea what’s happened. It’s also in three days. So this leads to the OP’s question: Are they the assholes if the cancel their sham of a wedding and elope?

Personally, I would still have the event, but cancel the ceremony part if it’s not what I want. Like, just do the reception and have the big party celebrating the marriage with my guest list (and the parents would not be on it). I would rip the venue a new asshole because, HI, you have a contract, and if they’re too dumb to double-check changes and read an email address, that is on them. I get that it’s a very strange situation, but at the end of the day, it’s the venue’s job to make sure everything is correct. I would get everything wrong completely refunded and I’d want some sh*t for free, too. Then I’d elope or do a small wedding ceremony my way and probably put a hit out on the parents.

Literally me in this scenario:

The Verdict

Most of Reddit seems to agree: our OP is NOT the asshole, the horrible parents are. But given that all their friends and non-insane family took the trouble to fly out, most of the opinions were similar to mine: salvage what you can of the wedding. but go through with at least the reception part. No reason to throw away all that money (and open bar!) when it’s already paid for and you probably can’t get the deposits all back. A few commenters even suggested getting bouncers for the parents—that is absolutely genius. I still would strongly consider suing the venue/the parents for money lost/paid for a wedding that wasn’t what they wanted, so they can have a proper redo or at least go on an awesome trip to make up for it.

Well, the OP thankfully updated, so here’s what went down:

FINAL UPDATE:

We had a small private thing where we signed the certificate with our closest friends, then we went to the planned ceremony and had a short service where we exchanged rings, followed by a reception.

We told the parents that they were not invited, told the venue they weren’t invited, the venue put what was essentially a bouncer at the door, and they still got in. They don’t seem to understand what they did wrong as they boasted to their guests that “they planned this, but we changed it to what you’re currently seeing” and their own guests ended up being the ones to tell them how fucked up that was. They were pretty much shamed by their guests into leaving about an hour after they arrived. Also, half their guests didn’t show, it was probably about 60-70% our guests in the end, and we definitely had the majority. Food (including cake) was sorted out but not decor, and venue are refunding us 50%, which was going to be 30%, but then they let the parents in.

We only spoke to them once to tell them that because after completely f*cking up our wedding plans they then couldn’t honour one simple request to not come, they would not be hearing from us, potentially ever again, and if they contacted us that would change to definitely never hearing from us again.

We are currently in the cab on our way to get drinks with the same friends who were at the signing earlier and then off on our honeymoon.

Okay, remember my suing the venue idea? They screwed up a binding contract and still let the demon parents in? The venue should have refunded everything at this point. They really, really suck at their jobs. I hope the OP and his new wife at least got to enjoy parts of their wedding, because this whole situation was majorly f*cked up. What would do if this happened to you? Obviously the parents are at fault, but would you also blame the venue? I mean, are you telling me any crazy person could makeup an email address and screw up anyone else’s wedding and no one will verify? If so, I may need to incorporate this into some kind of revenge scheme at some point. Do you think the OP did the right thing? Would you ever speak to your parents again? LMK.

Images: Scott Broome / Unsplash; Giphy (3)

Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: Groomzilla Won’t Dress Up For His Own Wedding

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

Once again, we prove two things thanks to internet stories. First, weddings make everyone lose all sense of proper decorum (if they ever had it to begin with, I guess, is up for debate). That’s why we continue to post these week after week. Second, which is not relevant to all crazy wedding stories, but certainly this one: The bar for men is literally buried roughly six to 20 feet below ground. It’s stories like these that make me thankful I’m married to a guy who is willing to make compromises and sacrifices, which is more than the groom in this Reddit story is willing to do. But, wait, isn’t that the whole point of marriage? That and the tax breaks. My husband also wore a suit to our wedding, which again, seems like the baseline standard, but is apparently too much for this Reddit groom. But enough from me—read the story for yourself.

The Set-Up

Reddit’s AITA (Am I The Asshole) forum proves, once again, that it’s the gift that keeps on giving. Today’s story is written by a groomzilla who insists he be wearing the most comfy clothes on his f*cking wedding day. Never mind that this is supposed to be a once-in-a-lifetime event (or maybe not, given his attitude so far), that his bride-to-be seems to have some goddamn standards, or that you can’t put a price on class. He writes:

“Groom here. My fiancee and I are getting married in about a year. She’s already started shopping for her wedding dress and asked me to start taking a look at suits. Honestly, though, I’m really not much of a suit and tie kind of guy, and I dress extremely casually in my day-to-day life. Obviously, I’m going to make a point to look sharper than usual for the wedding. I’m planning to wear my favorite pair of jeans with a blazer and a decent button-up shirt, which should be comfortable while still looking nice.”

Awwww you poor thing! You aren’t much of a suit guy, huh? You, uh, can’t make an exception on your wedding day? Life sounds rough, bro! I wish we had a picture of this guy so I can settle in my mind whether he’s a douchey hipster with a man bun, a redneck that owns a small collection of Confederate paraphernalia, or a former member of TKE who owns a Crossfit gym and works the word “bro” into 90% of conversations.

Oh wait—he’s got a solution! He’s going to make A POINT to “look sharper than usual”! What a gem this guy is! And how, pray tell, does he plan to up his usual, I assume, Walmart sweatsuit look for the day he weds the love of his life? With his “favorite pair of jeans with a blazer and a decent button-up shirt”! Wow! Omg! This girl is LUCKY! I wonder how many PlentyofFish.com dates she went on before she met him? What a solid 10. I would give my left tit to shake his hand.

Fight Me

Mr. Personality goes on with his sob story about how he should get to wear whatever he wants without people judging him. It’s like women fighting for the right to wear cute sh*t without being cat-called, basically. I can smell his incredible activist spirit. This guy’s a true pioneer for men’s rights.

“My fiancee got really upset when I said I wasn’t going to wear a suit. She thinks jeans are way too casual for a wedding and says I’m going to look ridiculous and underdressed. But I don’t think that’s true. It’s not like I’m showing up in overalls and no shirt or something dumb like that, and I was a groomsman in a wedding just last year where all the guys wore jeans and suspenders.

I would never in a million years tell my fiancee what to wear to our wedding, because that would be insanely controlling, so I don’t think she should get a say in what I wear. AITA?

Edit: The wedding is in the woods at a forest preserve, if that makes a difference.”

There’s a lot to f*cking unpack here. Let’s go backwards: the wedding is in a forest preserve, as if that makes a difference. I’m pretty sure you should still wear something a bit more upscale than jeans to your WEDDING. Additionally, did you really bring in the whole “it’s controlling for my fiancee to tell me what to wear” argument? This is not the same thing as you telling her she can’t wear a low-cut top to go out with her friends because you don’t want guys checking out her cleavage. Plus, how f*cking stupid are you going to look standing next to a woman in a $2k dress while you’re in your “favorite” jeans?

My favorite argument point though, by far, is the “it’s not like I’m showing up in overalls and no shirt.” I’m sorry, but what? Neither jeans and a “decent button-up” nor “overalls and no shirt” are acceptable attire for a wedding. This brings me back to my “what kind of guy is he” question and, I think, clearly, the answer is option B, a redneck with Confederate paraphernalia. It’s the only way I can explain being a part of a wedding where gentlemen would ever consider wearing overalls on purpose.

Is He The Asshole?

Reddit and I have spoken and, yes, this guy is a f*cking asshole. Go ahead and @ me in the comments about men’s rights. There’s absolutely no reason this f*cker can’t dress up and throw his fiancée a bone for one day. Congratulations on your now-permanent position in every Facebook wedding shaming group of all time, Groomzilla. You’re arguing about wearing an outfit not acceptable to a job interview to your effing wedding. Give me a break.

My favorite comment, by far, on this thread comes from someone with the unfortunate handle of DefetiveCuckachoo:

There are two of you in this relationship. That means you need to learn to work together on common goals, and lift each other up, if you want to jealously assert freedoms and rights and boundaries then you aren’t partners, you are hostile neighbours at best.

Your fiance has normal expectations for your wedding day, and you are basically putting your feet up, rolling a blunt, blowing a cloud of smoke in her face, laughing about it and saying “IDGAF babe!” YTA.

PREAAAAAAAAACH. My only comment is that, hey, don’t bring the jazz cabbage into this.

Images: Waldemar Brandt, Unsplash; Giphy (3)

Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: Bride Scams Friends & Family Out Of $30K In Wedding Donations

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

Welcome back to another Crazy Wedding Story of the week. This one is especially crazy and convoluted. It has everything: a ridiculously demanding bride, angry family members threatening to sue, and a twist you definitely won’t see coming. You’re so welcome that I’ve brought you this juicy incident to brighten your Wednesday. I know, I know—I deserve a f*cking medal. Or, in lieu of a medal, I will also accept $30,000 in donations—you’ll see why in a sec. I can’t really give an introduction to this story without giving too much of it away, so let’s just cut right to the chase.

The Set-Up

Today’s crazy wedding story comes to us via the Choosing Beggars subreddit, which proves in and of itself to be gold. The premise of the subreddit is exposing choosy beggars, i.e., people who expect ridiculous freebies for no good reason. Highly recommend for your procrastinating-at-work pleasure. So when someone posted screenshots to r/choosingbeggars of a Facebook post in which a bride reveals she’s canceling her wedding after receiving a whopping $30,000 in donations, the post quickly went viral on the subreddit. Just in case we have some dirty deleting on our hands, here’s the screenshot of what went down:

HOLY SH*T. First of all, it’s nuts that this couple managed to raise $30,000 BEFORE the wedding. But that’s obviously not the real issue here. How in the actual sh*t does someone think it’s okay to collect tens of thousands of dollars from their friends and family, then pull a bait-and-switch? Then ask for MORE money and gifts?? The audacity of these people. I would be mildly impressed if I didn’t want to slap the sh*t out of them.

The thing with donating money to a cause is that you typically expect the money you give will, in fact, go to that cause. Sooooo flip-flopping and saying that you suddenly need to use that money for a lavish honeymoon BEFORE you’re even married (which, let’s be real, is simply a vacation) and to get yourselves financially stable, makes actually zero sense.

Here’s a hot tip: if you’re not financially stable, you probs shouldn’t be taking a $30k honeymoon. I’m no business insider, but that seems like pretty legit advice, right?

Also, you know that “rescheduled wedding” ain’t happenin’ and this is just a blatant cash grab. If I knew this person, not only would they not get another gift from me for their honeymoon, but they would never see another cent from me as long as we both shall live.

The Backlash

NATURALLY, every family member, guest, and wedding party member rightly freaked the f*ck out. The screenshots for you, my loves:

There’s so much more than even these, but can I get a rich uncle who just gives me like $12k? That’d be tight. Also, can we not with the one bridesmaid that’s like “I gave you $200 and I love you—I’m such a good friend”? Alright, Gretchen Wieners, take it easy.

The Plot Thickens

If the initial post and comments seemed a little wild even for the average psycho wedding story, you aren’t alone in being all, “hmmm.”

The detectives at Buzzfeed did some sleuthing and it looks as though this entire incident could have been a marketing ploy by some bullsh*t company. I mean, good job, marketing assholes. The post went up on Reddit on Monday and quickly was shared, like, everywhere because of how purely insane it is.

More screenshots of the family responses popped up on Monday night, but only via some f*cking website we’ve never heard of called CapturedIt.club, which seems a little weird. When it did go up, literally NOTHING ELSE was on the website. Sketch.

Any additional “comments” from family members had the Captured It Club watermark, which, like, again, seems a bit odd. If these are real screenshots, why are they watermarked with some rando website’s name? Damn, how did none of us pick up on this? I feel like a fool. Even more questionable, none of the Facebook posts had any reactions, which is pretty weird. You would think something of this caliber would be a sea of angry face emojis, wow faces, and dislike buttons. The nail in the coffin, though, is that GoFundMe has no record of a bride named Pam and her supposed fiancé, Edward. And despite mentioning an Amazon registry in her original post, no such Amazon registry for a Pam and Edward exists.

And, after Buzzfeed published their article exposing the fact that this whole story may have been a PR stunt, capturedit.club took everything down off their website and replaced it with this screenshot:

$30,000 in wedding donations

So… it looks like we’ve all been hustled, scammed, bamboozled, led astray. But now I have more questions than answers. Who/what is Ben Hobbs? What the f*ck is the point of this capturedit.club website in the first place? Why were we all so eager to believe that someone would scam their friends and family out of $30,000?

I guess I’ve got to hand it to the people behind this weird-ass website for fooling us all. But, honestly, I’m kind of sad this isn’t real. What does that say about me? Perhaps I’ll grapple with these existential dilemmas in next week’s crazy wedding story.

Images: Vitaliy Karimov / Shutterstock.com; Choosing Beggars / Reddit (6)

Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: A Cash Bar Gone Wrong

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

There are few things I live for in this world, but one of my top reasons to continue on comes in the form of insane wedding stories. I just can’t get enough of them. I love judging people and using their outrageous demands as a way to self-soothe for the fact that I will likely never have a wedding of my own if I continue on at the rate I’m going, sue me!

In any case, I found this story when I was doing my nightly (okay, hourly) browse of the Am I The Asshole? subreddit, aka r/amitheasshole. Our inaugural Crazy Wedding Story of the Week comes from a bride who wants a cash bar… but it’s of course not that simple. If it were, I wouldn’t be here, poised and ready to drag her.

Reddit user cashbarwedding writes, “Ok so me (f25) and my fiance (m24) are getting married next year and like many people our age we are pretty grossed out by the wedding industry and are trying to keep our wedding as cheap as possible. 
So for example we are having the ceremony and reception at my uncle’s farm (free of charge) out in the country, my good friend from college who owns a catering business agreed to do our catering for free as a wedding gift, and my fiancé’s good friends with a band that will play at our wedding for free also as a wedding gift. We got my dress and his suit from Goodwill and got them altered. Everything said and done we will be paying less than $2k for our wedding.”

Okay, look, there’s no shame in being thrifty for your wedding. However, as commenters were quick to point out, free catering for 150 people is a huge ask—many added that this could easily come to $6,000 with food and labor costs. But, whatever, maybe that friend is really generous.

But hold onto your wallets, because it gets worse.

“Now we get to the alcohol. We’re having a semi-big wedding (150 people – we have a ton of friends and family coming from all over) and the idea of paying for all of that booze is making us stressed out. It’d be at least $1k. We thought about it and decided to do a cash bar. We figured we could buy the booze and pay one of my cousins to be bartender for the night, and we realized we could probably recoup some of our costs on the other wedding expenses by charging moderate prices for drinks – win-win! We were set on this idea until I brought it up with one of my bridesmaids and she flipped out and said that would be incredibly tacky.”

Sometimes, an entire verdict can be decided on one turn of phrase. In this case, it all comes down to this statement: “we could probably recoup some of our costs on the other wedding expenses.” I can’t believe I even have to say this, but it is incredibly tacky to use your guests to turn a profit on your wedding! Reddit user bisexualsquirrel agreed with me, commenting, “YTA. It would be a different thing if you were to just sell the drinks at the price you bought them for and break even(Which is still a little tacky). But instead, you are charging your friends and family more than the drink is worth in order to make a profit.” How does OP think their guests will feel once they realize the couple was basically using them to fund their wedding?

Also, as other Redditors pointed out, there are plenty of options that don’t require you to drop half your wedding budget on booze while also not making your guests foot the bill for it. One, obviously, you could have a BYOB wedding, which I’m sure people would be way happier with. Personally, I would way rather bring my own $7 bottle of wine than have to pay $6 per glass. Or, as FrasierCraneDayOff said, you could get, “2 kegs, sodas, a few mixers, and you can probably get 100+ people pretty drunk for like $500-700.” They further explained, “Cash bars are only appropriate at a venue that requires them. Dude is probably going to get enough cash gifts to cover the bar costs anyways. I mean, what are you going to do, charge people $0.50/cup for a keg? Super tacky after they brought you a $50 gift.” Yeah, there are definitely other options here.

OP closed with the following admission: “I was sort of taken aback by this. I’ve looked online and cash bars at weddings are pretty common. it seems ridiculous to pay to get everyone drunk. My other friends and family seem pretty split and I’m starting to wonder if this is actually a faux pas. Am I the asshole?”

Yes, cash bars are pretty common, but typically that happens at venues where you are paying for a drink package—not your uncle’s barn where you can do whatever you want. And, while I’m all for doing a wedding on a budget, it seems kind of crazy to have a 150-person wedding if you simply cannot afford it. There are other ways to offset wedding costs than having your guests indirectly fund it, like downsizing your guest list, or again, making it BYOB. This couple is already being just about as frugal as they can be on this wedding, but this cash bar that’s meant to “recoup some of our other costs” is just a step too far. I guess it would be one thing to break even with the price of the drinks, and I couldn’t be too mad at that. But really, the funniest thing I think is that OP thinks this solution is a win-win. A win-win for whom? She and her husband win, but how do the guests win in this scenario? I don’t think OP is aware that “win-win” is supposed to refer to a mutually beneficial situation, not one in which you benefit off of others’ contributions and they get little in return. In any case, if they are going to make money off their wedding guests, then I really hope they are adamantly turning away any gifts they may receive.

Got a crazy wedding story you want featured on Betches? Email [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story.

Images: Micheile Henderson / Unsplash