I don’t know about you, but this heat wave is seriously fucking me up. After spending all winter becoming one with my couch, I was really ready for another four months on my couch to get back out there this summer. Instead, I’m finding myself yearning for the days when lying under a blanket didn’t feel like entering a sweat lodge. SO: even though we all get a pass on going outside this week, summer should be your most social season—and dating is no exception. Sunlight makes people happy, happy hours make people drunk, and drunk, happy people have more fun on dates. It’s basic math. Of course, not all summer dates are created equal. So while you’re fielding texts from Hinge matches, keep in mind that many invitations are still worth ignoring. Here’s what these date locations say about your date’s intentions.
Their Local Coffee Shop
In non-summer months, this has potential to be a fine option if you’re on antibiotics. It’s easy to cut short, requires minimal dressing up, and is overall a low-cost alternative to meeting for drinks. And going to the guy’s usual local spot can give you a sense of his overall vibe, though the implication that he’s hoping you’ll go home with him obviously stands.
During the summer though, this invite is all kinds of sus. If they’re trying to meet you at 2pm on a Saturday down the block from their apartment, they likely haven’t left their apartment in six weeks and will be rolling out of bed, wiping Cheeto crumbs off their shirt, and contemplating cancelling five times before they finally walk down the block. Oh, and they’ll probably try to steer the “date” back to their place to continue whatever TV show they were binging within 30 minutes of meeting you. With all the outdoor options and day-drinking venues summer has to offer, if the best they can do is a non-alcoholic beverage in their zip code, they either don’t give a shit about this date at all, have no social life to speak of, or both.
Picnic In The Park
Whether or not this is a red flag is kind of subjective. If you’re a fan of watching ants climb all over your food while dodging Frisbees, enjoy! (Yeah I hate picnics. Sue me.) The plus side of a picnic invitation is that it’s (meant to be) romantic, so the person who suggests this is definitely making an effort. The downside is that they require a ton of work to pull off effectively. So in Scenario A, your date shows up with a small suitcase worth of supplies (coolers, something to sit on so you don’t get grass stains, etc). While sweet, it also makes it painfully evident how much effort they put in and could be a turn-off early on. It also makes it impossible to continue the date afterward because they’re carrying around 10 pounds of picnic supplies.
In Scenario B, your date brings two 99 cent cans of Arizona iced teas and nothing else, you’re both covered in sweat and grass stains within 10 minutes, he gets embarrassed and tries to act like you’re too high maintenance to cover up that he planned a shitty-ass date. Ultimately, inviting you to a picnic means they’ve thought about this date way too much (and have probably done this exact date with their ex) or way too little. You can appreciate the gesture, but I do not recommend going on this date.
^The last time someone actually enjoyed a picnic.
Rooftop Bar With Their Friends
This is also kind of a mixed bag, but for different reasons. If they invite you to this a few days in advance, it’s ideal. It likely resembles the weekend plans you would have made for yourself anyway, and it means they want you to meet their friends. Win-win. If they invite you to this while they’re already there, it’s a very different story. This means they got drunk and horny, and are too awkward to actually meet someone at the bar full of equally drunk singles. Instead, they started going through their phone and messaging their last week of matches. While the commitment to not meeting people is admirable, you’re better than this. Being available on-demand for whenever they’re done with the social part of their night and just want to get laid is never a good look.*
*If you’ve been on a few dates already, this could be a cute “had a few drinks and started thinking about you” type text. But keep an eye on whether they actually introduce you to their friends when you show up, or if they just try to hustle you home.
Weeknight Dinner Reservation
Like the coffee date, this is normal/fine other parts of the year. But IMO, scheduling an 8pm dinner on a Wednesday is a little formal for a summer date. Has he never heard of happy hour? And is he just expecting you to waste prime drinking hours just to exchange information about your siblings and hometowns over cloth napkins? This date option implies that they’re highly traditional, operate by a strict schedule, and are probably not that much fun. This holds especially true if the restaurant they choose also offers a happy hour menu and they purposely choose not to do it. Who hurt you????
Their House In The Hamptons
This date is the easiest to decode. If they invite you to their house in the Hamptons, MARRY THEM. Seriously. Lock that shit down before the next heat wave rolls through.
Ultimately, dating in the summer is easier than dating in the winter. But because we can’t have nice things, that doesn’t mean some red flags don’t apply. Summer is the time to be your most fun self, taking advantage of long summer nights and half-off drinks. If their best self doesn’t crave margaritas after 12pm from June-September, think carefully whether this is someone you’re interested in dating. And maybe give your number to the people you see out at your favorite summer bars instead. At least you know they have good taste.
Images: Giphy (5); Jelleke Vanooteghem / Unsplash
I learned two important lessons from my time analyzing men’s underwear. 1) I’m basically the female version of Tan, and 2) there are way more bad options than good when it comes to covering men’s junk. The situation is no different when we’re looking at bathing suits—*remembers Speedos exist*—actually, it’s worse. Ultimately, scoping out guys at your local beach/pool/YMCA (I don’t judge) isn’t about finding your sartorial soulmate. It’s really about avoiding these common red flags. Read on for what his swimsuit says about him, and the swimsuits that should make you run far, far away.
Swim Briefs
Let’s start with the worst. “Swim briefs” are Speedos, plain and simple. Calling them swim briefs is the equivalent of referring to Q-tips as “cotton swabs.” So even using this term is sufficient reason to excuse yourself to the bathroom and never return. For those lucky souls who have never encountered a Speedo, I’ll paint you a picture. They do bare minimum in the front, and either barely cover his ass or go full thong. In other words, if you hook up with a guy wearing a Speedo, you could plausibly mistake it for your own underwear while trying to get dressed. These are strangely popular among Europeans, so consider yourself warned before meeting your Italian Hinge match at Le Bain.
Square Leg/Square-Cut Shorts
Looks like we’re going least to most coverage here! Square-cut shorts are the bathing suit equivalent of boxer briefs. This cut can be sexy when revealed under pants, but IMO it’s a little aggressive as the sole thing covering your lower half. (*Thinks back to the cheeky Brazilian bikini I just ordered.* Nope, I stand by it.) I feel like Jordan from The Bachelorette definitely wears this kind of bathing suit, to give you a sense of the overall dateability conveyed by this style. It’s the ultimate for guys who want to show off every inch of their bodies without committing fashion suicide. AKA every guy who cracked 1,000 followers on IG and now thinks they’re too good to answer your texts. Not that I’m bitter, we were obvs growing apart anyway. But yeah, guys who wear this swimsuit are likely way more into themselves than they are you. Sorry!
Swim Trunks
Ayyy, we’ve arrived at the only socially acceptable swim suit for men. Feels good. You’ll recognize swim trunks from every time you’ve seen a male go in water without baring their full ass. They’re your basic loose short, completely indistinguishable from actual male shorts to the naked eye. With swim trunks, the main thing you want to look out for is the print they choose. My personal preference is a solid that’s flattering to their skin tone, or a simple print that’s on-theme without being obnoxious. (E.g. *subtle* floral/Hawaiian, nautical, etc. Don’t @ me, I like the tiny sailboat thing.)
If they’re covered in giant flamingos, pineapples, or American flags, they’re frat bros who didn’t have to do anything other than breathe to get laid in college and don’t intend to start now. Give them a few years of getting rejected by women like you and come back to them. Like wine, except instead of wine it’s a 27-year-old man-baby. Anyone who wears plaid swim trunks is a psychopath or in middle school, and you can’t convince me otherwise.
Board Shorts
Board shorts are…ok. They’re really just the sloppier, oversized version of swim trunks, often worn by little kids or guys who really don’t care about the fit of their clothes. Acceptable on surfers, for whom these serve a legit practical purpose. In all other scenarios, it’s the sartorial equivalent of what you put on to pick up Gatorade while hungover.
Jammers
First time hearing of jammers? Don’t worry, me too. While I’d hoped this was a term for dressed-up jammies, it’s actually a swimsuit specifically designed for athletic performance. AKA this bitch better be training for the Olympics. Otherwise, he’s just weirdly proud of his thigh girth or trying to hide some kind of rash. Not a risk I’m interested in taking.
There you have it. If you’re looking for a guy to actually date (so old-fashioned, I know), swim trunks only please. If you’re already dating and looking to fine-tune his wardrobe, throw out all his obnoxious prints and board shorts. Everyone else, please feel free to hook up with the Speedo/short short/jammer wearing guys out there and report back. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when all they talk about is their dating app matches, muscle tone, and favorite protein powder. Wow, I’m just describing Jordan. He’ll be missed.
Images: Giphy (5)
It’s starting to get warm again, y’all, and you know what that means. It’s time to start having sex outdoors. If you’re rolling your eyes and picturing sand in unmentionable places, bear with me. There are plenty of places to have sex outside that do not involve the ocean’s toilet (aka the beach). Obviously, you’ll want to start spending some time outdoors now, because you probably forget what the sun looks like. But I for one am not particularly interested in dragging all the outside dirt/sweat I pick up day drinking in Williamsburg home to my only slightly food-stained freshly pressed sheets. And you shouldn’t be either. Stop wasting the lovely spring weather with boring indoor sex. Here’s where you should be hooking up instead.
Private Boat
I want to be very clear here that I have never had sex on a boat. I am irritated with myself for even suggesting a boat, because I’m now in a tailspin of sadness about the fact that I’ve never acquired access to a personal boat, and probably never will. Boat-wise, I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. Also, if there are motion-sickness concerns when banging in a boat, I don’t know about them. All that is to say, proceed with caution.
Anyway, a boat seems like the ideal place to have outdoor sex in so many ways. (Specifically, a sturdy boat capable of fitting 5-10 people comfortably.) You’re on the water, which is key for Titanic role play, and also privacy. Also, literally everyone feels sexier and more alive while out in the ocean, so you have that going for you. And since boats are basically a condo for the ocean, you get all the comfort/cleanliness of indoors while being able to multi-task sex with perfecting your tan.
Be more like Rihanna. Have sex on boats.
Cabana
Poolside, oceanside, I don’t care. The important thing is that there’s a nearby body of water. This will both make you feel summer-y and tropical, and the aforementioned nearby body of water should serve as a nice cool-down after. There should also be some level of seclusion/a mattress. Ideally, you’d pull a Kristen/James on Vanderpump Rules and find a private poolside, or just wait until 4am. If it isn’t clear yet, I’m not one of those savages who enjoys the “thrill of being caught.” I used to burst into tears if my teachers called on me—you can’t reverse that type of shy.
Important disclaimer: If you’re staying at a large resort (especially one with a family-friendly vibe), please don’t do this. Having sex in one of the 65 cabanas lining the pool will only end with a soundtrack of screaming children, and probably two new additions to the sex offender registry. At that point, you’re better off just pitching a tent on the beach (LOL puns).
Not directly related, but Dean and Kristina certainly just had sex in this pool, right?
Hotel Balcony
This list has started sounding less like places to have sex and more like places Jordan Belfort does drugs. I’m sorry! I understand these are not all feasible, but you know the alternatives. And public, crowded outdoor places are just not going to be where I recommend you have sex. So, if you’re taking a vacation this summer and staying in a hotel, try for a room with a balcony. Or if you meet a hot guy on vacation—after taking all necessary precautions to assess that he’s not a murderer and allowing several girlfriends to track your iPhone location—and he has a sick suite, go take advantage of that. Hotel balconies give you the advantage of being able to duck quickly back indoors, typically involve some gorgeous views, and make you feel wildly adventurous without really posing a risk.
Cabana rule applies here: If there are multiple in a row, you’ll be in too much contact with your neighbors. Also, it should go without saying but the only sex you should be having on hotel balconies is standing up and from behind. No way are you sacrificing your view (and, potentially, your life) to turn around and perch up on some ledge.
Your goals for this summer:
If you absolutely insist on having sex some place where your risk for arrest is high, at least listen to the following advice. Do not have sex in public pools, which are filled with more filth than you ever want to think about, let alone literally open yourself to. Do not have sex directly on hot sand, if you value your skin or that of your partner. And if you absolutely have to have sex in the bathroom of whatever establishment you’re frequenting, at least see if there’s a nicer bathroom down the block with less of a line and/or chance someone puked in it in the last hour. Everyone involved in the situation will thank you.
Images: Giphy (3)
It’s summer so naturally large bodies of water—be they natural or man-made, pool or ocean—are dotting our summer outings. But like, what if you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/fuckbuddy feel the need to get freaky? Is it safe? Will you get some kind of flesh eating bacteria? We did the dirty work (like, literally and not so literally) of looking to find the answers for you across the interwebs (and my phone probably has a virus from that video I accidentally watched). So before you, uh, get wet (SORRY) this summer, read our tips about pool sex for a healthy, safe, and hopefully fun time.
1. You Will Need Lube
Alright now that we’re all uncomfortable, let’s dive right into this shit. It may seem stupid, but being in or underwater can actually reduce your body’s natural lubrication system which makes sex, er, not awesome. Try a silicon-based lube to avoid chafing. Obviously any water-based lube isn’t going to work as it’ll wash off. And speaking of which…
2. You Can Still Get STDs
I’m not sure what idiot would think you CAN’T get an STD once you add water, but, surprise, you can. If you don’t use lube, your chances of STDs and STIs goes up, since the chances of (I’m really sorry this is gross) tears to your vaginal or anal wall are much greater. Yeah, I threw the anal in there for you freaks out there. Kisses. Just a note—if you’re planning on using a condom in the water (hooray for safe sex) it needs to be put on OUT of the water and taken off out of the water as well.
3. Don’t Trip
if you’ve ever had shower sex, you know that firm footing is imperative. Same goes for your hot tub or pool endeavor. Make sure you and your special water-time friend have firm footholds before all the lunging, pushing, shoving, wtf-ever. Obviously, when it comes to a pool, the shallow end is going to be the best spot for this. Take cover, children.
4. Infections Abound
Hey it’s everyone’s fav part of sex—infections! Unfortunately, having sex in ANY body of water (pool, hot tub, ocean, lake) puts you at risk for some super gross infections including our favs—yeastys and UTIs. So like, just know that going in. Maybe just try some foreplay in the pool, and take the dirty dirty inside where it’s clean and dry—like a kitchen counter!
5. Don’t Break The Law
Soooo if you weren’t aware, sex in any form in public is super illegal. So, keep the underwater banging to your own backyard, the pool of a frenemy, or the hot tub of his ex. Teehee!
READ: 8 Vagina Myths You Should Have Stopped Believing Like, Yesterday
It’s officially summer in NYC and I know this not because I’ve been outside doing things in this beautiful weather but because I’ve been living vicariously through people and their rooftop Snapchats while I continue to binge watch Schitt’s Creek. That and I can legit smell the tanning oil from my windowless cell office. And with summer being in full swing, so too are the Instagram thots. It’s like every summer they find new and creative ways to test my limit for extraness sanity with their Instagram photos. Pool floats for summer? Groundbreaking. Slutty one piece? Girl, you are a fucking trendsetter. Just once I’d like to see some originality something that wasn’t pinned on their summer mood board first. Sighs. That being said, there are some summer trends that are better than others. As in, some that are v betchy and will earn you a coveted like from my Instagram account of less than 500 followers (coveted, I tell you) and some that will make me internally scream while scrolling through my feed.
Since July 4th is rapidly approaching I thought I’d take a moment to educate the masses on what trendy summer items you should not fucking bring to your Fourth of July Instagrams plans, lest you be shamed in my group chat later. *takes deep, calming breath* K, let’s get started shall we?
1. Pool Floats
If I see one more girl Bambi posing on a plastic donut in the world’s most beautiful pool (side note: where are you finding these pools?? I can barely find a tree in my neighborhood and you’re finding pools?) talking about how much she loves to eat donuts I will lose my goddamn mind. This is one trend that I cannot WAIT to see go. The feeling I get when I see this trend is how I felt when unicorn frappuccinos made their blasphemous debut on the coffee scene and I started suffering from rage blackouts wanted to report everyone on my newsfeed sporting one of those monstrosities to Instagram HQ for being personally offensive to me. Or, like, whenever Ariel Winter posts on her IG. Case in point:
Me:
It’s just like that. I’m assuming these girls think that by lounging on an inflatable slice of pizza it makes them look fun and quirky like they’ve eaten a slice of pizza. But the only girls I see posting these #DonutGiveAF Instas (clever) are people with two percent body fat. Like, let’s be honest here, Courtney (I’m assuming someone who lounges on a donut float has a name like Courtney). You have a membership to SoulCycle that you actually use and you haven’t so much as sniffed a carb since 2012. I’m not buying your bullshit, BYE. Suffice it to say, pool floats are done, they’re over. It’s time we get more creative with our poolside Instagrams, thx.
2. Boho Flash Tats
Boho flash tats aka a way for basic bitches to feel edgy because nothing says “I’m hard core” like a rose gold arrow pointing to your side boob.
Tbh I was into flash tats once upon a time but then I realized I don’t have daddy issues and it was time to retire them. Like, unless you’re at a bachelorette party wearing a shirt that lets everyone within a 20-foot vicinity know you’re single and alone a bridesmaid OR doing casual drugs at a music festival then it’s unacceptable to wear that shit in public. Seriously, if I see you wearing a gold tribal tattoo at a rooftop next Tuesday you’ll 100% end up as internet fodder. You know, assuming I’m not blackout. It’s 50/50 at this point so may the odds be ever in your favor.
3. Rosé
It hurts me to say this, but apparently rosé is done. It’s canceled. People went batshit with my favorite summer beverage and started buying it in six pack cans *shudders* and wearing it as a deodorant and now we have to put a stop to this shit. Lord, Jesus, why must you test me? I haven’t been this disappointed since Mikala and Cameron broke up on Are You The One? So basically I’m devastated. But like the jean skirt that I refused to throw away and that has been waiting in the wings sitting in my closet for the last eight years, I’ll be ready and waiting for its triumphant comeback. Just like the jean skirt. Which I am currently wearing.
4. Small Round Sunnies
If I catch you sporting small round sunnies at the beach this Fourth of July you are immediately moving to my shit list. And by shit list I mean the savage group Snapchat I’m a part of, duh. I mean, I’m sorry but are you Vanessa Hudgens a Disney star desperate for followers? Is “trendsetter” listed as your career on your resume? No? Then take that shit off. It’s not that this is a particularly heinous look or anything, but it’s just that while you might think you look like Selena Gomez in a FIRE music video you’re really sending off Elton John-in-his-prime vibes.
5. Retro High Waisted Bikini Bottoms
One pieces have officially replaced high waisted bikini bottoms as the summer swimsuit of choice and thank fucking god for that. Tbh I always thought those things just looked like giant diapers on people. I get that it’s supposed to cover your problem areas or whatever but you know what else covers up those insecurities? Alcohol. It’s a tried and true solution and idk why we stopped using it in the first place. So leave the high waisted swimsuit bottoms in your mother’s closet along with the mom jeans and ironic bowling shirts that all the hipsters are trying to make happen. Next.
6. Polaroid Cameras
You can blame Taylor Swift for ruining this one for us all, along with Tom Hiddleson and her Fourth of July bash (or as she calls it, #taymerica… #killme). Polaroid cameras used to make your shitty rooftop in your shitty apartment in Brooklyn look less like “a scene out of Divergent” (a direct quote from a friend of mine who lives a v mature life in the Upper West Side) and more like a cool, eclectic place to live. As if your salary could support you living literally anywhere else. *sips wine* But then Taylor Swift came on the scene and took a beautiful thing and cheapened it. Suddenly what made you cool and unique is now something 14-year-old girls use to document their trips to the mall. And this is why we can’t have nice things. Tbh it’s probably for the better because anytime I see a Polaroid I’m reminded of this:
Ugh. Now, if you need me I’m just going to be living my best summer life vicariously through Instagram. Kisses!
Memorial Day Weekend is one hell of an underrated holiday. It kicks off the start of summer, you can eat all the hot dogs you want (which should be zero), and you’re daging until whenever it is you finally pass out, because day drinking is really fucking exhausting. Basically, it sets the standards for what this summer will bring. Will you throw up over the side of the boat? Or will you hook up with that guy you’ve had your eye on since college? It really can go either way and what you fucking wear is like, so important. Whether your plans involve partying on a motherfucking boat or reuniting with friends and family you haven’t seen in forever, your outfit needs to make one hell of an impression. Don’t show up to the BBQ wearing the same denim shorts and white crop top as the girl next you. You need to show everyone you are only getting hotter with each day and you are not a basic bitch (we both know you are but, just pretend, okay?). This is like, the pregame to Fourth of July but that doesn’t mean you need to wear a sparkly headband or face paint the fucking flag on your face to fake it. What are you, like, 5?
Wear these trendy AF things this weekend (yes, MDW is this weekend—plan accordingly with your shipping choices) so you can look somewhat patriotic and hot when you’re drunkenly chanting “U-S-A” and pretending to give a shit about ‘Murica.
6 Shore Road Yacht Club Dress
Instead of your typical short summer dress, go for one with a little length. The flowy dress is a lot of fun and makes for a perfect Boomerang on Insta. Pair with small wedges and an all white denim jacket if it gets chilly out. The back comes together with two small adjustable bows, and anything with bows is a winner in my book.
Draw The Line Crochet Top
Bring boho vibes with a crochet top and a pop of yellow in between some red, white, and blue. Keep it low-key with distressed high waisted denim shorts, white flip flops, or your comfiest sneakers. Wear fun earrings to add some attitude, a chic choker, and you’ll be shotgunning a beer with the guys in style—just please don’t say you’re “one of the guys” or that “girls are too much drama”.
Heartloom Willow Romper
Make it sexual and flirty with a crisp, white off the shoulder romper. Bring in other colors by pairing with a red clutch, red earrings, and blue heels. Just keep in mind that rompers are all fun and games until you have to pee and next thing you know, you’re naked on the toilet. If you drink enough, you won’t care eventually.
TAVIK Chase One-Piece Swimsuit
Hide your shish kebab bloat with a plunging color-blocked one piece. Wear a patriotic swimsuit you can get away with wearing during anytime in the summer. Add a floppy hat, strappy sandals, and funky sunglasses for a complete ‘Murica look.
Pistola Star Spangled Cut-Off Denim Jacket
Wear this frayed denim jacket over an American graphic tee for a casual, street style look. Pair them with white or red shorts, low-heel sandals and a striped crossbody. America, fuck yeah.
American Flag Sheer Poncho
This is for the girls who think it’s cute to wear an American flag like cape. Um, hello? This isn’t Halloween. You’re not Captain America—leave that to your drunk persona. Opt for a kimono or poncho that does the same thing but looks cuter and won’t have your uncle accusing you of disrespecting the flag when you post a pic of your outfit on Facebook. Throw over a distressed denim mini skirt or your bathing suit. Before the night is over, grab a sparkler and take a picture for the ‘gram. This is really Insta-worthy.
Half Boho Bandeau In Tribal Print
Instead of an obnoxious headband with like, fireworks falling out of it, find a red, white, and blue patterned wrap that has multiple uses. Wear it as a bracelet, scarf or a fucking bandeau if you want. This boho hair wrap is going to be the next scrunchie, just watch. I’m going to say I fucking told you so.
Lastly, after you figure out wtf you’re wearing, dress your beer in a cute drink sleeve because even your drink has to look good too. Score major brownie points by bringing cute drink floaties to share. Now, everyone will be able to play swimming flip cup in the pool, thanks to me you. #MakeAmericaDrunkAgain.
Life is hard when you want to go to the beach looking like a Victoria’s Secret model without having to do anything at all. This would require a change in diet (i.e. no late-night pasta and hourly weekly shots of vodka), which is something I’d like to say I want to do, but I don’t. It would mean putting on a ridiculous amount of makeup, where it would just become socially unacceptable to go to the beach at that point. No one wants to be that asshole who clearly is trying too hard to look good at a family beach. Everyone and their mother knows you look like a fucking idiot if you come to the beach with a fucking smokey eye. Like, please do so much less. Winged eyeliner says “I’m getting fucked up tonight,” not “I’m trying to get so tan that I start to look racially ambiguous”. A full contour is cool and all, but not worth getting an uneven tan over. You would think this is common sense, but apparently some people need a reminder. Ladies, it’s really times like these where the saying “less is more” is crucial to understand. If you want to pull off a convincing “I woke up like this” look with the most subtle makeup, here’s how:
1. Sheer Foundation
Obviously before you do anything with makeup, put some sunscreen on first. If you’re one of those lucky bitches who doesn’t have to wear foundation, don’t. If you must, though, use a powder-based or sheer foundation that enhances your natural glow. NARS Sheer Glow Foundation eliminates the appearance of dark spots, evens out your skin tone, and leaves a light, satin finish.
2. Beach-Inspired Contour Palette
Instead of having to find individual shades, Becca has done it right yet again. The limited edition Sunchaser Palette came just in time for summer 2017. The hues are inspired by a sun-kissed glow from a day at the beach. Lightly blush your cheeks to give the illusion that you may (or may not, no one has to know the truth) have burned your skin. Use a minimal amount of bronzer, but again, just a little. Remember, that’s the sun’s job. Finish off with a gorg shimmering highlighter to really step up your glow game.
3. Neutral Eyeshadow
We aren’t going to use any purples, blacks, or hot pinks because this isn’t a night at the club. Too Faced Natural Eyes Neutral Eyeshadow Palette has all the colors you need to pull off an effortless natural look. Start with a light nude, applying a slightly darker brown towards the outer edges of your eyes, and finish with a light shimmer towards your inner eye. Using a light shimmer will make your eyes look brighter and bigger. Although the girl next to you will assume your eyes don’t naturally glitter, the hot guy you flirt with won’t notice a thing (because he doesn’t even know what eye shadow is). That’s all that really matters, right?
4. Layers And Layers Of Mascara
Your not-so-natural-but-natural look means nothing if you don’t have the most volumizing waterproof mascara. Even if you’re slightly convinced you don’t have any lashes at all, the smallest ones are nothing the Lancôme Hypnôse Waterproof Mascara can’t fix. By like, the third coat (maybe four for good luck), your sultry lashes will be batting the lenses of your sunglasses in no time.
5. Lip Gloss
Instead of a lipstick, go for a gloss to keep your lips looking full, shimmery, and hydrated. Pick a color that lies in-between a nude and pale pink. Soap and Glory’s Sexy Mother Pucker Lip Gloss comes in a bunch of natural-looking colors, so there’s bound to be several you’ll fall in love with. It’s also lip plumping so you’ll achieve that pouty look guys love without having to go full Kylie.
Read: The Sexiest One Pieces That’ll Still Hide Your Winter Weight
