It’s been almost seven months since Kim Kardashian got robbed in Paris, and she’s finally talking about it. Well, she’s been talking about it for a while, including the entire episode of Keeping Up about it, but she’s finally ready to do TV interviews about it. Our girl Ellen DeGeneres got the first interview, and honestly it was pretty interesting.
Ellen is the master of getting people to talk about things they might not want to—*makes mental note to invite Ellen over next time I confront my boyfriend for doing something shady*—but Kim clearly came prepared to tell the whole story so Ellen barely had to do anything. Kim talked about how the robbery has made her way less materialistic, and that she “knows it was meant to happen” to her. I’m happy Kim is alive and well, but come on, that has got to be the epitome of “shit rich people say.” Like, when I had a string of armed robberies in my apartment complex (#Atlanta), it didn’t make me “less materialistic,” but it did make me pay more attention to my surroundings at all times, never walk around with headphones, and always carry my keys wedged between my index and middle finger in case I needed to do a quick stabbing. Were those good life lessons to learn? Definitely. Would I have much preferred to learn those things without living in fear I’d get a gun shoved in my face in my parking deck? You fucking bet!
Don’t get me wrong, we’re glad Kim learned a lesson from that horrific experience—which we wouldn’t wish on anyone BTW—and we’re not mad that her Instagram has transitioned from flashy jewelry pics to grainy 1970s-style photographs. But like, Kim thinking she was “meant to” get robbed because she was materialistic is a whole Pandora’s box of victim self-blaming, which I’m not even gonna open right now. But whatever, I guess we all deal with tragedy in our own way.
In the interview, Kim talked about how she doesn’t really wear jewelry anymore, which makes sense tbh. She says she’s now a better role model for her kids—her sharp decline in thirst trap photos supports this statement—and that she views her whole life in a different way. She started to cry right on cue, and we can just imagine Kris watching gleefully as the crowd ate it all up. Behind every well-orchestrated TV interview, there’s a high power Momager pulling the strings.
We can’t believe we’re saying this, but at this point Kim might be the most down-to-earth member of her family. (If you’re wondering, it used to be Rob before he made it clear that Eggos were more important to him than his own daughter.) Kim seems happy and the most normal she’s been in basically…ever. How long will it last? Probably until the next time E! needs a ratings boost, so approximately seven months from now.