Last-Minute 4th Of July Outfits That Aren’t Tacky

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Remember back in grade school when you would get all dressed up in your once-a-year patriotic attire for the 4th of July? You’d grab your signature Old Navy T-shirt (depicting something like a golden retriever holding an American flag in its mouth), pair it with Soffe shorts in one of three colors, and finish off the look with a festive temporary tattoo? Ah simpler times, but nowadays you’re an adult with a 401(k) and that iconic outfit from your youth just ain’t gonna cut it for this 4th of July holiday. So what does an “adult” wear on the 4th of July, then? You don’t want to look cheesy dressed in something you can only wear that one day a year, but you still want to look somewhat on theme. Well, before you run back to your local Old Navy with your head hanging in defeat, consider one of these cute outfit alternatives, all of which are available for express shipping in case you’re lucky enough to be headed out for your holiday weekend ASAP.

Summery White Dress

There’s nothing better than being able to just throw on a sundress in the summer and look instantly cute and put-together. A white sundress is very all-American, girl-next-door, and this one in particular is available on Amazon for Prime shipping, so you can be sure to have it on your doorstep ASAP.

Denim Mini Dress

Buy $208
price as of time of posting

Nothing is more quintessentially American than some blue jeans, so why not take this classic to the next level this 4th of July with a cute denim mini dress? You can dress it up or dress it down by pairing the dress with either sneakers or summer sandals. This denim mini is from Revolve, who offers free two-day express shipping, so you can get it in time for your #ooo message to go up.

Sparkle Top

If you’re here to make a statement this 4th, an easy but eye-catching outfit idea is to wear a trendy sparkle top. Not only is it holiday festive, it also makes for a great Insta opp later in the evening with a sparkler in hand and fireworks in the background. Mind you, not all sparkle tops are created equal, but I can attest to the fact that this one in particular is high-quality, so it will actually last you through your night of drinking (unlike some of the others out there). White Fox offers $10 express shipping.

Festive Denim

These cheeky Free People flares have a not-so-subtle star butt detail, the perfect accent for your 4th of July look. The star works with the theme without being so over-the-top America that you would feel weird rewearing them. Plus, through Wednesday (7/29) at 1pm EST, Free People is offering free express shipping to ensure you have these statement-making jeans in time for your festivities.

Red Gingham Crop Top

Buy $198
price as of time of posting

This top is actually a swim top, which allows your to transition from beach to BBQ without having to put on a bra. Just throw on a cute white skater skirt or go full USA with some overalls overtop, and you’ll look super cute for the rest of the night. Even better, this popular swim brand, Montce, is currently offering free express shipping right now through June 28th. 

Simple Jumpsuit

Buy $289
price as of time of posting

If you’re going to a more elevated 4th of July party where the aforementioned denim overalls just won’t cut it, opt for an elevated jumpsuit in a basic patriotic color, like this one in white, for an easy and holiday-appropriate outfit. I’m obsessed with this jumpsuit from Revolve which is chic, timeless, and totally summery with the strapless bodice and slit leg detail. 

Matching Set

Easy and chic, another go-to summer option for your 4th of July outfit is a summery two-piece set. This one in red pinstripe is just patriotic enough to look like you actually put effort into your outfit without looking so holiday-specific that you would feel weird rewearing it later on in the summer. It’s from Amazon and available for Prime shipping.

Image: Alexey Kuzma /Stocksy.com

These Red, White, And Blue Jell-O Shots Will Impress Everyone At Your July 4th Party

I know the drill. You’ve got a bunch of 4th of July BBQs to attend, and you want to bring something that will really wow people because you want to distract everyone from your lack of a summer body/want to impress Brad/I don’t really care why tbh. Well, I’ve got something that will be sure to impress (and get you wasted): red, white, and blue Jell-O shots. It’s what our founding fathers would have wanted.

Brace yourselves: this post is long. Mostly because I don’t have faith in anybody to not fuck this up.

Ingredients

 

*clear Jell-O is hard to find but I promise it exists.

Finding all this shit may be hard, but the good news is making Jell-O is so easy, even a caveman you can do it. I’m prefacing this by saying that these aren’t regular Jell-O shots; they’re good Jell-O shots. I know this because I am honestly kind of famous for these things. I’m sort of an urban legend. But anyway, I can’t believe I’m about to do this, but I’ll tell you my secret.

So when you make regular, non-alcoholic Jell-O, you mix 1 cup of hot water with 1 cup of cold water and then the mix. Easy. Now, most idiots making Jell-O shots just sub out the cold water for their liquor of choice and call it a day. WRONG. That is how your Jell-O shots come out tasting like rubbing alcohol and regret. SO LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY. For Jell-O shots that will taste delicious and still get you fucked up, you still replace the cold water with the alcohol, but you also REPLACE THE CUP OF HOT WATER WITH ONE CUP OF JUICE.

This is why you can’t be choosing flavors all willy-nilly. You have to put some thought into it. Maybe buy more packets of Jell-O than you need in case you fuck up the flavor profiles. Can you tell I take this way too seriously?

And now I will no longer be invited to parties since I gave away my long sought-after recipe. JK, I’ll still get invited because I’m a fucking good time. But anyway, for those of you who lack the powers of deductive reasoning, here’s your step-by-step guide to making these patriotic Jell-O shots. Please note, these are not for the layered Jell-O shots pictured above, but for red and white and blue ones. As in, separate colors, separate cups. I’ll get to the fancy shit in a sec.

1. Get your pot. Measure 1 cup of juice. Pour into pot. Put it on the stove on low heat, and when that shit starts to boil, stir in your Jell-O mix until it’s dissolved. This should take like, 2 minutes (btw this is all on the box in case you forget).

2. Once it’s dissolved, remove the pot from heat. Measure your 1 cup of vodka and pour it in the Jell-O/juice mix. Stir.

3. Pour that shit into your cups. Put it all in the fridge. Wait like, 5 hours.

4. Rinse and repeat (like literally rinse the pot) 2 more times.

TA-DA!

If you want to get really fancy, you can do three-layered Jell-O shots, like so:

It’s the same as above, only when you pour the first layer of mix into the cups, only fill it like 1/3 of the way, fucking duh. Then—and this is the important part—you need to wait for each individual layer to solidify a little before you pour the next layer on top of it, which—double important part—NEEDS TO BE COOL. NOT HOT. Basically, if you try to pour hot Jell-O over not-gelled-Jell-O, instead of a nice layering effect, everything will all melt and mix together and you’ll have a gross brown (or purple?) mixture. Ew.

I can feel that I just overcomplicated things. Know what? Let’s leave the layering to the professionals. Aka, me.