So while you’ve been out mourning the loss of summer and preparing for your winter
weight cuff, we here at Betches Media have been low-key putting things in motion for the biggest glow-up up since Ariel Winter went from “little girl on Modern Family” to IG thirst trap. That’s right, we moved into a new office, and it is dope af. That’s not even a biased opinion, BTW. It’s like, a peer reviewed study.
For those of you entrepreneurial betches out there who are looking to similarly upgrade your work situation, here’s a walk through of our incredible, aspirational office space. Don’t be too down on your own office, though. Not everybody can have their own golden meme wall, but you can probably find more ways to incorporate Kris Jenner into your professional life.
So without further ado: Hey we’re Betches, and welcome to our crib…
Step 1: Hire A Dope AF Workplace Designer
First of all, we have to shout out LABL Studio, because without them none of this would be possible. They literally designed our office space from scratch, and as you can see, they nailed it. Let’s face it, most betches barely have the time to make their own bed, let alone come up with a chic af office plan complete with millennial pink accent walls and a full bar for after hour office parties late work nights. That’s where LABL Studio comes in. They’ll do all the hard work of making your office look amazing, and you’ll have the pleasure of seeing all your clients, family members, and Seamless delivery guys looking impressed af when they walk through the door.
Step 2: Get A Neon Sign To Tell People WTF You’re About
I mean, can you imagine walking into work every day and being greeted by a neon pink sign that says, “So you agree, you think you’re really pretty?” We can. But that’s because like, we actually. Thanks to Name Glo, everyone who steps foot in Betches HQ is greeted with a Bible verse Mean Girls quote to set the fucking mood for the day. And if you think that’s the end of our neon adventure, think again. Our podcast studio (we have a podcast studio BTW) is decked out with its own amazing Name Glo art, so everybody who sits down to record with us knows exactly what the vibe is.
Step 3: Get Your Drink Sitch Figured Out
Beverages: you’re going to want some throughout the day. That’s why Betches HQ is stacked with both alcoholic and non-alcoholic (believe it or not) beverages for all occasions. Newsflash: staying hydrated is like, important. That’s why we’ve equipped our office with a DrinkPod water cooler and purification system, so that we can stay hydrated without being low-key worried nobody has changed the Brita filter in years. It’s like, basically the reason our skin is so amazing.
Now obviously, the most important part of any office is its coffee supply. That’s why we’ve teamed up with Wandering Bear Coffee to make sure we’re chugging the best possible cold brew to get us through stressful work days/group chats/deadlines. If you ever wonder how Betches are able to produce so much quality content on the daily, it’s because we’re all low-key hyped up on Wandering Bear. Now you know.
Step 4: Frame TF Out Of Everything
And now we get to this author’s favorite part of the new office, aka, our golden wall of memes. Now, everybody who has ever moved out of their college dorm knows that framing things magically makes them sophisticated and adult. Literally. That’s why we turned to Framebridge for all our custom art and photo framing. They took our ridiculously hilarious images and turned them into art just by encasing them in glass. Don’t believe me? Just think about this: a photo of Kate Middleton with a thought bubble saying “No shit. You guys got coke here?” pinned up to a wall with tape? Tacky af. But a photo of Kate Middleton with a thought bubble saying “No shit. You guys got coke here?” that’s actually framed? That’s beautiful art and it belongs in the MoMa. It’s that simple.
Step 5: Get Your Distractions In Order
One of the most important parts of any work day is figuring out how to distract yourself from the work you’re going to be doing. Here at Betches, we installed two 65″ and 55″ TCL TVs, which you know play Mean Girls on loop 24/7. Except on Halloween, when we played Hocus Pocus, or when there’s a Kardashian-related event on the horizon. Either way, these TCL TVs will keep the Betches staff distracted engaged with important pop culture events on the daily, and are basically the secret to our success.
Now, we know that you can’t employ all of these amazing tactics to your own office. Not everyone is as lucky as we are, and it’s just not our fault we’re so popular. But use these beautiful pics as a guide for when you finally launch that dating app for people who hate conversing with others you’re always talking about. Because that’s totally going to happen someday…
Transitioning an outfit from the office to happy hour is a feat that fashion magazines love to act like women will never figure out. Every year there’s a new magic blazer that’s going to hide your scandalous shoulder-less dress during the work day or a skirt that unbuttons to create a slightly more scandalous silhouette. Anyway, pretty much every happy hour outfit solution requires you to buy shit you probably don’t even like or to carry a bunch of stuff to work, and these are two things you should obviously avoid at all costs. Here are a few super easy ways to spice up your work outfit for happy hour. Although let it be noted that in my opinion, basically all of these are plan B. Honestly, I think everyone should just take after Ilana from Broad City and wear crop tops to work. It’s 2017.
Urban Outfitters 18k Gold + Sterling Silver Plated Basic Hoop Earring
You know what they say! The bigger the hoop, the bigger the hoe. Hoops are totally a thing again (moment of silence for Gretchen Wieners), so if you want to feel a little hoe-y for happy hour, obv just throw some hoops on. Urban Outfitters has tons of awesome hoops right now, which I’d totally recommend over investing in a more expensive pair (if you don’t have super sensitive ears) because this trend prob won’t last forever and they’re also not super heavy and uncomfortable to wear.
2. Bold Lipstick
MAC Liptensity Lipstick
I know this is like the most obvious option, but throwing on a crazy lip color before going out will make you look way less office-y. MAC Liptensity comes in like a million (okay, 24) shades that literally don’t come off no matter how many boneless chicken wings you steal off your coworker’s plate by the end of the night.
3. Trendy Outerwear
Topshop Washed Faux Leather Biker Jacket
Fashion bloggers make everything more fashion blogger-y by throwing a leather moto jacket or bomber over it. Seriously, if these betches can throw a jacket over a silk slip dress that looks like your grandmother’s tablecloth and make it fashion, you can pull your fav coat over a simple work outfit to liven it up, too.
4. Casual (But Not Too Casual) Shoes
Vans Women’s Old Skool Platform Sneakers
Obviously I don’t know your life story, but depending on your job, there’s a decent chance you don’t wear Vans or Converse to work most days. Balancing casual sneaks with tailored trousers is definitely a thing right now (thanks, Hadids), so throw some platform Vans in your bag to make your work outfit look trendier. The trick is to make sure to keep them in awesome condition so you don’t look like you’re just tossing on your regular commuting shoes.
Victoria’s Secret Lace Lightly Lined Keyhole Bralette
Again, this isn’t fucking rocket science. In college, you def wore a button down with a slutty bra and a pencil skirt to a CEOs and Office Hoes mixer. Now, those frat boy are finance bros and instead of a lukewarm Bud Light, you can drink an actual drink. Wear a bralette that’s acceptable to subtly show off in public, and pop a few buttons open before you rip into happy hour.