What does a betch love more than her iPhone or a bottle glass of wine? Pizza. For centuries, drunk betches have scarfed down thousands of slices around the world. Pizza is the solution to just about every issue: broke? Get a 99-cent slice. Breakup? Eat your way through a whole box. Kavanaugh? Inhale an entire pizza place. Lacking on your Instagram game? Museum of Pizza.
That’s right. If you thought The Ice Cream Museum was the most extra thing to hit the ‘Gram, get ready for two weeks of pizza-filled posts. The Nameless Network, an entertainment company, has created The Museum of Pizza, opening in Williamsburg from October 13-28. This Instagram thirst trap museum is full of pizza themed art and immersive pizza rooms. From the “pizza vortex” to the “cheesy cave,” you can bask in the glories of what heaven looks like while getting some fire Instas. The captions will be endless.
#MoPi (the succinct but somewhat unfortunate nickname for the museum) also recently released a promo video that’s legit soft-core pizza porn. And it’s kind of amazing. People seductively eat pizza in next to no clothing, moaning and have tomato sauce dumped on their heads. It’s basically what everyone thinks they look like eating pizza, but obvs, they don’t.
The Museum of Pizza website writes, “Pizza does not judge; it is always for the people, by the people—and that’s why we love it.” Pizza doesn’t care if you fall asleep with it smeared against your face when you’re blacked out. It also doesn’t care when you throw it up the next morning. Pizza is America, and it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty or any pizza boxes I’ve ever seen.
In case you’re wondering, there is some real art being displayed. Works like Andrew W.K.’s “Pizza Guitar” and Hein Koh’s “Mystic Pizza” can be found in the museum as well. But don’t pretend you’re going for the art, we know you just want the selfies in the “pizza beach” room. That’s like going to The Museum of Sex and saying you’re there to learn about the history of coitus. No b*tch, we know you just want to jump into the boob castle. This is pizza, so please, don’t get all high and mighty and ruin it for all of us. Xo.
The Museum of Pizza also donates a portion of the tickets to provide meals for a family in need, so you’re basically a philanthropist if you go to this. It like, totally counteracts your 400 selfies (that you’ll one hundred percent hate all of because Becky can’t get the f*cking lighting right). So bring your best photographers friends to experience another food-themed Instagram paradise.
Check out the Museum of Pizza website for tickets and more info.
Images: Hein Koh, Sarah Bahbah / Museum of Pizza; Giphy