Non-Corny Dating App Openers That Are Better Than ‘Hey’

I’m going to be honest, I was never a dating app user for myself. Although, I did pretend to be a few of my friends on their apps and talk to people for them. From that, I know it’s v stressful trying to find the perfect non-corny dating app opener. When the apps first came around, it was helpful to be female since chivalry is not dead (I think?), and the guy tended to message the girl first. But then Bumble came around and f*cked that all up, so here we are. I asked my friends who are avid dating app users about what they consider to be non-corny dating app openers. Take notes, since a bunch of them are in long-term relationships now.

1. Keep It Simple

One of my good friends considered herself a “serial swiper” before she met her current boyfriend on a dating app. What did he say that swept her off her feet? “Hey, how’s it going?” Sometimes simpler is better. A pro tip from her is to not include the person’s name you are messaging. For example, saying “Hey Amanda, how’s it going?” seems a little too forced.

2. Keep It Classy

I once got a message on Facebook from a rando saying he “wanted to eat my p*ssy like a sandwich.” I’m sorry, but who would ever think that pickup line would work?! But then one of my friends suggested starting a message with “wanna f*ck” … so she’s still single. Maybe I should set the two of them up. Anyway, people need to remember to only say things on an app that you would say to someone’s face. So keep it classy and not trashy. It’s 2018, we’re respecting women AND men. Try something like, “How was your weekend?” or even, “I want to learn more about you, let’s play two truths and a lie. You go first.”

3. Use Humor

Someone who is funny is a major turn-on for me. It shows they don’t take themselves too seriously and can have fun. Another friend suggested as an opener, “Do you like Shrek? Cause I’m head ogre heels for you.” This non-corny dating app opener gets the person laughing and the conversation started. But be careful with this one, it can go from 0 to 100 real quick if you don’t use your better judgment and come off as a creeper. Another good option is asking them a question they need to respond to. Try “What are you doing on your ideal Sunday? Working out, sleeping, or bottomless mimosas?” And then if they answer the first option, you can call the authorities. Another one would be to ask them to describe themselves in 3 emojis, that always gets a good response. Stay away from these bad pickup lines that we’ve written about before.

Game of Thrones Pick-up line

4. Use Their Profile To Your Advantage

Don’t pretend you haven’t stalked their profile extensively and searched their Facebook, Instagram, and Googled them. But don’t make it obvious. They have a dating app profile for a reason. Start the convo off by relating to the cute dog in their photo or their favorite movie they shared in their bio. Make it personal and relatable. By doing this, you get the conversation started right away without the pointless fluff that makes up the majority of the messages sent on these apps. Suggested message: “Hey, is that your dog in your photo or just one you borrowed to increase your matches?” or “I’ve never seen (insert their favorite movie here). Maybe we could watch it sometime.”

5. Plan A Date

So many dating app convos go nowhere since no one takes the initiative to meet up for a legit date rather than just a one-night stand. Stand out from the crowd and use your convo as an opportunity to ask him or her out. TBH this one works best if you both know “of” each other (aka have mutual friends) and aren’t just two strangers because stranger danger is real. But think of something specific and personal. If you know they love a certain band (from your extensive stalking, obvs), and they are playing in your town, ask them if they want to go with you. Another way to ask them out is by first asking them what their perfect date would be and after they respond, ask them if they are free later in the week.

Asking Out

And if you still need more help, check out this list for more non-corny dating app openers.

Images: Giphy (2)

How To Respond To The 7 Most Common Fuckboy Pickup Lines

Catcalling is the basic bitch of trying to pick up girls. But just because you’re not getting yelled at on the streets by a stranger doesn’t mean you won’t run into some lame pickup lines while you’re at a bar or literally anywhere where bros hang out. They will try, and they will fail. If you get one of these terrible pickup lines tried on you, here’s the best way to respond.

1. Does Your Boyfriend Know You’re Here?

Ugh, this one is creepy and sexist and heteronormative, because he’s basically asking you if you’re single by implying you have a boyfriend. Now he expects you to either tell him you actually don’t have a boyfriend, which would sound like you’re into him, or tell him you do. Either way, whether you’re single or not has nothing to do with the fact that you wouldn’t want to date him anyway. Typical fuckboy, to respect a non-existent boyfriend more than he respects you. If he asks you this, just reply with another question, “Does your mom know you left your basement?” and don’t engage with him anymore.

2. If I Buy You A Drink, Are You Going To Ditch Me Right After?

He’s trying to get trigger the “I’m not like most girls” reaction, but you know better. If girls ditch him after he buys them drinks, it’s probably because he sucks. And he just saved you a shitty conversation by letting you know that. Tell him, “How about I buy myself a drink and you ditch this pathetic attempt to talk to me.”

Burn

3. What’s Your Sign?

This one is just bad game, and I’m not really sure if people actually ask this outside of bad sitcoms, but at least he’s not being a fuckboy. He’s probably just an awkward guy or a middle school boy, but if he’s cute and you want to talk to him, you can flirt back with him with something like “why, are you trying to steal my identity?” because you don’t actually want to talk about your horoscope sign. If he’s not, just tell him “whatever one’s least compatible with you”.

4. Did It Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?

Cheesy pickup lines are for pickup artists, because if he was a normal dude he’d just say hi to you. No matter how charming he seems, he probably does this all the time. Just shove him and say “oh shit, my cover’s blown” and then run away.

Run Away

5. I Usually Don’t Do This, But I Just Had To Tell You That You’re Beautiful.

He thinks that by giving you a compliment you already owe him something. Plus, any guy who says “I usually don’t do this” is really trying to say “this is what I do all the time”—just like how after every one-night stand you say “OMG I like, never go home with random people!” Just start freaking out and saying “I have NEVER heard that before, wow, that is crazy I can’t believe you just said that” as if this is the first time you’ve ever been complimented. Eventually he’ll get creeped out and leave you alone.

Beautiful

6. I Bet We’d Have Great Sex.

Online dating has made guys say dumb shit like this like it’s the new hello. It’s like, obviously you’d have great sex, because you’re just good at sex so all sex with you is great. That doesn’t mean you’re going to have sex with him. Just reply “Too bad I’m not into gamblers” and definitely watch your drink until he leaves.

7. You Must Be Tired, Because You’ve Been Running Around In My Head All Day.

Interesting, because you’re about to run away from him. Tell him, “oh you mean like this?” and run around him until he gets dizzy, then tip him over like a cow and walk away. That’s called a quick bar workout.

What type of fuckboy should you date based on your horoscope? Find out here!