There are a lot of random workout trends and weird body goals that go in and out of style, but in 2017 everyone wants a good butt, no questions asked. I mean, ever since it became acceptable to go out in leggings and to wear bikinis that are made with less material than your red string bracelet from Birthright, the butt has really taken its place as one of the most important body parts. With summer coming up, the clock is fucking ticking, so get off your ass and get it toned and perky in time. Do each of these seven moves for 45 seconds each, then repeat the circuit another 2-3 times total for a kickass workout, pun intended (and the only acceptable occasion to use the word “kickass”).
1. Goblet Squats
Goblet squats sound scary, but they’re just regular squats that you’ll do while holding a kettlebell for added weight. We’re not hating on bodyweight squats, but you’ll see results so much faster while holding a heavy weight, so why do 500 normal squats when you can get a perkier butt by doing like 20 weighted ones? Exactly. Stand holding a kettlebell at your chest (15-40 pounds) with the horns facing downward. With your weight in your heels, squat down until your hamstrings are on your calves and remember to keep your chest and head up to avoid hurting your back. Pause for a second at the bottom, then come back up while squeezing your butt to activate your
thot powers muscles.
2. Split Squats
Split squats are different than conventional squats because they focus on your right and left sides individually, so you can hit every part of the muscle. This move actually looks more like a lunge, but they really target the bottom of your glutes, so you’ll feel them tomorrow morning. Stand with your right foot forward and your left foot behind you, with both knees bent. Dip downward, bending your legs into a 90-degree angle, trying to get your back knee to touch the ground. Then, come back up by driving through your heel. Alternate reps on each side, and remember to keep the front knee in line with your front foot. Add a weight in your hands if you’ve got it down.
3. Kettlebell Swings
Kettlebell swings are one of those exercises that can be done SO wrong if no one explains what the fuck you’re supposed to be doing. First of all, this is a LOWER BODY movement, so if you feel yourself using your arms too much, you’re doing it wrong. You’re supposed to feel it in your butt. The idea is to grab a heavy kettlebell (25-50 pounds), and place it on the ground in front of you. Hinge your hips and lift the bell up, hiking it in between your legs so that it’s basically touching your butt. Then, swing the bell forward with your hips, making sure it stays above your knees on the way up and swings to chest-height. Then keep swinging in that same motion from between your thighs to your chest. If you find it easy to swing it that high up, get a heavier kettlebell. Your ponytail should be a hot mess by the end of the 45 seconds.
4. Single Leg Raises
Single leg raises might actually be the single best exercise to make your butt perk up like, three inches. Make sure you take your time on these, because it’s not a fucking race. Start by laying on your back with both feet on the ground and your legs bent. Raise your hips up to the sky, like you’re in a bridge position in fourth grade gymnastics, and then point one leg up while keeping the other bent. Dip your butt up and down for 10 reps, then hold at the top for 10 seconds before you switch sides. Remember to squeeze your butt to really use your muscle. If you’re not feeling the burn and you feel like you’re just humping the sky, you’re not doing it right, and it’s pretty embarrassing and everyone is judging you.
5. Sumo Jump Squats
Tired of the word squat yet? Spoiler alert: too fucking bad. They work. These squats are amazing because they target your inner thigh area while getting your heart rate up, so you’re toning your butt and burning calories at the same time. Start in a regular squat position, but with your feet turned outwards, like an awkward ballerina. Then, squat down, and when you come up, add in a hop, keeping your feet turned outwards. Keep jumping as much as you can without stopping. You should feel the burn on your inner thighs pretty fast.
6. Donkey Kicks
These might sound like a weird sex move, but they’re actually an amazing toning move that targets the muscles in your thighs and butt, so stop being so skeptical and start kicking. Start on your hands and knees with one leg straight out behind you with your knee at a ninety-degree angle. Press your leg straight up, and alternate sides. Once you do regular reps on each side a few times, pulse the leg upwards for 10-20 seconds. If your shoulders get tired from being on your hands, switch to your forearms and/or do some fucking arm workouts and stop being such a weakling.
7. Star Jumps
The star jump is a cardio move, which means you’ll be ending this workout by jumping and sweating. Don’t cry yet. The idea is to get your heart rate up while working your butt and your inner thighs at the same time. Start in a narrow squat with your feet together and hands in front of you. Then, explode up into a high star-shaped jump, separating your legs and arms in the air and then bringing them back together as you land in that same narrow squat. Make sure to actually separate your legs while your jumping, or else you’re defeating the purpose of the move. Good luck walking up the stairs tomorrow.
Even though spring is technically here, it’s still cold AF and the thought of going outside to get to the gym is painful enough to put any human in bed for the night with two bottles of wine and enough takeout to feed a large family.
As much as you don’t want to work out right now, warm weather will show up when you’re least expecting it and you’ll be completely unprepared. Like, you never know when the universe may call upon you to wear shorts again. Maybe today, and maybe the day after it will blizzard. Are you prepared? Luckily, we’ve compiled five moves that will work your whole body without any gym equipment required, meaning you can do them all while standing next to the heater in your room, and all your wine will be nearby for an immediate post-workout reward. Do each move for 45 seconds each with a 15 second break in between each one, then repeat the whole circuit 3-5 times in total. Stop making excuses and get to work.
1. Push-Up To Mountain Climber
Push-ups are mainly meant to build upper-body strength, but adding in a mountain climber will give you a cardio boost while getting your legs and core involved too. Start by doing one push-up. In a plank position, (or on your knees for newbies), place your hands under your shoulders and lower your body until your chest is about to touch the floor, and push back up. Then, run your knees into your chest for 6 reps, keeping your hands still over your shoulders. Keep this pattern going until time is up.
2. Star Jumps
Star jumps sound relatively easy, but you’ll feel the burn within seconds if you’re doing them right. The idea is to get your heart rate up while working your hip abductors, which is a fancy way of referring to your inner thighs. You’ll also work your arms by making a star shape with your body as you jump. Start in a narrow squat with your feet together and hands in front of you. Then, explode up into a high star-shaped jump, separating your legs and arms in the air and then bringing them back together as you land in that same narrow squat. Keep jumping until your downstairs neighbors complain.
3. Plank Shoulder Taps
After all those jumps, you probably hate us, so let’s channel that energy into getting super toned shoulders and a six-pack. The plank shoulder tap is exactly what it sounds like, and it’s a great move to work your core and your shoulders at the same time. Start in a high plank with your hands on the floor underneath your shoulders. Make sure your core is tight and you’re not channeling too much weight into your legs or feet (tip: squeeze your butt.) Pick up your right hand and tap your left shoulder, then repeat on the other side. Alternate for the full 45 seconds. If you find yourself swaying your hips or wobbling from side to side, separate your feet for more stability.
4. Lunge Squat Lunge
This move is all about the lower body, so the goal is to burn out your legs and butt. You should feel this tomorrow. You’ll be alternating between lunges and squats, so you’ll start by lunging toward your right side, then squatting facing frontwards, then lunging toward your left side. The key to an effective lunge is to keep your upper body straight with your shoulders back and relaxed. Step forward with your leg and lower your hips until both knees are bent. The goal is to touch your knee to the floor, or get it about an inch above. Then, squat down, keeping your butt behind your knees, like you’re sitting down on a chair. If you’re feeling energized and you know the movements well, you can add a hop in between in each one to make it harder.
If you’ve ever done a high-intensity cardio class or read any one of our fucking exercise articles, you’ve probably done burpees, and you know the struggle. Burpees are so torturous because they work your entire body and burn more calories than any cardio machine out there, so let’s get ‘em done. Start by standing with your feet shoulder-width apart and your arms at your sides. Then, lower your body into a squat and place your hands on the floor in front of you, jumping your feet back so that you’re in a plank position. Once your body is in a straight line, lower your chest to the floor and then bring it back up as quickly as you can. Then, jump your feet forward, outside of your hands, and jump up with your arms in the air. You’ll def feel these tomorrow, but keep it up and you’ll look unreal by the time it’s actually nice enough to be that girl who shows up to the gym in a sports bra.