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At this point in 2020, it seems like a fair assumption that your to-do list of shows and movies to watch in quarantine may be dwindling. Back in March, you were busy cramming as many hours of TV as possible into what you thought were a few weeks of staying at home, but nine months later, the existing options have been thoroughly depleted. 

You can only rewatch your old favorites so many times, but thankfully, the well of new shows to obsess over hasn’t run dry yet, and our latest binge-worthy find is Amazon Prime Video’s The Wilds. It’s a show that checks a lot of boxes—relatable characters, dark humor, and major twists around every corner—so whatever you’re normally into, you should probably give The Wilds a try. If you’re the kind of person who really needs to be sold on a new show, here’s why this is the one for you, based on what you already love. 

‘Lost’

I mean, we couldn’t talk about a show with a plane crash and just NOT mention Lost. It might be the most obvious comparison, but beyond the initial moments on the beach, The Wilds will suck you in with its mysterious developments, just like Lost did. Lost kept audiences guessing constantly for six seasons, and The Wilds is just getting started, so buckle up.

‘The Society’

In The Society, a group of teens are forced to work together after all the adults in their town mysteriously disappear. Similarly, the teenage characters in The Wilds will have to work together if they don’t want to, like, die of starvation on a remote island. If you loved The Society and were heartbroken that it got canceled after just one season, The Wilds is going to be the perfect replacement for you.

‘Pretty Little Liars’

To state the obvious, both PLL and The Wilds revolve around groups of teenage girls. But going a little deeper, both shows deal with people trying to get to the bottom of a situation that’s much deeper and more f*cked up than it appears on the surface. It’s a little too early to decide which characters on these two shows line up with each other, but the characters on The Wilds come from diverse backgrounds and ethnicities, with a wide range of personalities, interests, and viewpoints—what could go wrong?? The girls stranded on the island may not be getting texts from A, but a phone would definitely come in handy…

‘Survivor’

If you grew up watching Survivor (guilty!), you’ve probably always wondered what it would be like to find yourself trying to thrive on a distant beach with a group of strangers. At this point, I’d just be happy to get out of the house for a few weeks. The characters in The Wilds certainly didn’t apply to be on a competition show, but they still find themselves facing challenges, and are forced to figure sh*t out with people they would never normally be around.

For a limited time you can stream the first episode of The Wilds for free on Amazon Prime Video or Amazon Prime Video’s YouTube.

Over the past two months, we’ve talked a lot about everything that’s not happening because of the coronavirus pandemic. In particular, dozens of TV shows have shut down their production, and we still don’t know when things will be back up and running. (Except the Kardashians, who are filming full episodes from home—they work so hard for us.) Needless to say, many of our favorite spring and summer shows are low-key f*cked (RIP The Bachelorette), but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to look forward to.

This month, there are lots of TV shows premiering, so your at-home boredom doesn’t have to be too extreme. Some of these are fan favorites returning for new seasons, while others are debuting for the first time. Either way, thankfully their production was at least mostly finished before Miss Rona ruined everything.

‘Billions’ – 5/3

If you love Succession, then Showtime’s Billions is kind of like its darker, more batsh*t crazy cousin. There’s a lot of confusing financial stuff happening, but also plenty of juicy sh*t if you’re a messy bitch who lives for drama. Stars Paul Giamatti and Damian Lewis are back for season 5, and they’re joined by a supporting cast that includes Julianna Margulies, who I’m still obsessed with from The Good Wife. The trailer for the new season actually looks insane, so I need to catch up ASAP.

‘Camp Getaway’ – 5/4

Remember like… activities? Lol, the bar is literally so low for excitement right now. Bravo’s new show follows a group of counselors at a summer camp for adults—think Below Deck, but not on a boat. Obviously, they get into some shenanigans of their own while also trying to keep the campers happy. I’ve seen the first episode already, and it actually seems surprisingly messy and fun, so if you need a new reality fix, I’d recommend tuning in.

‘Reno 911!’ – 5/4

The gang is back! Over a decade after this ridiculous police satire finished off its original six-season run, it’s getting revived. The new season will be streaming on Quibi, which means that all the episodes will be less than 10 minutes long. I’ll be honest, I haven’t fired up my Quibi app in a few weeks, but Niecy Nash’s antics might be exactly what I need to get sucked back in. And just like most Quibi shows, there will be new episodes every day, which is exactly what we need during quarantimes.

‘Blindspot’ – 5/7

If you’re quarantined with your parents right now, there’s a 75% chance that your dad already has this marked on his calendar. Blindspot, which follows a woman who wakes up naked in Times Square and doesn’t remember anything (my number one blackout fear), is coming back for one final season on NBC, and it’s sure to finish with a bang. This might not be the kind of show you normally get into, but if you liked Prison Break, Lost, or 24, you should give it a try.

‘Solar Opposites’ – 5/8

This new Hulu show is the latest from the creator of Rick & Morty, so you probably already know if this will be up your alley. The show centers on a family of aliens who have to move to middle America, so it’s basically like every college student who had to go home because of coronavirus. But actually, if you love cartoon shows, and you’re smoking a lot of weed during quarantine, here’s your new favorite show.

‘I Know This Much Is True’ – 5/10

HBO always knows exactly how to get us, huh? This miniseries, based on a best-selling novel, stars Mark Ruffalo in a double role as identical twin brothers, one of whom has paranoid schizophrenia. The trailer low-key gave me chills, and I already know this sh*t is going to make me cry. The stellar supporting cast includes Rosie O’Donnell and Kathryn Hahn, so this really can’t come soon enough.

‘Amy Schumer Learns To Cook’ – 5/11

Okay, who had “Food Network show starring Amy Schumer” on their quarantine bingo card? Yeah, no one, but I’m not complaining. In this new series, shot entirely at home, Amy’s chef husband Chris Fischer teaches her to cook. What could go wrong? Obviously, hilarity will ensue, wine will be consumed, and Amy might even learn something! When she agreed to do the show, Amy also asked Food Network to make a $50,000 charitable donation, so you can actually feel good about watching this, too.

‘The Great’ – 5/15

Big month for Hulu! This historical satire miniseries stars Elle Fanning as Catherine the Great, who ruled Russia for much of the 18th century. Helen Mirren played Catherine in a miniseries last year, but this one obviously focuses on the earlier part of her reign. Nicholas Hoult also stars as her husband, so there will be something nice to look at, in addition to the sets and costumes. Elle Fanning is one of my favorite actresses, so this is an exciting project, and you can also say you learned about history.

‘Ramy’ – 5/29

I feel like a lot of people still are sleeping on Ramy, but considering that creator/writer/star Ramy Youssef won a Golden Globe for the first season, that needs to change. Youssef plays the son of Egyptian immigrants living in New Jersey, dealing with his own identity while trying not to disappoint his family. Season 2, coming to Hulu on the 29th, looks very funny, and the trailer features a casual cameo from tw0-time Oscar winner Mahershala Ali. You have until the end of the month to catch up, so get to it.

And while you wait for all of these shows to start, we also broke down the best TV shows and movies that are new on Netflix this month. Obviously, we all miss being able to go out and do real things, but at least there’s plenty of good TV to keep us busy. And if your eyes start to hurt from too much screen time, take a time out and read a book. It can’t hurt!

Image: Courtesy of Hulu; Showtime, Bravo, IGN, Blindspot, Hulu (3), HBO, The Howard Stern Show / YouTube

It’s no secret that I love television. I’m named after a reality TV legend, for fuck’s sake. It’s also no secret that the spring TV schedule usually kinda sucks. During the fall, all our favorites come back and Shonda Rhimes usually has at least one new show with a strong, sexually aware female lead that turns our world upside down. By spring, we’re left with Dancing with the Stars and world’s worst most boring season of The Bachelor. But this year there’s a handful of new shows mixing shit up and taking over our lives. I mean, who needs to go to the gym and work on their summer body anyway? So to make sure you’re not spending your TV time watching The Office reruns on Netflix, here are our seven fave new shows that you need to be watching rn or you can’t sit with us.

1. ‘Big Little Lies’

If you haven’t watched this yet, you’re probably already being excluded from some TV talk sessions with your work besties and you just don’t know it yet. HBO got the the rights to the book and are fucking slaying so hard with the mini-series that even book snobs can’t say shit about “the book being so much better” (vom). It’s about some rich AF moms and their families who have Gretchen Weiners’ hair of secrets and hate each other, but somehow get tied up in a murder at a PTA fundraiser—you know, typical mom shit. It also stars a bunch of betchy actresses like Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman and Zoe Kravitz, so that never hurts. The whole thing is pretty much life goals minus the abuse and homicide. The only downside of this show is you have to deal with Shailene Woodley being around a bunch, but that’s just life in 2017, I guess. 

2. ‘The Arrangement’

Ah… An E! scripted series. Who knew they could actually create real TV shows? First they gave us The Royals, and their newest show is more of the same shit: juicy, kind of ridiculous at times, wealthy-famous-people drama. The premise of The Arrangement is that a pretty actress is offered a contract marriage with one of the hottest stars in Hollywood. Seems pretty standard, whatever. Where it gets good is that it’s supposedly based on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ insane relationship that had him jumping on Oprah’s couch like a goddamn lunatic and how the whole thing was arranged by The Church of Scientology. I love a conspiracy theory, but one reenacted by the geniuses that brought us the Kardashians? Sign me right tf up.

3. ‘Z: The Beginning of Everything’

For those of you who read Cliffsnotes for The Great Gatsby in high school and remember thinking “I’d fucks with this life,” then this show is for you. The show tells the tale of Zelda Fitzgerald, the flapper betch who had her husband, F Scott Fitzgerald (ya know, the Gatsby dude) wrapped around her finger. She raised hell and didn’t give a fuck who knew it. And instead of focusing on her famous husband, Z: The Beginning of Everything puts the badass woman who inspired one of the world’s most iconic stories in the spotlight where she belongs. It takes place in the 1920s so there’s lots of glitz and sex and illegal behavior and who doesn’t love that shit? Also, Zelda is played by two enormous eyes that people keep telling me are a human woman named Christina Ricci, and they’re doing a great job. 

4. Imposters

You didn’t think I was going to do this whole thing without mention of a Bravo show did you? Lol it’s like y’all don’t know me at all. But for real, this show is fire. Is it exactly like The Catch on ABC? Sure. But it’s better, and don’t any of you argue with me on this because you’re wrong and I’m right. Fucking duh. It’s better because the main girl is the con artist who takes guys for everything they’re worth instead of another asshole dude fucking over a bunch of girls. So yeah, #Feminism. The Bravo version also has Uma Thurman going all Kill Bill and fucking up anyone who messes with the con. Again, #feminism.

5. ‘Riverdale’

I know, I know… The CW gets some love? What’s next? Freeform? But you can’t hate too much because The CW brought us Gossip Girl (RIP). And this show is fucking legit, okay? It’s got all the elements to make a binge-able show. Teen drama, love triangles, a gay best friend, an average person getting all hot and shit over the summer, a teacher-student affair, fucking murder. I mean, what else can you ask for? It’s the Archie comics but like, not lame AF and missing half the pages because your camp friend stored it under her mattress all summer. 

6. ‘Feud: Bette and Joan’

Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, two gorgeous famous betches who fucking hate each other. Isn’t that how it goes? No? Weird. We love this FX series for a ton of reasons. 1) Ryan Murphy created it and he’s pretty much a male, slightly more twisted version of Shonda Rhimes in the sense that everything he touches is fucking gold; 2) It’s the story of two legendary actresses who wanted to kill each other on the scene of a movie they filmed; 3) One of those legendary actresses is Joan Crawford, aka the “NO MORE WIRE HANGERS EVER” lady, and 3) Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon are literal perfection. If that’s not enough for you, then idk what else to say. 

7. ‘Twin Peaks’

Tbh, I never saw the original because I was born in the 90s and I was way too young for this shit when it first came out, also my ex wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it so I vowed never to watch. Sorry. But now literally everyone is wigging about the remake and it’s on Showtime so it can’t be bad. When you try and look up the plot, everything is super vague because they’re trying to build the suspense, which I can appreciate, so all I can tell you is that it’s about murder and shit and I love a crime series, especially one with a cult following—even if that cult includes my ex, who fucking sucks.