I never realistically thought I’d be saying this in 2018, but things are really going well for Lindsay Lohan right now. Lindsay has had something of a renaissance this year, suddenly becoming relevant after years of mostly being a joke. She’s reinvented herself as some kind of European/Middle Eastern businesswoman over the past couple years, which is obviously better than being passed out in the back of cabs. This summer, her club in Mykonos really took off, and now we have a reality show because of it.
Really, I’m so thankful for this moment. Yesterday, we were blessed with the first trailer for Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club, which premieres January 8th on MTV. Now, I definitely think they could’ve come up with a slightly more creative name for the show, but at least it’s descriptive. In the trailer, we don’t see a lot of what’s actually going to happen on the show, but instead we get a nice voiceover of Lindsay talking about how people always gave her sh*t for going to clubs, so she opened her own. Same, girl! At the end of the trailer, Lindsay asks if we missed her, and if your answer is anything other than a hard yes, please see yourself out.
The big question in the show will be who the other randos in the cast are, which could make or break the whole thing. The show will feature a “handpicked team of young and ambitious VIP hosts who will have to do whatever it takes to secure Lohan’s name as the definition of vacation luxury,” so I just really hope these psychos will bring the drama as much as the Vanderpump Rules cast.
Also on Monday, PAPER magazine dropped the digital cover of their “Break The Internet” issue, also featuring Lindsay Lohan. As you’ll recall, Amanda Bynes was given the main cover for the issue, which is fine. The photoshoot of Lindsay Lohan, however, is f*cking everything I’ve ever wanted in this life. Someone at PAPER had the glorious idea of featuring Lindsay as various Disney princesses, and it’s both hilarious and fierce at the same time. My whole life as a celebrity-obsessed gay man has been preparing me for these photos.
Please scroll through these photos, because each one is better than the last:
Hear that sound? That’s the sound of my soul leaving my body upon seeing Lindsay Lohan as bedazzled escort Cinderella. I’m obsessed. Lindsay might not have been included in the “thank u, next” music video (and she seemed a little thirsty about it), but this is definitely the next best thing.
Luckily, we only have to wait one more month for Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club to premiere, and I can’t wait to see how much of a sh*tshow it’ll be. Get ready, because Lindsay Lohan is back and just as delusional as ever.
Images: @lindsaylohan / Instagram (2)