October used to remind everyone that there are other climates aside from violently hot, but we are already two days in and it is 88 motherf*cking degrees outside. Not to worry, though, Global Warming is totally some really elaborate and well-executed prank by China, everyone! Anyway, hopefully October will stop feeling like the inside of an oven sometime soon, because Netflix just added a plethora of amazing new content and I want to be able to binge without feeling guilty about never going outside. When it’s hot out, I feel like I should be tanning at the beach, swimming in a lake or drinking on a rooftop. You know, just enjoying the great outdoors. When it starts getting chilly, as it is supposed to do in October, I am pretty content laying in bed with some SkinnyPop and a solid queue on deck. If this sounds like a great way to spend every night of the week, keep reading for our top new Netflix picks for October.
Because I always arrive exceedingly early to movies, I was able to see the trailer for the new Charlie’s Angels starring
the most random cast ever Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott and Ella Balinska, and I have to admit, I’m not impressed. Am I wrong for being loyal to the OG girl gang? Even though the jokes were corny af and the special effects were the definition of amateur hour, Charlie’s Angels was and will always a masterpiece that should have stayed in the early 2000s. If you need reminding, the original and Full Throttle will both be gracing Netflix in October, so do yourself a favor and give it a watch.
I’m getting aggressive nostalgia vibes with Netflix’s new lineup, because Ocean’s 13 is finally here. Matt Damon, George Clooney, and Brad Pitt? I wasn’t old enough to appreciate these smokeshows when the movie came out in 2007 because I was too busy obsessing over Jesse McCartney, but now, as a 26-year-old woman with taste, I am all for this trio in Hollywood’s most epic fictional heist. If you were also too young to understand the plot when it premiered during the simpler time that was 2007, watch it now because it’s the kind of amazing that only these three foxes could serve. It’s also the third and final movie in the Ocean’s trilogy, so even though it marks the end of an era, there’s always the female reboot of Ocean’s 8, which came out last year. Obv not as good because it’s not the same without Clooney, but I’m all for a cast of badass bosses making Anne Hathaway look like a f*cking idiot.
‘Peaky Blinders’ Series 5
On a very long train ride, I stumbled upon the show’s Instagram account and, I have to say, Cillian Murphy looked damn good. So I spent the remainder of the train ride watching the entire first season, and I’m not mad about it. The British show follows the exploits of the crime-ridden Shelby family in a post-World War I England. The family is actually based on a real gang who called themselves, you guessed it, Peaky Blinders, which has got to be the cutest gang name I’ve ever heard. The show is really good and feels like a cross between Downton Abbey and The Sopranos. If that didn’t pique your interest, I don’t know what to say to you.
‘Schitt’s Creek’ Season 5
I am very behind on this show, so I wish I could be as pumped about the fifth season as some of my coworkers are. Even with my limited exposure (I’m on season 2), I can tell it’s amazing. It’s the kind of show you can quote endlessly. I put this on when I need to chase a scary movie with some witty banter, or when I’m painting my nails and want some background noise. Also, if you’ve ever seen Best In Show, the couple who owned the terrier is in Schitt’s Creek! They’re also essentially playing the same characters minus the dog, so, there’s that. Highly recommend this show if you need a laugh or are in the mood for something made in 2019 that isn’t a sh*tty remake.
The only word to describe Penelope Cruz in Blow is “goals.” Like Peaky Blinders, Blow is based on a real gang and a real event, but that’s about the only thing these two productions have in common. Blow, as the name indicates, zeroes in on American cocaine smuggler George Jung, and his time spent doing business with the Medellin cartel. As you can imagine, things didn’t go well for our boy George (played by Johnny Depp). Penelope’s character ends up marrying George, but the two do not live happily ever after. For those mad about spoilers, you’ve had 18 years to watch it, so sorry, I’m not sorry. This movie reminds me of a more romantic Sicario, so do with that observation as you will.
‘The Time Traveler’s Wife’
Not to be that person, but the book is significantly better than the movie. The Time Traveler’s Wife is f*cking sad, so if you’re in the mood to drown in a pool of your own tears, put this sobfest on. I feel like the title says it all, but if you’re unfamiliar with the plot, here it is in one sentence. Regina George meets her future husband when she is a child and he is a full-grown adult, but their marriage problems are a little worse than most because he travels through time unexpectedly. Even though it sounds painfully cheesy, it’s actually great and Rachel McAdams’ performance is reminiscent of a slightly older Allie Hamilton, but with her sh*t together.
‘Haunted’ Season 2
Truth be told, I do not watch this show because I have the fear management of an infant, but if you’re into scary sh*t, you’ll like this show. Netflix says, “This reality series, which comes from the producers of The Purge and Lore, provides viewers with a chilling glimpse into first-person accounts of supernatural events.” Yep, I will not be watching this since I couldn’t even make it through the preview of The Purge.
I saw this movie by myself in a theater because the girl I was supposed to see it with got into her first fight with her boyfriend as we were standing in line to purchase our tickets. Unfortunate circumstances aside, I still loved this movie because Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart have some seriously steamy chemistry. The movie is a classic rom-com with a tiny sprinkle of untimely death, so you will laugh and you will cry. Head chef at a swanky New York restaurant, Catherine Zeta-Jones is your typical no bullsh*t perfectionist whose world gets turned upside down when her sister dies and her niece becomes Catherine’s responsibility. Great movie that I highly recommend for a night in with Pinot.
‘Shine On with Reese’ Season 1
Horrible name, but our favorite mini human Reese Witherspoon gave into the public’s demand and started her own talk show! She only interviews women, which I am definitely down for, and she does a fantastic job. Her guests are also super varied, so get ready to hear from people like country music icon Dolly Parton and Spanx founder Sara Blakely and everyone in between. Why didn’t she start doing this decades ago? I would have definitely watched an early 2000s Reese interview America’s fiercest female leaders.
‘Living with Yourself’
The only allure of this show is the fact that Paul Rudd is in it. It hasn’t come out yet, but the trailer looks a little suspicious to me. According to Wikipedia, LWY “follows the story of a man who, after undergoing a mysterious treatment that promises him the allure of a better life, later discovers that he has been replaced by a doppelgänger.” I mean, minus the doppelgänger part, this sounds exactly like the plot of Deadpool. Tell me I’m wrong.
A few goodies saying goodbye in October include, Julie & Julia, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Pineapple Express and The Carrie Diaries: Seasons 1-2, which honestly doesn’t sound like a huge loss to me. we’ll be busy enough with the new shows and movies to cry over Pineapple Express leaving.
Images: Thibault Penin / Unsplash; Giphy (10)
If you were watching the Oscars last night and were trying to figure out how these people show up looking fucking flawless, join the club. Celebs obviously have to be abnormally skinny and good-looking by default, but like, at what cost? I mean, don’t get me wrong—Emma Stone looked pretty decent in Lala Land, but professionals are paid to edit that shit.
What in the Steve Harvey happened last night? Read our Oscars recap!
We wanted to know what kind of prep goes on before the red carpet, so we did some research into the glamorous lives (and weird diets) of Hollywood’s elite. If you thought stars were actually just like us, think again. Here’s what the celebs do to get ready for the red carpet:
1. They Get Their Faces Shaved
This is not a joke, and it’s not a mistake that some 6th grade girl made because she was too scared to ask her mom for a wax. Celebs literally get their faces shaved before the red carpet and the treatment is technically called Dermaflash. Apparently, by getting rid of some excess peach fuzz and exfoliating your skin, you get that extra fresh glow that “flashing” provides. J.Lo and Jennifer Garner were both spotted getting their “flashing” done at the Beverly Hills Hot Springs and their skin is unreal, so like, we’re trying not to judge.
2. They Get Their Cheekbones Accentuated
We’ve been getting facials before events ever since our middle school graduations, but when it comes to award shows, celebs go to specific professionals who know how to literally manipulate your face to look better on camera. There are specific pros in LA that will only take nominees’ appointments on the day of the Oscars. For example, celeb fave Joanna Vargas is known for her Oxygen Purifying Facial, which uses medical-grade oxygen to erase dull skin and create finer lines to get your cheekbones to look like they’re popping out of your face. Goals, right?
3. They Get Blood Injected Into Their Faces
Botox appointments are just as regular as teeth cleanings in the celeb world, but when it comes to the Oscars, the regular injection doesn’t make the cut. Celebs like Kim Kardashian swear by the “Vampire Facial Lift,” which literally injects blood back into your face by using platelet rich plasma. Apparently it helps make your eyes look wider and your skin look super rejuvenated, and results are immediate. BRB, throwing up.
4. They Wrap Ice Cubes Onto Their Faces
A few days before the show, celebs are having this funky ice concoction wrapped onto their faces. Dr. Nigma Talib, an LA-based naturopathic doctor, works with stars before the Oscars through “icing” their faces. Icing is a process meant to de-puff your face, make your pores more refined, and take away any redness in your skin. She mixes together cucumber water, aloe vera juice, turmeric root, and water into a blender, and then freezes the liquid in an ice tray. Once they’re frozen, she wraps the ice cubes in a washcloth onto their skin until it’s all melted. Sounds pretty unpleasant and it’s probably freezing AF. Aren’t they cold enough from dieting all year-round?
5. They Put Jellyfish On Their Faces
This is another treatment that is super trendy right now in Hollywood, and it sounds like a high school bio experiment we decided to ditch. The jellyfish mask is made from jellyfish collagen, which is supposed to hydrate and firm your face to give you a youthful glow on camera. I don’t even wanna know how much this absurd treatment costs, but you couldn’t pay me to stick a jellyfish on my face. I know it makes you look good, but there are Instagram filters that do that too. We will be doing a follow-up analysis on if anybody ever has to have their face peed on if this treatment goes wrong.
6. They Cut Out Sugar, Gluten, Dairy, & Booze
Try telling a waiter that you’re sugar-free, dairy-free, gluten-free, and you don’t need a cocktail menu either. Celebs like Kate Bosworth, Penelope Cruz, and Sienna Miller follow this no-fun diet for weeks leading up to the Oscars, and it sounds pretty brutal. The worst part is, they probably can’t even complain about it because all their famous friends are on the same fucking diet. I just hope they at least get shitfaced at the afterparty.
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