The internet continues to collectively lose its sh*t over Pete Davidson and Kate Beckinsale and their 20-year age gap. They’ve been mum about their relationship status—our only non-paparazzi confirmation is Beckinsale coyly clapping back via Instagram comments. So, like, how the hell did this happen?
I’ll admit it: I’m charmed by Scorpio and SNL regular Pete Davidson—Ariana Grande’s infamous tweet confirming his BDE might have something to do with it. If BDE (“Big Dick Energy” for those of you living on a limited data plan in your mom’s basement) isn’t one of the first things you think when you hear Scorpio, you’re either lying or you’ve been jaded by one.
Let’s recover our jaws from the floor and ask the actual hard-hitting questions (because what kind of astrologer would I be otherwise?): Will it last? Is she a rebound? Are their birth charts actually compatible—or is BDE all to blame?
View this post on Instagram
Not to make this a competition, but Ariana grande literally got Tiny Barbecue tattooed on her hand . . . . . . . #petedavidson #petedavidsonandarianagrande #petedavidsoncomedy #arianagrande #arianators #snl #petedavidsonsnl #katebeckinsale #goldenglobes #peteandariana #tinybarbecue #celebrityculture
Hello, Sexual Tension
Astrologically speaking, there’s blatant tension with this pair. Kate’s a Leo, the zodiac’s over-the-top attention-seeker and a fire sign, and Pete’s a Scorpio, a more silent, brooding, mysterious water sign. Leos and Scorpios are both known for being stubborn af—not exactly what you’d call a match made in heaven. Take J.Lo and Diddy for example—the ultimate Leo-Scorpio mash-up, and a totally sexy flop.
The Leo-Scorpio couple oozes sex—they’re passionate and fiery. After the first one-night stand—er, first date—the sexual tension is palpable. It’s easier to bang away our differences than talk about them, right? And while this makes for serious foreplay initially, turns out that’s not what sustains relationships. (Contrary to popular f*ckboy belief. But, I digress.)
So while it’s fair to say Pete and Kate are enjoying some raunchy Cruel Intentions-level sexcapades right now, over time the glaring differences in their personality could be a source of conflict. But when comparing their birth charts, the screenshot of where all the planets were in the sky at the exact moment you were born, it’s easy to see what led the pair to give it a go beyond the BDE.
There are serious healing contacts between some of the planets in their birth charts that could cause each of them to feel that their meeting is fated. One in particular has to do with an ancient asteroid, Chiron, that represents our deepest wounds that we carry with us through our lives. Interesting things can happen when Chiron intersects with certain planets, namely Venus—the planet that rules our style of love. (Basically Venus is that Love Language book that every sorority girl was obsessed with in 2010.)
Pete’s Chiron coincidentally links up directly with Kate’s Venus. The connection between these two personal points reveals a massive potential for healing love-related wounds, and unparalleled common ground for understanding each other’s expression of love and past hurt. Yes, you guessed it: this is the perfect rebound aspect. They feel drawn toward one another and recognize a potential healing connection.
Thank U, What’s Next?
While the duo is likely basking in a period of seriously hot sex, with a dash of mind-blowing emotional intimacy, we’re all wondering how long this is going to last. Keep your eyes on the tabloids around February 19, when there’s a full moon in Virgo. Kate happens to have her love planet in the sign of Virgo. The full moon is going to be lit af for her love life.
Don’t care about the Kate Beckinsale/Pete Davidson relationship publicity stunt.
IS HIS SHIRT WHITE OR BLUE??
This is the new Yanny vs. Laurel and the blue/black vs white and gold dress pic.twitter.com/VIi2VVz9KU
— AL (@MissSchliez) February 2, 2019
If anyone can tame and charm a Scorpio, it’s the queen of the Underworld franchise herself. But remember, full moons bring about completed cycles, sudden change, and, often, endings. It’s a make-it-or-break-it milestone. The pair will either make it more official, or they’ll split. Regardless, both will have a life-altering, sensitive point in their charts activated. And for that, they’ll be so thankful.
Images: Shutterstock; misschliez / Twitter; sluttypuffin, the_nri_times / Instagram
It’s been over four months since Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande’s whirlwind romance rocked our world, which means they’re now one of the longest lasting couples in Hollywood. But actually, it seems like things have been going well for them, even in the wake of Mac Miller’s tragic death. There have been endless paparazzi photos of them together, and we can never forget all of the iconic Instagram posts. But that doesn’t mean everything is perfect.
This week, Pete Davidson went on Howard Stern’s radio show, and of course, Howard asked lots of questions about Ariana. When talking about Pete’s decision to take a break from social media, Pete revealed that he’s received death threats due to his relationship with Ariana. Let me just use his exact words: “I got a death threat. Someone wanted to shoot me in the face because she’s so hot.”
Okay, so obviously this person is unstable, but also, it made me notice that Pete calls Ariana hot in literally every single interview. And it made me think: why? Is there anything else he likes about her? Like, of course, Ari is hot, but she’s also funny and talented and adorable and yes I’m a big fan if you couldn’t tell. Let’s take a look at some of the language Pete has used about Ariana because I for one think it’s questionable.
Let’s start back in June when Pete and Ariana were all over each other’s Instagrams. After doing their typical “I love u more” “no I love u most” “rawr that means ‘I love you’ in dinosaur” high school PDA fest, Seth Rogen commented, “Guys seriously.” Pete responded to Seth with the following comment:
“when ur getting married to the hottest girl in the world you tell me how you’d act.”
This was the first moment that caught my eye and made me wonder: if I blindfolded Pete Davidson and locked him in a room and asked him what he likes about Ariana Grande, could he come up with an answer other than “she’s hot”?
Now, here’s what Pete had to say when he did a Q&A at Auburn University when someone asked what it’s like being engaged to Ariana Grande:
“It’s like what you would think it was like but like a 100 times sicker. It’s f*cking lit. I’m a very, very lucky boy and very, very loved and I’m very lucky. My d*ck’s forever hard.”
Okay, so obviously the last part is meant to be crude and funny, and Pete is a comedian so I’m not even that mad. But I do find it weird that he doesn’t even say anything else of substance. Saying “sick” and “lit” over and over again doesn’t convince me that you know your fiancée on a deep spiritual level.
In the Howard Stern interview, Pete had lots to say about his relationship, and a lot of it is really TMI.
“I was jerking off to her before I met her.”
Um, ew? There’s nothing wrong with masturbating, and I’m not, like, surprised. But that’s just kind of a gross thing to say about the woman that you’re marrying. Can I get some brain bleach?
“Any time we’re intimate, I’m always apologizing and saying thank you. I swear to God. I’m like, you’re awesome for doing this, thank you so much.”
Okay, Pete, you are LITERALLY ENGAGED. Clearly, homeboy has some deep issues with his confidence and self-esteem. Or this is just like, a very weird joke? Like, you shouldn’t think this way about a random hookup, let alone someone you live with and who has already agreed to spend the rest of their life with you. I’m a fan of their relationship in general, but hearing him talk this way makes me so uncomfortable.
After scouring Pete’s interviews, I think I found the deepest thing he’s said publicly about Ariana. It comes from his August cover story for Variety:
“I can’t even put into words how great of a person she is. I could cry. She’s the f*cking coolest, hottest, nicest person I’ve ever met.”
Wow, not a dry eye in the house after that one. Yeah, he still says how hot she is, but did you know that she’s also cool AND nice?? I hope someday, someone talks about me like this. #goals!!!
So congrats to Pete Davidson on landing a woman who is decidedly hot. Maybe he should work on finding some more specific qualities he likes about her. Ariana deserves it! In other news, SNL premieres this weekend. And I’m eagerly waiting to see if they make any reference to Pete and Ariana’s relationship. I need it!
It’s now been over a month since Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande
met made the commitment to spend the rest of their lives together, and they somehow have not gotten any less extra. We’re still being treated to grainy Instagram photos and cryptic tweets about their relationship, and honestly, I’m still fascinated. So far, these two are the gift that keeps on giving, from copious amounts of questionable tattoos to epic social media clapbacks. No matter how ridiculous this relationship is, I’m IN.
That being said, it’s been a few weeks since I updated you on all the important happenings in Pete and Ariana’s relationship, and that’s really too long. Let’s get caught up, shall we?
1. The 9/11 Necklace
I’m kind of immune to the tattoos at this point, but Pete’s recent gift to Ariana is…serious. Pete’s dad, Scott, was a New York firefighter, and he tragically died on 9/11. For the past 17 years, Pete has worn his dad’s necklace with his badge number on it, and this week he gave it to Ariana. It’s intense, but sweet. What’s truly weird is that, in the past, Pete had several replicas of the necklace made, and gave one of them to Cazzie David! Yikes!!! It seems like a pretty big diss to Cazzie that they dated for like, two years and she only ever got a replica, while Ariana snagged the real thing after, like, seven minutes.
2. The Tattoos
Yeah, did I say I was over the tattoos? Guess I lied! This week, Ariana debuted two new tattoos dedicated to her mans, because of course she did. The first one, on her foot, is Pete’s dad’s badge number. Again, that’s intense, especially considering Ariana has never met Pete’s dad. But his memory is obviously very important to Pete, so it just shows her level of dedication. Right? Right.
Sidenote: I know I’m not a hero (in the conventional sense), but I’d just like to put it out there that when I die, please just cremate me and take some shots in my honor. No one needs to get a tattoo.
Ariana’s other new tattoo is kind of cute, but I’m still gonna roll my eyes at it. She got “pete” in tiny cursive letters on her ring finger, and I honestly don’t hate it. Really, I don’t hate any of these tattoos, I just don’t understand why there have to be so many of them! Also, can we just appreciate how pretty Ariana’s jewelry is? Truly goals.
3. The Hair Swap
I’m rounding out this update with something that is not real, nor is it something Pete or Ariana actually did, but it just brings joy to my life. The genius that made this Photoshop of Pete and Ariana swapping hairstyles is my favorite person in the world, and also Ariana would absolutely slay with this haircut. I love these crazy kids.
honestly ? not too fuckin shabby pic.twitter.com/1gMzmtXurX
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) July 19, 2018
Images: @petedavidson / Instagram; @nail_swag / Instagram; @arianagrande / Twitter