So while you’ve been out mourning the loss of summer and preparing for your winter
weight cuff, we here at Betches Media have been low-key putting things in motion for the biggest glow-up up since Ariel Winter went from “little girl on Modern Family” to IG thirst trap. That’s right, we moved into a new office, and it is dope af. That’s not even a biased opinion, BTW. It’s like, a peer reviewed study.
For those of you entrepreneurial betches out there who are looking to similarly upgrade your work situation, here’s a walk through of our incredible, aspirational office space. Don’t be too down on your own office, though. Not everybody can have their own golden meme wall, but you can probably find more ways to incorporate Kris Jenner into your professional life.
So without further ado: Hey we’re Betches, and welcome to our crib…
Step 1: Hire A Dope AF Workplace Designer
First of all, we have to shout out LABL Studio, because without them none of this would be possible. They literally designed our office space from scratch, and as you can see, they nailed it. Let’s face it, most betches barely have the time to make their own bed, let alone come up with a chic af office plan complete with millennial pink accent walls and a full bar for after hour office parties late work nights. That’s where LABL Studio comes in. They’ll do all the hard work of making your office look amazing, and you’ll have the pleasure of seeing all your clients, family members, and Seamless delivery guys looking impressed af when they walk through the door.
Step 2: Get A Neon Sign To Tell People WTF You’re About
I mean, can you imagine walking into work every day and being greeted by a neon pink sign that says, “So you agree, you think you’re really pretty?” We can. But that’s because like, we actually. Thanks to Name Glo, everyone who steps foot in Betches HQ is greeted with a Bible verse Mean Girls quote to set the fucking mood for the day. And if you think that’s the end of our neon adventure, think again. Our podcast studio (we have a podcast studio BTW) is decked out with its own amazing Name Glo art, so everybody who sits down to record with us knows exactly what the vibe is.
Step 3: Get Your Drink Sitch Figured Out
Beverages: you’re going to want some throughout the day. That’s why Betches HQ is stacked with both alcoholic and non-alcoholic (believe it or not) beverages for all occasions. Newsflash: staying hydrated is like, important. That’s why we’ve equipped our office with a DrinkPod water cooler and purification system, so that we can stay hydrated without being low-key worried nobody has changed the Brita filter in years. It’s like, basically the reason our skin is so amazing.
Now obviously, the most important part of any office is its coffee supply. That’s why we’ve teamed up with Wandering Bear Coffee to make sure we’re chugging the best possible cold brew to get us through stressful work days/group chats/deadlines. If you ever wonder how Betches are able to produce so much quality content on the daily, it’s because we’re all low-key hyped up on Wandering Bear. Now you know.
Step 4: Frame TF Out Of Everything
And now we get to this author’s favorite part of the new office, aka, our golden wall of memes. Now, everybody who has ever moved out of their college dorm knows that framing things magically makes them sophisticated and adult. Literally. That’s why we turned to Framebridge for all our custom art and photo framing. They took our ridiculously hilarious images and turned them into art just by encasing them in glass. Don’t believe me? Just think about this: a photo of Kate Middleton with a thought bubble saying “No shit. You guys got coke here?” pinned up to a wall with tape? Tacky af. But a photo of Kate Middleton with a thought bubble saying “No shit. You guys got coke here?” that’s actually framed? That’s beautiful art and it belongs in the MoMa. It’s that simple.
Step 5: Get Your Distractions In Order
One of the most important parts of any work day is figuring out how to distract yourself from the work you’re going to be doing. Here at Betches, we installed two 65″ and 55″ TCL TVs, which you know play Mean Girls on loop 24/7. Except on Halloween, when we played Hocus Pocus, or when there’s a Kardashian-related event on the horizon. Either way, these TCL TVs will keep the Betches staff distracted engaged with important pop culture events on the daily, and are basically the secret to our success.
Now, we know that you can’t employ all of these amazing tactics to your own office. Not everyone is as lucky as we are, and it’s just not our fault we’re so popular. But use these beautiful pics as a guide for when you finally launch that dating app for people who hate conversing with others you’re always talking about. Because that’s totally going to happen someday…
It’s summer. You wake up in the morning and smoke weed immediately check your weather app to see it’s going to be a very casual 95 degrees. Dope. You put on your shortest lil booty shorts and your cutest tank and head off to work – the office manager can deal with your violations of the dress code later. On your way in you snag the iciest ice coffee, snap a few selfies in the amazing natural light of summer, and wonder if your walk from the train to the office constitutes tanning. Then, disaster strikes. As soon as you step foot into your office building, you suddenly feel like you’ve gone from desert Sahara to Arctic tundra, and you have literally nothing to keep you warm except to heat off your laptop. You run upstairs to your office and immediately dig through your stash of coats, scarves, hats, and mittens. In a matter of seconds, you’ve gone from summer chic to full Eskimo, and you’ll remain that way for the next 6 hours. When it’s time for lunch, you’ll have to take off your many, many layers just to make the trek to your favorite salad bar, and be ready to see your breath again as soon as you step back into the office. Why is every office building like this? Who keeps turning the AC to frozen? Is that permafrost on your desk?
We DK. But if you’re familiar with this feeling, we do know that you’re going to love our latest video. Check it out below:
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