As you all know, going to work is the actual worst. Like, I have to wake up hours before my body naturally wants me to, all so I can go to a job just so I don’t die of starvation. Life is hard. It’s not just getting out of bed that ruins my day, but the fact that I have to put myself together enough to look like a functioning human. I wish we could all just give up the pretenses and allow sweatpants in the office. Personally, I think it would make everyone happier, and happy employees just don’t
shoot their husbands do crappy work, right? Right. Like, I’m not even washing my hair on most days (thank you, dry shampoo) and I don’t think there’s been a Monday (or Tuesday, or Wednesday) that I haven’t showed up super hungover. Obviously, I reserve all my effort for looking good when I actually have the chance to see people I care about—Linda from HR, you do not count. So, here are some office looks for less that’ll make you look like you actually tried for once. Employee of the month over here.
Some of these office looks for less are inspired by my favorite era, and some are just inspired by the stuff I happen to have in my closet at the time. In any case, none of these outfits will cost your entire paycheck, so you can thank me for that. And, obviously, you’ll still look super cute in case you need to impress the cute guy in sales or whoever. And for more advice on what (not) to wear to work, buy our third book, When’s Happy Hour?
Has anybody else noticed that, despite the fact that Meryl Streep won a Golden Globe for The Devil Wears Prada in 2006, designers have still basically just given us florals, pastels and chiffon tank tops for the 12 spring seasons that have happened since? Like, hello? Why haven’t you guys noticed that we pretty much only wear black during the other nine months of the year? What makes you think we’re going to squish our still-not-ready-for-summer bodies into a pair of floral cigarette trousers? Well, it appears that in the same movement that has allowed female comedians to almost be able to get a laugh for talking about their periods, we’ve finally been blessed with a spring trend that doesn’t look like it belongs in a mall Easter Bunny photo set. I present to you: spring plaid.
You’ve probably already seen spring plaid on the tan Australian microinfluencers who dominate the Instagram Explore tab. Here’s how to wear it this spring without looking like you’re rocking a last-minute schoolgirl Halloween costume. Oh, and side note, we’re not talking about gingham here. If you don’t know the difference, you’re going to have to take to Google. I do not have the patience.
Go For Lighter Materials
One of the biggest differences between a pair of plaid pants for winter and a pair of plaid pants acceptable for spring is the material they’re made with. Obviously, for spring plaid, you’re going to want to go for something lighter and more breathable. Most trousers with a jogger look should do the trick.
Zara Checked Jogging Trousers
Choose Unexpected Colors
Try to stay away from winter colors in your spring plaid. If it looks like something your mom would force you to wear in a Christmas card with your siblings, *Randy Jackson voice* it’s a no from me, dawg. Yes, I realize that the last time it was okay for us to wear pink plaid, we were shopping at Limited, Too. Luckily, choosing this print in brighter and lighter colors isn’t just for third graders and Playboy Playmates anymore. This pink plaid set is v cute for spring.
I.AM.GIA Polaris Top
Dress Down A Plaid Skirt
Everyone kind of already has this skirt, and I’m pretty sure I’m already sick of it, but let’s throw it on this list anyway. It’s kind of like shit with embroidered roses. It felt tired almost a week after the trend emerged, but everyone is obsessed with it, so we all just embrace it and agree to wear it for a few more months. Just like, drop a line in the group chat and call dibs on wearing it before brunch so nobody matches you. Dress this down for spring with a graphic tee or a very basic top.
River Island Check Frill Front A-Line Mini Skirt
Take Advantage Of The Paper Bag Waist Trend
If you haven’t ever tried on bottoms with a paper bag waist, you def should. It’s like, the most flattering thing ever. If you work somewhere with a business or business casual dress code, this is how you can basically get away with wearing the next best thing to sweatpants. You’re welcome.
Topshop Check Wrap Paperbag Mini Skirt
Channel Your Inner Cher Horowitz
Silhouettes that are really obviously designed for warmer weather, like mini dresses, won’t have anyone wondering if you’re making a statement or just too lazy to bring your spring clothes out from your under bed storage. Duh.
Tiger Mist Sadie Dress
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