Hello there, and welcome back to the Kylie Jenner Pregnancy Rumor Channel. We’re now into month five of pregnancy speculation, which is funny because I feel like it’s been a hundred years. Somehow it’s 2018 and we still don’t know for sure that Kylie is pregnant, so let’s talk about why these donuts mean Kylie is pregnant. Get comfortable, because this is actually a two-part conspiracy theory.
On the last episode of Keeping Up, Kylie sent almost everyone in the family pink donuts. A fun, yummy treat, or an elaborate pregnancy scheme? People were quick to point out the color of the donuts, suggesting that this confirms the rumors that Kylie is giving birth to a baby girl. That would actually kind of make sense, and it’s not the most ridiculous gender reveal we’ve heard of.
But the next important piece of this puzzle is that Kim didn’t get any donuts. We’d say she’s on a diet, but Kourtney didn’t eat hers either, instead satisfying herself by sniffing a donut like she was a high schooler with a fresh pack of Sharpies. No, there has to be another reason that Kim didn’t get donuts. The theory is that Kylie might actually be Kim’s surrogate, in which case there’s no need to tell her the gender of the baby. Dun dun DUNNNNNN.
So is Kylie the surrogate? There’s no way to know for sure, but it’s definitely possible. That might explain Kylie’s reluctance to have the spotlight on her, because the baby isn’t actually hers. But it also seems weird to me that someone young enough to fit in at a frat party would just like, volunteer to make her body less hot? Like Kylie, this is the prime of your life, and you fucking volunteered as tribute to get a shitload of stretch marks? It’s a no from me.
So is Kylie having a girl? And is it actually Kim’s? I won’t pretend to be psychic or anything, but I’m going to officially guess that the answer to at least one of those questions is yes. And let’s hope we get an answer soon, because I swear I’m about to start putting vodka in my coffee if I don’t get some closure.