Like blue cheese, people either f*cking hate or love New Year’s Eve. I, for one, fall into the latter category, even though it’s kind of off-brand for me. I generally skip any sort of outing at which I am forced to listen to Top 40 and see youths make out, but there’s something about New Year’s Eve that I truly love. Maybe it’s the open bar, or maybe it’s the outfits. If you know me, and most of you prob do by now, you know that my general uniform is jeans and an oversized white T-shirt, but on this particular holiday, I go all the f*ck out. Short dress? Check. Sparkles? Sure. Five-inch heels? Why the hell not? I’m just now realizing that I described an extra from the set of Wolf of Wall Street. Whatever, I’m not mad about it.
My point is that on New Year’s Eve, anything goes, which means your choice of attire is truly up to you. So whether you’re like me and like to get dolled up like it’s the night of the big dance at Rydell High or you aim for something a little more low-key, this is what your NYE outfit says about you.
Sequins
Forever21 Sequin Bodycon Mini Dress
I know I said I am a firm believer of sparkles on this day, but let me just state for the record that sequins and sparkles are different. IMHO, any piece of clothing with sequins on it is from Forever21. Even if it’s Chanel, it might as well be Forever21. If you’re rocking sequins on NYE, you’re either a hipster who lives for irony, or you’re a vanilla traditional gal who goes to the types of parties you see in every tampon commercial/episode of The Bachelor featuring a live performance by some Tim McGraw knock-off. Sequins, to me, are like Kanye West: they either need to somehow make themselves cool again or make it be 2006 again.
LBD
Likely Alia Puff-Sleeve A-Line Mini Dress
If you’re wearing an LBD out on the town, you’re a Meredith Blake type who knows that a bunch of dudes and probably a few ladies are checking you out as you walk by. I support you. The type of woman who wears an LBD to a NYE party is radiating Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s vibes and I absolutely stan Holly Golightly. An LBD on any occasion is classic, but on NYE, it demonstrates sexiness with a tiny but of restraint. Like, you may take five straight tequila shots, but you won’t go for the sixth. And when you puke, you’ll do it in a toilet like God intended.
Jumpsuit
If you are wearing a jumpsuit to a NYE party, you are a girl who wants to f*cking dance and take a ton of photos. You will sacrifice practicality for fashion and risk getting walked in on butt naked in the bathroom if it means you’ll look so hot that you get a “happy new years” text from your ex.
T-Shirt
Madewell Rivet & Thread Ex-Boyfriend Long-Sleeve Tee
If you remember from a few paragraphs ago, I love T-shirts. But even though I wear one almost every day, I’ve never been told I look good in them. Then again, nobody wears a T-shirt to look good. You wear it because it hides your holiday bloat and you don’t feel like picking up your dry cleaning… or maybe that’s just me. The girl who shows up to a NYE party in a T-shirt probably just came to nurse a martini and Irish exit before the ball even drops. She’ll tell everyone she’s in the bathroom when they ask where she is, and while everyone else is on the verge of checking themselves into the hospital the next day, she won’t be a sliver of hungover.
Anything Else
Zara Floral Printed Flared Pants
I know this seems really broad, and it is, but things that fall into this category include, but are not limited to, floral, tuxedo jacket dresses, one-sleeved tops, silk trousers, you get the point. If you’re wearing something that doesn’t fall into one of the other categories, you want people to ask you where your cool dress is from so you can say something like, “I don’t even remember! I think I got it in Paris, but I’m not sure!” when you definitely ordered it on Rent the Runway for this specific occasion. Miscellaneous pieces are not necessarily bad, they’re just unexpected, and you thrive off that element of mystery, even if you have to put in a lot of effort to seem ~mysterious~. You’re the type of person who would dress as some elaborate pun for Halloween just so you could spend the entire night explaining it to anyone who glances in your direction.
Images: BoConcept / Shutterstock.com; Forever21; Bloomingdales.com; Parker; Madewell; Zara
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Procrastination is my best talent and my middle name at this point. Laundry? Packing? Paying rent? You’ll probably find me attempting to go on a run if it means getting out of doing any of those. On a real note, there’s nothing I delay more than figuring out WTF my New Year’s Eve plans are every fucking year. It doesn’t help that living in New York City makes this a million times harder. Like, nothing stresses me more—other than trying to figure out the exact date we’ll get a confirmation on Kardashian-Jenner pregnancies. NYE is honestly the most overhyped, extra AF, ridiculously overpriced holiday ever. Nothing rarely goes according to plan, and tbh, I’m always too drunk to remember when midnight even happened, so why the hell would I pay a shit ton of money anyway? Unfortunately, NYE is in just a few weeks, which means you better get the ball rolling on your plans. Ball reference very much intended. From New Yorker to New Yorker, here are five not-so-expensive NYE plans you can make with your best girlfriends to ring in 2018.
1. New Year’s Eve: Y2K At House Of Yes
Grab your 90s neon windbreaker and your boombox (JK, you probably can’t bring a boombox in there) and head over to House of Yes for a night of nostalgia mixed with futuristic chaos. No matter the theme, House of Yes knows how to throw a fucking party, and this will be one NYE you’ll never forget. Come in your best future or throwback outfit, because otherwise you won’t be allowed in—which just adds to the fun if you ask me. It’s like Hallowen mixed with NYE. “Which Fresh Prince did I make out with?” you may ask yourself. “Was that guy the Tin Man, or a robot?” you’ll wonder the next morning as you wipe silver paint off your face. Expect out-of-this-world costumes, live aerial performances, and more. Tickets start at $30, so buy now before they’re all gone. House of Yes events consistently sell out, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.
2. New Year’s Eve at The Ditty
For those of you in Astoria who don’t feel like trekking it to Manhattan or going anywhere else because that’s just too much effort, one of the most popular bars is offering a three-hour open bar and, I quote, “big-ass champagne toast.” Tickets start at $75, where you can watch the countdown live on their TVs, drop it low, and eat tons of drunchies until it’s finally 12am. After midnight, the bar opens up to non-ticketholders for an “all night dance party” that supposedly goes until 8-fucking-am. WHO THE HELL IS STAYING OUT UNTIL 8am? I’m concerned.
3. Stage 48 NYC Times Square New Year’s Eve
Obviously, I was not going to include the Times Square ball drop on this savvy guide I’ve created, because I’m not a fucking martian. Anyone who lives in the vicinity of NYC knows to stay as far away as possible from that area or else get trampled, and don’t say we didn’t tell you so. If you’re still all about the craziness, you’ll def want to check out the epic celebration Stage 48 is bound to have in Hell’s Kitchen. The multi-floor club will provide five hours of open bar, four food stations, and hours of dancing on tables with your PICs. For tickets that start at $79, you’ll want to dress to impress, obvi.
4. Cielo New Year’s Eve 2018
Cielo is a banging nightclub known to host DJs we listen to on Spotify playlists, with some of the very best speakers in the city. So will you go deaf? Probably. But will you embarrassingly dance your ass off? Definitely. I say this as a fact, being that this is exactly what happened here on my birthday. This year’s NYE event will have a five hour open bar, champagne, and annoying party favors you’ll use when you’re drunk. General admission starts at $99, so obvs buy it ASAP before they sell out.
5. New Year’s Eve 2017 Meatpacking Party Pass
This is ~the~ official NYE party pass for club hopping in Meatpacking. There are three exclusive venues, which include The Chester, Common Ground, and The Lately, that offer five hour open bars, classy af prosecco, and top-notch live DJ performances of your favorite basic radio hits. Be sure to hop in each party for a variety of celebrations and of course, to sample the different tequila each place has to offer.
