Do you need an excuse to cry about the Obama years? No? You do that already every day before you get out of bed? Well, sorry in advance for triggering you, but The Smithsonian’s Portrait Gallery released Barack and Michelle Obamas’ official portraits today. I’d say it gave me “all the feels,” but I vowed to jump of a bridge if I ever used that phrase so, suffice it to say, they are very good portraits.
The official portraits. Barack Obama by Kehinde Wiley. Michelle Obama by Amy Sherald. pic.twitter.com/xZzBYTJhKn
— Dan Zak (@MrDanZak) February 12, 2018
Ya boy Barack chose African-American artist Kehinde Wiley for his portrait, who is most famous for his works which take famous portraits of old white guys saints and kings and shit, and replace them with black men and women dressed in either hip-hop or African attire. Michelle chose Baltimore native Amy Sherald, who is best known for painting portraits with a “social justice” bent. She wasn’t *supes* famous before now, but much like getting the first impression rose on The Bachelor, we predict getting Michelle’s portrait gig probs means she’ll at least get on Paradise do very well in the art world.
Now if you’ll excuse me. I need to go sit in a dark room and try to remember a time when seeing the president’s face didn’t make me scream, “Oh my god how is that even a face!?” at anyone who will listen.
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In the real-life nightmare that is the year 2018, there isn’t a day that goes by where we don’t wish Barack and Michelle were still living in the White House. I mean, saying goodbye to Obama was hard enough, but losing the best First Lady of all time was literally painful. Michelle Obama is hands down the betchiest First Lady ever (Sorry, Jackie) and she was prob one of the only First Ladies that didn’t actually hate her husband. Aside from the fact that she has the best arms and somehow looks good with bangs, Michelle moved into the White House, immediately got a puppy, and started one of the most iconic eras in FLOTUS history. It’s Michelle’s birthday today, so we’re rounding up our fave Michelle moments to celebrate this woman. I mean, let’s not forget she was literally Barack’s supervisor before they started dating. Case closed. Let’s get started.
1. Her Carpool Karaoke
Michelle’s Carpool Karaoke segment with James Corden is one of our all-time favorites, and it’s really not because Missy Elliot decided to crash half-way through. First of all, the fact that Michelle is in this video at all is huge. Like, do you think Laura Bush would have ever made a cameo on a Carpool Karaoke video? The answer is no. Also, let’s just acknowledge the fact that Michelle sings every word to Stevie Wonder’s “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” and Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies.” Like, are we just gonna ignore the fact that she probably has both of their numbers on her phone? She’s so modest. She even slips in an endorsement for her Let Girls Learn initiative to educate girls in third-world countries. Insane.
2. Her Push-Ups On ‘Ellen’
The fact that the First Lady was on Ellen at all was basically unheard of before the Obama era, but now that we’ve established how cool they are, we’re not surprised Michelle killed it on one of her appearances on Ellen in 2012. She talks about her 5:30am wake-up to work out for an hour and a half every morning. Every. Morning. Are you kidding? I do one SoulCycle class on a Sunday at noon and need *at least* a week to recover. Ellen and Michelle start doing push-ups, and Michelle flawlessly does like, 10 more reps than Ellen. The best part is that when the audience counts 25 push-ups, she goes “I just stopped” like she could’ve gone all day.
3. Her Photo Shoot with Meryl Streep
There are really only a few women in the history of mankind that should be remembered as badass role models for future generations. Susan B Anthony…. Gloria Steinem…. Olivia Pope… Maybe even Blair Waldorf in the early seasons. The point is, Michelle and Meryl Streep are literally at the top of that list, and the fact that they did a photo shoot together in Vanity Fair is life-changing. I mean, they actually went to Africa together to work on their joint education initiative, so I guess you can say they had a more productive Christmas break than you ever will.
4. Her Advice at Glamour’s Event
A couple years ago, Michelle attended Glamour magazine’s The Power of an Educated Girl event in NYC, where she sat on stage next to Charlize Theron and literally gave the best advice on education I’ve ever heard, and I like, went to college. She told all the girls in the room that “there is no boy at this age that is cute enough or interesting enough to stop you from getting your education.” I’d like that written on my tombstone.
5. Her Hangouts With The Miami Heat
One of Michelle’s most iconic moments obviously had to be when she invited to the Miami Heat team to the White House. She first filmed a video with them to promote her healthy eating initiative where she literally dunks on LeBron James, and then they filmed an even better mannequin challenge video that kind of made the whole trend okay to partake in. Not to compare the two, but I’m pretty sure the only guys Melania has brought into the White House so far have been her makeup artist and whoever installed her Christmas decorations. Just saying.
6. Her Lack of Sympathy for Melania Trump
Speaking of Melania, Michelle appeared on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert before the 2016 election and told him she has no sympathy for Melania for having to stand next to the president. She told him, “If I didn’t agree with what Barack was saying, I would not support his run, so I stand there proudly and I hope they are too … so no sympathy!” The thing about Michelle is that she’s so composed and modest that she’s not even rude about Melania. Like, Colbert literally brings up the time when Melania plagiarized Michelle’s speech and asks if she’s sympathetic toward what has happened to her, and she just sarcastically replies, “Yeah…. That was tough.” Well played, Michelle. Well played.
7. Her ‘Parks & Rec’ Appearance
How can we forget about the time Michelle made an appearance on the Parks & Recreation finale? Michelle has made TV appearances on a few different shows over the years, but seeing her on Parks & Rec was epic, mostly because we don’t care about any of the other shows. Her appearance was only like 30 seconds and all she did was say a couple lines and high-five Amy Poehler, but it was epic to see her on the show and she killed it, as per usual.
Michelle, we miss you.
It might feel like a thousand years and about 100 nuclear war-related panic attacks ago, but the United States used to have a president named Barack Obama, and he was cool AF. Equally cool was his First Lady, Michelle Obama, who you may remember for her crazy life choices, like actually living in The White House and not openly hating her husband. It’s hard to recall, but it was actually just three months ago when we had a President who didn’t keep his tie held together with tape, and a first lady who didn’t literally shudder at her husband’s touch.
So look, Barack and Michelle have been #relationship goals for a long time now. Whether it be Obama tearing up while talking about Michelle in his final address to the nation, making cute faces at kids during the Easter Egg roll, or dancing romantically while Beyoncé personally seranaded them with “At Last” at his first inauguration, these two have done a lot to make us all look at our own cuffing season hookups and say “Yeah, this isn’t going to make it to summer.” And since retiring from what is quite literally the hardest job on Earth, Barack and Michelle have embodied the “work hard play harder” mentality by going on a series of lavish vacays with all of their A-list friends, making the weekend getaway to Rehoboth beach you and bae have been planning for months look like a couple’s wisdom tooth extraciton by comparison.
Since January, The Obamas have been spotted relaxing in Palm Springs, kitesurfing in the Virgin Islands with Richard Branson, dining at NYC’s hottest restaurants, and now, casually posing for Instagrams on a yacht.
That’s right, a photographer snapped a pic of Obama snapping a pic of Michelle on a yacht (like ya do) and the internet is officially freaking out:
Obama taking a fire pic of Michelle with his iPad is everything I needed tonight pic.twitter.com/8bb5oRQWkH
— Rosa [email protected]ón (@therealescandon) April 17, 2017
That’s right. While you’re out here stressing over North Korea and just tryna get a text back, Barack and Michelle are happily married for over 23 years and giving literally no fucks on yacht. Their biggest problem these days is making sure the iPad focuses right and the lighting is good. And here I am trying to explain to my boyfriend that in order to take a good pic of me in front of the sunset, you have to angle the camera DOWNWARD, not upward displaying my 17 chins. And if you’re wondering, wtf are Barack and Michelle doing alone on a yacht? They are not alone. Because unlike you and the annoying-ass fuckboy you’ve been getting in public fights with seeing for three months, Barack and Michelle have no shortage of people who want to hang out with them. Their yachting friend group includes billionaire David Geffen, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Hanks, and possibly Oprah. Damn. So let’s get this straight, Barack Obama became the first black president, saved the global financial market from collapse, passed the first meaningful healthcare reform in American history, and is 50% of what may be the best couple of all time?
Honestly, not fair. Next thing I know you’re going to tell me that Malia made it through her whole gap year without ever being ghosted, or that Sasha is actually making it work with Ryan Reynolds (after she turns 18, of course).
Okay, BRB while I start a fight with my boyfriend that I say is about his poor text etiquette but is really just about the fact that we are not Barack and Michelle.
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Since leaving office, Barack Obama has stunned us all with both his vacation and fashion choices. While we all watch as the new administration descends into a fashion abyss (Kellyanne Conway’s nutcracker outfit will give me nightmares for years), the Obama family has been making us miss them more and more by coming correct to every single photo opp available. Like, who can forget the photo of tan Obama windsurfing? There should be a painting of that in the White House TBH. I mean, once the current administration is out of power, which could be any day now (please?). Now, as far as fashionable Obamas go, Barack was always last on the list, not through any fault of his own but just because boring man clothes were never going to compete with the perfection that was Michelle Obama, or the I’m-A-Cool-Girl-President’s-Daughter style of Sasha and Malia. A suit, no matter how well tailored that suit may be, was just never going to compete with Michelle Obama dripping with white feathers, or Sasha and Malia in Coachella chic. It just wasn’t going to happen.
But since leaving office (ugh don’t remind me), Barry O has been able to shed the suit game in favor of some far more fashionable options, and the results have been stunning. We examine these choices below:
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Today, on this date, the world will go up in flames. At the very least, metaphorical ones. As Barry and his BFF Joe throw up the deuces to the White House, Michelle Obama and her strong arms follow suit. And we, as a nation, will miss out on all of Michelle’s hotness. Because if there’s one thing both parties can agree on, it’s this: Michelle Obama is a babe.
Besides always going high when they go low, Michelle Obama also always went like, really pretty. Over and over again. In fact, the FLOTUS rarely missed a beat when it came to her vibe, so it was pretty hard to narrow down her best looks. Whatevs though. I tried. In honor of her leaving the White House forever—only to be replaced a confused Slovenian robot—here are the FLOTUS’s top beauty moments.
