So we’ve crossed the threshold of acne, aren’t quite to the magical land of wrinkles, and are smack dab in the middle of oil world. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still get tons of pimples in my 20s, but my major skin issue rn is how f*cking oily my face is. It sucks, and if you’re anything like me, you probably go through between three and 18 oil blotting sheets per day, and makeup slides off your face no matter the season. It’s a terrible time in a betch’s life, and it must be stopped. First, we must understand our enemies. Then we can defeat them. Here are some of the weird reasons your skin is oily and like you got smacked in the face with bacon. (Just me, then??) Read on to find out a few unexpected reasons your skin is oily and what, if anything, you can do about it.
SURPRISE, SURPRISE! It’s our baby-making hormones here to f*ck your life up once again. Basically, being on the pill, being off the pill, being pregnant, having your period, almost having your period, and everything in between can wreak havoc on your skin. Your sebaceous glands go into overdrive when our hormones are out of whack, which is one of the reasons your skin is oily as the most recent BP oil spill. Yay. Combat it with like, I guess not being female? Moving on.
If you haven’t put together the fact that your cheese habit is causing you to break out, then maybe you don’t deserve clear skin. By the same token, according to Bustle, “levels of testosterone and progesterone—and nearly 60 other hormones—rise in the body when you consume dairy, causing too much oil to build up beneath the surface of your skin.” In other words, maybe it’s time to cut back on those late night milkshakes or glasses of whole milk you’ve been chugging while trying to fall asleep. Which, by the way, can also lead to troubled skin if your sleeplessness is being caused by stress. Guys, this is SO FUN.
3. Not Enough Moisture
Seems totally weird, but it’s truer than my love for overpriced skin products. You need to use a moisturizer regardless of your skin type, period. Basically, if you don’t your skin will freak TF out, be all like, “omg I’m not good enough” and then go f*cking nuts on oil production to make up for the moisture it isn’t getting. If you do have super oily skin, don’t get a thick cream to make up for all this stuff, though. Get a light, oil-free moisturizer with ingredients like glycerin that helps water stay in your skin, keeping oil at bay.
4. The Weather
Finally, I can blame the weather for my skin problems! Praise be. Of course, you’re likely to see a bit more shine when the humidity index is over 100 percent in the summer. But the drying effects of winter can also cause your skin to dry out and, in turn, produce MORE oil to compensate. Combat that sh*t with a good moisturizer created especially for oily skin. Or just live in a bubble and never go outside—up to you.
5. Your Sheets
Please, please, please wash your bed sheets once per week or suffer the consequences. Not washing your sheets is like not washing clothes that you’ve spent 8-10 hours in every day and is so unbelievably disgusting considering the drooling, tossing, turning, boning, and all the other interesting habits that happen under the covers. Do you want your skin to lay in a puddle of drool? That’s probably really good for it, right? Wrong. Make sure you’re sleeping on breathable fabrics like cotton or, if you’re fancy, grab a silk pillowcase that’ll go easier on your skin and help chill out the oil over-production.
6. You Love To Drink
Yikes. BLAME IT ON THE AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-ALCOHOL. But seriously, Arleen Lamba for Bustle says, “when you consume alcohol your heat index rises, which means you actually do get warmer and sweat more.” In other words, maybe curb the drinking for a week or three and see if your oil problem clears up a bit. Chug water, sleep, and eat green things to become a pillar of health and non-shiny skin. Your body is a temple, fam.
Oh, what a shocking addition to this list! Yes, it turns out that stress is a huge reason your skin is oily. Cool. According to Schlessinger for Reader’s Digest, “‘When we become stressed, the level of the body’s stress hormone (cortisol) rises … this, in turn, causes an increase in oil production, which can lead to oily skin, acne and other related skin problems.’” SWEET. So I guess the moral of the story is to not get stressed out, cause if you get stressed out you’ll get greasy and pimply and then, in turn, get more stressed out and the cycle will continue literally until you die, I assume.
Images: Chris Knight, Unsplash; Giphy (3)
I think I speak for everyone when I say there’s nothing worse or more embarrassing than visible sweat. It’s obviously gross, very inconvenient, and like, literally so annoying. Sure, maybe it’s a bodily function to keep us from overheating, but it’s really so extra and unnecessary. Like, yes, thank you for letting everyone in my vicinity know I’m fucking hot as balls by making my face melt. Love that. By noon each day, my face is on its way to looking like a fugly greaseball, and although it feels like I’ve exhausted most remedies, I’m running out of patience to deal with this oily face bullshit. As much as it sucks to have the occasional oily face, it also blows to have to deal with dry skin, even after you’ve gone through bottles on bottles of moisturizers. Since winter is never going away, apparently (on the east coast, at least, so don’t jump down my throat, west coast betches), those of you with mostly dry skin will need a savior ASAP, aka me. Below, I give you everything you need to prevent oily hot messes and dry af cracked faces.
If You Have Oily Skin, You Need: A Good Facial Cleanser
Good skin starts with the shit you’re putting on it. Fucking duh. First things first, check to make sure you’re using the right face wash for your skin. If you’re prone to oiliness, be sure to opt for a cleanser with at least 2% salicylic acid, like Origins Zero Oil Deep Pore Cleanser With Saw Palmetto And Mint. This helps maintain a little oil (but in a good way) so that your skin at least keeps the natural stuff and you don’t end up looking flaky.
If You Have Dry Skin, You Need: Intense Hydrating Masks
Washing your face is great. You’re doing amazing, sweetie, but if you’re prone to ultra flaky skin, you need a hydrating mask to lock in all of that moisture you’re putting on. Not just any hydrating mask, but a super intense one that works immediately and has long-term results, such as Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Overnight Hydrating Masque. Make sure to focus on extra sensitive and thin areas of your face like the eyes, nose, and chin.
If You Have Oily Skin, You Need: A Cooling Facial Mist
Blotting papers are great and all, but going through millions of packs and growing pissed off at how much oil sits on your face clearly doesn’t actually fix anything. To reduce shine throughout the day without ruining your makeup, buy a cooling facial mist or setting spray like Urban Decay Chill Cooling and Hydrating Makeup Setting Spray. Cooling your skin down throughout the day obvs minimizes your pores, which results in far less oily grossness.
If You Have Dry Skin, You Need: More Water
And I don’t mean just chugging it on the regular. I mean, more water-based products, too. Since your face is clearly struggling to keep itself hydrated and moisturized, you’ll need products that are full of good ol’ H2O and designed to lock in necessary oils and hydration, like Neutrogena Hydro Boost Gel-Cream so, you’re not cracking say crack again by lunch everyday.
If You Have Oily Skin, You Need: Oil-Free Everything
This is probs the most obvious of the bunch, but you’d be surprised and utterly disgusted to find out how much of your everyday skincare and beauty products rack up on oil. So goddamn rude. These are the reasons I have trust issues. Make sure you’re using oil-free *everything* such as Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel, BECCA Cosmetics Ever-Matte Poreless Priming Perfector, and Estée Lauder Double Wear Stay-in-Place Liquid Makeup to ensure you’re not contributing to the hot mess that is your face.
If You Have Dry Skin, You Need: To Exfoliate Like It’s Your Job
A big reason why your face is probs dry af is because your outer layer sucks, to say the least. All of your time and efforts aren’t actually getting absorbed as well as they should to last, so be sure that you’re exfoliating twice as much as you regularly would with a gentle scrub like the La Roche Posay Ultra Fine Scrub. This healthy route helps uncover new layers of skin and exposes the new, better layer to the much-needed moisture, water, and hydration you’re putting on it.