Like blue cheese, people either f*cking hate or love New Year’s Eve. I, for one, fall into the latter category, even though it’s kind of off-brand for me. I generally skip any sort of outing at which I am forced to listen to Top 40 and see youths make out, but there’s something about New Year’s Eve that I truly love. Maybe it’s the open bar, or maybe it’s the outfits. If you know me, and most of you prob do by now, you know that my general uniform is jeans and an oversized white T-shirt, but on this particular holiday, I go all the f*ck out. Short dress? Check. Sparkles? Sure. Five-inch heels? Why the hell not? I’m just now realizing that I described an extra from the set of Wolf of Wall Street. Whatever, I’m not mad about it.
My point is that on New Year’s Eve, anything goes, which means your choice of attire is truly up to you. So whether you’re like me and like to get dolled up like it’s the night of the big dance at Rydell High or you aim for something a little more low-key, this is what your NYE outfit says about you.
Forever21 Sequin Bodycon Mini Dress
I know I said I am a firm believer of sparkles on this day, but let me just state for the record that sequins and sparkles are different. IMHO, any piece of clothing with sequins on it is from Forever21. Even if it’s Chanel, it might as well be Forever21. If you’re rocking sequins on NYE, you’re either a hipster who lives for irony, or you’re a
vanilla traditional gal who goes to the types of parties you see in every tampon commercial/episode of The Bachelor featuring a live performance by some Tim McGraw knock-off. Sequins, to me, are like Kanye West: they either need to somehow make themselves cool again or make it be 2006 again.
Likely Alia Puff-Sleeve A-Line Mini Dress
If you’re wearing an LBD out on the town, you’re a Meredith Blake type who knows that a bunch of dudes and probably a few ladies are checking you out as you walk by. I support you. The type of woman who wears an LBD to a NYE party is radiating Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s vibes and I absolutely stan Holly Golightly. An LBD on any occasion is classic, but on NYE, it demonstrates sexiness with a tiny but of restraint. Like, you may take five straight tequila shots, but you won’t go for the sixth. And when you puke, you’ll do it in a toilet like God intended.
If you are wearing a jumpsuit to a NYE party, you are a girl who wants to f*cking dance and take a ton of photos. You will sacrifice practicality for fashion and risk getting walked in on butt naked in the bathroom if it means you’ll look so hot that you get a “happy new years” text from your ex.
Madewell Rivet & Thread Ex-Boyfriend Long-Sleeve Tee
If you remember from a few paragraphs ago, I love T-shirts. But even though I wear one almost every day, I’ve never been told I look good in them. Then again, nobody wears a T-shirt to look good. You wear it because it hides your holiday bloat and you don’t feel like picking up your dry cleaning… or maybe that’s just me. The girl who shows up to a NYE party in a T-shirt probably just came to nurse a martini and Irish exit before the ball even drops. She’ll tell everyone she’s in the bathroom when they ask where she is, and while everyone else is on the verge of checking themselves into the hospital the next day, she won’t be a sliver of hungover.
Zara Floral Printed Flared Pants
I know this seems really broad, and it is, but things that fall into this category include, but are not limited to, floral, tuxedo jacket dresses, one-sleeved tops, silk trousers, you get the point. If you’re wearing something that doesn’t fall into one of the other categories, you want people to ask you where your cool dress is from so you can say something like, “I don’t even remember! I think I got it in Paris, but I’m not sure!” when you definitely ordered it on Rent the Runway for this specific occasion. Miscellaneous pieces are not necessarily bad, they’re just unexpected, and you thrive off that element of mystery, even if you have to put in a lot of effort to seem ~mysterious~. You’re the type of person who would dress as some elaborate pun for Halloween just so you could spend the entire night explaining it to anyone who glances in your direction.
Images: BoConcept / Shutterstock.com; Forever21; Bloomingdales.com; Parker; Madewell; Zara
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Christmas is officially over. I know, it’s very sad, but I promise you will continue to see Christmas lights on houses for weeks to come. But the next biggest celebration is New Year’s Eve. Honestly, I find it rather underwhelming, but some people go all out, and that really tells you what kind of people we are. Here is a list of common New Year’s Eve plans so you can see what it says about you.
1. Watching The Ball Drop In Person
You are a ballsy person and I salute you. You do what you want, no matter how many people tell you not to. Standing in the freezing cold for hours on end sounds like a nightmare to me but you do you. There will be tons of pushing and shoving, way worse than a busy night at your favorite bar. You’ll be tired and cold, so bundle up. You are the kind of person who loves adventure but does not think about the consequences. So remember, if you complain about any of the above, remember you did this to yourself and I have no sympathy.
2. Getting Wasted At A Club
If your NYE plans involve a ton of alcohol and dancing in a crowded club, you are the one who rounds up your friends to go out, always. We love you and we hate you, but every time we go out with you, we have fun. You are outgoing, free-spirited, and know how to have a good time. You may not be the most grown-up person in your friend group but f*ck it, at least you aren’t boring.
3. Staying Home…Alone
Either you had a super crazy year and just need a break or you’re boring af. Staying home alone on New Year’s Eve is kinda depressing. You probably won’t stay up until midnight, eh? That doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. Just don’t let this be a precedent for your whole year. It’s okay to be a homebody, but try and hang out with the people going to a club on New Year’s Eve once and a while, it’ll do you some good.
4. House Party
Going to a house party on New Year’s Eve makes me think that you are super content with the people you have in your life. You don’t feel the need to go out and meet someone new. You are chill and more go with the flow. But just because you aren’t getting plastered at a club doesn’t mean you can’t ring in the new year wasted (with your head in the toilet, possibly). Respect.
5. Obsessing Over Your Midnight Kiss
No matter where you spend the New Year, you are going to introduce 2019 in the way you spent your entire 2018: obsessing over your latest crush. You will express your stress of who you will kiss on New Years to anyone who will listen. Will you try and go for your crush? Will you go for someone more “attainable” to make your crush jealous? Will you decide to be an independent woman and not kiss anyone? Remember, you are not defined by who you kiss, so let loose and try to have fun.
Images: Shutterstock; Giphy (2)