Labor Day has come and gone, which means it’s time to pack away your white clothing resting betch faces that are officially so last season. While RBF never goes out of style, we highly recommend freshening up your look every few months to stay trendy and keep your acquaintances on edge so they’re genuinely afraid of you. As always, we’ve got the chicest betch faces for you to choose from, that are certifiably terrifying and extremely on brand.
Here are our top five picks for Fall 2017:
1. RuPaul
It’s no secret that drag queens have been slaying RBF since forever, but RuPaul’s look is currently shining especially bright. With a hit TV show and better bone structure than anyone on the planet, her look is one that says “You’re wasting my time” before you even get the chance to speak. As we enter winter/cuffing season, we love RuPaul’s betch face for first dates, work meetings, and other situations where your superiority must be instantly known.
2. Bella Thorne
Bella Thorne is obvi a trainwreck, which is why her resting face of pure washed-up exhaustion will speak to betches who barely survived the summer and are not excited for fall. Her chaotic life has clearly taken a toll, both mentally and physically, and her resting face somehow captures all of it. The Bella Thorne is a must-have for hungover brunch, waiting in line for birth control at the pharmacy, and any time this fall when you simply cannot and will not.
3. Prince George And Princess Charlotte
Prince George and Princess Charlotte aren’t even five years old yet and they’re already over smiling to keep the peasants entertained. With a third sibling on the way, they’re more than ready to let the newest royal child be the nice one and focus on being as bougie as possible instead. Their signature stank faces are versatile and can be worn anywhere, but we recommend trying them on an elevated surface for a fresh way to look down on other club-goers.
4. Anderson Cooper
Anderson Cooper has about fucking had it with all the shit that’s gone down this year, and his RBF is simply stunning as a result. His look of utter disgust is completely effortless, and his spirit seems truly hardened after being forced to engage with the current state of American politics on a daily basis. Will he ever recover? We’re not sure, but that’s what makes his look so hot right now and perfect for letting people know you’re woke and therefore permanently pissed.
5. Raven Symone
Just in time for the That’s So Raven reboot, we’re seeing the Raven Symone betch face make an impressive comeback this fall. Raven has always wowed us with her ability to be joking in one instant and then all of a sudden dead-ass serious in the next. Her resting face in between lets everyone know she’s not just sassy, but will also legit ruin your life if you cross her. It’s all we can ask for out of a great RBF, which is why you little nasties can find us sporting this staple betch face pretty much every day this week.
Nick Viall is out of our lives forever, or at least until Dancing With The Stars, so now it is time to concentrate on what’s really important—who is going to be on Bachelor in Paradise? Because, at the end of the day, every season of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is really just one big group audition for Paradise. Cast members who prove themselves crazy enough (Corinne), hot enough (Corinne), and desperate enough (double Corinne) all get the chance to have sex with each other on an island, just like God and Chris Harrison intended. With the existence of BiP, it’s hard to believe why anyone would want to actually win the show anymore. Like, at the end of this season Raven ended up with all-expense-paid trip to bang on a beach in Mexico and Vanessa ended up with…Nick Viall? Cool prize.
So, which Bachelor cast members are going to be mashed up (literally) down in Mexico? Well, we don’t really know yet. But here’s everyone who has talked about it, and exactly what they’ve said:
Raven
We already know that Raven will be there, soaking up the sun and as many orgasms as possible. I think it’s safe to say that this year’s runner-up and her incredible eyelashes won’t be returning to Hoxie anytime soon.
Corinne
As we all know, Corinne Olympios simply must appear on next season of BiP. Despite that the fact that when asked about BiP, Corinne reportedly said “I don’t think so” and “It’s too early to tell right now,” I think it’s safe to say that that is bullshit and Corinne and her platinum vagine will be napping in paradise or the Bachelor producers have totally shit the bed on everything they’re supposed to be good at.
Wonder if they’ll fly Raquel out with her?
Chad
Despite being kicked off season 3 literally night one for being a drunk idiot (same), Chad will be back for season 4. According to Chad he’s “already agreed to it,” and given the rumors that Corinne and Chad are already texting, I think it’s safe to say these two will be eating meat plates and cheese pasta in paradise veeeery soon.
Chris Soules
Chris Soules is still looking for love, apparently. He told Entertainment Tonight that he’s def been asked but isn’t sure what to do due to concerns over the readiness of his beach bod. “I’ve gotten chubby. That’s my main concern. Those guys have abs and shit.”
That they do, Chris. That they do.
Luke Pell
Bachelor Nation is already losing it over the prospect that Luke Pell might be the next man lucky enough to give Raven Gates an orgasm this season in Mexico, but Luke is still not confirmed. He told Life & Style, “I like Mexico. I like sitting on the beach with attractive people, and margaritas and mariachi bands, so I don’t know. Maybe. We’ll see.” Um yeah Luke that sounds like a yes. Sorry, Danielle L, looks like you’re getting dumped (again).
Alexis
Our favorite drunk person who doesn’t know the different between a dolpin and a shark is all but confirmed for this season of BiP. She has been quoted as saying “Hell yeah, I’m so down for it!” and “I feel like I came out of the womb for Bachelor in Paradise.” We agree, Alexis. We all agree.
Grant Kemp
Grant came away with at least one failed engagement his last stint on Bachelor in Paradise, so why not go for two? He says he’s open to it, telling Life & Style, “It was a lot for me last time I was on it. I don’t regret doing it, but it would really just depend on who will be there.”
Danielle M
Danielle M was mostly boring on Nick’s season of The Bachelor, but she showed up at the Women Tell All with a fire makeover that all but solidified her a spot in paradise. But apparently boring-ass Danielle is on the fence for a predictably boring reason: “I don’t know if the hospital will let me take off more time.” Honestly Danielle, with answers like that you legit do not deserve paradise.
There will obvs be more people as we get closer to the season, but I think it’s safe to say that, as long as Corinne is there, so are we.
