10 TV Shows Premiering This Summer To Give You An Excuse To Stay Home

When it comes to new TV shows, I feel like I never know what’s happening anymore. It’s hard to keep up with all the streaming services (and actual TV), but now that having a social life is basically a thing of the past, it’s nice to know your options. If you’ve burned through pretty much everything in your Netflix queue and you’re sick of people tell you to watch Game of Thrones (it’s just not meant to be for me), you need some new options ASAP.

Even though production on most TV shows remains shut down due to the COVID-19 pandemic, things are slowly starting to resume, and there’s still lots of new stuff coming down the pipeline this summer. Whether you’re in the mood for something dark and dramatic or a little less serious, here are some of the most anticipated TV shows set to premiere this summer.

‘Perry Mason’ – 6/21

If you’re stuck at home with your parents this summer, here’s a good option to watch with your dad. Perry Mason was originally a legal show that ran in the 1950s and 60s, and then they kept making TV movies until the 90s. This past weekend, HBO debuted a new reimagining of the classic character, now played by Matthew Rhys. The new version takes place in Los Angeles during the Great Depression, and it’s full of dark and twisty vibes.

‘Search Party’ – 6/25

After a break of more than two years, Search Party is finally back for season 3, moving from TBS to HBO Max. The new season is both funnier and crazier than ever, with the entire crew swept up in a new trial, this time for murder. There are tons of fun cameos and guest appearances from your favorite comedians, so you’ll probably get through the entire season in one day.

‘I’ll Be Gone In The Dark’ – 6/28

If you haven’t gotten a good true crime fix since Tiger King came out (that was years ago, right?) the wait is finally over. This six-part HBO documentary follows writer Michelle McNamara as she investigates and writes a book about the notorious Golden State Killer. No spoilers, but this story is deeply f*cked up, and the new doc looks creepy in the best way.

‘Say I Do’ – 7/1

Netflix’s brand new show from the creators of Queer Eye features a team of three experts helping couples have the wedding day of their dreams. Judging from the trailer, this is a very similar vibe to Queer Eye, but like, wedding edition. Basically, you’re def going to cry at least once an episode.

‘Say Yes To The Dress’ – 7/11

Honestly, I didn’t even realize this show really had seasons, I thought the episodes just kind of appeared on Hulu. I guess not! The Kleinfeld team is back for another season, which is sure to feature beautiful dresses, nightmare moms, and more than a few mental breakdowns. Can’t wait to watch with my mom.

‘Married at First Sight’

Married at First Sight Taylor Brandon

Apparently July is wedding month, and Married at First Sight is returning with a new batch of couples. Season 11 features couples from New Orleans, so I’m sure there will be some interesting personalities. If your dating life is still on hold due to coronavirus, at least you can watch this to make up for it.

‘Brave New World’ – 7/15

NBC’s Peacock streaming service officially launches in July, which means one more set of originals to keep track of. They’re kicking off with a few new shows, but the most intriguing is Brave New World, an adaptation of Aldous Huxley’s classic novel about ~the future~. According to Deadline, the story “imagines a utopian society that has achieved peace and stability through the prohibition of monogamy, privacy, money, family, and history itself,” but I have a feeling the whole “peace and stability” part won’t last.

‘The Alienist: Angel Of Darkness’ – 7/19

Originally a miniseries, The Alienist is back for a second season on TNT. The show, set in turn-of-the-century New York City, follows a criminal psychologist and incorporates real historical figures as he tries to solve a mystery. Dakota Fanning also stars, and season 2 looks like it’s going to be extra mysterious.

‘The Real Housewives Of Potomac’ – 8/2

RHOP is one of Bravo’s most underrated shows, and the ladies of Potomac are FINALLY coming back. Their season premiere was pushed back a few months due to COVID delays, but this is still on track to be one of the most dramatic seasons ever (and I don’t mean that in a bullsh*t Chris Harrison way). The biggest drama this season is most likely Monique and Candiace’s fight that resulted in a legal battle, but we’ll have to watch to get the full story.

‘Selling Sunset’ – 8/7

Everyone has been loving season 2 of the show that’s like The Hills meets Million Dollar Listing, and Netflix isn’t making us wait long for more episodes. Along with releasing season 2 in May, they announced that season 3 is dropping in August. The entire season 2 cast is returning, so I can’t wait to see what happens next in the world of high-stakes real estate drama.

Basically, there’s a lot left to watch this summer, even if you feel like you’re running out of options. Or, you know, you could always just watch Parks & Recreation again from the beginning—no judgment.

Images: Sophy Holland/Bravo; Netflix; Lifetime; HBO, HBO Max, Netflix, TLC, Bravo  / YouTube

The 7 Best New TV Shows To Binge Watch During This Insane Blizzard

It’s no secret that I love television. I’m named after a reality TV legend, for fuck’s sake. It’s also no secret that the spring TV schedule usually kinda sucks. During the fall, all our favorites come back and Shonda Rhimes usually has at least one new show with a strong, sexually aware female lead that turns our world upside down. By spring, we’re left with Dancing with the Stars and world’s worst most boring season of The Bachelor. But this year there’s a handful of new shows mixing shit up and taking over our lives. I mean, who needs to go to the gym and work on their summer body anyway? So to make sure you’re not spending your TV time watching The Office reruns on Netflix, here are our seven fave new shows that you need to be watching rn or you can’t sit with us.

Related: 7 TV Shows To Look Forward To In 2017
 

1. ‘Big Little Lies’

If you haven’t watched this yet, you’re probably already being excluded from some TV talk sessions with your work besties and you just don’t know it yet. HBO got the the rights to the book and are fucking slaying so hard with the mini-series that even book snobs can’t say shit about “the book being so much better” (vom). It’s about some rich AF moms and their families who have Gretchen Weiners’ hair of secrets and hate each other, but somehow get tied up in a murder at a PTA fundraiser—you know, typical mom shit. It also stars a bunch of betchy actresses like Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman and Zoe Kravitz, so that never hurts. The whole thing is pretty much life goals minus the abuse and homicide. The only downside of this show is you have to deal with Shailene Woodley being around a bunch, but that’s just life in 2017, I guess. 

Big Little Lies promo

2. ‘The Arrangement’

Ah… An E! scripted series. Who knew they could actually create real TV shows? First they gave us The Royals, and their newest show is more of the same shit: juicy, kind of ridiculous at times, wealthy-famous-people drama. The premise of The Arrangement is that a pretty actress is offered a contract marriage with one of the hottest stars in Hollywood. Seems pretty standard, whatever. Where it gets good is that it’s supposedly based on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ insane relationship that had him jumping on Oprah’s couch like a goddamn lunatic and how the whole thing was arranged by The Church of Scientology. I love a conspiracy theory, but one reenacted by the geniuses that brought us the Kardashians? Sign me right tf up.

The Arrangement

3. ‘Z: The Beginning of Everything’

For those of you who read Cliffsnotes for The Great Gatsby in high school and remember thinking “I’d fucks with this life,” then this show is for you. The show tells the tale of Zelda Fitzgerald, the flapper betch who had her husband, F Scott Fitzgerald (ya know, the Gatsby dude) wrapped around her finger. She raised hell and didn’t give a fuck who knew it. And instead of focusing on her famous husband, Z: The Beginning of Everything puts the badass woman who inspired one of the world’s most iconic stories in the spotlight where she belongs. It takes place in the 1920s so there’s lots of glitz and sex and illegal behavior and who doesn’t love that shit? Also, Zelda is played by two enormous eyes that people keep telling me are a human woman named Christina Ricci, and they’re doing a great job. 

Z: The Beginning Of Everything

4. Imposters

You didn’t think I was going to do this whole thing without mention of a Bravo show did you? Lol it’s like y’all don’t know me at all. But for real, this show is fire. Is it exactly like The Catch on ABC? Sure. But it’s better, and don’t any of you argue with me on this because you’re wrong and I’m right. Fucking duh. It’s better because the main girl is the con artist who takes guys for everything they’re worth instead of another asshole dude fucking over a bunch of girls. So yeah, #Feminism. The Bravo version also has Uma Thurman going all Kill Bill and fucking up anyone who messes with the con. Again, #feminism.

Imposters promo

5. ‘Riverdale’

I know, I know… The CW gets some love? What’s next? Freeform? But you can’t hate too much because The CW brought us Gossip Girl (RIP). And this show is fucking legit, okay? It’s got all the elements to make a binge-able show. Teen drama, love triangles, a gay best friend, an average person getting all hot and shit over the summer, a teacher-student affair, fucking murder. I mean, what else can you ask for? It’s the Archie comics but like, not lame AF and missing half the pages because your camp friend stored it under her mattress all summer. 

Riverdale

6. ‘Feud: Bette and Joan’

Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, two gorgeous famous betches who fucking hate each other. Isn’t that how it goes? No? Weird. We love this FX series for a ton of reasons. 1) Ryan Murphy created it and he’s pretty much a male, slightly more twisted version of Shonda Rhimes in the sense that everything he touches is fucking gold; 2) It’s the story of two legendary actresses who wanted to kill each other on the scene of a movie they filmed; 3) One of those legendary actresses is Joan Crawford, aka the “NO MORE WIRE HANGERS EVER” lady, and 3) Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon are literal perfection. If that’s not enough for you, then idk what else to say. 

Bette & Joan

7. ‘Twin Peaks’

Tbh, I never saw the original because I was born in the 90s and I was way too young for this shit when it first came out, also my ex wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it so I vowed never to watch. Sorry. But now literally everyone is wigging about the remake and it’s on Showtime so it can’t be bad. When you try and look up the plot, everything is super vague because they’re trying to build the suspense, which I can appreciate, so all I can tell you is that it’s about murder and shit and I love a crime series, especially one with a cult following—even if that cult includes my ex, who fucking sucks. 

Twin Peaks Promo

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