I would try to beat around the bush with this one, but given what the headline is, there’s really no dodging it. I’m about to ruin your day, your week, your month, and even your year. On the bright side, this isn’t another article about Trump’s latest fuckups controversial tweet. Instead, it’s about the godawful ways dry shampoo is a scum-sucking road whore. It basically ruins your hair’s life, aka your life as well, each time you use it. I love dry shampoo as much as you, and in fact, I love my dry shampoo’d hair more than what my hair looks like out of the shower. I think we can agree that the volume, bounce, and texture dry shampoo provides is incomparable, not to mention the fact that it allows our lazy asses to skip a long and tedious hair wash routine. However, since nothing ever, ever, *ever* works in our favor, it turns out this shit is bad for you. I know, like, wtf did we do to deserve this? You don’t have to toss out your Batiste or Not Your Mother’s just yet, but I would think twice before using three days in a row.
I don’t think any of us ever questioned just exactly what causes our hair to look so fab after using dry shampoo. As long as we woke up breathing with hair on our heads, it’s fine. But, dry shampoo is actually made of chemicals that aren’t really all that great for our hair. Whether you use it excessively or encounter it for the first time, you could basically develop dermatitis after use. You fucking guessed it—anything that ends with “itis” is a bigger red flag than a “U up?” text. This is a severe allergic reaction that causes intense irritation, which may result in drastic hair loss in the long-term. You’re not, like, guaranteed to lose all your hair if you abuse dry shampoo, but if your hair is already on the thinner side, be wary.
If you really think about it, dry shampoo is just a spray we leave on all day and don’t think about. Naturally. Since it’s just a product sitting on our scalp for hours on end, it’s seriously clogging up our pores. Just fuck me up, honestly. It continues to build up oils, dirt, and bacteria, which then = scalpne (scalp + acne), and since this is your head we’re talking about, the build-up can trail down to your upper forehead where it may wreak havoc as well. *Screams internally*
Before the damage gets to your hair, it starts with your scalp. Since dry shampoo comes into contact with the scalp first, it can cause a v uncomfortable irritation. Overusing dry shampoo by leaving it on for more than a day or using multiple times in a row causes a buildup of grime—even after washing! This leads to a super inflamed, itchy, and flaky scalp. Talk about gross, and talk about hella dandruff. Pass.
As we’ve already covered, dry shampoo is essentially a temporary plug for oiliness. As a result, I’ve already told you like, a million times, that the constant use and buildup of oil and grime leads to clogged up pores. When this happens too often, your hair follicles are basically suffocating and blocked from growing any further. If it gets too severe, your hair will not only begin to thin or fall out, but it will eventually stunt your hair’s growth, and you’ll probs look like a British man. IDK maybe that’s just a theory, but either way, that’s the shit we don’t like.
Contrary to popular belief, if used too often, dry shampoo can actually make your hair way more greasy than it was to begin with. Although it’s supposed to absorb the oil, it continues to absorb the natural kind that our hair actually *needs* and does so while sitting on top of existing grease. After some time, your hair ends up producing more oil than it naturally does to make up for the lack of moisture. End result? Looking like a greaseball more often than not.
If there’s anything that’s disgusting, embarrassing, and a telltale sign that you’ve run out of fucks to give, it’s greasy hair. I get it, though. Showering, especially on hair wash days, is v time consuming. Sure, the amount of energy it takes to actually walk and get in the shower is a lot, but once you’re in there, you’re basically never leaving. Nothing amps up your mood for the rest of the week like freshly washed hair on a Sunday night, when it’s voluptuous, bouncy, and full of life for once. But there’s also nothing more frustrating than waking up the next morning to a fucking grease ball. Like, why bother having hair to begin with? YOU TRIED, DAMN IT. Unfortunately for you, it’s the little things you’re doing on a daily basis that are contributing to the oiliness. Stop doing this shit and maybe for once, you’ll be able to go *three* days without washing (and having it look obvious). You’re welcome.
1. You’re Touching Your Hair Too Much
Similar to what we do to our face, we touch our hair too much. IDK why we do things that we know are really fucking bad for us (like say, IDK weekly binge-drinking?), but we need to stop. Like, yesterday. More often than not, our hands are gross, dirty, and full of so much grime, it’s making me vom. If you’re constantly touching your hair, you’re obvs putting all of that nasty shit onto your hair. This including constantly fixing your part, twirling your hair, or tucking it behind your ears. If you can’t refrain, make sure to wash your hands at the very least beforehand.
2. Overusing Dry Shampoo
Find a happy medium with how often you use your dry shampoo. I know, it’s the best thing ever and since we’re all lazy af, we couldn’t imagine our lives without it, but unfortunately, too much of it works the exact opposite. Overusing dry shampoo leads to gross buildup since it absorbs both excess and natural oils and ruins our hair’s balance to keep it healthy. If you must, use only once a week max (WASH YOUR HAIR, PEOPLE) and use a spray that has little to no residue, like Klorane Dry Shampoo with Oat Milk.
3. You’re Washing Too Often
On top of making sure you’re washing your hair correctly, you can’t *over wash* your hair either. Washing too much ends up ridding your hair of all its natural oil (even the good kind), which in result makes your hair produce twice as much. FML. Reduce to washing it only every other day, or if you’re some sort of magical creature, 3-4 times a week.
4. Using Products That Promise “Shiny Hair”
First of all, why? Second of all, no. If you already suffer from greasy hair all the time, then steer clear from shit that promises shiny hair. Fucking duh. Shiny hair shit is only acceptable if your hair is super dry and probs never ever greasy, in which case, you probably have no need to read this article. These products usually contain an abnormal amount of silicones, which are really fucking bad for your hair and make it 10 times more oily. Instead, use a clarifying shampoo once a week like Bumble and Bumble Bb. Sunday Shampoo, or literally anything else.
5. Brushing Your Hair Too Much And Forgetting To Clean Your Brush
As much as we try to ensure our hair doesn’t end up looking like a rat’s nest by the end of the day, overly brushing your hair can cause your hair to produce more oil than necessary since you’re constantly stripping it of its natural oils. If you can barely remember to wash your makeup brushes, you def can’t remember to clean your hairbrush. If you can’t put time aside to hand-wash your hairbrush as often (and I don’t blame you), be sure to remove all of the nasty, dirty hair that’s piled up. If you don’t, you’re just putting that back on your head every time you brush. Fucking gross, dude.
We all love conditioner. We love it more than shampoo, which is why we probs always run out of it first. However, like too much of anything, too much conditioner is like, really bad for your hair. An excessive amount adds an extra layer of oil and product buildup so your hair is ultimately lame, limp, and lifeless
like your Bumble fuckboy. While it’s good to leave conditioner in for a tiny bit more, make sure to rinse it out just after a minute. Instead of conditioning your whole head, because it’s honestly so unnecessary, only condition the ends.
Images: freestocks.org / Unsplash; Giphy ( 6 )