This Drama Between A Senator And His Neighbor Is Juicier Than Any Kardashian News

Neighbors are the goddamned worst. This is not just a common cliché – it is fact. In college, we had our fair share of upstairs neighbors who sounded like their squeaky bedframes were going to break through the ceiling and fall on our faces. That Seth Rogen/Zac Efron movie, Neighbors, proved that even if you live next door to the most gorgeous human specimen to ever exist (call me, Zac), your neighbor will probably make your life a living hell. Two other neighbors who haven’t exactly been on loving terms lately are Rand Paul and his next-door neighbor, who got in a dispute that went from 0 to 100 real fast.

Who TF Is Rand Paul Again?

In case you need a refresher because all greying, white, male conservative politicians with one-syllable names blend together, let us remind you who we’re talking about here. Rand Paul is a senator from Kentucky with Justin Timberlake circa 1995 hair who had his hat in the race for President last year, but dropped out when he came in 5th out of 12 candidates in the Iowa Republican Caucus. As someone who also quits the second I’m not the best at something, I respect that. My illustrious soccer career ended in preschool and I’ve never looked back.

WTF Happened Here?

According to reports, Rand Paul was minding his business, mowing his expensively manicured lawn on his rich guy ride-along lawnmower, when his neighbor, Rene Boucher, went full Lemonade and beat the shit out of him. Boucher sits on the opposite side of the political spectrum, so at first, many assumed this might have something to do with their wildly different political views. Apparently, it all boiled down to a “landscaping issue”, with Boucher reportedly spazzing out because Paul blew a couple of lawn trimmings over into his yard. Dude needs a Xanax like, yesterday.

I know firsthand how completely psychotic neighbors get about their precious lawns – my parents once got a hand written letter in their mailbox because our petty af neighbors claimed that looking at the back side of our lawn decorations was an “eyesore.” Then, they built a fucking fence in the middle of our shared lawn to mark their territory. So we put some big-ass trees on our side of the fence. How’s that for an eyesore, bitch? Check yourself before you bring a knife to a petty gunfight.

Neighbors aren’t totally positive that stray branches caused Gretchen Weiners to crack Boucher to tackle Paul like a Real Housewife in a catfight, but many say that this conflict has been boiling below the surface for years. Paul ended up with a buildup of fluid around his lungs and six broken ribs as a result of the attack, which is like, pretty fucking serious. Police have charged Boucher with fourth-degree-assault, which is two degrees away from Kevin Bacon, and negative four degrees away from some highly probable jail time.

Here’s hoping Rand Paul has a speedy recovery because, regardless of how you feel about politics, no one deserves six crushed ribs when the argument comes down to leaves. However, I will say that this whole incident is truly bizarre and better than half of the reality TV garbage I subject myself to on a weekly basis. So if someone wants to challenge Kellyanne Conway to a UFC match, I’m not going to not watch, is all I’m saying.

WTF Are These Paradise Papers Everybody Is So Obsessed With?

In case you’ve been too busy not giving a shit about taxes—because honestly, who even understands how they work besides depriving me of my own money—allow us to explain the bombshell of shady dealings that recently leaked called the Bachelor in Paradise Papers. And as Chris Harrison will tell you, these papers are about to be some of the most dramatic leaks in paradise history.

Chris Harrison

WTF Is A Paradise Paper?

A bunch of journalists just went full Betty Cooper and uncovered a massive amount of document leaks that detail trillions of dollars earned by American companies, celebrity investors, and high-ranking political officials that have been hidden and funneled through offshore havens on remote islands. Basically, they’re hiding money at the local tropical bank next to your fav all-inclusive resort. Trillions is a shit ton of money so, yeah, this can be filed under Big Fucking Deal.

The Paradise Papers get their name because Appleby, my favorite place to drunk eat mozzarella sticks the major law firm assisting in the moving around of funds, is based in Bermuda and uses other paradise-y islands such as the Caymans and the Virgin Islands as places to shift their clients’ earnings so they don’t have to pay income taxes. Appleby helps its clients reduce their tax requirements and hide ownership of things like private jets, yachts, and expensive mansions. Meanwhile, I can’t even successfully hide credit card purchases from my dad, so maybe I should call them.

Pretty Little Liars

Who Is Implicated?

Just about every person and company famous for being super fucking rich. From the trademark rights to the Nike swoosh, to Madonna’s share in a medical company and Keira Knightley’s investments in some super random real estate firm, thousands of names were released in association with the use of tax haven islands. The Queen of England’s private estate even invested millions in a Cayman Islands fund previously unknown to the public, so basically she’s reached Olenna Tyrell levels of sneaky bitch. Yas Queen.

Queen Elizabeth

U2 lead singer and man who has no idea how to count to four in Spanish, Bono, is the partial owner of a shopping mall in Utena, Lithuania (where?), thanks to his investments in a company based in Malta—which, you guessed it, is also one of those tax haven islands. First of all, did no one question what Bono was doing with a Lithuanian mall or why Keira Knightley is trying to join the Property Brothers? Even I know that sounds shady and I get all of my investigative skills from Olivia Benson.

Olivia Benson

Apple also got their iHands dirty with a healthy dose of tax avoidance by shifting their profits to Irish subsidiary companies. When questioned about the company’s dealings, Apple’s CEO, Tim Cook, insisted that they didn’t just “stash money on a Caribbean Island.” That may be technically true, but they did stash it on an island in the English Channel called Jersey. Savage use of wordplay, Timmy. Cook is definitely the kind of fuckboy who tries to defend his late night Snaps because you said he couldn’t text his exes, but never said anything about Snapchat.

Side note: Anywhere named Jersey should automatically be flagged as a danger zone of probable suspicious activity. Both have shores where stuff is spread around, but on one of them it’s money, and on the other it’s unidentified fluids and STDs. 

Jersey Shore

Now you didn’t think a scandal would just breeze by without any mention of Trump and Russia, did you? Of fucking course not. A whole bunch of Trump’s friends and colleagues have holdings in offshore accounts, including Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and key Trump donors, the Mercers and Sheldon Adelson. One member of the Big Cheeto’s merry band of weasels joining the Paradise pregame is Wilbur Ross, Trump’s Secretary of Treasury. Ross invested in a shipping company whose top clients include a Russian firm controlled by someone literally being sanctioned right now, and Putin’s own son-in-law. If we have learned anything from this garbage fire of an administration, it’s to never trust a son-in-law.

Do Not Trust Her

Speaking of that creepy doll Adam brought to Bachelor in Paradise Jared Kushner, he’s not walking away scot-free either. A Russian billionaire named Yuri Milner invested an absurd amount of money in Facebook and Twitter, but that investment money came to him from Kremlin backers providing hundreds of millions from government-controlled banks and financial institutions typically used for “potentially strategic deals.” One of Milner’s current investments also includes a real estate venture founded and partly owned by, you guessed it, Daddy-in-Law’s Boy Jared.

Scream Queens

Why Should You Care?

Ok, so even though all of that shit sounds shadier than “we’re just friends”, it isn’t necessarily illegal. However, as more Nancy Drew-ing goes down, it’s likely that a dece amount of illegal activity will emerge. As far as uber-rich celebrities go, tax evasion is just kinda fucked up. Like, can you just register your private jet in the country where you actually use it plz?


As for the ties to Russia, that doesn’t bode very well for the whole “no connections between Trump and Putin” lie this administration has been peddling harder than me at SoulCycle the day after Thanksgiving.

With the release of the papers, officials are feeling the pressure to tighten up the very loose loopholes that allow these strategic tax avoidance hacks to happen, and they are considering making it harder to make use of rando offshore companies to hide their money. All I know is, Paradise is a breeding ground for scandal, and I’ll be sitting over here eating my bowl of cheese pasta and waiting for it all to implode.

Corinne Cheese

Everyone’s Freaking Out Over The Color Of These Sneakers

Remember that dress that blew up the internet a few years back? You know the one I’m talking about. The one that was either white and gold or blue and black, depending on how much weed you’d smoked that day the construction of your retinas or whatever? Well, now it’s back, only this time, in the form of a pair of sneakers. On Wednesday, a Twitter user who has since deleted her account (but y tho?) posted a picture of a pair of Vans, asking the internet what color the sneakers are. And boom went the dynamite. I saw these sneakers on Instagram yesterday and was pretty convinced it was an internet hoax. Like, you know the memes that are so purposefully un-funny they’re kind of funny? I thought it was like that. But no, this is real. People are really seeing these clearly TEAL AND GRAY sneakers as white and pink, proving that there’s a large group of people out there who need help.

For reference, here are the offending sneakers.

Vans Sneakers Teal And Gray

NO. You’re lying. I will not go through this again, do you hear me?? I WON’T. Those sneakers are as gray and teal as Trump is racist. I realize that analogy probably left some ambiguity for the Trump supporters out there, so let me clarify that with the following qualifier: VERY. THEY ARE VERY TEAL AND GRAY. No amount of squinting, staring at it, or looking away and then looking back is going to change my mind.

Someone else uploaded another image of the shoes in question, explaining that the bad flash and lighting gave them the gray/teal appearance.

Pink And White Vans

And like, fine. Okay, that time I see it. The shoe is a very light pink, and the stripe and sole and laces are white. I accept it. BUT YOU CANNOT PUT THAT PICTURE SIDE-BY-SIDE WITH THE TEAL ONE AND TELL ME THEY ARE THE SAME. You cannot. Don’t believe me? Fine, I’ll put them next to each other for you, ya lazy ass.

Do those look the same to you?? DO THEY?? 


If both of those images look pink and white to you, stop reading this article; you need to go get your eyes checked.

3 Terrifying Pieces Of Anti-Woman Legislation You Need To Know About Right Now

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 3x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain everything that’s going on in terms you can understand. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!

When I mention your body’s biggest enemy, you probably have something that came immediately to mind: your thighs, your arms, the pimple you got from dropping kettle corn into your mouth/all over your face so you could eat without sitting up for normal adult reasons. Or maybe you thought of the parade of fuckboys last few bros you banged who confirmed for you that some people just weren’t built to interact with the female body. This second guess is closer to what I’m actually talking about, because it similarly concerns a group of largely white men (if you’d like to fight me on your sexual history, feel free, I’m just taking a guess) who have no business with women’s bodies, and yet can’t leave them the fuck alone. Those people are called YOUR GOVERNMENT. (Mic drop, I am political.)

In all honesty, I probably don’t have a single friend who would describe me as political; I don’t even feel like I ignore the news on purpose, it just kind of floats past me, like everything that was ever said in a high school history class. But because I’m a selfish bitch I care about my readers very much, when I hear about bullshit new measures that will negatively affect my body both on a daily basis and in times of need, I am going to listen the fuck up and urge you all to do the same. Here’s a rundown of the three scariest pieces of legislation aimed to limit women’s choices right now—and for those of you with any remaining doubts that I really do not usually care/write about politics, please know that I literally just Googled the word “legislation” to make sure I was using it correctly. Feels good.

Kevin The Office

1. Remember When Obama Made Your Boss Pay for Your Birth Control? Yeah, That’s Over.

In a continued bid to out-evil Satan, Trump made a fun little announcement last Friday: He’s shut down the Obama-era law requiring most employers to cover co-pay-free birth control, an amazing measure we definitely all took completely for granted. Now, in the nation of Gilead Trump’s America, employers will be able to cite “religious or moral objection” to covering birth control, and BAM: You can no longer afford brunch, because that budget has been re-allocated to your “not getting pregnant” fund. Oh, and regardless of your birth control type, this shit is not cheap: My employer insurance had a fun two-week blackout last month and I was charged $200 for a 30-day supply of my GENERIC birth control pill. So don’t even try to come at me with that “just pay out of pocket, mer mer mer, women want everything for free” shit, TYLER.

Proposed Solution: If there is a guy you are regularly having sex with, and your birth control coverage is affected, ask him to pay for half. I know this doesn’t effect change on a policy level, but as a group, can women please stop accepting sole financial responsibility for preventing pregnancy? If the guy you’re fucking starts whining about the cost, just tell him there’s a 100% free alternative: You can stop having sex with him, forever.


2. 20 Weeks Pregnant? Cool, You’re Having a Baby Now.

Though this isn’t yet in immediate effect like the above measure, a bill recently passed through the House of Representatives criminalizing abortion after 20 weeks of pregnancy. Never mind the fact that if our government hates abortions so much, they probably shouldn’t have repealed the access to free birth control, which conveniently yielded lower abortion rates than we had in 1973, when abortion was made legal nation-wide. Never mind the disgustingly insulting title for this bill of “Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act,” which would perhaps have been more aptly titled “Pain-Capable and Very Much Born Adult Woman Punishment Act.” In this case, let’s focus on the fact that one of the bill’s co-sponsors, Tim Murphy of Pennsylvania, was literally texting his mistress to GET AN ABORTION while passing this bill through the House. Everything about this bill (and its relation to less-available birth control) is so alarmingly nonsensical that I’m almost ready to start buying into lizard-person theories. Given the one season I watched of House of Cards, I feel like “handling” a mistress’ pregnancy is basically a rite of passage for most politicians—so why are they so fucking intent on making sure those abortions need to be illegal and unsafe? It’s definitely not a conspiracy to have more women die during the procedure, rendering them unable to talk about the affair, right? Wait…right?

Pepe Silvia

3. A Special-Edition Coverage Slash For Pre-Pregnant, Pregnant, And Post-Pregnant Women

This bad boy, otherwise known as the Graham-Cassidy bill, is luckily having a lot of trouble getting passed, so there’s chance you won’t actually have to deal with this specifically. Which is good because I JUST spent two hours of my Monday at a Planned Parenthood phone bank defeating this nightmare of a bill that keeps popping back up like a zombie Whack-A-Mole, can I live for one week?? But honestly, every proposed healthcare reform bill this garbage-monster administration has spewed out has been pretty similarly shitty, so expect comparable measures if they manage to get anything through. This particular bill has gone ahead and banned women on Medicaid from visiting Planned Parenthood (straight up, I do not know what Medicaid is, but oh my god just allow women access to appropriate healthcare, our bodies are more complicated than yours and we fucking need it). Also, it’s restricted abortion coverage and maternity care in the same bill, so really (unless you’re a politician’s mistress!), these people would like to ensure that you get pregnant, stay pregnant, and bear the emotional, physical, and financial burden of that pregnancy all on your own. Just like how you got pregnant all on your own, without the help of any second party. Right.

Liz Lemon

Basically, the only common thread of these new measures is that our government doesn’t give a shit about you or your body. There’s no ideological or economic background that makes any sense, much like when Dean started motorboating D-Lo in the pool, thus jeopardizing his supposed “deep emotional connection” with Kristina, and the lucrative fandom love that could have launched a thousand Instagram sponsorships. So, I encourage you to start thinking about our government the way you think about the fuckboys we deal with on a daily basis: Until they shape the fuck up, we’ll be heavily looking into alternative options. You don’t let fuckboys tell you what to do with your body, so let’s get them out of these government positions where they can literally charge you for going against their dumbass ideas on what your body has access to.

Read: The 5 Biggest Fuckboys In Congress Right Now

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 3x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain everything that’s going on in terms you can understand. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!

The 8 Most Important Features On The iPhone X You Need To Know About

On Tuesday, Apple had their annual event where they talk a lot about how they’re the most amazing company ever, and then they unveil a new iPhone that makes the tech world collectively jizz their pants. This year didn’t disappoint. After they spent like 30 minutes talking about how their stores are actually called “town squares” now (barf), they got to the goods: the iPhone X. And it’s beautiful. Here’s what you need to know about the latest offering from Steve Jobs’ ghost the Apple team.

1. X as in 10

In case you were confused, it’s pronounced “iPhone 10.” Apple is obviously too classy for, like, double digit numbers and counting in order, so they went with a Roman numeral. So thanks to that one random teacher in fifth grade who said we would need to know Roman numerals, now we’re finally putting our education to use.

2. The Screen

With the new iPhone, Apple got rid of that pesky home button and extended the screen so it’s edge-to-edge across the entire front. While you’ll have to get used to doing things without a button, now you have more surface area to admire your selfies and stalk potential bros. It’s, like, really pretty.

iPhone X Diary: First impressions from the keynote don’t wow me, but do impress

— 9to5Mac  (@9to5mac) September 13, 2017

3. Selfie Camera Upgrade

The old iPhone selfie camera isn’t terrible, but it’s also highly questionable sometimes, and Apple is here to help in your quest to become a social media thirst trap. The new selfie camera comes with portrait mode, the standout feature from the iPhone 7 that lets you take everything from LinkedIn photos to artistically blurred nudes. This is major, guys, and we are so thankful.

4. Face ID

If scanning your fingerprint was starting to feel really 2014, Apple agreed with you. With the removal of the home button/fingerprint scanner, they had to come up with something new to unlock your phone, and they settled on facial recognition. This shit is supposed to be like 10 times more secure than the fingerprint, so your important documents (screenshots that could end relationships/careers/lives) are safer than ever. 


5. Talking Emojis

We’re not sure if this sounds like fun or our worst nightmare. Using the facial recognition software, Apple also animated some popular emojis, so you can record yourself and it literally turns you into the emoji. Technology is out here saving lives and making the world a better place every damn day, shit is crazy. Nothing will get a boy to respond to you like a stern message from a talking chicken, right?

6. Glass And Shit

The new iPhone has glass on the front and the back, which sounds like a recipe for drunken disaster, but Apple assures us that it’s the most durable glass ever used on a phone. We all have at least one train wreck friend who will really put that to the test. The phone is also water and dust resistant like the 7, so toilets still aren’t an issue, thank god.


7. Wireless Charging

The new iPhone is the first to have wireless charging capability, where you can just set it down on a special mat and it just does its thing. This sounds cool, but what will we do without seven different charging cords on every side of our bed? It’s going to take some getting used to, but change is good.

8. iOS 11

The new version of iOS is available for everyone next week, and it’s a nice upgrade from last year’s edition. Everything just looks cleaner, and there’s a really nice change to control center that lets you customize what you want easy access to. Ugh, why do we like this company so much.

Shut Up And Take My Money

Read: The 8 Best And Cutest Portable Chargers
Internet Fuckboy Wants To End His Engagement For Reasons That Are Giving Me Rage Blackouts

Happy Monday, everyone. The sun is shining, half our country is underwater, the other half is up in flames, and I have once again lost the remaining vestiges of my hope in mankind. I mean that literally, BTW—I have no faith in men, as opposed to humans in general (although the rest of you aren’t too far off my list, so don’t get comfortable). My faith in the male population has been decimated faster than my group of six friends decimated four plates of nachos yesterday afternoon, thanks to a little ol’ Reddit post I found over the weekend entitled, “I don’t know how to convince my fiancé to lose weight. I no longer find her attractive”. Why do I do this to myself? I don’t fucking know. I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment.

Anyway, the text of this post has since been deleted, so you’re just going to have to trust me on this. This 25-year-old Reddit user wrote in because he’s since grown unattracted to his fiancée due to her weight gain. He writes, “Me and my Girlfriend were the typical ‘gym couple’. We worked out together, ate healthy, nutritious meals every day and would spur each other on to be as physically fit as possible. Fast forward to now and after having proposed to her, she’s been piling on the pounds and no longer wants to go to the gym or on runs.” 

Like, okay, fair. If you bonded over a mutual activity and that was basically the foundation of your relationship and now one partner has completely lost all interest in that, yeah, I can see how that would be tough to deal with. Even if you do sound like the most annoying people in the universe. He continues, I do love her personality but physically she disgusts me by her mannerisms whilst eating and she is becoming lazier by the day.”

Internally Outraged

NOPE. Nope. You lost me the moment you said your fiancée, the woman you’re about to pledge your loyalty to in sickness and in health, “physically disgusts you.” Also, what do you mean “by her mannerisms whilst eating”? Like, is she a loud chewer? Because I feel like that’s a pretty easy conversation to have. Or do you just mean her eating habits but you’re too afraid to say it? But you know what, okay, I can understand what this guy’s going through. Like, if you started dating a supermodel and now they’re morbidly obese, I can totally see how your attraction would wane. So is that what happened here? Did we go from two extremes of the weight spectrum? Um, no.

“She’s 5’5 and 160 lbs now and before I proposed, she was 132 and looked amazing.”

Okay, wait wait wait. I got out my handy dandy BMI calculator on the internet to see just how bad of a change we’re talking here. So to start, at 132 pounds and 5’5″ we’re talking a BMI of 22.0 That’s a normal BMI. Ok, all good here. But then I got to pluggin’. And at 5’5″, weighing 160 pounds puts you in a BMI of 26.6, which is the overweight category. Not obese—just overweight. And you know how much weight you’d have to lose to get back in a normal BMI range? 10 pounds. Yes, really. At that height, the normal BMI range ends at 150 pounds. So yeah. To be fair, a 28 pound weight gain in the span of a year is definitely concerning, but at the end of the day this guy is going to end his engagement over TEN FUCKING POUNDS. 

Are You Serious

Are you kidding me? Ten pounds? That’s how precariously your relationship hangs in the balance? WTF would happen if your fiancée got sick? Or got pregnant? Would you dump her the second she gave birth because her baby weight didn’t immediately melt off? You’re gonna sit here and propose to someone and yet you can’t even have a conversation with them to try and work through your issues before ending the engagement? Ok. This is the type of shit I point to when my dad asks why I’m still single. 

And you know what the best worst part is? The comments that are just endorsing this fuckboy’s entitled attitude. There’s comments like, She’s starting to develop a different lifestyle than you, you can totally say this is a dealbreaker and move on. I know break-ups suck, but at least this happened before the wedding. You’ll both be happier with someone who lives the same lifestyle.” Another one says, If already at 24 she’s letting herself go like that… there’s very little hope that she’ll be interested in staying lean and in shape in middle adulthood.” Like, fuck all this bullshit. How much do you all want to bet that if a woman was posting this about her fiancé, the comments would be all, “Stick by him, don’t be a shallow bitch, do you even know what ‘for better or for worse’ means?” Or like, at best it would be like, “invite him to the gym with you, cook him healthy meals, encourage him” bullshit. And I’m not just taking crazy leaps of faith off my feminist soapbox here. I literally know this for a fact because I am secretly a Reddit lurker by night. A few—keyword, few—people rightfully pointed out that maybe something more is going on here to spark this weight gain, like depression or anxiety, and maybe this guy should try to get to the root of this sudden change before going for the nuclear option.

I Can't

So, um, yeah. Fuck this guy and fuck all this bullshit. And to all you 25-year-olds who are out here getting engaged for the Insta, maybe you should really think through what it means to commit to someone for the rest of your life before you pop the question. It will save you a lot of time and money and it will save me a lot of hypertension. Kthx.

This Couple Had The Tackiest Wedding Of All Time

We all know those people who are way too into their gyms. Someone you’re friends with on Facebook started doing CrossFit or some shit like that, and now it’s your entire newsfeed. Well take a seat, because Renee’s #TransformationTuesday pics or whatever don’t hold a fucking candle to this psycho couple that literally got MARRIED at a Planet Fitness. Yes, throwing up in your mouth is the appropriate reaction.

Joe and Stephanie are your average boring white couple, and it all started when they randomly met at…you guessed it, Planet Fitness! We’re usually trying our best not to get noticed, let alone hit on, at the gym, but I guess Stephanie knows something we don’t.

They also said “I love you” for the first time in the Planet Fitness parking lot, because nothing screams romance more than a bunch of minivans with free Planer Fitness bumper stickers.

Stephanie said she considered other wedding venues, but it just didn’t feel right not to do it at the gym. Brb, we need to go scream into a pillow for a few minutes. They also took their wedding photos at the gym, complete with the world’s most heinous photo of the entire wedding party posing on a line of ellipticals. We couldn’t make this shit up if we tried. People are the worst. 

DelishDotCom: A Couple Got Married At Planet Fitness And the Photos Are Actually Adorable

— Tiffany Revere (@tiffanyrevere) September 6, 2017

We have a lot of questions. Where did they put the DJ or band? Were people expected to dance in between the ellipticals and weight racks? How did they serve food? Like, my Planet Fitness (yes, I’m poor, persecute me) smells permanently of sweat and all the surfaces are mysteriously slippery—who would want to eat in that kind of environment? Aren’t there laws against that? I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!

So yeah, weddings have officially been canceled until further notice.

How You Can Actually Help Hurricane Harvey Victims

In case you haven’t been paying attention, things in Texas aren’t so good right now. There’s terrible flooding in Houston and elsewhere, and many people have lost everything. If you’re feeling fortunate that you’re living on dry land right now and want to do something to help, here are some good resources that aren’t scams.

1. The American Red Cross

The Red Cross is a humanitarian organization that’s dedicated to disaster relief, and donating couldn’t be easier. You can go to their website, or if you text HARVEY to 90999, you can donate $10. That’s like, one drink. Better idea: When a creepy guy asks for your number this weekend, put in that number. 

2. Blood Donations

Whenever a disaster like this happens, hospitals are always in desperate need of blood donations. Donating blood is no fun, but if you can make yourself do it you could really be helping someone. AABB is a service that coordinates where you can donate blood.

3. Texas Diaper Bank

Diapers might not seem like a big deal, but most emergency relief organizations don’t provide diapers to young children. They still need them. If you donate to Texas Diaper Bank (like Kim Kardashian did the other day), your money will go to getting moms the supplies they need.

4. Food Banks

Many people are stranded without enough food, and donating to local food banks can help fix that. Both the Houston Food Bank and the Food Bank of Corpus Christi are seeking donations.

5. Salvation Army

The Salvation Army doesn’t just do thrift stores, they’re also on the ground helping people out. They also let you do text donations by texting STORM to 51555 (another number you can sneak into guys’ phones), or of course you can go to their website.